The truth...

Ah...i have doubts occassionally if I am a lesbian or not...although I am sure i like man...but this girl in my school always attracts my attention....she has very long hair...very very long...like me...and likes to wear checkered shirt like me...and wears dirty old jackets...like me....bun up her hair with a chopstick....like me.....and while I was suspecting my sexual preference...I realise it is not a girl-like-girl situation anymore....It is a plain..."I think I love myself too much" case...becos...she looks likes me...not the face of cos...but the dress sense...and hair....so...the only person i am in love with....is actually myself. This is so unhealthy.


290405

Decided....or maybe not.

Yes...I have made up my mind...for my final project..and the only problem left is whether it works...I hope it does...I really dun noe...and well I tot I may have decided about things...I always change my mind...and watever...i am just fickled minded...yah...that's it...what am i talking about....I clearly have not made up my mind..STUPID!

290405

Lazy morning..

Yeah...yesterday was a gloomy day....wet and gloomy...I woke up at at 7.45am before my alarm which will strike at 8am...and reset my alarm befores it starts to annoy me...i reset it to 8.15am...I tot..I really dun have to wake up that early since there is no lessons...anyway..yah..I went back to sleep....8.15am....I wake up again...to switch off that bastard...walk to the oven and preheat it...so that i can toast my bread....so..while it needs time to heat up...I go back to sleep...8.40am...I wake up again and my oven should be ready...i throw the bread in...close the oven door...and go back to sleep...8.42am...tot i smell the bread...ah...must be ready....I force myself to wake up , swtich on the TV.... boil water to make some tea.....check my toast...ok..can be better in a few seconds time...quickly brush my teeth...open the oven door...take out the bread...take out pate from the fridge....spread it...and eat it....one piece...two piece...drink some tea....three piece...four piece....open the oven door...let the heat out to enjoy some warmth....as it is cold....sitting near the window...then...switch off the oven....sweep the bread crumps away from my t-shirt.....stand up..look at my watch...9.20am...switch off the TV and...go back to sleep....10 am...wake up....look at the clock on my mobile...and go back to sleep....wake up again...look at window from my bed...and go back to sleep....wake up...and go back to sleep.....11.30am....Woke up...and finally decided that if i dun wake up and go to school by 12.30am...I will not be able to make it for my lecture....i woke up...finally...jump into my jeans....wrap myself up with scarf and jacket....11.45am.....end of my morning struggle...and back to reality.


280405

Sunshine boy vs Olive boy Final round

I just realise i have not seen Olive boy for 2 days...and i only realise that today...which means...I have successfully get over him...ah...that is how fast i can fall out of love with somebody...scary.

I saw sunshine boy the day before...and we have a short chat about our panic over the graduation show...we had a good laugh over our pathetic last minute struggle...watever...

And so..we have come to the final round today...
nOBODy wins...and everybody wins....life goes on.

280405

True enuff...

Pisces

Getting what you want has to do with support from others than you think - and if that means smiling when you want to be grimacing, then so be it.


Indeed...I suspect that will be the forecast for my next 30 plus days before my assessment...where i will need..A LOT OF HELP...from so many people...I probably would want to scream for help in the back of my head when i panic...but have to smile so hard to ask for help...... watever...by hook or by crook...I SHALL GRADUATE!

280405

The fate thing...

If fate is responsible for me to notice olive boy..than fate is also responsible for me to not fall in love with him in the end....I armed myself with the digicamcorder like a professional stalker with a tripod....waiting for him to appear for the past 4 days...and he is nowhere to be seen until i finally see him in the lecture theatre where I will be too embarass to film him...knowing that there is a row of my fellow classmate looking at me....from the top rows of seats...in the end..that was the end...I din manage to get a single shot of video of him...none...nothing... and today... just one hour after i return all my video equipments...HE WALKS INTO EMA!!!!!...that is what I call fate. And he smiled...the most hurtful way....Apparently...he was forced to smile at me...when he sees me...becos I smile at him...I hate this feeling!!!!

250405

This is the pair of shoes I really wish to buy....arggh....so expensive...look at the price...£34.99!!!! ...

Oh...I really feel bad about it...

Yes, I do....I do feel bad towards JM...not becos of my messy room which I have concluded that long ago...but for the fact that I din sent him off this morning...not even to the door...I just good bye to him at the my room's door...and he left...and I continued eating my breakfast....and then less than one minute after he walks out...I jump into my jeans and wanted to catch up with him...and at least walk him off...but then...I hesitated again...and finally decided to go back to sleep since I have already finish my last piece of bacon...... I totally agree with his logic that I will make him late becos I walk too slowly....he is actually just on time to the bus station if he leave immediately...and I haven even get change....so...I decided to let him do his own walk until when he left that I realise what a bad host I was...I always am....whenver my frens come to visit...and to further illustrate how bad I feel...I fell asleep after feeling too guilty...and end up having a bad dream...I dreamt of JM walking to a wrong train station and missed his train back to Manchester....ahh...that is how bad I feel...until my subconscious make a nightmare of it....and I made a big move to top-up my mobile and make a call to him in Manchester telling him how bad i felt....

And so the conclusion was.. ...though I am still not remorseful of the mess in my room....hope he did enjoy his stay in glasgow..and even if it was not as pleasant as he tot would be...but at least a very educational enriching one....which he agrees...ah..watever...glad that he is gone now...and I can watch my TV finally in peace...he knows what I mean.

230405

Lightbulb story.

Yes..I am obssessed with man who can change a lightbulb or rather help me change a lightbulb. But at this point, only my father ever really did that for me...and he was the reason for my silly fetish. I remember when i was a kid...and there was once the lightbulb went off in the bathroom and i was too timid to bathe. My father save the day and change the lightbulb and i tot..hmmn...my future Mr right shall be someone who needs know how to change a light bulb. And so..that is the story.But all my frens tot it was a silly fetish becos according to him...all man know how to change a lightbulb...fair enuff...I am not against his statement..it is an advantage to me. Then over the years...I have been observing. Unfortunately...I am the one who change my own lightbulb. all the while And the closest...is that lightbulb guy who offered a lightbulb from room 9...and leave. And so...being a person who believe in absolute independence....I have manage to change the lightbulb several times over the years which I am growing proud of myself each time i change one. Yesterday...my fren JM came to my house. A surprise out of schedule visit. like i mentioned earlier in my previous blog...TOO BAD...he really ended up sleeping among my trash...his complained was...he is greeted with a pile of papers and notes when his head turn left...and a mess of wires when his head turn right...then he is traumatise by the fact that he can see chunks of my hair all around my place...his dying wish yeaterday was to take the first bus home the next morning...i guess...but anyway...yah...yesterday was the ultimate chance to confirm that this guy and I are platonic. i open the door...and switch on the light...SNAP!...it went of after a split second...the usual...the bulb fused. It is about time...the shine-life of the bulb here is really roughly about 3 to 5 mth...and yah...it is about time to change one.. at the very moment when JM is at my door step...I was secretly looking forward to see how interesting occassion it can be...at least to show that (a) at least this man knows how to change a lightbulb and
(b) if this man shall be the man who help me change the lightbulb.

I remember LW made a comment like this just yesterday "you never noe"....yah...i though i never noe...

Indeed, I never know...and you never know...

Guess wat.

I end up changing my own lightbulb...and he just sat there to watch it.

That is it...this incident has fully indicate that there will be absolutely nothing other than frenship between he and me. And which...in fact we have long concluded this before he came and visit.

p.s/However, I would like to say this to JM...greatest apology that you did not have the privilege to stay in a at least better looking condition...Too bad...becos you came without proper one week notice...I think i did warn you before but you din heed my advice. Sorry, but serve you right.

220405

Sunshine boy vs olive boy round 5

Yes...I saw sunshine boy...he was walking in the lecture theatre today behind me...and that's all..

While i was not really conscious about where olive boy was...I sat down and saw him sitting two rows in front and on the left of me...then he change plce with his fren and ended up two rows away, in front of me...with my direct front row empty...therefore had a very clear view of his every movement.

I took a picture of him.

In fact a few pictures of him.

Then right after the lecture...I walk down the lecture theatre and he saw me...I put up the usual "not very obvious..but is smiling" look when i see him...and he..apparantly saw me but din have any bigger expression than a look that indicates he probably saw me with a less than a 1 second glance...VERY CASUALLY...and that's it.

How sad...in fact, the saddest for the whole weekend...worse than the last two days when i din see him.


And hence, nobody wins today...not even me.

Sunshine boy vs olive boy round 4

Today..as mention earlier on...olive boy is Missing in Action!...completely nowhere to be seen...absolutely gone..totally crazy for me....where i sit in the school lobby with a digicamcorder pointing at anyone who comes in...but not him...


However, I did see sunshine boy with his usual smile...and he handed me a leaflet telling me about this gig he is playing...apparently...he plays a guitar or something...and is in a band..oooh...if he is the drummer...I cannot imagine...but anyway...


Today's verdict is....Sunshine boy WINS!...with the fact that olive boy is missing...but than...the presence of olive boy somehow is so much stronger especially when i dun see him all day....strange.

210405

Where is my olive boy...?

He had gone missing. I have book a digital video camera for a week..with this evil plot to secretly take footages of him..although i did mention that i am not obsessed with him...but he is so far the only person i want to look out for...and so...since i have a video cam in hand..i thot i want him in it...but i couldn't find him...which he will usually be around in the building...he is nowhere to be seen for the whole day...i went to EMA which he is always in..and he is not there...the kitchen...and he is not there...the lecture theatre...he is not there..the lift..and he is not there...and no where?...Where is he? The highest possiblity is of cos his studio...but but...I can't enter his studio...he is from the MFA..which is out of bound for me.... :(

210405

One week notice...

I am not a particularly organised person...in terms of projects...I am always on dote on time...to the very last minute...but not the organisatiion of my room...I am plain lazy...and very messy...and I am not trying to be humble..when i mean messy...it means...REALLY MESSY...I have a lecturer who once saw a picture of my room in singapore and make the following comment which i will remember forever..he says" If i had a daughter like you..I will hang myself..." I hope you get the point..that is how messy...mind you..my lecturer is also an artist..who is not very organise person himself...and then...I remember a few instance when frens had to come to my house to do school projects...i can see the "horror" in their eyes...they are simply horrified...and whenever there are relatives who come to my house for surprise visit...my mum will lock up my door and force me to get out to watch a movie or do shopping outside until my relative leave...and she will tell them that "my eccentric artist daughter dun like people to enter her room when she is not around...she locks her room when she is not at home...ahhh...."...and becos of this..my relatives always think i am eccentric...and for close frens...they know how messy I can be...and always offer to help me do spring cleaning...which is disasterious for me...becos their version of spring clean...is to throw my stuff away..No thanks.....there are also instance where I cannot stand my own horrible mess and really do clean up...but usually with very strong reasons such as...I am going to have house visit by VIP...such as..during my stay in Glasgow...a couple of frens came and visit me in glasgow...and to show that I welcome them...i make an effort to clear up my mess most importantly with partical intention to clear up a space to make an extra bed...for instance...I spend almost a week to slowly clear up my mess when my fren liwei came last year...and also spend like 5 days to clear up when lim and family came and stay...spend a week again when valerie and her mum came..and etc...even for Michael who just down by for an evening ...made me spend at least 3 days to arrange a few things...hence the standard procedures of informing me of your visit is very important for me...at least ONE WEEK NOTICE!...and hence...it comes to the main point of my blog today...my fren JM is suppose to vist me next monday..and i had all to be arrange...by monday...but he made a sudden call yesterday and say he is coming today...WAT!?...i told him he will be sorry...becos he gave me a less than 24 hours notice and all i can do...is spend 15 minutes to wash up the dishes...pile up all my notes...and vacumn the carpet this morning...which i spend less than an hour altogether...anyway...serve him right for not giving me an earlier notice...he had to make do with making his bed among my trash...too bad!

210405

By the way...

He must be somebody that I am utterly obsessed with for me to do such a thing...

I have been seriously considering Cushman's suggestion regarding making some social interaction of my life as my art...of cos..this is nothing new in the art scene..or even..not new with what I always intended to do...I have concluded at the moment that olive boy is NOT YET a person I am utterly obssessed with for me to do such a thing...but...there is this ONE GUY back in singapore whom I always wanted to do a video about....but it will be a rather pyschopath and creepy thing to do...and would probably scare that guy off before he even want to tell me his name...and my frens has already branded me as a potential stalker ever since I told them about my idea...
But watever...I am too rational at the moment to do anything silly at the moment...at least not now...but that idea...will always be in my mind...until i find someone that I really want to do it with!!!!...I promise.

P.s/ No person was harm during my process of thinking.


200405

I am sick...

Yah.....I can feel it.....first of all...is my voice...I am losing it...and every word i tried to say become so hard that i have to use extra strength to project it...and than my tummy...I need the toilet...plus..my head...it aches...then....my hair...in a mess(erm..it is always in a mess but i tot the idea adds to the visual effect of my current condition)..and er...yah...I am NOT in my usual self today...I hope you get the point.

200405

I think..I am not in love..

I just like the idea that i like somebody...that is always the case for me. Everything is not real..and the only real thing is me...or maybe not even me.

190405

50 Days to degree show deadline!!!!!!!!!!

And I haven done anything!

Bright yellow...

Saw olive boy today...he was wearing a bright yellow wind breaker...yah..that's all about him today...and yah..I dun noe if he knows my name...couldn't remember if I ever told him...or dun noe if he would rememebr if i did told him....and so...yah..I dun noe...in fact...i dun noe his name...until i found out "accidentally" on the booking sheet of some school equipments...which I am not even sure if that is his name....

So..anyway...I am too shy to ask.

180405

That Thing You do...

Yah...that show...I remember was a BIG hit among us teenagers..when I was 17...and guys from other classes will act cool and form bands...to play the theme songs from the movie...me however..have only heard about the show and hear the songs...but never did watch that movie until yesterday....and OH!!!...that drummer is so cute!!!!!!...and SMAsHING!

I always like drummers...whenever there is a band...I will always notice the drummer first...I think they are the coolest....and I always have this fetish for guys who drums....ah.... although I am also mesmerise by guys who plays the piano or the guitar...they never hit a note in my heart like drummers did...setting pace in my heart...and so...yah...Drummers are number one!...

Then...I like the pianist and guitarist...I remmeber going to a bar with a fren and saw this guy playing the piano...and my best fren and I was like staring at him for the whole evening...while we will exchange hostile glances(my fren and I) becos we are eyeing the same guy...and we both concluded that if we are going to have sons in the future...we will definitely send him to learn piano....silly..but I am serious about this idea..really!

An what esle can i say about guys playing guitar...they just make a very beautiful image altogether...sight and sound entertainment...

And so...yah...I like guys who are musically incline...they just makes me feel very happy...i mean the music... of cos..The guy is a bonus which adds visual to the whole thing and adds to the beauty of it.


180405

Sunshine boy vs Olive boy (round 3)

Today is a big day for the student in GSA to go visit the Art scene pop Diva of the 80's...Barbera Kruger..if you can recognise her name...she is one the the prominent conceptual artist of the late 70's and 80's til 90's or even now...blah blah...she is not what i am going to discuss about in this entry though...yah..it is round 3 of sunshine boy vs olive boy today.


And so...I saw sunshine boy first. He was of cos with smile...but..ah...too many people around today...and he din smile at me...maybe becos he din see me...and most imptly...his girlfren was around...and so fair enuff...sunshine boy did not smile like sunshine today...however...I noticed...he was wearing olive green.


And then, olive boy...he was with a fren today...and he din see me...it was crowded...with at least 300 student....and he was...as far as i can remember wearing a dark coloured coat...and though he din smile at me...strangely...seeing him is as if seeing the sun shines...

And thus, today...no one wins...but weirdly...sunshine boy wears olive green and olive boy smile like sunshine...getting more and more confusing...

Sunshine boy vs Olive boy (Round 2)

Wednesday night event was yet another day for me..and today is happy day.

First, I met sunshine boy...he is talking his girlfren when i saw him, not smiling like sunshine todaybut i dun really mine......and so...i walk pass saying hi...and enter the lecture theatre...

Then, tO my surprise...there sits Olive boy...and he smiles like sunshine when i see him..."hi!"...he looks very happy to see me...strangely...maybe I look too happy to see him too. that's why...but watever...today is a happy day...happy enuff really.


And so...on wednesday night ...Olive boy win!

Just a survey...

If you have a choice to live in anywhere in this world...where do you want to live in and why?...put it in my comment boxes please...I would love to hear from anyone anywhere.

150405

How expensive can a tube of toothpaste cost me...?

Yah...how expensive can it be...It cost me more than 2 hours yesterday to decide which brand i want to buy...and I ended up buying nothing...becos i can't decide and the shop is closing.

This has got to be a problem. Although I got no idea what condition I am actually suffering from...I know this is not healthy. Perhaps due to the miserable pauper life that I had been living in for the past one and a half year...I never felt being more ill-treated by myself than any one time...that is becos..I should be able to afford that stupid tube of toothpaste now...but i couldn't make myself to buy it. I have become that stingy.

Well, my basic logic was...to get the cheapest....of cos that should be easy and plain enuff to follow...just check out the price and pay for the cheapest...how hard can that be?...then, the second senses come by and tell me..."girl..you can afford it now..dun be too hard on yourself and buy something better"..yah...so there is now a choice between...the 69pence,100g, housebrand toothpaste or the £2.49, 75g, Sensodyn(toothpaste for the sensitive teeth, mine is sensitive)...hard to decide...the thing about need and luxury...then there is this in between...the house brand toothpaste for sensitive teeth...ahhh...the best of all thing, cheap and essential....at £1.69 for a 75g....then there is another....choice...Colgate for sensitive teeth...cheaper than sensodyn...slightly more costly than house brand...and is only £2.39 for a 75g...blah blah....and the list goes on...there are at least 5 brands of toothpaste for sensitive teeth and more for the whitening...blah blah...this and dat...

I can't believe I am spoiled with choice now that I can afford it...I used to survive on leftover toothpaste from my friends who visited me in glasgow and left their toiletories before they leave...and i have been using all sort of weird brand from hotel package travel size toothpaste...Darlie...Fresh & bright...watever...and the last real tube of toothpaste I bought in Glasgow was "Smile"...which was a promotion pack..cost me £1.99 which comes with a mouth rinse of 200ml plus dental floss..which I tot was a real bargain...and I need to buy it anyway and has been hunting for one all over the city for the cheapest possible buy in town...at that time...toothpaste is just toothpaste. For sensitive...for whitening...for tar removing...for advance total dental protection...gum protection...mint flavour...special flavours..watever....I dun care..and is not interested.......

I dun noe if I want to call that a bliss when I can afford it finally but cannot decide which i should buy. MAybe part of it was precisely becos there is this bug in mind..."my past experience told me...my teeth is still bright regardless of what paste I use...and my teeth will probably still ache even if i use a sensitive toothpaste to brush my them."....so "why spend more when I can spend less"..haha..sounds like some commercial lines...I can't believe this can be such an issue..becos it is just toothpaste...And guess wat...just this morning...I have officially used up the last pea-sized of toothpaste that I could manage to squeezzze out of the corner of the tube of my toothpaste which I had been using..and by hook or by crook I got to buy one before i reach home tonight...and I hope I shall conclude with what I will buy evntually...well...if you think this is exciting...wait till i tell you about buying toilet rolls...but for now...I guess I have bored you enuff for the day.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

150405

Far far away...long long ago...

was talking to a fren in msn...about my primary school fren who passed away recently...the feeling is weird...becos It is like...so far far away...and long long ago for me....to remember him...and he will always be in every single one of us in our class's memory..
140405

The thing about music...

Yesterday...I was blissful enuff to leave school at 8pm...it was rare becos 8pm is usually the time I sell myself to money(working as waitress)..however this week due to the turn of events I got to enjoy the beautiful fact that I can be a full time student...sorry out of point...so let me continue with the story...I left the library at 8pm..while the sky is still bright...it is spring...then just beside the library...I heard some Jazz...LIVe hazz coming out from the student Cafe, we call it The VIC...nice music...really nice..and I can't help but to walk in...to my delight...the cafe was quiet(in the sense there isn't a lot of people around as I have expected) but Loud...becos of the live music...there is a stage...with 3 people on it...a gal playing the flute...a drummer(very very smashing!)...and a someone at the other corner which I couldn't see becos i was only by the entrance...maybe a base guitar or keyboardist...i am not good with recognising sound of instrument...anyway...yah...very nice music...I was tempted to stay...but I find it weird if I were to just sit down and not have a pint...everyone is after a drink...but I couldn't bear to feel alien if i am just sitting down to listen tothe music....in the end...i left the VIC...with my heart still drumming....Live music...I regreted but i have to leave...becos i dun feel comfortable enough to stay...dun have the courage.

130405

NO Picture NO Talk.

People has been trying to matchmake me off recently...as if ..if I dun find myself a boyfren...I will never ever find one.....or..maybe they really think this some guy out there is just for me...for example, YaHui, another of my best fren..she is obviously trying to sell me her boyfren's best fren to me...telling how good how attractive...blah blah...but..I have never see him..not even a pic...hard to imagine...a faceless person...like this...how good and how good...so legendary...even the hero of a romance story has a face...this person...YH's boyfren's best fren dun have. Then was JM...his polish room mate...faceless...again...whom JM rate him as 8 out of 10...in the end...my eagerness for a picture of this guy scare him away....he says he dun like desperate women...i dun like desperate man too...but if you dun show me a pic...i just cannot imagine. Then...Gerard..a fren of fren of mine...trys to matchmake me with an art scholar who is cute looking..blah blah..whom I think I know who is it...not bad...but with one single problem...I couldn't remember his face if I ever have meet him..i probably has heard of him many times becos singapore's art scene is really a small scence and everybody knows everybody....If only I could just have a picture of him...please. I cannot live in this kind of trauma when I had to undergo matchmaking without a picture. That should be the foremost important thing to take note of if you want to matchmake somebody with somebody...it is just too much to ask someone to imagine another person whom you describe as "cute"..."good-looking"..."charming"....give me a break, show me a pic!


P.s/..it may sound superficial that I look out for how a person look before even getting to know him....but as an artist...visual is a very important factor...I repeat..VISUAL IS A VERY IMPORTANT FACTOR...not that he has to look like brad pitt or george cloony...but i need to see a pleasant face first or I will get very distracted all the time....you know...like you see some colors not right on your canvas and you just cannot live with it. Hence...bottom line in line with my title( my habit of writing)..NO PICTURE NO TALK!

120405

On the move..

As far as I can remember...in my consious memory...my family had moved at least 5 times in my entire life...my mum would remember more..probably when I was a baby... and if you know how truamatising house moving can be...it always involve a lot of dumpings....and a lot things lost on the way...with each time our family moves...my mum throws away something from my thrash collection...until now...I am still bother that I cannot find my primary school year book...which I suspected it was thrown away mistakingly as old textbooks....or old magazine...and was upset i couldn't find my secondary school chinese essay exercise book...where I wrote the some of the few essays that I have been proud of...I remember I got an 80marks over a hundred for one particular one...when 78 is usually the highest we have heard of..and 80 is definitely rare...then...also...my JC notes...with my scribblings of poems all over corners of my economics notes.....such memories....and this time...they are moving again...and I suspect my mum can be merciless again...I dun what she can throw this time...but I know she had been careful these days...becos she knows how upset I can be...and not to mention...I cannot find all my 'O' level certs and 'A' level cert before I left singapore which i put them all in an envelope...(i hope it has not meet it's fate yet)..plus a lot of my other stuff, it is really not her fault becos I know I am quite icorrigible when it comes to organisation...which I will put it in a nice term call the 'chaotic order'....in chinese there actually has such a word for it called "乱中有序"....which means..."orders among the chaotic"...I has already pass down specific instruction to my family that I want all the stuff in my room to be INTACT...and to sum up..in order to threaten my mum and my brother , and my father not to try anything funny....I would like to declare my relationship with my properties....THEY DIE I DIE!

120405

NOT AT HOME

This is definitely a ground breaking news if not life changing...if you know what I meant when some people decides to sell all their properties and move to a new foreign land..my family just did that..or was about to. Their decision to move there was not sudden...but was sudden enough to shock friends and family..and then..how about me...I was stranded in a foreign land now..and by the time I graduate in two months time and go home...I probably will have no home to go back to....well it at least solve my blogging problem as cushman has reminded me with his comment....and yes to reply I will still blog...becos I will have no home to go back to when I go back to singapore...hence...still NOT AT HOME. What an irony(if I used this word correctly..JM,my fren thinks I dun noe what this word means)...when I can finally go home after my two years of sufferring in the foreign land...and find myself no home to go back to...then I will never be at home...becos there is none now. Guess I just have to make one...and call it a home...so that I will always be...AT HOME...but i just wonder when will that happen...ever?

120405

The health and safety check...

is annoying me..when people knocks on my door early in the moring....I was told about the health and safety check about a week ago...and was politely reminded by my landlady(landlord's mother) that we better keep our room nice and tidy...becos A LOT of people is going to go in and out of the room to check the sockets..power supply...smoke detector..fire alarm..watever you can think of to ENSURE WE DUN DIE IN THIS HOUSE....and so..it began with last week..it was a brief experience of less than 10 seconds...when a man come in one step into my room...extend a pole to the celling to test the smoke detector...working...THE END. It was a close call...becos my room at that time was , I had to admit in a mess...and when i say a mess I really mean a mess..and not trying to be humble or anything...Then it was this morning...another man...came in with a meter of some sort and checking out the currents from the sockets..blah blah..I am glad that I spent the weekend doing a little spring cleaning and throw away 2 bags of thrash...plus do a bit of laundry..plus..a little sorting out of my stuff...sweeping the carpet..blah blah..and though it was still NOT VERY NEAT AND TIDY...it has been the best condition so far...in my room for the past 3 months....then...the landlord came in...with the electrician..and left my room saying,"shiah...you better clear up ur room before my mother sees it...she will freak out...".I get his point....it is a good thing my landlady just drops by occassionally..she can be particular...but my landlord is ok with watever....but then...i was rather unhappy with my landlord's comment becos......(a) I obviously have already tried to clear up...not that I have finish...but I never finish clearing up in my life...and (b) just last week he saw my room...and i told him I will try to clear up..and he said it was ok....he dun mind. Of cos I cannot blame him...he had responsiblity to ensure health and safety in this building. What can I say...I hope I can go home soon and answer to nobody.

120405

784533 vs 763092

These are not pairs of numbers you can easily remember unless you have very good reasons like they are numbers that represent your another half whom your are born to search for. If you have watched the movie called “turn left; turn right”..you would noe what this pair of numbers means....As some people may believe that a person is born into this world in search of their another half. And the story goes...boy meets girl, lost contact..and meet again finally ...the end...it was the simplest plot...but the most difficult....yet the most romantic....The movie was inspired by the illustration of a Taiwanese illustrator and the book itself is good enough. The movie...slightly disappointing. And yes, I am giving a movie critic at the moment though it was a little late becos this was a movie I missed watching 2 years ago..however, never too late...thanks to wendy, I watched the movie finally 2 years later... If the best ever movie is rated 10 then this is only 5.5 or to be generous 6. First of all, credits are given to a certain degree of faithfulness to the original story by the illustrator, Jimmy. If you are a fan of his illustration...you probably want to watch this show and see how much the director can brought to life of his work. Hence, and precisely of this reason...I gave a 5.5 rating. Becos of anticipation...this work is disappointing. Though I have to admit the music and characters in the movie did give it another life to the story..but it was a different life...something was lacking...the simplicity of the simple plot was missing... . But then, there is a difference between ratings and “value for money”....this show..is best buy for all the ladies..100%. money back guarantee...if you like Takeshi Kaneshiro...he is that kind of guy you would love to be searching for your whole life..and wished that he is the another half of you whom you have been searching for...since you were born...and you know what, me too.

110405

Poles Affinity

Poles affinity...sounded science...like chemistry or physics or some mathematics I am going to discuss today..indeed...this topic needs a lot of chemistry to happen..oh yah..and very physics..when it comes to forces of attraction...and definitely mathematic simply with the probability of one thing meeting another from this world..it is like a chance out of millions millions...even more slimmer than the £43million lotteryto occur....that is..Poles Affinity..and that happens to me recently

It happens when something struck me while I was watching the VCD that Wendy sent me, “Turn left, Turn Right.” ...about what has been happening to me..about who are being mention and appeared over and over again in my life recently...the Poles, Polish...people from Poland, as if they meant something to me.

The weirdest connection I have connected so far... I see the connection, observe this phenomenom, .draw the links whatever you can describe and made my conclusion...maybe you might categorize this as yet another of my fantasy or I am imagining things...but I am sure I am receiving some sort of hint...definitely..some sort of signal to show that there is something going on in my life as I couldn’t use a better word than the following to describe it, I call it, “Poles Affinity”


ONE

Obviously, the polish people whom I have been living with for the past few months...my polish neighbours...they are not one or two of them...I suspect at least 2 families of poles are sharing the same roof as me...perhaps 6 or 7 or more...I dun noe exactly who and how many but I know they are there...becos they dun speak English. but I can hear them everyday. We share the same bathroom...where I can smell their burnt out cigarettes butts beside the toilet bowl.....breathe in the same air from the corridor and leave the house by the same door.. and have the same key to open it...of all the people...why not a Scottish?..an English?..a Chinese?...Singaporean and Polish.....affinity...


TWO

The Pope..the beloved...not my beloved but the polish...has been the focus of all media regardless which channel I tried to escape to...hence had to surrender to the fact that whichever channel I watch, it will remind me that he is a polish...affinity?


THREE

This only happens days ago or maybe just last week...my fren JM ask me if I am interested in Polish and had a cute polish room mate to introduce to me....and as usual, I will give the “fanatically-desperate-respond-to-any-possible-cute-guy-living-on-earth-like-the-last-man-I shall-ever-met” and literally begs JM to email me a pic of this guy IMMEDIATELY...I managed to scare him off..while I was just trying to be funny...as expected , I was flatly rejected...by that art critic polish cute guy even before meeting him or see his face...becos he thinks I am too desperate...fair enuff...but what struck me was...another polish...affinity..???!?


FOUR

The VCD arrive only this morning and I opened it....it was from my best fren wendy...she sent me yet another scarfs and yet another watch, and yet another cute hangphone danglings...I say “yet another” becos these are not the first time she sent me the same type of stuff which she would sent me...I loved them becos, I collect scarf and I obviously need them, given the horrible weather here... and I am in need of watch, becos the one I am wearing now was a gift from her for my last birthday and I dun noe how long it can last me...and the handphone danglings are never enuff...you just keep adding to ur mobiles and makes dingling noise with them when you bring them everywhere..I like them...to cut my story short as I will go on and on without touching the main point of the story....she sent me the VCD.. “Turn Left, Turn Right” about the story of two people who are fated but never seem to meet each other...like they are always around at the same place....but cannot see each other...the saddest demonstration of affinity...and the most painful...and the whole story.....a hong kong-singaporean production, story based on a Taiwan illustrator’s work...with a Japanese-taiwanese male lead and hong-kong female lead.....with the whole show....linked by ...a poem...written by a poet who is a...you guess it?....POLISH...??!!!...yes...yet again ...polish..affinity.


FIVE

Just as I was utterly overwhelmed by the various polish happening in my life...whom are all the polish who suddenly sprung out in my life out of nowhere..while I only heard of Poland when I study in Secondary Two doing my history project about Hitler and WW2...or occasionally heard jokes about the people from Polands are called the polish...other than that...NEVER EVER...have I heard of Poland or poles or polish since.
Then with these string of event, I check out my Britannica on my laptop for a little more information of Poland...and right before my eyes..I see a Poland flag...and my jaw dropped....it was an inverted Singapore flag without the stars and cresent.... white and red....“Poles..apart”...literally inverted?...attracted?....speechless...polish ?affinity.?



Finally, to conclude.....please see my title in great appreciation as I am amused by how I can see the like even with this silly title i make out casually....my title.. “poles affinity”..it means...poles with a double meaning(obviously..) poles as in polish...and poles as in opposite poles(which attracts..is this by the way physics??!) and ......affinity: an attraction forces between ..attracts to , liking...watever... .if you know what I mean.

120405

That is how desperate...

yes...how desperate I am to go home...I have been checking out fligts to go home last weeks and had a pleasant conclusion that the cheapest i can find is cheaper than I have expected...ONE-WAY ticket...yes...if i am rich enuff..this is the time.

110405

If you happen to be a polish...can you help me translate the following...

"Please be informed that the walls in this building are not sound-proof."
Yes...I would like to put a note on my door in the hope to "communicate" with my neighbours who dun understand english...to inform them of this terrible news...and..if they have nice and peaceful sleep at night most of the time...that is becos the rest of us had been very considerate...not that the place is sound proof in case they dun noe. Maybe,...they really have no idea that they are being heard...but then again...nobody noes what they are talking about becos they speaks in polish...and i am not interested really...I just need some sleep. Thanks!


110405

And the winning numbers are....

7, 11, 25, 31, 50....lucky stars..1 and 3.
If you have got an Euromiliion lottery ticket with the above numbers dated 8th April 05...then...you are the lucky winner of the BIGGEST EVER EuroMillion lottery Rollover...of £43Million!!!!!!!!! I spent my 7th April very happy just with the thought of "maybe i am the one"..doing my window shopping with the mentality of "ok..if i win..I am going to buy this shoe size 37 all 3 colours...plus this skirt..and that...and this...ah..I love this...oh...I like dat..."...though in the end..I went home with a shopping bag of 8 rolls of toliet rolls which is only what i can afford and had to buy...and none of the above mentioned this-and-that, I am happy enuff...the tot of it..is the happiness i have felt...and that is what I call hope. Hope can be a powerful thing...though the next morning...i was disappointed that NONE of my numbers matched...I am glad I went for that window shopping therapy....better than nothing.

110405

Headlines of the day...

Farewell Pope...yes, live coverage...more than 5 millions people sending him off...big funeral...and the part i am most impressed...is the humble wooden coffin he lies in...hope he rest in peace although I may not have agree to some of his believe. Again...this incident has informed me of certain things that i am not aware of for my whole life...an informative journey...as the media blast us over and over again with the life of the POPE everyday...I now know that the Pope is polish...and Poland used to be a communist country and also now know that Roman catholic oppose abortion and use of condom....plus the pope is a well-travelled man...blah blah...i guess he had live well for his life..I would conclude that i admire him in some sense...not for the religion part...for the fact he live his live with a passion till he dies...to me..he is an artist.


Farewell Rover...yes..MG-Rover..the car company which 6000 livelihood had depended on in longbridge of Uk has annouced it's end yesterday evening when their proposal of a joint-venture with the shanghai company was rejected. The Tv broadcaster made the comment of the whole thing sound as if it was the chinese at fault for the end of the british car empire...he said something like " Rover fail to savage the company becos of the chinese..."...??!!?... and the whole story is...Rover is already in serious financial debt plus plunge of sales...and is hoping that a joint-venture with the Shanghai company will save the company, unfortunately becos of Rover finanicial status, ...the chinese conpany will only agree to the partnetship if the UK govt is willing to give a loan to the company for this joint-venture as a sign to support the "fact" that rover still has the credible status for a partnership...meanwhile the UK govt insist that they will only approve the loan if MG-rover can confim their deal with the chinese...so...in the end...END of story. I was pissed off by the fact the the media makes it sound as if it was the chinese fault that Rover face closure..and the chinese were to be blame...they commented that Tony Blair actually make a 25 minutes overseas call to the premiere of china for the deal and the reply from the chinese premiere was (in singaporean term) " NO money no talk"....I was angry with the way the media put this whole issue in..yet..i am secretly smiling becos of my superiority complex of being a chinese...finally...being a chinese is not about having a coolie ancester...but a deciding factor of the world's economy...and to speak a fair word for china....this deal...was a failure becos MG-rover fail to convince neither the UK-govt nor the chinese...hence if the Shnaghai company were to be blame...I dun see why the UK-govt should be spare the responsiblilty...and finally...if you were the chinese...would you agree to an oversea business deal when you know ur business partner is not capable of even securing a loan from his own country...we chinese are not stupid!

080405

The reasons why i dun see my neighbours around lately...

usually....my neighbours will blast their hi-fi ...playing the usual "out of reach" from Bridget jone diary soundtrack...and vacumm their carpet at the same time...waking me up from my slumbers on sunday morning....but last sunday..it was peaceful and quiet...for the whole day. then..it was peaceful and quiet for the next and the next until today...still dead quiet..and you know what...i dun see them around either..and then...I realise...it is becos of the pope. My neighbours are polish...I should have see the links...they went back to Poland to pay their last respect...no wonder it has been quiet. Hence, I would like to thank the pope for my peace and quiet for the past few days, he is a nice man.

060405

It's cold...it's really cold...

It's cold...it's really cold....out there...i walk out of the school library and immediately change my plan of wherever i plan to go..becos I just want to go home....with this kind of weather...everyone would only want to go home. To further illustrate why...I start with the people i see on the streets...there was this girl cuddling herself up in the wind...and her legs...if you can see what i saw...were like frozen meat in the freezer...purple and bloodless...i can see that becos she is actually daring enuff to wear a mini skirt without stockings...but she cannot be blame becos...spring is not suppose to be like winter. I hung my heavy-duty winter bubble jacket up finally in the wardrobe last week becos i was utterly convince that spring has arrived when the temp reach 16 degree last week...It is cold not becos it is cold...but becos it is not suppose to be cold and yet is cold...it should be spring yet the cold still lingers around like winter....it is cold becos people think is spring and wear less..becos they think is spring now and they switch off the heaters...it is cold becos spring should not be winter....finally to sum up my blog today with the weatherman opening speech which i heard when i reach home and switch on my TV to watch BBC weather report....he says, " WINTER BITES BACK!".

060405

Sunshine boy VS Olive boy

Yes...i met them both today coincidently.


Remember that guy whom I mention ages ago in my blog who smiled like a sunshine...whose girlfren is my classmate...I saw him outside the school today while walking pass the bus stop... it is holiday now and no one is usually at school...while i walk pass the bus stop becos i happen to went to china town to buy stuff which is near the school...the small back door of the school opens and he walk out wheeling his bicycle...ah...nice...I always fancy guys who ride a bicycle...reminds me of the hongkong movie by leon lai and maggi chang...with the theresa teng's theme song....and I remember being able to ride a bicycle is one of the prerequisite for being my boyfren...I remember...
As usual...he smile at me...with sunshine.


And this guy whom I meet in EMA and later in my work place to celebrate his birthday in checkered shirt and olive green sweater...yeah...saw him in the library...smile at each other on the way...then..when i left the library...he was outside unlocking his bicycle lock going to leave...HOW COME ALL THESE CUTE GUYS RIDE A BICYCLE!.....we smile at each other again...and when i walk pass him...he asked if i am still working in that restaurant...i told him i quit becos of miserable pay and working elsewhere now...but goes back to therestayrant for the good food which reminds me of home...we part and say see you later...with a smile.


And so...sunshine boy vs olive boy....nobody wins...or..if anyone did. It's me. :)

050405

Finally...I realise the difference...

I have been reading my friend LW and JM's blog and realise what they had in common and why I am different. Their blog are full of reference from friends about them. Like how they react to their friend reaction of them in some or many occassion. For me, I seem to be more of a self-obsessed brat living in the world I live in with no one talking to me. Strangely, i seem pathetic..and friendless. Or maybe I just dun want to portray myself in my blog as how other see me but who I am with how I feel for the world i live in. I hope I make sense with what i am saying...

But to make a contrary occassionally, I will like to respond to a comment my landlord make last week about me...he said'" Shiah, you should be a nun"...indeed...in terms of lifestyle...I seem to be a boring person to many people in UK... though i have been very lenient in my many other aspects of life. I dun like to go out and stay at home if i can...or go to school...or else it is work work and work. I dun drink coffee..dun like chocolate dun like coke or pepsi...hate to smoke and dun join social gatherings in school. I am practically a loner....maybe i did give up a lot of so-called luxury in life for some stupid ambition that is taking me to no where. But I believe in balance in life. The zen of it is that you give something you take something....Though like JM...although I am heading to something so abstract...I think i know what I want...or maybe..I know what I dun want. Maybe I am a nun in some way...but what's wrong with it... What's makes people think that being a nun is so negetive...I am sure nuns are also happy beings just like you and me.

060405

Reincarnated.

My nickname online was reincarnated blah blah...and my fren ask me if i just die recently...which makes sense becos i need to die first before i reincarnated. This puts me in thought....i felt reincarnated becos i of a news from home that relief me of all the suffering for the past one year and a half year...i din die...but i got a new status. I still feel reincarnated...but I din i die at any point...dying probably. So I was wondering...maybe i did die very long time ago which i din realise...watever...to complicated.

050405

Never Judge a Book By It's Cover

Lesson 1

There is a type of people in Glagow we call them NEDs(Non-educated-deliquent), which in Singaporean term we call them Ah Beng,Ah Seng (for boys) and Ah Lian Ah huey(for girls)...and so they was this two NED sitting next to me in a bus stop ...in their usual trademark sportwear baseball cap fashion....swearing at a rate of 4 foul words per 6 words sentence...creatively fully exploit the usage of the F-word with his heavy glaswegian accent while happily talking to another NED...and so I try to sit further away from him in case i get into his way and get into trouble..it was a peaceful afternoon....then from the other end of the road...I saw an elderly crossing the road...with one hand full of shooping bag and the other on a crutch...walking in difficulty and trying very hard to cross the road...for me...with the fullest sympathy...i just look and feels worry...and just at this split moment...that mouth swearing NED stand up and run across in no time and put his hand over the elderly and led him to cross the road...stopping the passing traffic with his other signalling hand... and even help the old man get up the bus....when the bus arrive...i was IMPRESSED!...and feels utterly ashame that i will never do such a thing....while the NEDs were constantly being critisised and discriminated by the public for being anti-social and annoying...this NED...is what i would describe as kind-hearted though mouth-swearing....Hence..the lesson for the day...never judge a book by it's cover...and a person by it's look.

this happen quite some time ago and i remember it becos of the next incident i am going to talk about...


Lesson 2


This man..dressed up in suits well shaved and well mannered...with smile and very polite when he entered the restaurant...ordered a few bottles of budweisers with another friend and they start eating buffet in the restaurant i worked in...everything is fine....until he finish his meals and go to the loo...my fren waited at the counter by the door for him to come out to settle his bill...meanwhile his fren was still seated.then...the moment arrive when that well-dressed man walk out of the loo...walking towards the cashier calmly...while his fren stands up and walk towards the door...his fren walk out of the door first...and then...that man...dash past the cashier and RUN AWAY!......together with his fren...my colleague gave chase but they ran really fast and lost sight...and so my story ends with yet another lesson learnt for the day....Never judge a person by his good looking suit...and to end this chapter...please pardon me for the following words...THOSE BASTARDS!

Lesson 3

I didn't notice this guy at all...obviously who looks very common and not attractive...then he paid and walk out of the restaurant while i also went out of the restaurant to help a handicapp lady set up her wheel chair(one of our regular customers)...we had a bit of problem opening up the wheel chair while we (the lady and me) struggle to force open the chair...that guy...who was about to walk away...saw us in trouble and came to help us...and finally we found that a shopping bag was stuck in the seat that cause all the problem...the lady thank me and him...while he just smile and walk away....this guy...not very attractive and handsome...yet have a heart of gold....which i have no way to noe that unless he shows me...so...the lesson I learnt...Never judge a person by it's look...not good looking doesn't mean dun have a heart of gold....

010405

Crap school..

It is perhaps a bit too late to regret studying in this school afterall i am going to graduate soon...but i would like to warn whoever is planning to study in UK....DON'T ever believe their promise for good facilities.....I have suffer a lot becos of the bad facilities,,,plus...i have to pay 4 times as much school fees as i am an oversea student...just NOT worth it.....or maybe i am just too demanding....but i thought i have the right to be....becos i worked very hard to pay all the fees and all i get is this.....ahh watever....

100 DAYS TO DEGREE SHOW!!!!!!!!

090305

I wish i wish....

1. I wish I struck the first prize in lottery.
2. I wish the sale of my house is done with a good prize.
3. I wish I can graduate with at least a 2-1 degree.

090305

Fallen angel...

I fell from the sky 1 minute ago....when i was told that the good news is a false hope at the moment...and just have to keep waiting....until heaven opens the door again for me...

090305

A piece of heaven...

I received a piece of good news yesterday that is comparable to heaven...which makes me sleep very well and smiled all day for no apparent reason...oh...er...for this reason...and this makes me feel stronger and healthier...with better appetite....ahh....everything is just like the weather.....the long awaited SPRING....nice warm and sunny...with a little bit of drizzle...

080305

PISSED OFF!!!

Cannot find a better word to describe the feeling when i saw my two rolls of slides turning into blank rolls....when i collected then last friday. Issit my camera, or my fault...I am not interested at all actually....becos i am simply pissed off for spending £20 plus in all to produce nothing.... I know nobody believe this...but £20 is alot of money to me...i sacrifice my 3 months of daily spendings for art...and i get nothing.


070305

The mystery of the dimishing dimples...

The one thing that i am proud of about my face is my dimple...any other features on my face can be ignore actually...but recently i have gain weight...and my dimples are disappearing...TO MY HORROR!...my conclusion is...I have grown fat ...and the fats around my face muscle has cause the strain causing difficult to my face muscle to push further to create the usual dent....bottom line is...I need a diet.

070305

Things I hate about my flatmate..blah blah...

I have been following this blog of late...
www.ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com
funny and ironic...keeps me entertained.

070305

The weather report...

"The weather is beginning to look a bit more like spring finally..." said the weatherman from BBC news yesterday...indeed...it is suppose to be spring now...and yes...finally it is behaving properly...flowers are growing happily...and leaves are sprouting...but we never know...when it will go haywire again....just have to be glad that the sun shines today.

070305

In bad shape.

I am convinced that i have become very unhealthy lately.
I knew this when my lecturer and me walk out the the school building together and ended up 50 metres behind her after walking up some steps and up the slope towards the library....the worse part was...despite the fact that I was already walking too slowly....i was panting...like I have done a 2.4KM run....something is not right...I need to do something.

070305

Shit mood...

yah...very restless today.

040305

Friday...

This has been my greatest guilt for only attend ONE friday event out of my one and a half year of study in Glasgow....I NEVER manage to wake up...and the one and only time i went...was becos i had a tutorial before that in the morning at 10am...hence after the thing i just went...which i was late...and falls asleep halfway...I believe in fate...and i think this is fate. Today is Friday....despite the fate that i set my alarm to 10am...i went back to sleep.

040305

Fate...

Fate brought me to this very beautiful music....which I downloaded from a blog...which i chanced upon while reading a comment made by this blogger on another blogsite...and so...it was fate.

Or else this melody will never be in my mind right now....

030305

Time flys...

Yah...I am in the EMA for around 2 hours and time flys...and every shop will be closed by 5pm...and school will be closed...EMA people will chase me away like the library janitor...and i had to go home...and be alone again...though I am alone here as well...i now someone is online somewhere...at home...i talk to only my self...i amuse only myself...and here...i can talk to the "world" even if no one is listening....ohh...how ironic...maybe i should just talk and amuse myself...in which the rate is 100% audience and respond.....

by the way...I hate school at the moment...hate hate hate.


030305

Just not confident enuough to do it....

So many things i wanted to do but dun noe how...very tired in fact....for pursuing...and most of the things...I just dun have the confident to do it...and I dun want to in the end....


This is again...fate.

030305

The poor flowers on the street...

There are sprouting....finally ....in the middle of the bushes...little purple and yellow flowers.....which means...spring is on the way...but alas...they must be really confused now by the fact the indecisive winter cannot make up it's mind to go away or to give a last few blast...really...I am confuse too...when i thought spring is coming....i heard the weatherman on TV said that "winter has not been more prominent than now..."...so what now?...I can't believe it is still bloody winter now..!!!!

030305

Out-dated old woman...

25 years and few days old....I feel even older and out-dated when i was browsing through the blogs...past by this even though not very visually stunning blog...but is amazed by the music background..and moving "texted" cursor...with today's date swirling around whenever i move my cursor...I noe it is nothing new...and probably something you can download for free online....but ..something that I am really not very familiar with...and on top of that...it was a 12 year old's blog...12 year old...younger than my age divided by 2....so...is it too late I am doing things like this now...should i be born later than I should....?...although I dun regret...being born as I was...as if i have a choice...

030305

Ahhh...chooo!

Yah...I just sneezed...someone just misses me.


020305

Happy?...or pissed off...?

I am late today for the website making workshop...and guess wat...I am the first to arrive...and also the last. I happen to be the only one who is present for the workshop...and the workshop is cancelled....I am a bit happy by the fact that I suddenly has two hours of free time...but pissed off because...despite my attendance which i suspect I have been the only one who has the full attendance....the workshop did not go on....I wonder how will I ever learn this....I hate this...


020305

I am feeling fine.

Recently...i have been feeling fine. Fine as in fine. I managed to come out with yet another piece of artwork lately and was surprised that critics are good....though not many people really did see it.....wanted to get away with my silly working life...and is determine to end the working trauma after the easter break.

240205

Snow like hell....

snow like hell yesterday...a dramatic sight indeed....but was so beautiful that i actually dun mind the freezing temperature at all....so beautiful...so...disturb looking..i mean the snow...while people will usually expect snowing to be peaceful and calm..the snow is "frantic" yesterday....ahh...i like lor...i just like it.

230205

When the world is so big...

When the world is too big and life too short...it is sometimes hard for us to adjust to this fact especially when we are heading towards an end...every second....but then ...just as you thought that there are still plenty of life ahead...it can end suddenly. This is not a sucidal post i would like to assure everybody...just some thoughts after i watch the show "six feet under". People will die when it is time...

150205

Where are my references?

My tutor pressed me about my references.....and her logic is I can't be making things out of vacumm...there must be something that makes me want to do something....some souce of inspiration...what makes me make a decision for making my art work in the way i make it....there must be a reference.....er...excuse me...i dun understand. I felt like crying when i wanted to tell her...the motivation behind why i want to make such works is really becos of my realisation in my life...and i want to express it....must there be a reference for my realisation...i mean...i dun realise what other is realsing...i realise things myself....becos no one shares my life except myself.... So she gave an example that it can be literature...or music...or art...I am confused...becos i dun see and link to what i read and like...to the work i do....seriously. Th reason why i choose to use text or installation...is becos I am aware that it is a recognise form of art...and how am I aware of that...since long long ago...i read a lot of magazine and know that installation is a form of art. Do I have to reference that and say why i choose to make installation...? Then does painters have to justify why they paint? Maybe I should have inform them I used to be a ballet dancer...e-hu performer, scriptwriter, actress...painter...sculptress....poet...writer....before i tell them I choose to use installation as an expression...than do i have to explain to them...i am also a very emotional person....so..it makes me see things like how i see them...then I told her about this website that i like a lot....obviously she dun noe about the website...and so...who shall i reference....from the first person that inflence me....i cannot imagine what she will thing if i tell her...i like paul klee....and then i like Mark Rothko...then i like Eva Hesse, and Nara Yoshitomo...then I will tell her...I like www.nobodyhere.com....and books written by Jimmy, a taiwan illustrator...then i like Wong Kar wai's movie...and The French Movie Amelie.....i wonder if that helps to shape things....but i suspect they know none of them...so why am I mentioning these?...and so....I dun noe if this is even logical in the first place to state them as my reference....and maybe....everything I see makes an impression...and they turn out to be what they are like today...do I have to include my diving experiences...as well as...my travelling....i really dun noe...the reasons for why i am doing what I am doing right now...is becos I thought that is the thing I want to do ...and that is it...if i am researching into things now...trying to back myself up for what i did...then that is not what influence me....but what I thought might have influence me...after my work is done and i go reserch for a reference...then in that case....that will not be my reference in the end...if you know what i mean...some of the work...which i tot is interetsting and i find similarity...are not the works that i actually refered to when i did my work...and how can i say they are my reference when i only know about them when i finish my work.....i really dun noe what to say....I just hate to address this issue...SERIOUSLY....I HATE IT!...and I am angry.

Chinese New Year...

Today is the first day of chinese new year....and everything is suppose to be happy and bright....supposed to be...

yah...and hopefully it will be.


090205

Weeping Willow...

I am in tears again....this time while chatting with my brothers.....knowing the condition of my family is getting from bad to worse only means I have to work harder. But somehow...I realise when times are too good...I am rather unproductive in my artwork...maybe the bad times is a good thing....which also means I might go home sooner than expected....becos i dun want to travel with the money any more how can I when my whole family is in such heavy debts....good and bad...Hopefully....someone will buy our house and solve everything!
But that would mean....I will have no "home" to go back to by the time I graduate....they are going to live in Thailand after selling the house...with my brother in ChiengMai...
what am I supose to wish for now....to strike the lottery?

030205

Aging...

I feel old lately...flabby arms....sagging thigh muscles...wrinkling face...droopy breast ....everything seems old in me....weakening heart...what an old lady.

No offence.

I was browsing other people's blog and felt the urge to comment.....i am not that kind of people who say nice words when i dun want to....I just say what i want to say...hence...i probably might have offence people in the process....in case any of you check me out because i say something that annoyed you in my comments about ur posting.....my apologies for being rude and incabaility to say something nice...and I promise next time...i will try to keep those comments to myself...if i can.

030205

Cherie Amour...

means dear love....ahh such a nice discovery for the day.

030205

My Cherie Amour

La la la la la la, la la la la la la

My cherie amour, lovely as a summer day
My cherie amour, distant as the milky way
My cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I’ve been near you, but you never noticed me
My cherie amour, won’t you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la la la

Maybe someday, you’ll see my face among the crowd
Maybe someday, I’ll share your little distant cloud
Oh, cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la la la


Stevie Wonder

( I heard this song on several occassion...and like it a lot....did a fruitless search online and my friend found the song title, the artist and the lyrics in less than 30 second....thanks pal!)

030205

"Green tea keeps you going"

Says an aritcle...."Green tea could become the drug of choice for atheletes, now that green tea extract (GTE) has been shown to help boost endurance. Drinking four cups a day could help peopel to do nearly 25% more excercise before exhaustion sets in, according to a paper in an American Physiological Society journal."..

I realise this long ago...and drink up to at least 4 cups of green tea...when I am struggling with projects and had to stayed overnight....it always keeps me awake for at least 30 hours.......the power to keep awake...can you imagine...!

030205

More than coincidence...

Just last week...my landlord James ask me if I am fine with what is going on the apartment...and i say I am ok....he give me that "really?!" look....and yes...i am really ok...and he said "tough girl!"....I am puzzled...what did I have to endure I wonder for him to say that....the water heaters in the bathroom is working my room is warm...electrical appliance is working...water is suppying fine...lightbulb shines.......neighbours might be noisy but dun really hear them when the door is close....and .i couldn't be bother about what is going on wih my neighbours...and their activities...in fact I have got absolutely no idea what is going on....like i care... dun have the time....so...maybe I am really missing something that is going on out there...I wonder what is it that James is refering to that might have bothered me....the only thing...however that did bothers me...is this.

If it is once or twice...I will call it coincidence....afterall, more than five of us share this facilities...but it happens at least 3 times a day, in fact almost everytime...since Monday...and it PISSED ME OFF!...That is...someone is hogging the bathroom!!!! or maybe this person just had the same freqency as me in terms of visiting the loo...3 to 4 times a day!!?!....everytime I grab my toilet rolls and head for the loo....the door is closed...must be the same person...i suspect always the same person...and must be a guy...becos the toilet seats are up...or...windows are open (probably smoking and shitting at the same time), why dun he bring the newspaper along...., thanks a lot....and it hits me like a car on the road every time i saw the already ocuppied loo.....excuse me, it is winter now.....too much bladder control is really not somthing healthy....arrgh....of cos...he din always win...i did happen to be quicker for a few instance and manage to get the "seat" first...but...rate is only 2 out of 10, when i actually heard someone pacing outside the toilet and gone back the room.....and the other 8 times....i have to wait! ...This is really my only complain about my accommodation...the other things like...din really bother me much...

030205

It's gonna be another day in the sunshine...

Glasgow has been acting weirdly of late...i mean the weather...it is incredibly sunny....so good that the weather report lady on the news actually said this...."Glasgow is the only place in UK with lots of sunshine now...in fact..7 hours of it for the whole day"....considering that it is winter now...it only means...the sun really shines...and it has been sunny since...monday...or maybe earlier...saturday?...watever...it has been too sunny.....but temperature actually drops...becos of the lost of clouds in the sky....hence...freezingly sunny?...get it?....ahh....this kind of weather ...

020205

Smile...

Smiling isn't suppose to be difficult...but to me...it is actually tedious to even move my face muscle to create a superficial curve on my face that looks like a smile....how pathetic.

280105

Something happy...

Yesterday...I met an unexpected friend...who is actually a friend's friend whom we had dinner together in a dinner party almost a year ago....i forget his name but i remember his face...he is the dentist guy who study in glasgow and i thoght he graduted and went back to singapore last year...which is why i am surprise to see him...he came to the restarant i worked in for dinner...ahh...this restarant i worked in seems to be a place where i meet a lot of friends...anyway...yah...this dentist friend...he is now working here in glasgow...after he graduate....and i like the thought of it...not as if we are very good friends...as we really hardly know each other really...just like the idea that someone is there....though i also met a lot of singaporean people in the restaurant i worked in....the rest are horrible.
So yah...quite happy to see him, really.

270105

Difficult Task

One.

Wake up in the morning. This is really difficult..and is not easy since I was kid which explains why i am always late for school. Recently, it has become more difficult when I have to work so late.

Two.

Sleep early...working late is already problematic...and yet..i cannot sleep the moment i reach home...I somehow need time to chilled out for a few hours before i can sleep...which will be 5am by the time i am ready for bed...not helpful when i have to wake up at 8.30am in the morning.

Three.

Do my art...extremely difficult. Without money and time...everything becomes almost impossible. I dun even want to talk about it. But had to face it. How can I find art making difficult...I never did.

270105

This Time of the Year...

As i was walking home alone in the middle of the night at 12am yesterday....i suddenly stopped...becos my tears are falling...and then it started to stream...the warm tears chilled out as it slide down my face...and makes it neccessary to wipe away from my face becos it will make my face freeze when the wind blows on the wet skin....
This is the time fo the year where I will become very weak and weepy....the depression state..which is very normal in my working cycle...becos i sort of enjoy this despression occasionally....however it is not doing any good to solve my situation...and i hate this... only makes me feel useless anmd helpless which i dun like the tot of it.
Finally, I have made up my mind NOT TO STUDY MFA after my BA...as if i have a chance to get the offer...i cannot even be sure if my results are good enuff to do MFA in the first place...the studying part is really killing my passion for art practice...the more i spend my money on school fees...the more i hate myself for choosing this path. What am I doing.
270105

The Truth About Being An Artist

This is all an illusion. The truth about being an artist is really not what people think. Especially when freedom is concern, a poor artist do not have any priviledge to the so called freedom everybody thought we have. Of course, we need to have the same definition of what freedom is...in this case freedom is not to worry about having a roof over the head, have no problems paying bills and do watever they like. I hope that is simple enough. But even this basic requirement is almost too hard to achieve... My only regret now is to study overseas....not that the experience is not beneficial....but the amount of time spend on earning school fees is ridiculous...and i wonder if i am really studying here....so what is the point...i really do not know. And after this...is probably a life of writing proposal...for fundings....making art is not a cheap hobby....maybe being an artist is really not what i want....i guess...if i dun want anything...life will be easy...easier i mean. But since i have started it...I got to finish it.

270105

Spilt personality....

yah...the two fo me is working hand in hand again...as the pissed off version of me is typing my frustration in my blog....the happy-natured version of me is chatting happily with liwei at the same time...it might sound freaky but...it just happen....i weep and type "haha"online..when neccessary....somehow...i manage to do it.

I am not usually that weepy.

I was in tears when i had the assessment feedback today, perhaps it is the not so good results i have for this term...which is not really the reason why...part of it definitely is the spark for the flooding of tears... it started with .... the part where my tutor remarks about the not sufficient evidence of research and critical awareness of contemporary art practice. There is a difference between you dun know and you dun show. Like doing problem sums in mathematics....you dun get marks for not showing your workings. that is my problem. ...while this problem leads me to another problem....producing the research evidence...which....leads to another topic....MONEY! A good research portfolio is backed up by money...printing of stuff in the library needs moeny....developing photos need money.....even buying a folder needs money. which i wonder how i should do it...given the fact that i cannot even afford tospent £1 on 4 rolls of toilet papers....i actually already spent £6.38 last week just to develop photos for docunmentation of my work....which is like 4 weeks of my daily expenses....i cannot imagine how much a research folder will cost me....i dun want to think....everything is in pounds and penny now in my head....like NEO in the matrix....zeros and ones....you start to see the codes of things....of cos...another problem is time....i have to work to pay for my fees...or else i cannot continue...but working will give me less ime to do my school stuff...and in terms harms my art practice...but then again...if i am going to work less...how on earth will i have money to even print a piece of paper from the library...everything cost money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!than all the problems start to flodd my head.....and the fustration of things get over me...especially when i talk about my phobia in technology....it is actually the frustartion for working in school within limited time....which is not very accomodative.....to my work time...money money money...it all goes down to one thing....money.
i just kept weeping and weeping and weeping as my lecturers continue to finish reading the comments on the assessemnt feedback....while i made some sobby weepy respond which i can hardly heard myself.....and i told them i am just frustrated with the technical disability i had with computers which i lied....i actually wanted to tell them...i dun have money to print things. They will not believe me if i say this. Then when my tutors ask me if i have got any other problem other school work....i just tell them frankly...financial problem....yah...i hope they get it.

The feedback session ended with a huge tension in the end...i know they tried to console me...but i just kept weeping and weeping...eyes and nose flooding....dun look nice though....i can't help it....

then i walk out of school thinking i should stop this since i have cried enough but i just kept on weeping non-stop...whioch at one point...a classmate spot me and say hi...without knowing i am in tears....i responded with a hi...and i guess he saw me crying...and i just hurriedly walk away.....i continued to cry and sob....on my way to the school library where i am now...and start to blog this.....just a while ago....i was on MSN with my brother and he told me that he can manage to send me my money by April...and i am really touch...and then....I weep again!

I can't stop crying since i started it.....i just kept crying.

By the way...i must have also scared liwei becos i was chatting with her "happily' while i am weeping and typing this post...scary...i know.

This guy.

Well folk!...this is probably what most of my friends out there are waiting for....some romantic happenings in my life...which is almost rare in my days here in Glasgow. The reason for it's inadequacy is unknown...athough i have sort of blame it on my unattractiveness...but then again....maybe it is just fate.

This guy I am going to talk about today...and like most of the other guy that i have talk about in my blog...which is...i have met him at least 3 times. Yeah....the trilogy thing....it seems to always happen in trilogies....just that...the sick thing is...it only has 3 part to it...and no more....like the Daniel guy i talk about with the flower sniffing incident if you have follow my posting...as well as the lightbulb guy who gave me a lightbulb....they just disappear somehow after i make a note about them...opps!...precisely what i am doing now....i just wonder how it is going ruin my fate by blogging it....like i care.


This guy, we met in EMA. EMA is the electronic media suite in my school. I was doing a video editing one afternoon and this guy....though he had been sitting right across me facing me....i din manage to notice him until...this...
The lab technician was telling some stupid joke while he was helping me save a file and ask for this guy's opinion and this guy just smile in repond probably out of politeness..while we exchange just a feel polite casual glances,,,and then,,,came a banch of people from the back door passing him a big hand-made paper hat saying "happy birthday"...and oh yah....it was his birthday, 21st january. The only think i notice about him for the whole event in the EMA was his checkered-shirt and olive green sweater....

Then i went to work....totally forget about the existence of this person.
While working in y restaurant....we have a telephone booking for 8 person tonight...and i wonder what crowd is coming....
then we met again....
i din recognise him....he says hi....
and i rememebr his green sweater.
It was the guy in EMA.
We had a pleasant smile at each other...and i told him not to tell anyone in school that i worked there....
he ask me what department i am in...
i serve him chinese tea.
before he left for the day....i ask him which department he is from....and end of part 2

This morning...wednesday...26th jan
we met again.
It was a website design workshop...and he was late.
I recognise him...and i heard the technician calling his name...oliver is his name.
he sat behind me.

we din talk...and left after the lecture....i was too shy to even say hi
End of story.

At this point....i regret not turning my head and say hi.

3 times we met and that is it....i promise if i met him again in school....i will say hi and smile at him!

Very Tired!

SnoW!

Yes!...Snow...! Record breaking 10 cm thick of snow in Glasgow....very rare occasion even for the locals....enjoy that night partcularly when i made a lot of footprints on the snow-covered ground...and made snow balls out of snow from eveywhere....remind me of ice kacang....nice weather...

180105

Canton-Style

Just imagine that kind of hong Kong style restaurant...selling roast pork and roast duck...yah...i worked in that kind of restaurant...cannot imagine.
I know I am not a very good waitress in many ways...but working in this restaurant shows all my flaws. The first problem is cantonese. I understand but i dun speak...only makes me a mute when I work with colleagues. Then I dun smile....I always smile...wherever i worked...but i din manage to smile here becos i can't talk much and dun blend in therefore...i dun felt like smiling....which is deadly in terms of my professional practice as a waitress....then...is my backgroud....i worked in too many kinds of restaurant before...too many styles in my head....japanese...western...hong kong style...???....while the westerners think that stacking up plate in front of them when you clear plates is rude...they do it here in chinese style...where they pour all the soups and sauce in front of you in the bigeest bowl....before they remove it from your sight....then....i dun usually talk to customers....unless very occassional chat....but they are very traditional hong kong style...they expect a bit of chatting...i can't...especially in cantonese....if you know what i mean. And then they want you to be fast....i can be fast if i know what i am going to do...but then...fast is not my style.

Very hard...a job that I feel I am not good enuff.

190105

Am I happy?

To tell the truth, I am not unhappy.
But that doesn't mean I am happy.

Scottish TV

Browsing thru the TV schedule for today is an absolute disappointment...
I remember a friend told me before...nobody stays at home to watch TV on friday...i think...there are reasons for this...anyway...if that is the case...i better find something to do tonight.

140105

Inspiring....

The lectures that i am having for this 2 days is bloody inspiring i would say...too inspiring that i am changing plans about my future again....of cos as usual...i always change my mind....or to be exact...i never make up my mind in the first place....

Whichever....i am happy.

130105

Stiff neck

i have this weird stiff neck for the whole day....since this morning...i guess is the pillow....or the posistion i sleep in....irritating....felt like having some good massage....ahhh....but in this case...i can only afford to have a few medicated plaster (yahui send me) plastered on my shoulders and neck.....good enuff.

130105

Weather reports two day after the storm....

Clear beautiful sky with the most graceful moon...sharp, curve and fine.
Totally mersmerising....
But...absolutely freezing.

131005

Weather reports...

Horrible strong winds...at the speed of 124mph swept across scotland just 2 days ago....
which i had to cling onto road railings to prevent myself from being blown away....
trash flying about at great speed..get hit a million times by tiny cubes of frozen raindrops....blown on my face..as i brave through the stormy weather to walk home...hands numb....and face numb after the million hits...
all this just becos i want to save 85 pence not to take a bus.
Of cos...if i know this is going to be so bad...i would have take a bus...

i wonder what is next at this rate...i was told, this is not the worst of the winter yet...

what can be worst...i dun want to imagine.

130105

Listen to my advice

Never ever do anything to help people if you are unwilling.
If you are unwilling....dun do it!

Too miserable a weather....

Too miserable to do anything.
How can anyone live in this kind of weather.....
Kill me.


100105

Realise...

Always reject people when you are not willing.
Don't do something out of kindness as people will never appreciate that in the end.

080104

lost connection....

I have been offline lately until today....it was...actually a relief though I lost connect with almost everybody....maybe I just need that kind of isolation occassionally.

Something not so nice...

I have been having a thought about something I thought is not very nice....
And this in turns cause me mishap....such as...being splash water by bus driving past and losing my purse....(which I found later)...and etc....but...I have decide to take action of what I have been thinking. Not something evil...just that I suspect I have been taken advantage of by a friend and I want her to pay back!...I dun see anything wrong to that though....just suspect I might lost a friend...if I want her to pay back the money....a friend whom has been taking advantage of my kindness and it is not worth it.

Ohhh...

Utterly in love with this man.
Viggo Mortensen....aka Aragorn, son of arathorn.
How can any women not love him.
If you know what I mean.

281204

I only got to know about the Tsunami wave yesterday..

My friend told me about it....doesn't sound so serious until my mum call me just now....it was the headlines here as well...It makes me start to wonder if I am pursuing a wrong thing here....if the wrong is coming to an end....
But then....singapore is really lucky...

Too lucky.

281204

opps...

I didn't work and work as usual like I would...I had a 2 days holiday at home watching Lord of the ring DVD....plus Hotelier...korean drama...never been as peaceful and happy since I have arrive...

Merry christmas to everybody.

281204

So many tears I cried....

I cried and cried while I was watching a movie yesterday night....
The movie, Together with you. By Chen Kaige.
SUPER INSPIRING!

setting up... 

About honesty...

It "pays" to be honest.
This happen to me today. The school registra got mix up and send me a cheque for my scholarship and on top of it deduct my fees. Which means I am double paid....While I am delighted with their mixed up...I am guilty. So, I pop by the finance dept and told them about it. They were at a lost as to realise a discrepency of £2000 which is S$6000, and dun noe how to dealt with it immediately, they ask me to come back tomoro. I regretimmediately.I shouldn't have pop by...becos from the way they are flipping thru pages and searching for records...they clearly dun noe what is going on....and even if I eventually graduate....they might probably thought I have settle my fess and pay me extra for scholarship....and this is my lesson today. But then, It is not a too bad thing, becos I should feel proud to be honest though it "pays".

141204

This christmas...

I am going to work, work and work.

This friend again

A friend of mine and I have not seen him for more than a year. He always has been an enlightenment for me almost each time we talk and this is still the case when I met up with him today. He is always very positive and always remind me of something, a thought or things I wanted to and should do...but forget to do because of reality, the thing that makes people forget that they should be dreaming. I am happy simply because he wake me up from reality and bring me back to my dream. It is my dream that I wanted to live in, not reality. Today, he reminded me. 3 things that he said today wake me up. One, NEVER BE A COMPLAIN ARTIST. I never complain, but I know I am not happy with things and I JUST LEAVE THINGS AS IT IS, AND DID NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO RESOLVE THEM, I just leave it. This is as bad as a complain artist even if I didn’t really complain. Two, JUST DO IT!....dun have to care what the others are doing or not doing, dun have to care about the environment and whatever shit is going on how bad the art has become....dun care, heck care just do what you want to do and that’s it, that simple....dun have to complicate things, and learn to be grateful to all the fundings that are still coming in. That should be the way, I used to be like that, and I absolutely forget about that. Three, a quote from Guo Bao Kun, 艺术仅次于生命. And that is it. That is the most important thing in my life which I sort of forget it along the way and he reminded me. Art comes after life. Life is the most important aspect and then my art. If I dun have a life, I won’t have art. And all this, he reminded me. Finally, my life, enough of reality, and it is time now to go back to my dreams.

131203

Go do something beautiful please...

Do something beautiful.
I like this expression...
Sleep is beautiful....eat is....love is......


101204

I lied

I lied.
I told everyone I am 25, which I am not.
I am going to be though in a few months time.
I did it unconsciously at first when people start asking me how old I am.
It was all about the “rounding-off” habit I have with time.
23, 24 or 25 all means 25.
Hopefully, strategically 26 and 27 is also 25.
But then...28, 29 and 30 would sadly means 30.
you know what I mean....
Then it was about getting use to time.
It all happens when I became 22.
My 22 was like in a trance.
Until now, I still couldn’t figure out how I spent it...but nevertheless it was spent.
Then 23...just come and go.
24.....I am actually 24 now...but I tell people I am 25 already.
Which means...my 24 is gone.
This is really an attempt to prepare myself for the fact that I am going to be 25 soon.
And...anyway, who cares if I am 24 or 25, I really see no difference.
Though I know there is.

101204

This friend

I thought I kind of like this friend of mine and I would still like to address why I like him. I like him because he is very DIFFERENT from me! A lot of things. In terms of believe, and way of seeing things....although there are things we have in common, we have a lot of conflicting thoughts. the fact that he is different show me what I am. So many things. And he is the only few guys I really felt comfortable walking side by side with. He is also the only few who will give me very harsh critic, and very frank ones becos he says he has got a very high expectation of me. He is inspiring at times and show me light occasionally. I like this friend of mine, though I wont say he is a soulmate. He is someone I can talk to frankly.

Fingered-tied

I've got millions to say a few days ago....now...i am mentally blocked and fingered-tied t type....totally forget what I want to say...horrible.

Ever since i come back from London...I realise a lot of things...

UK is the TOMB for ART...especially London.
It is about making big money.
Nothing to do with passion...or maybe passion for money.

That is the commercial side of it.

All become tasteless and boring.

I am determine to finish my course and GET OUT OF IT!

ZHE LI DE YI SHU YUAN LAI YI DIAN DOU BU XIAO SA .

and so...forget it.

Sayonara.

About London...

I HATE IT!
DUN LIKE THIS PLACE....ABSOLUTELY HATE IT!
THOUGH THE SHOPPING IS NICE....I WILL NEVER CHOOSE TO STAY HERE...
MAKES ME CLAUSTROPHOBIC!

Tired....

I am tired...

New girl...me?

You have no idea how many people I have work with in this restaurant since the day it opens....I was told by the head chef who is bonded by the boss....that 8 staff was “chase away” by the boss for the first week....and..subsequently...since I start working in this restaurant....I lost count of how many colleagues come and go...I make a lot of friends though...but they just left....I will try to name a few whom I still remember their names...while the rest...at least a dozen of them...when I say a dozen...i really mean a dozen...(at least 12 or more) they left even before I got time to ask their names...and at least 5 or 6 left after my boss ask me to pay them a horribly miserable sum of money....
The first few colleagues are Kelly who left...and she still calls me occassionaly...Amy..left to study never see her again...Jenny..went back to Malaysia.....Ken left for another restaraunt....Nicole works in Ayr now....Ah Juan...found another job...Ah mun went to London and back to Malaysia...Leo left for Manchester...Daisy left recently..Ah Zheng went to London....Ah fei found another job...Ah yan jie in London.....there are 2 Ah qing...one married the chef and stop working..anonther left....in between...they are Rina...whom I have not work with....but I know her becos Nicole tell me a lot about her...A Maggie...whom I saw only once...the girl with a pair of thick glasses becos the boss think she cannot see....Xiao mei who left last week....Ah rui...who worked for 3 days...Steven...one of my first few colleagues., one Malysian guy whom I thought is a malay but is a Chinese but I forget his name...another Malaysian , another Jenny...a shy girl...., another a girl whom I gave her a mint before she left the restaurant.., Ah shan...whom the boss suspect steal her money...another girl..quite pretty and the kitchen staff loves her but didn’t stay for long and never come back...a guy who worked for 5 hours and sent home by the boss....and numerous (more than 20..and I am not exarggerating)who came for a work trial..of 2 hours and left,,,whom I never get to see but get to hear about them from all my colleagues........about how they are being scruntinise by my boss...and as usual...my boss will tell them...to go home and wait for her to call....which she never do....
So according to my above statistic...there should be at least 40 people who had worked in this restaurant ...including the 2 hours ones....50(or more) people left...in 11 mth...makes roughly 5 a month..which means 1 every 6 days....sigh...and this figures EXCLUDE the kitchen staff...people like Ah Ming shifu...another Ah min ge..Ah qiu, Jin Mao,..Ah bin...another guy who always call me jie guo jie jie...numerous dish washing guy...I couldn’t be bother even to find out their names nowadays...who knows how long they will stay.....I lost count but I bet there are more than 20 kitchen staffs who left.....
The biggest joke of all one day...after my 3 days off....and I went back to work...a new Kitchen dish-washing girl saw me walking into the kitchen....and give me a “who is this new girl” look....she is only “3 day old” in the restaurant...and she actually already seen at least 4 new girl reporting to work and get sack....so when she saw me...she thought I was a new girl...and she told the chef... “look! Another new girl”....I was so amused...and the kitchen staff all burst out into laughter....yeah...I am new...I only work 11month for this boss...