I am so impressed and yet so not.

I am so impressed by the fact that I can churn out 500 words in less than 5 minutes to write a blog entry...but couldn't get myself to write a 4000 words essay in 3 weeks...of cos I have a lot of excuses and I think they are very valid but still I am so not impressed by this fact. By the way....I WANT INTERNET ACCESS!!!!!!

I am such a fake!

This is something I can't stand myself lately...I am such a fake!..to my landlord...while usually I am a VERY SINCERE person to everybody.This is what happened...2 weeks ago I call up the broadband company to install broadband in my room...I told my landlord about it and he say "NO PROBLEM!"...but then in the end...he chase the technicians away and scold them for drailing holes in his flat...I won't blame him..becos is his property and he is right to protect it...few days later....he told my neighbours that he feels bad about it and ask them to tell me to go ahead and call up the company to do the installation again....but now the problem is...the NTL company has already CANCELLED my name and BLACKLISTED me for broadband installation...and....I am soooo busy now I dun have time slots to wait for installation....and the MOST FUSTRATING thing is...my essay is due this sunday..I NEED THE INTERNET FOR MY RESEARCH AND WRITE UP...but couldn't continue in the middle of my writing becos my offline links is cut off without internet accesss....I really BLOW UP!...Thanks to my landlord who chase the technicians away that morning....I am now stuck with an unfinish essay and a VERY TIGHT WORK SCHEDULE!.....and ON TOP OF THIS....he comes to knock on my door and ask me if I am OK....welll...I really wanted to tell him I am NOT!....thanks to him...i have to carry my 3kg laptop and walks to school....resulting in SEVERE backaches shoulder aches as well as thigh muscle cramp from walking with heavy object...especially when the laptop bag is actually not very carrier friendly when you have to sling it across your shoulders....that is when I finally have an off day from work and I had to go to school for the internet access...with the rest of days...trying to work offline at home...and get stuck in all the links I tried to bookmark but can't access becos I dun have connections at home!!!!...I am sooo FED UP!...and then....comes the FAKE part....I smile at my landlord and say I am ok, I just dun want people to feel bad about things...besides WHAt else can I say...ask him to F**K OFF?.....i really hates it when he knocks on my door on my precious off days...just to ask me if I am "happy"and won't go off and keep talking...I tried to be polite but sometimes i am soo sick of entertaining him..I told him I am busy...I am happier if he gives me a break and leave me alone!.....and finally...I am determined to MOVE as soon as I can find a cheaper flat or somewhere as cheap....I SWEAR!