Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Itchy fingers...needs to blog

It has been a month since my last blog...
Feelings just kept erupting...but with no access to internet these days..
It is driving me mad....

I just need to share my life....anyone....anybody....
I just need to express how I feel...

First of all....about myself recently....

These days...I have been buying things like never before....
To compensate for not buying anything for the past 3 years...
I told myself....
If I dun love myself...no one will anyway...
At least be nice to myself as I have been so hard on myself for the past few years...

And so....my shopping spree...this month while...THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE....is ON!

I bought a black tube dress 2 weeks ago to attend a wedding dinner...

Bought a red tube top...last week
Realise I look good with tube becos I have lost some weight..and lost those flabby arms...

Bought a yellow halter neck top...bought it becos it is a happy yellow colour...feels happy...

Bought a black v-necked spaghatti strap top...becos it makes me look skinner...

Bought a pink silky halter top a few days ago...intended to wear it on my friend's wedding which I will be her bridesmaid...

Then...bought a nude colour strapless bra yesterday...so that it can go with my pink halter neck top...

Bought a seamless nude colour knickers....so that i dun have those ugly seam line when i wear fitting white pants....

By the way..I am happy to annouce I have lost weight!!!

And things I have yet to buy..but wants to buy....

A silky pink top from ZARA...which is quite expensive...still hesitating...beoos I have already bought a pink top a few days go....but this one seems to be more appropriate...

A white 3/4 cut pants to match the silky top( I was thinking this could be a better combi choice to wear for being the bridesmaid...I dun like to wear dress...plus...no one will look at me anyway...I am not suppose to too beauitful on that day to tseal any limelight...plus...I will be running around for the bride for that whole day i reckon)

A matching white open toe high heel shoes....

Some matching pink or white earrings....

So much for the bridesmaid thingy...

--------------------------------------------

Another news...is my recent interview....
for teaching job....

If I got that job...

I probably will have to start another shopping spree....
for some formal wear...

Probably some basic tailored pants...or skirts...
collared shirts and blouses...some jackets....air-cons in staff rooms are famous for being cold...
Covered toes shoes....
I just hope the dress code is not as strict as I was informed by some of my teaching friends....
As an art teacher....I hope my student can sense my "freedom to express"...
Hopefully...I can be in my slack attire when I am in the art studios....
I really hope...

Anyway....if i got that job...
I probably will move nearer to my work place...
I look forward...
To enjoy solitude again...
Having my own space is something I really need since i left glasgow


------------------------------------------------------

I was in tears again...for a while on the bus just now..
I was thinking....

Maybe i should have hug him tightly instead of hitting him with tears the day he left me...
At least...he will rememeber my love...and not how hurt i was....
Regardless....it would not change anything....

And I will always rememeber the last word he says before he left...

"For fuck sake!"...he says...

I really wish he had said something else...

Watever...it has been so long ago...

I am ok now...

Just ocassionally....I will think of him...
like just now when i was alone on the bus...

It has been a year....since the degree show...

A year has past....

Last year this time...I was so in love...

It was not a choice for me to fall in love...I just fell in love...

Maybe it was not a choice for him to hurt me...yet he hurt me.


Maybe things just happen...FOR NO REASON.


They just happen.


------------------------


For you. Take care.

One day...when you can love someone so dearly that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person...and be responsible for the first time in your life for someone....until then...
...let me know.

I will be happy for you.


Meanwhile. Have a nice life.


If you ever read this.

-----------------------------------------


Oh....I have been following the world cup lately...

Love the swedes...although they are not among the favourites...
I will place my bet on the argentinas....and Spainish....

Brazil seems a bit out of form lately....rather disappointing...

Of course...The german had great avantage on homegrounds...

South korean...how can I not support them...the only asian teams...
and those korean guys....ahh....makes me heart flutter...

Oh oh...and portugal....hmmm...


So much for the commentries...I am no expert...just someone who enjoys the fighting spirit behind a tough match...and admires teams who fight till the very last...of course not to forget to enjoy the games with 22 men running around in sweaty muscle revealing shirts....opps...pardon me for being naughty.


-------------------------------------


My latest obsession apart from drooling at football playing men on TV...and going out for crazy shopping spree..

is baking.


Bought a couple of books on baking ...tried baking cookie at yahui's place last week with her brother, Ah guan
Made choc chip cookie...
and pistachio cookies...
was fun...

this week...I intend to try baking muffins...and cookie with icing and rasins...
Have to discuss with my pastry chef, Ah guan and need to go shopping again for equipment.

Made some investment so far and ...
bought a mixing bowl,
a metal sifter..
baking sheets...
plastic spatulas....
some jelly moulds...

Is planning to buy ....
a muffin try and
a flat cookie tray...
plus some cookie mould....
some metal deorating tip for soft cookie...
and disposible decorating bag...

Looking forward to the next baking session...


------------------------------------------------------

The England and sweden match is starting in 15 minute time...
Need to run to the loo and get my Nachos ready for the game...

Cannot decide who to support....but my heart is with the swedes...
But England team is strong and I like Owen and Rooney....

Whoever....I will cheer as long as it a a game well played...


----------------------------------------


Good night everybody.
Have a nice day.
Thank you for listening.

With love.

:)