Dear Anonymous...

"No one will understand how you felt. You wouldn't have understood the feelings of others too. "

I agree.
In fact, I believe i have long concluded this statement long ago....
"You are not me...and I am not you..."...i said something like this in my old entries...
And mentioned that...it doesn't matter if you dun understand...
It is not a matter of understanding ...
It is a matter of RESPECTING people's feeling...
Further more...I did not ask for your understanding....
I was merely expressing my own sadness in my own blog...
Was feeling melancholy for the day...
I was not seeking for people's understanding in the first place...
i was trying to tell myself to be brave...
I do not understand why you have to sound so defensive...
Did I blame you for not understanding me?
I only said..."Thank you but you will not understand, though you meant well."...
This means...I was expressing my UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!
Whoever you are....
Your comments boils my blood...yet makes me laugh...



"When you are hungry, and there is good food to eat, you will be glad that you can eat it. When you are tired and you have a place to sleep, you will be glad that you can sleep. When you are very much alive, healthy and have a life out there for you, why do you keep looking back, and not look in front?"


I agree tooo.
Yes...when I am hungry....I eat...
Tired i sleep...
Alive...and keep breathing...
And therefore...
when there is happiness...I smile...
SADNESS...I CRY.
I am human.
Are you not??
It is not a mattter of looking forward or backward...
But human beings have feelings...
Have memories...
I can't just delete memories like computer and trash files in bin....
It is there...memories...is part of me...
I was hurt...
I was in pain...
It took me a long time until I can lead a life without crying everyday...
I have been trying so hard to put the past behind...
You probably can do that easily...
But for me...
I cannot just love somebody today...
And suddenly dun love somebody tomolo.
It takes time for sun to set....
For sun to rise....
For earth to obit around the sun...
For a caterpillar to turn butterfly....


Takes time to fall in love...
To realise it suddenly was over...
To feel the pain...and the lost...
To hate...
To forgive...
To let go...
To get over....
To be normal again...
NOBODY wishes to be sad forever....
I am looking forward already...
But what is behind me...will always be behind me....
It is just there...
I want to happy too...


you don't have to understand this...
But at least....Can you respect me.
Respect basic human feelings...



********************************


I was looking at a pimple(acne) scar on my face yesterday....
It was a big black scar...
It reminded me of this pimple a few weeks ago...
It was a painful big pimple...
Then it heal...
very very slowy
I can alway conceal the scar by putting some make up and pretend that the scar is not there....
But the fact is....there is a scar...
The more i hid the sacr...
The more i am conscious of its existence...

So I choose to face the scar ...let it be there...and everyday...
It fades a little bit....
Day by day...
It is still there....but it is fading...
it was no longer too ugly..
And slowly....
I forget that there is a scar on my face....
It doesn't mean I never had a pimple...
I had one...left a scar...it faded...and i get over it...
Occassionally....when i look at my face closely in the mirror to wash my face...
I see a faded scar....
And remembers it....

This is me.
I do not want to pretend I am happy.
Like putting make up on my face...
It will only make myself more consious of the pain....
I do not want to seal up my broken heart and assume there is no true love in this world...
And move on hastily for the sake of moving on...
I want to face my own sadness.
When i am upset or in pain....I cry....
and cry...
and after a good cry...
I will be happy again...
Slowly....
I will cry less and less...
And one day...get over it...
This process may be slow...
But I wanted to believe...
Someone else will cherish my heart one day...
My heart....it has done nothing wrong to love somebody...


*************************************************

Life goes on....
I am glad that I have a cup of soya-milk a few days ago...
Eat some noodles yesterday and was happy...
bake some muffins at a friends house...did not taste very nice but it was a nice try...
Watch world cup finals at Liqi's place and won my bet...
Get my pay check a few weeks ago....
Saw a cute guy in my restaurant a few days ago and had a nice chat...

Yet...was upset...over your comments in my blog....
Angry, to be exact.
Angry with someone anonymous...
whom remind me of him.
You sound just like him.



I was actually happy that someone read my blog.
It feesl good when someone actually bothers to read my blog and post a comment.
I will choose to believe thatyour comments meant well...
And wanted me to be happy...
I wanted to believe people are kind in heart and never wanted to hurt anybody...
I hope I was not being naive again.

****************************************************************************

5 minutes ago....
The fate was sealed...
Italy won...
And France lost...
The cruel penalty kick...

People who fought hard and won rejoices...
People who fight so hard but lost ...cannot help...but cries...

That kind of disappointment....
Somehow...I understand.


************************************


Do have a nice day...
Whoever you are....
Please take care...