An email...

Received an email from him yesterday...
was actally quite touched...as apparently...no one misses me...as I haven receive any emails from anyone for a long time..
At least he misses me...I mean...as a friend...
Took me i day...to hesitate...
and the next day...to have the courage to reply his email...
At least...I was telling myself...how difficult could it be...
As I am quite convince that I am..sort of quite get over him already...
So what could be so hard...
And I start to write a reply...
At first...it was the usual nice and polite way to write an email...
then...at the end...
I wanted to be trueful...
so I wrote...
"You dun have to see me before i leave...if you are busy...I am fine...
maybe it will more beautiful just to think of you....even if we might never see each other again...it doesn't matter anymore...nothing matters..."


And i started to cry...

So I am not over him yet.

I am trying though...and I seriously think I am doing a good job...

Then...in order not to agonise him...(I think it is enough to have one person to suffer the misery...then to have both of us feel the pain)...I change my last line..
and make it sound more cheerful...

"Oh well....nothing is important now...
no school no exam...no home...no residency no scholarship no boyfriend....
watever...whenever...wherever...
No hurry....free and easy...
have a nice day to you..."

Sound spiteful...hmmm...I dun know...
I really dun know what will happen if i see him again...

If it is going to be like the last time we met...
I think it will be more beautiful to just think of him...
really...

Have a nice day...

Love,
chyiyun