I am feeling fine.

Recently...i have been feeling fine. Fine as in fine. I managed to come out with yet another piece of artwork lately and was surprised that critics are good....though not many people really did see it.....wanted to get away with my silly working life...and is determine to end the working trauma after the easter break.

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Snow like hell....

snow like hell yesterday...a dramatic sight indeed....but was so beautiful that i actually dun mind the freezing temperature at all....so beautiful...so...disturb looking..i mean the snow...while people will usually expect snowing to be peaceful and calm..the snow is "frantic" yesterday....ahh...i like lor...i just like it.

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When the world is so big...

When the world is too big and life too short...it is sometimes hard for us to adjust to this fact especially when we are heading towards an end...every second....but then ...just as you thought that there are still plenty of life ahead...it can end suddenly. This is not a sucidal post i would like to assure everybody...just some thoughts after i watch the show "six feet under". People will die when it is time...

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Where are my references?

My tutor pressed me about my references.....and her logic is I can't be making things out of vacumm...there must be something that makes me want to do something....some souce of inspiration...what makes me make a decision for making my art work in the way i make it....there must be a reference.....er...excuse me...i dun understand. I felt like crying when i wanted to tell her...the motivation behind why i want to make such works is really becos of my realisation in my life...and i want to express it....must there be a reference for my realisation...i mean...i dun realise what other is realsing...i realise things myself....becos no one shares my life except myself.... So she gave an example that it can be literature...or music...or art...I am confused...becos i dun see and link to what i read and like...to the work i do....seriously. Th reason why i choose to use text or installation...is becos I am aware that it is a recognise form of art...and how am I aware of that...since long long ago...i read a lot of magazine and know that installation is a form of art. Do I have to reference that and say why i choose to make installation...? Then does painters have to justify why they paint? Maybe I should have inform them I used to be a ballet dancer...e-hu performer, scriptwriter, actress...painter...sculptress....poet...writer....before i tell them I choose to use installation as an expression...than do i have to explain to them...i am also a very emotional person....so..it makes me see things like how i see them...then I told her about this website that i like a lot....obviously she dun noe about the website...and so...who shall i reference....from the first person that inflence me....i cannot imagine what she will thing if i tell her...i like paul klee....and then i like Mark Rothko...then i like Eva Hesse, and Nara Yoshitomo...then I will tell her...I like www.nobodyhere.com....and books written by Jimmy, a taiwan illustrator...then i like Wong Kar wai's movie...and The French Movie Amelie.....i wonder if that helps to shape things....but i suspect they know none of them...so why am I mentioning these?...and so....I dun noe if this is even logical in the first place to state them as my reference....and maybe....everything I see makes an impression...and they turn out to be what they are like today...do I have to include my diving experiences...as well as...my travelling....i really dun noe...the reasons for why i am doing what I am doing right now...is becos I thought that is the thing I want to do ...and that is it...if i am researching into things now...trying to back myself up for what i did...then that is not what influence me....but what I thought might have influence me...after my work is done and i go reserch for a reference...then in that case....that will not be my reference in the end...if you know what i mean...some of the work...which i tot is interetsting and i find similarity...are not the works that i actually refered to when i did my work...and how can i say they are my reference when i only know about them when i finish my work.....i really dun noe what to say....I just hate to address this issue...SERIOUSLY....I HATE IT!...and I am angry.

Chinese New Year...

Today is the first day of chinese new year....and everything is suppose to be happy and bright....supposed to be...

yah...and hopefully it will be.


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Weeping Willow...

I am in tears again....this time while chatting with my brothers.....knowing the condition of my family is getting from bad to worse only means I have to work harder. But somehow...I realise when times are too good...I am rather unproductive in my artwork...maybe the bad times is a good thing....which also means I might go home sooner than expected....becos i dun want to travel with the money any more how can I when my whole family is in such heavy debts....good and bad...Hopefully....someone will buy our house and solve everything!
But that would mean....I will have no "home" to go back to by the time I graduate....they are going to live in Thailand after selling the house...with my brother in ChiengMai...
what am I supose to wish for now....to strike the lottery?

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Aging...

I feel old lately...flabby arms....sagging thigh muscles...wrinkling face...droopy breast ....everything seems old in me....weakening heart...what an old lady.

No offence.

I was browsing other people's blog and felt the urge to comment.....i am not that kind of people who say nice words when i dun want to....I just say what i want to say...hence...i probably might have offence people in the process....in case any of you check me out because i say something that annoyed you in my comments about ur posting.....my apologies for being rude and incabaility to say something nice...and I promise next time...i will try to keep those comments to myself...if i can.

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Cherie Amour...

means dear love....ahh such a nice discovery for the day.

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My Cherie Amour

La la la la la la, la la la la la la

My cherie amour, lovely as a summer day
My cherie amour, distant as the milky way
My cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I’ve been near you, but you never noticed me
My cherie amour, won’t you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la la la

Maybe someday, you’ll see my face among the crowd
Maybe someday, I’ll share your little distant cloud
Oh, cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
La la la la la la, la la la la la la


Stevie Wonder

( I heard this song on several occassion...and like it a lot....did a fruitless search online and my friend found the song title, the artist and the lyrics in less than 30 second....thanks pal!)

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"Green tea keeps you going"

Says an aritcle...."Green tea could become the drug of choice for atheletes, now that green tea extract (GTE) has been shown to help boost endurance. Drinking four cups a day could help peopel to do nearly 25% more excercise before exhaustion sets in, according to a paper in an American Physiological Society journal."..

I realise this long ago...and drink up to at least 4 cups of green tea...when I am struggling with projects and had to stayed overnight....it always keeps me awake for at least 30 hours.......the power to keep awake...can you imagine...!

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More than coincidence...

Just last week...my landlord James ask me if I am fine with what is going on the apartment...and i say I am ok....he give me that "really?!" look....and yes...i am really ok...and he said "tough girl!"....I am puzzled...what did I have to endure I wonder for him to say that....the water heaters in the bathroom is working my room is warm...electrical appliance is working...water is suppying fine...lightbulb shines.......neighbours might be noisy but dun really hear them when the door is close....and .i couldn't be bother about what is going on wih my neighbours...and their activities...in fact I have got absolutely no idea what is going on....like i care... dun have the time....so...maybe I am really missing something that is going on out there...I wonder what is it that James is refering to that might have bothered me....the only thing...however that did bothers me...is this.

If it is once or twice...I will call it coincidence....afterall, more than five of us share this facilities...but it happens at least 3 times a day, in fact almost everytime...since Monday...and it PISSED ME OFF!...That is...someone is hogging the bathroom!!!! or maybe this person just had the same freqency as me in terms of visiting the loo...3 to 4 times a day!!?!....everytime I grab my toilet rolls and head for the loo....the door is closed...must be the same person...i suspect always the same person...and must be a guy...becos the toilet seats are up...or...windows are open (probably smoking and shitting at the same time), why dun he bring the newspaper along...., thanks a lot....and it hits me like a car on the road every time i saw the already ocuppied loo.....excuse me, it is winter now.....too much bladder control is really not somthing healthy....arrgh....of cos...he din always win...i did happen to be quicker for a few instance and manage to get the "seat" first...but...rate is only 2 out of 10, when i actually heard someone pacing outside the toilet and gone back the room.....and the other 8 times....i have to wait! ...This is really my only complain about my accommodation...the other things like...din really bother me much...

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It's gonna be another day in the sunshine...

Glasgow has been acting weirdly of late...i mean the weather...it is incredibly sunny....so good that the weather report lady on the news actually said this...."Glasgow is the only place in UK with lots of sunshine now...in fact..7 hours of it for the whole day"....considering that it is winter now...it only means...the sun really shines...and it has been sunny since...monday...or maybe earlier...saturday?...watever...it has been too sunny.....but temperature actually drops...becos of the lost of clouds in the sky....hence...freezingly sunny?...get it?....ahh....this kind of weather ...

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