My computer is going to crash...SOON!...I can feel it in my skin....very VERY tramuatising....BACK UP!>>>BACK UP!>>>BACK UP!!!
Yah..that is the only thing you can do when ur system is going to crash...and the ability to sense it is better than to see it crash suddenly.
SO....things to do today...BACK UP!...ALL FILES.
ANd wait for it to die.
COmputers is not that scary when you know they are stupid.
260505
Thursday, May 26, 2005
13 days...
Working full gear now...I am DIVING VERY DEEP into concentration and at the stage of getting things DONE!
Not as if I have never been more hardworking and in full concentration...I am in fact always in this stage when the proper time arrive.
Timing...IS IMPORTANT.
To a person who works last minute.
Every second...COUNTS.
With NO EXCEPTION this time.
13 day which includes the actual installation of my art work and if necessary...
It will be a 24 hours a day thing for me.
As far as I can remember...my record was 3 days.
24 hours a day for 3 days until the deadline. Day and night...
Bring my sleeping bag...burn my midnight oil...drink up all my green tea..
eat all the food in the fridge....
so..it is 13 days now...which is unusually early for me to start...but judging from what I have completed so far...I am left with 13 days to do what I am suppose to do for one year..if this description is good enough to illustrate how desperately last minute I am.
Just to give a very brief description of what I am supose to do today and what I have mangage to complete...
I am suppose to compile all my research and present them in proper accessible documentation.
Do a proper documentation of my previous art work.
Read thru my notes and file them up for reference.
and wat is completed so far?..
I am half way thru each of everything.
which means I have completed nothing.
And what is next for the rest of the 6 days before the installation?
I need to go to the library and source for more refernce.
Print out all my refernce...
Arrange my online reference.
Do a few powerpoint presenation piece of my photo documentation.
MAke a short audio piece BUT THE DAMN SOUND ROOM IS FULLY BOOKED!
The booking sheet is OUT just this morning at 9.30am..
I reach school at 10am...and it is FULLY BOOKED!
And also...I need to decide the actual installation for my final piece, PLUS
I am still very tempted to make 2 more video which requires video editing AGAIN!
and an ARTIST BOOK PROJECT...a small one...with all my rough paper.
All that in 6 days.
I AM NOT GOD.
then...comes the biggest challenge to put everything together...and GRADUATED!
13 days...Let's see how much I can accomplish.
meanwhile, Blogging might become less frequent...unless neccessary...
to chilled out or something...
something like what I am doing now.
260505
Not as if I have never been more hardworking and in full concentration...I am in fact always in this stage when the proper time arrive.
Timing...IS IMPORTANT.
To a person who works last minute.
Every second...COUNTS.
With NO EXCEPTION this time.
13 day which includes the actual installation of my art work and if necessary...
It will be a 24 hours a day thing for me.
As far as I can remember...my record was 3 days.
24 hours a day for 3 days until the deadline. Day and night...
Bring my sleeping bag...burn my midnight oil...drink up all my green tea..
eat all the food in the fridge....
so..it is 13 days now...which is unusually early for me to start...but judging from what I have completed so far...I am left with 13 days to do what I am suppose to do for one year..if this description is good enough to illustrate how desperately last minute I am.
Just to give a very brief description of what I am supose to do today and what I have mangage to complete...
I am suppose to compile all my research and present them in proper accessible documentation.
Do a proper documentation of my previous art work.
Read thru my notes and file them up for reference.
and wat is completed so far?..
I am half way thru each of everything.
which means I have completed nothing.
And what is next for the rest of the 6 days before the installation?
I need to go to the library and source for more refernce.
Print out all my refernce...
Arrange my online reference.
Do a few powerpoint presenation piece of my photo documentation.
MAke a short audio piece BUT THE DAMN SOUND ROOM IS FULLY BOOKED!
The booking sheet is OUT just this morning at 9.30am..
I reach school at 10am...and it is FULLY BOOKED!
And also...I need to decide the actual installation for my final piece, PLUS
I am still very tempted to make 2 more video which requires video editing AGAIN!
and an ARTIST BOOK PROJECT...a small one...with all my rough paper.
All that in 6 days.
I AM NOT GOD.
then...comes the biggest challenge to put everything together...and GRADUATED!
13 days...Let's see how much I can accomplish.
meanwhile, Blogging might become less frequent...unless neccessary...
to chilled out or something...
something like what I am doing now.
260505
He likes me...
He likes me not...
He likes me...
He likes me not...
He likes me...
He likes me not...
Actually..I am not interested anymore.
Not that I dun like him anymore.
But it has come to that point of saturation
where the the sensation has make me too numb...
So numb that I am no longer excited.
So numb that I can jump out of myself and see the whole situation as a third party.
That is the advantage of someone who has schizophrenia tendency...
Or..my friends would probably be mumbling
"Not that serious lah..maybe just split personality"
And...it is back to normal for me actually.
I know I am normal when I start to think.
And when I think...I will make my point clear.
Yesterday, we had our first disagreement.
We are arguing for the first time about something.
Couldn't even remember what it was...but i remember the actual conversation.
It goes...
"Could be."he said.
"It is."I said insistingly.
"Could be"he said again.
"It is."...I said firmly.
And he said finally..."yah..it is. "
"Good."...I rest my case.
It was a silly disagreement I know.
But it only shows that i am not agreeing with watever he says now.
At least now...some of the things he did might be wrong.
LAst week...everything he did was right.
Can you people out there see my point.
I am no longer obsess with him.
Affirmative.
I am myself again.
Nice feeling.
250505
He likes me not...
He likes me...
He likes me not...
He likes me...
He likes me not...
Actually..I am not interested anymore.
Not that I dun like him anymore.
But it has come to that point of saturation
where the the sensation has make me too numb...
So numb that I am no longer excited.
So numb that I can jump out of myself and see the whole situation as a third party.
That is the advantage of someone who has schizophrenia tendency...
Or..my friends would probably be mumbling
"Not that serious lah..maybe just split personality"
And...it is back to normal for me actually.
I know I am normal when I start to think.
And when I think...I will make my point clear.
Yesterday, we had our first disagreement.
We are arguing for the first time about something.
Couldn't even remember what it was...but i remember the actual conversation.
It goes...
"Could be."he said.
"It is."I said insistingly.
"Could be"he said again.
"It is."...I said firmly.
And he said finally..."yah..it is. "
"Good."...I rest my case.
It was a silly disagreement I know.
But it only shows that i am not agreeing with watever he says now.
At least now...some of the things he did might be wrong.
LAst week...everything he did was right.
Can you people out there see my point.
I am no longer obsess with him.
Affirmative.
I am myself again.
Nice feeling.
250505
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