Facebook Again...

I have been very resistance against facebook for a while...
I did not want to join any friends network online...
I forgot the reason why...
until I am going through my potential friends list...
and I see someone I never wanted to see again.

I remember one of the reasons for my resistance...

I know somehow...he might just be one of them in the network.
I wanted to avoid...seeing him again...even online..
I actually am afraid...he will find me.

That's all.

Facebook

I am finally on FACEBOOK...
A network a lot of my friends have been pestering me to join...
And I use PESTER...becos they really do it on a mental level and cyber way...

When i am finally on it...

I thought...what a waste of life.

It looks fun though...
I suspect I couldn't escape the fate to spend some N-hours of time in the future on yet another cyber reason to keep up my cyber image...


But ,I am too tired to build any thing as yet.

My own life is in a mess...
These network just seem too superficial for now...
like another friendster to a higher level...

I found the best friend whom I am losing on FAcebook...and send her a poke...
In the hope that...maybe this shall be the new way for us to interact in the future...
Without taking up her time...and me feeling guilty.
If that is the only way now.

I will try anything.

I am that desperate now.

If she ever realise it.

I am not complaining...I am lamenting.

I wanted to stress that...this thing call friendship.
I am not blaming anyone for how things developed.

I am not complaining...

I AM LAMENTING.

Showing griefs....and airing sadness...

If you feel I am being over-sensitive...

It is because this friendship is very important to me...

Regardless...no point in clarifying...

She never reads my blog anyway.

This thing call Friendship.

Friendship.
A very fragile relationship...
That can be easily dilute and broken by time and distance.
Yet, the biggest factor to change it...is choice.

As in...how important you feel u need to spend your time on it.


Some friends...are always there in your life...
While some fade away with time.
When you leave your school...
When you leave a job...
When you get married...

You make convenient new friends...and forget the old...
You make friends who lives close to you...and forget those far away...
Who can blame that...human beings are lazy...I am too.

Yet, recently...
I am sad.
I actually find myself tongue-tied when I want to honestly tell a best friend that I felt left out by her...since she get married...
I tried...like i used to...to try to catch up on the phone...
but each time...it gets more and more difficult...
It was to a point I was so reluctant to call yet...made the call because I know...
If I do not call her...she will usually not call me.
I thought...maybe she is busy...but I am not.
If she can't catch up with me...I can catch up with her...
Yet...I think I am losing it...
Nowadays...I even feel guilty that I might be imposing her life...
No matter how friendly she sounded on the phone like she used to be...
I always have to hang up...feeling very sorry that I interrupted her life...
She is that busy...or I am too free.

She once said " Family is family..."...I understand...but what about friends?
Isn't friends still friends?

I can be understanding...yet I also understand...if this goes on...that is about it.

This thing call friendship...
Is like any other relationship...

needs to be water like a plant...

Take it for granted and leave unattended...

Is a choice.

That's about it.

This thing call friendship.