At first...I was just trying to save money and check out the websites for train fares from chiangmai to Hat yai....and then take a cheap fare flight from hat yai to singapore...
Then I realise it can be really cheap to do the whole thing overland...
and for a 2nd class-sleeper...chiangmai to singapore...
It only cost about $140 singdollars...
which is only like...£46..
And it will take about roughly 3 days 2 night to reach singapore in all...
while it will take $195 for a direct flight of 3 hours from chiangmai to singapore...
And regarding the matter of time....time is my biggest asset now...compare to money...
And I can stop and travel malaysia and thailand??..
Well...I am tempted...really...
And guess what....
something that i have expected....
My brother had done this chiangmai-singapore overland thingy many years ago already....and nothing new to him....
Actually...if i am from singapore...
I can take the singapore-chinagmai overland....
then by bus...to Laos or burma???..
then can take boat up the mekong river to yunnan...
then within china up tp shanghai....
then take a cruise over to japan....
which again...is something what my brother had done many years ago...
But then...it will only be exciting if I try myself....
So exciting...
Anyway...today's mood rating....6.5...
it was only 6 at first....the 0.5 is extra bonus becos i cook my first dish for the family....and feel proud....
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
And I still fail...
I search online for solution...
Roughly I get the idea...
that I have to upload the image to a website with an URL...
then using this link to post the image on my blog...
OR...upload the image with dreamweaver...
and blah blah...a bit confused though...
But i will keep learning...
Anyway...
I am happy today becos of the rain...
temperature drops...and my heart lightened...
I would say....I feel so much better then yesterday...
if yesterday mood is rated as 5.5...
then today would be....7.
I am actually looking forward to wake up today...
I actually look forward...
This seems to be a good start...
I have been trying very hard to shake off my desire to talk to him everyday....and though I fail...
but i can see that i am imporving each day...
Hopefully one day...I will only be happy when i think of him...
think of him as a happy memory...
Wish everybody have a nice day...
Roughly I get the idea...
that I have to upload the image to a website with an URL...
then using this link to post the image on my blog...
OR...upload the image with dreamweaver...
and blah blah...a bit confused though...
But i will keep learning...
Anyway...
I am happy today becos of the rain...
temperature drops...and my heart lightened...
I would say....I feel so much better then yesterday...
if yesterday mood is rated as 5.5...
then today would be....7.
I am actually looking forward to wake up today...
I actually look forward...
This seems to be a good start...
I have been trying very hard to shake off my desire to talk to him everyday....and though I fail...
but i can see that i am imporving each day...
Hopefully one day...I will only be happy when i think of him...
think of him as a happy memory...
Wish everybody have a nice day...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Let me explain what I am trying to test below...
I am trying out how to make animated image with my Adobe Image ready...
Then...at first i save as psd(photoshop)----->dun work....then I save as html---->fail , then saved as gif...thought will work finally...but turn out to be a still image....
so the below is suppose to be blinking...
BLINKING!!!!!
Urgghhhh...!
Anyway...I will try again...
Wait and see!
Then...at first i save as psd(photoshop)----->dun work....then I save as html---->fail , then saved as gif...thought will work finally...but turn out to be a still image....
so the below is suppose to be blinking...
BLINKING!!!!!
Urgghhhh...!
Anyway...I will try again...
Wait and see!
Love da rain...
Yes yes yes!!!!! finally....
Chiangmai is finally raining....
The first ever....since the day I arrived, like 2 months ago....
This could just be my happiest day in Chiangmai...
Love IT!...
Love da rain....
And missed him.
Chiangmai is finally raining....
The first ever....since the day I arrived, like 2 months ago....
This could just be my happiest day in Chiangmai...
Love IT!...
Love da rain....
And missed him.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Last photo...for today's photo blog...
One of my favourite pictures... I was uploading pictures from my digi-cam this afternoon...
realise there are some nice pictures
to "show off" my life here in Chiangmai...
and the things seen from my eyes...
EnJoy...
Many Many photos...
Thapae walk street every sunday night....
On my way walking to Walai...
One of those walks around the neighbourhood...
Bus stop?!?!??!...
MoRe mOre pHotOs...
During the Flower festival...
During the chinese new year....
Man on the street...MoRe PhOtos!!
Let's go shopping....
This is our shopping basket....
A pick-up full of cabbages...
15 baht per bag of cabbage....15baht is about $0.60(singdollar)...
£0.20(Sterling pound)...
Look at her smile...
Sunday, March 26, 2006
A few days ago..
I was really angry and upset that day...
When my brother and I had a big quarrel...
As usual...it was a case of misjustice...
I wasn't able to rebute...
becos I was too angry and was crying...I couldn't speak...
My brother accuse me of being irresponsible and selfish...
and did not think of the family...
And what was even annoying is that...
The quarrel was started becos I was trying to tell my brother to respect people's choices....
And he start to say nasty things to me...saying that I have been very irresponsible to the family...blah blah...not at home....blah blah...
He was only with the family for half a year...let's say one year...while I am away...
But I have been with the family for the so many years while he is away....
He complains that I am not contributing to the family...
I did...when he is not around...I was the one who pays all the phone bills and electrical bills...
I never complained about him...
I respect his wish to do anything....
BUT HE DID NOT RESPECT ME.
And the only person in the world who can say i am irresponsible is my second brother...becos he is the only one who is always with the family all the while...
BUt he respect ME...and my wishes...
In this case...there is nothing more I can say...
I dun intend to show off like him...and make it a point to annouce that he is working hard for the family...and how noble he is...
I worked hard for the family too...he dun have to know...
But I want to use my own way...
He says I am selfish and do not want to work for the family base on the fact that I do not want to stay in thailand...
But the truth is...
I DO NOT WANT TO BE INVOLVE IN ANY OF HIS BUSINESS VENTURE...
BECOS in the point of view of an investor...
he is NOT WORTH INVESTING...
And also...I do not work well with him...
A business partner who do not know simple respect is not worth working with...
Moreover...if it is going to be a family business....
It is only going to make my life miserable...
becos he is only going to be tyranic...and dictating...
His way of doing business DO NOT see eye to eye with my working style.
There are just too many reason for me NOT to stay and be involve in the family business...
yet he do not see all these...
And it is no point for me to stay here anymore...
Let him assume things...
I am not interested to clarify any thing...
becos it will be useless....he will just be unreasonable and start making accusation and say nasty things...that is his way to cover up his own guilty conscience...
everything he did is noble...and everything other people do is SHIT...
So yah...that's all....
I wish everybody is happy....
When my brother and I had a big quarrel...
As usual...it was a case of misjustice...
I wasn't able to rebute...
becos I was too angry and was crying...I couldn't speak...
My brother accuse me of being irresponsible and selfish...
and did not think of the family...
And what was even annoying is that...
The quarrel was started becos I was trying to tell my brother to respect people's choices....
And he start to say nasty things to me...saying that I have been very irresponsible to the family...blah blah...not at home....blah blah...
He was only with the family for half a year...let's say one year...while I am away...
But I have been with the family for the so many years while he is away....
He complains that I am not contributing to the family...
I did...when he is not around...I was the one who pays all the phone bills and electrical bills...
I never complained about him...
I respect his wish to do anything....
BUT HE DID NOT RESPECT ME.
And the only person in the world who can say i am irresponsible is my second brother...becos he is the only one who is always with the family all the while...
BUt he respect ME...and my wishes...
In this case...there is nothing more I can say...
I dun intend to show off like him...and make it a point to annouce that he is working hard for the family...and how noble he is...
I worked hard for the family too...he dun have to know...
But I want to use my own way...
He says I am selfish and do not want to work for the family base on the fact that I do not want to stay in thailand...
But the truth is...
I DO NOT WANT TO BE INVOLVE IN ANY OF HIS BUSINESS VENTURE...
BECOS in the point of view of an investor...
he is NOT WORTH INVESTING...
And also...I do not work well with him...
A business partner who do not know simple respect is not worth working with...
Moreover...if it is going to be a family business....
It is only going to make my life miserable...
becos he is only going to be tyranic...and dictating...
His way of doing business DO NOT see eye to eye with my working style.
There are just too many reason for me NOT to stay and be involve in the family business...
yet he do not see all these...
And it is no point for me to stay here anymore...
Let him assume things...
I am not interested to clarify any thing...
becos it will be useless....he will just be unreasonable and start making accusation and say nasty things...that is his way to cover up his own guilty conscience...
everything he did is noble...and everything other people do is SHIT...
So yah...that's all....
I wish everybody is happy....
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Dentist!
Today is my last appointment to see the dentist...
It was always scary...even though I always manage to walk out of the dental clinic alive...I couldn't say it was a painless experience...
It was painful.
And scary....
That is why the dentist always put a cloth over my eyes...so that i won't be seeing what kind of tool she is using in my mouth...
But the sound...those drailing sound is enuff to make your imagination run wild...
And worse of all...I always always very tired after every dental appointment becos I was so tense...
All my muscle will ache after the each session...
Even though the pain is really no big deal...
But the fear of pain....is worse than the pain itself...
People who haven't been to a dentist for more than 2 years...
and haven't been brushing and flossing your teeth diligently....
My advice is...see a dentist while your teeth is still healthy and give it a good scrub...dun wait until it start to ache...
Mine was not even aching...and the dentist's head is already shaking...
It was always scary...even though I always manage to walk out of the dental clinic alive...I couldn't say it was a painless experience...
It was painful.
And scary....
That is why the dentist always put a cloth over my eyes...so that i won't be seeing what kind of tool she is using in my mouth...
But the sound...those drailing sound is enuff to make your imagination run wild...
And worse of all...I always always very tired after every dental appointment becos I was so tense...
All my muscle will ache after the each session...
Even though the pain is really no big deal...
But the fear of pain....is worse than the pain itself...
People who haven't been to a dentist for more than 2 years...
and haven't been brushing and flossing your teeth diligently....
My advice is...see a dentist while your teeth is still healthy and give it a good scrub...dun wait until it start to ache...
Mine was not even aching...and the dentist's head is already shaking...
Yesterday...
Yesterday is one of the rare day that I slept early at around 1am plus...and woke up the next day at 1pm...a whole 12 hours of sleep...and slept again in the afternoon from 5pm plus...till 8pm....
Sleep and sleep...at least it broke the cycle of me not sleeping in the middle of the night...
But i shouldn't be too happy ...
Becos I am wide awake now...
and who knows when i am going to sleep...
And i am also happy that...i slept well becos I am NOt thinking of him...
I am too tired to think of him...
Anyway....
Yah...have a nice day everybody..
Sleep and sleep...at least it broke the cycle of me not sleeping in the middle of the night...
But i shouldn't be too happy ...
Becos I am wide awake now...
and who knows when i am going to sleep...
And i am also happy that...i slept well becos I am NOt thinking of him...
I am too tired to think of him...
Anyway....
Yah...have a nice day everybody..
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Time to let go and leave...
Nothing more to say...
but time to let go and leave...
Nothing to prove,
wish everybody happy.
but time to let go and leave...
Nothing to prove,
wish everybody happy.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
To the dentist!!!...
Have been visiting the dentist very regularly every Wednesday and Friday....
And actually look forward to every visit...at least it will fill up my day...in such a way that I will wake up earlier than usual...and walk to the dentist...
and spend an hour roughly each time to fix my teeth...
This is already the 4th appointment...
But today...my teeth...is ULtra sensitive after the filling...
fills weird...not painful...
but weird...so weird that i dun have the confident to chew my food properly...
I hope my tooth will get better tomolo...
Dear tooth fairy...please bless me.
and 3 more appointment to go...and i will have a full set of healthy beautiful teeth...can't wait...
And actually look forward to every visit...at least it will fill up my day...in such a way that I will wake up earlier than usual...and walk to the dentist...
and spend an hour roughly each time to fix my teeth...
This is already the 4th appointment...
But today...my teeth...is ULtra sensitive after the filling...
fills weird...not painful...
but weird...so weird that i dun have the confident to chew my food properly...
I hope my tooth will get better tomolo...
Dear tooth fairy...please bless me.
and 3 more appointment to go...and i will have a full set of healthy beautiful teeth...can't wait...
Budapest Recap!
This was an article I read on the plane on my way to budapest...thought it was interesting and wanted to share this with you all...
Reminded me of my obsession over the Euromillion rollover craze in my UK days...
But had long forgotten about it until i show this sets of photo to my mum a few days ago...and remember it...
Please comment...
HELLO!!!....everybody out there...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT...on my blog...say something...
I know I am boring and keeps repeating the same old moaning...
But...let me know you all are out there somewhere...
Scold me...criticise me...laugh at me...watever
SAY SOMETHING!
I feel like I am talking to myself...
Hate this feeling....
HATE IT!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT...on my blog...say something...
I know I am boring and keeps repeating the same old moaning...
But...let me know you all are out there somewhere...
Scold me...criticise me...laugh at me...watever
SAY SOMETHING!
I feel like I am talking to myself...
Hate this feeling....
HATE IT!
A matter of time....
I was feeling sad again that day....
I have a feeling we will never meet again...
even if we do...I am only a friend to him...and nothing more...
Heart breaking.
Not in the mood anymore...
I need to make myself really busy....
I hate myself for loving him...
Hope time will heal...
I have a feeling we will never meet again...
even if we do...I am only a friend to him...and nothing more...
Heart breaking.
Not in the mood anymore...
I need to make myself really busy....
I hate myself for loving him...
Hope time will heal...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
SHIT!!
I type and type and accidentally press a wrong key...and lost my entire post...
and i shall just continue what i have writing without filling up the detail that is lost...becos nobody seem to be reading anyway...
*****
I dun noe how to continue and where to go..what to do...
I told them that i plan to study...plan to work overseas...
go back to singapore...go UK...blah blah...
But...JM says...those are maybe just some of the things I try to think of to do...but may not be the real thing I want to do...or else i would have just do it already...
Indeed...What do i want...
Mr Lim says..."if i were you...i would have gone traveling..."
it struck me...becos...yes..i do want to travel....but what comes after that?
i still have to make a choice...
OHHHH!.....
i was actually happy at the end of the night....when i show my mum my work...
i wanted to do art...
my art about my life...but i always hesitate...becos of this question people always ask me..."what makes you think people is interested in your life...you are nobody..."
By the way....there is something i really want to do....
I want to see him....
can this be considered as what i want??
oh well...
have a nice day everyone.
and i shall just continue what i have writing without filling up the detail that is lost...becos nobody seem to be reading anyway...
*****
I dun noe how to continue and where to go..what to do...
I told them that i plan to study...plan to work overseas...
go back to singapore...go UK...blah blah...
But...JM says...those are maybe just some of the things I try to think of to do...but may not be the real thing I want to do...or else i would have just do it already...
Indeed...What do i want...
Mr Lim says..."if i were you...i would have gone traveling..."
it struck me...becos...yes..i do want to travel....but what comes after that?
i still have to make a choice...
OHHHH!.....
i was actually happy at the end of the night....when i show my mum my work...
i wanted to do art...
my art about my life...but i always hesitate...becos of this question people always ask me..."what makes you think people is interested in your life...you are nobody..."
By the way....there is something i really want to do....
I want to see him....
can this be considered as what i want??
oh well...
have a nice day everyone.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
SIZE MATTER!
OF COURSE SIZE MATTER...
For a woman living in this distorted world...
Being fat, plump or simply voluptious is a SIN.
Then I made a discovery while traveling between UK, singapore and thailand...
And I call it....The relativity of SIZE.
Ladies out there...
It is time to learn the truth...
Size is relative.
Which means...being a S(small), M(medium), L(large) is NOT definite.
Singapore Size
I am a Medium-Large(M-L) in Singapore...
My boobs will sometimes be M or L depending on the cutting of the clothes or dress...
and my bums is always L...so basically I am a PEAR SHAPE...my friend once commented I am quite "voluptious"...which erm...thanks...I know you all are just being kind...
My bra size(ok folks...just keep this to yourself...)
In singapore...I will buy 80-B(usually)...and QX actually asked me once if I have ever considered a breast-reduction...a WHAT?....no no no...no thanks
I love myself..whatever I am.
UK size
Sorry UK gals...
It is a FACT...that all of you UK girls out there are generally BIGGER in size..
and hence the clothing industry have to adjust to the market trend and produce bigger-size clothes but with undersize label...
Also...they have different labelling system...like size 8, size 10, size 12...size 14..up to size 20 and more...
Size 8 is small...10-12 is medium...14-16 is LARGE..
I am always around size 10-12...
and can wear a size 10 confortably...but sometimes will choose a size 12 becos I like loose clothing...
In UK...I am considered...small-build...
and my boobs are just average or even less than average..
Bra size..
I was a bit surprised that I fit into an 80-A...and 80-B is erm...a bit loose...
Thailand size
Shopping for clothes can be a very traumatising experience...
Or...WORST than traumatising...
it kills all your hopes and joys and destroy you confident...
Yes...they can be DAMN CHEAP...
but what is the point when you can buy as many as you want...
but none of them is your size...
I was shopping one day...saw a nice T-shirt...
but thought it was too tiny...
It was size S...fair enough...S is suppose to be tiny...
fumble about and saw size M...
And...er...still to small...
Size L....something is not right...even though L is larger...but...still SMALL...
and eventually...I tight-fittingly fit into an X-L(extra-large)
which i suspect it's X-L is UK size 8.
DAMN!
And the few embaressing moments...
Once i was at a night market...saw a blouse...was told it was a free size..
try it on...and couldn't button up...
Went into a shop and wanted to buy a dress....
and their shop...DUN HAVE MY SIZE....
The worst of all...
Only the foreign import shops from UK, France and Italy have my size...
which sells clothes as expensive as you can find in UK...in THAI BAHT..which one blouse can cost as expensive as a Thai's one month pay.
while ALL thai-operated shops...DO NOT HAVE MY SIZE...
the only two thai shops with clothes that I can fit into...
One is a shop that specially sell big size clothes for big woman...
the other...IS A MATERNITY CLOTHES SHOP...
I walked into a shop naively and saw a size 38...and thought that is my size...
BUT...size 38 in Thailand is actually a SMALL in singapore...
The lady SHAKE HER HEAD...and say to me in broken-english.."too big"
and took out her measuring tape...to measure my bustline..."too big..."
and measure the dress to show me I was indeed too big for all the dress in her shop...
I gave up shopping for clothes in Thailand...
It is even more depressing than doing nothing in thailand...
Thai girls are generally very slim..VERY VERY SLIM...
my size..is like the size of a married woman with a lot of kids to them...
In another words...I AM FAT HERE.
My Bra size...expectedly...
80-C.
I wish I am in Africa now...
Maybe they will think I am TOO SKINNY...
So folks...
SIZE...DOES MATTER.
In the sense...your size is you...
and be proud of who you are...
Or....should I say...size Doesn't matter...
becos they are relative....
wherever you go....
as long as you learn to love yourself...
Although I constantly say i wanted to go on diet...
that is really for health purposes and
I know I can be healthier by controlling my weight...
also becos so that I can look more proportion and pleasant...
But I am always proud of my 80-A-B-C...
wherever it goes...
and my size S-M-L-XL...
becos that is me.
For a woman living in this distorted world...
Being fat, plump or simply voluptious is a SIN.
Then I made a discovery while traveling between UK, singapore and thailand...
And I call it....The relativity of SIZE.
Ladies out there...
It is time to learn the truth...
Size is relative.
Which means...being a S(small), M(medium), L(large) is NOT definite.
Singapore Size
I am a Medium-Large(M-L) in Singapore...
My boobs will sometimes be M or L depending on the cutting of the clothes or dress...
and my bums is always L...so basically I am a PEAR SHAPE...my friend once commented I am quite "voluptious"...which erm...thanks...I know you all are just being kind...
My bra size(ok folks...just keep this to yourself...)
In singapore...I will buy 80-B(usually)...and QX actually asked me once if I have ever considered a breast-reduction...a WHAT?....no no no...no thanks
I love myself..whatever I am.
UK size
Sorry UK gals...
It is a FACT...that all of you UK girls out there are generally BIGGER in size..
and hence the clothing industry have to adjust to the market trend and produce bigger-size clothes but with undersize label...
Also...they have different labelling system...like size 8, size 10, size 12...size 14..up to size 20 and more...
Size 8 is small...10-12 is medium...14-16 is LARGE..
I am always around size 10-12...
and can wear a size 10 confortably...but sometimes will choose a size 12 becos I like loose clothing...
In UK...I am considered...small-build...
and my boobs are just average or even less than average..
Bra size..
I was a bit surprised that I fit into an 80-A...and 80-B is erm...a bit loose...
Thailand size
Shopping for clothes can be a very traumatising experience...
Or...WORST than traumatising...
it kills all your hopes and joys and destroy you confident...
Yes...they can be DAMN CHEAP...
but what is the point when you can buy as many as you want...
but none of them is your size...
I was shopping one day...saw a nice T-shirt...
but thought it was too tiny...
It was size S...fair enough...S is suppose to be tiny...
fumble about and saw size M...
And...er...still to small...
Size L....something is not right...even though L is larger...but...still SMALL...
and eventually...I tight-fittingly fit into an X-L(extra-large)
which i suspect it's X-L is UK size 8.
DAMN!
And the few embaressing moments...
Once i was at a night market...saw a blouse...was told it was a free size..
try it on...and couldn't button up...
Went into a shop and wanted to buy a dress....
and their shop...DUN HAVE MY SIZE....
The worst of all...
Only the foreign import shops from UK, France and Italy have my size...
which sells clothes as expensive as you can find in UK...in THAI BAHT..which one blouse can cost as expensive as a Thai's one month pay.
while ALL thai-operated shops...DO NOT HAVE MY SIZE...
the only two thai shops with clothes that I can fit into...
One is a shop that specially sell big size clothes for big woman...
the other...IS A MATERNITY CLOTHES SHOP...
I walked into a shop naively and saw a size 38...and thought that is my size...
BUT...size 38 in Thailand is actually a SMALL in singapore...
The lady SHAKE HER HEAD...and say to me in broken-english.."too big"
and took out her measuring tape...to measure my bustline..."too big..."
and measure the dress to show me I was indeed too big for all the dress in her shop...
I gave up shopping for clothes in Thailand...
It is even more depressing than doing nothing in thailand...
Thai girls are generally very slim..VERY VERY SLIM...
my size..is like the size of a married woman with a lot of kids to them...
In another words...I AM FAT HERE.
My Bra size...expectedly...
80-C.
I wish I am in Africa now...
Maybe they will think I am TOO SKINNY...
So folks...
SIZE...DOES MATTER.
In the sense...your size is you...
and be proud of who you are...
Or....should I say...size Doesn't matter...
becos they are relative....
wherever you go....
as long as you learn to love yourself...
Although I constantly say i wanted to go on diet...
that is really for health purposes and
I know I can be healthier by controlling my weight...
also becos so that I can look more proportion and pleasant...
But I am always proud of my 80-A-B-C...
wherever it goes...
and my size S-M-L-XL...
becos that is me.
Root canal treatment....
I have this tooth with quite a deep hole...which needs filling I thought...
and went to the dentist...
thinking if it is cheap...I will do a full clean up as I haven't been to adentist for years and years...
But my plan was ruin...
when the doctor say...
He is unable to perform simple filling up becoe my tooth is in such a bad condition that only a ROOT CANAL treatment can solve the bad tooth...
and he also pointed out I have other teeth which also need filling...and my teeth doesn't look healthy...
he shakes his head while digging out all the cavities...
as if he saw worms crawling in and out the teeth...
I am determine to FIX my teeth and make them perfect...
so that I can eat as many food in the future...
and be more confident if i were to kiss anyone in the future...
Beautiful life begans with healthy teeth....
Ah...sounds like a good slogan for dentist...
But but....according to some of my friends...
root canal treatment...HURTS!
BAd news.
030306
and went to the dentist...
thinking if it is cheap...I will do a full clean up as I haven't been to adentist for years and years...
But my plan was ruin...
when the doctor say...
He is unable to perform simple filling up becoe my tooth is in such a bad condition that only a ROOT CANAL treatment can solve the bad tooth...
and he also pointed out I have other teeth which also need filling...and my teeth doesn't look healthy...
he shakes his head while digging out all the cavities...
as if he saw worms crawling in and out the teeth...
I am determine to FIX my teeth and make them perfect...
so that I can eat as many food in the future...
and be more confident if i were to kiss anyone in the future...
Beautiful life begans with healthy teeth....
Ah...sounds like a good slogan for dentist...
But but....according to some of my friends...
root canal treatment...HURTS!
BAd news.
030306
Friday, March 03, 2006
3 things that bites...
There are basically 3 things that bites in my family...
1. The most irritating...
are the mosquitoes...
They are simply everywhere...
According to my experience...
Active area
around the basin...
the toilets...
behind the curtain...
and on the mirrors...
I notice they love kissing themselves on mirrors...
Active time ...
is around at night , most active between 2am till 7am...
The most irritating is that they will hover around you...
regardless of whether they wanna bite you...
and finally...when opportunity struck...
They bite you and leave you an itchy mark for days...
Not something too serious...
BUT DEFINITELY IRRITATING...
Solution
YOU KILL THEM before they SUCK UP YOUR BLOOD!
With the help of an electro-racket which will electrify and kills mosquitoes...
my family owns 2 of such power tool...and kills mosquito like TERMINATORS!...
My father and I will take turns to RAID their hideout and WIPE OUT!
That is one of my favourite activity here...my most ruthless hobby so far.
2. The most annoying...
are the ants...
they are everywhere like the mosquitoes but in a less obvious way...
they will only be visible when food is around...
they will queue up and form a long long queue....
Active areas are...kitchen table...
living-room table...
basin bin...
cups,bowls,...
Active time...
when they accidentally landed on you...
while you pick up a ant-infested item...
they will crawl all over you....
and bites you
and the bite...
is more deadly...than the mosquitoes...
which takes a longer time to heal and so much more itchy and PAINFUL...
and ANNOYING!Could be active ANYTIME. Sometimes found crawling alone on sofas and chairs...was once found in a bag of rice...
Solution
But the good thing is...they will disappear when you clear up the food...
and they disappear as fast as they appear...
Is a good way to force us to clean up the mess and get rid of them..
For cases when found in bas of rice...open up the rice to sun....and ants will disperse...for lone cases...smash them with ur thumb when they BITE!
3. The third and most disgusting
is...my family dog...
Oh yeah...he BITES...
and he chews...
Active area...
In terms of indoor...toilet...
and under the kitchen table...
and living room sofa...
Outdoor..around the cooking area
the car parking area...
at the gate...
clothes drying area...
at night...
he works like a sercurity guard and do guard duty around the house...
Active time...
Definitely during the enter and exit time between the gate...
when my father drive home and he will FOR SURE STAND AT THE GATE....
to stand by...whoever opens the gate....he will attack...
his style...
is to stand on two legs and and scratches you, bite you, chew you...
during free hours...he will loiter around ur work area...and huant you, bite away your tools...
steal clothes from the drying area...when you finish hanging clothes...
steal food when you dun notice...
sneak into the house and lay on the sofa to watch TV...
sneak into the toilet to drink water from the toliet bowl..
hide under the table and snatch food from the table...
Solution...
Close kitchen back door and house side door...
to prevent him from entering the house to prevent him creating havoc indoor..
If unfortunately he manage to sneak in...
Close the toliet door..
Lift trashbin to prevent him for chewing rubbish
came home with food...and lure him away when opening gate...
so that he will not attack the person who closes the gate...but follows the person with food...
His bite is not deadly...scratch might leave scars...
but could be disgusting when he chews your hair right after he lick up the water from the toilet bowl....VERY VERY DISGUSTING!
Finally...it is important to TRAIN HIM....WHACK HIM! and feed him properly so that he dun steal food. ANd play with him so that he won't feel bored and disturb you..
1. The most irritating...
are the mosquitoes...
They are simply everywhere...
According to my experience...
Active area
around the basin...
the toilets...
behind the curtain...
and on the mirrors...
I notice they love kissing themselves on mirrors...
Active time ...
is around at night , most active between 2am till 7am...
The most irritating is that they will hover around you...
regardless of whether they wanna bite you...
and finally...when opportunity struck...
They bite you and leave you an itchy mark for days...
Not something too serious...
BUT DEFINITELY IRRITATING...
Solution
YOU KILL THEM before they SUCK UP YOUR BLOOD!
With the help of an electro-racket which will electrify and kills mosquitoes...
my family owns 2 of such power tool...and kills mosquito like TERMINATORS!...
My father and I will take turns to RAID their hideout and WIPE OUT!
That is one of my favourite activity here...my most ruthless hobby so far.
2. The most annoying...
are the ants...
they are everywhere like the mosquitoes but in a less obvious way...
they will only be visible when food is around...
they will queue up and form a long long queue....
Active areas are...kitchen table...
living-room table...
basin bin...
cups,bowls,...
Active time...
when they accidentally landed on you...
while you pick up a ant-infested item...
they will crawl all over you....
and bites you
and the bite...
is more deadly...than the mosquitoes...
which takes a longer time to heal and so much more itchy and PAINFUL...
and ANNOYING!Could be active ANYTIME. Sometimes found crawling alone on sofas and chairs...was once found in a bag of rice...
Solution
But the good thing is...they will disappear when you clear up the food...
and they disappear as fast as they appear...
Is a good way to force us to clean up the mess and get rid of them..
For cases when found in bas of rice...open up the rice to sun....and ants will disperse...for lone cases...smash them with ur thumb when they BITE!
3. The third and most disgusting
is...my family dog...
Oh yeah...he BITES...
and he chews...
Active area...
In terms of indoor...toilet...
and under the kitchen table...
and living room sofa...
Outdoor..around the cooking area
the car parking area...
at the gate...
clothes drying area...
at night...
he works like a sercurity guard and do guard duty around the house...
Active time...
Definitely during the enter and exit time between the gate...
when my father drive home and he will FOR SURE STAND AT THE GATE....
to stand by...whoever opens the gate....he will attack...
his style...
is to stand on two legs and and scratches you, bite you, chew you...
during free hours...he will loiter around ur work area...and huant you, bite away your tools...
steal clothes from the drying area...when you finish hanging clothes...
steal food when you dun notice...
sneak into the house and lay on the sofa to watch TV...
sneak into the toilet to drink water from the toliet bowl..
hide under the table and snatch food from the table...
Solution...
Close kitchen back door and house side door...
to prevent him from entering the house to prevent him creating havoc indoor..
If unfortunately he manage to sneak in...
Close the toliet door..
Lift trashbin to prevent him for chewing rubbish
came home with food...and lure him away when opening gate...
so that he will not attack the person who closes the gate...but follows the person with food...
His bite is not deadly...scratch might leave scars...
but could be disgusting when he chews your hair right after he lick up the water from the toilet bowl....VERY VERY DISGUSTING!
Finally...it is important to TRAIN HIM....WHACK HIM! and feed him properly so that he dun steal food. ANd play with him so that he won't feel bored and disturb you..
Be careful what you wish for...
Yes yes yes...Please be VERY CAREFUL...
For instance...
I wish to DO NOTHING.
That was my well-known wish...
And now...I DO NOTHING....
But I am depressed...
I wish to be in loved...
And I was...
But suffer a broken heart...
I wish to have internet access...
But in the end...
I get more depress when i dun see anyone else one online...
I wish to have a lot of free time...
I end up wasting my time...
And feels guilty...
I wish that I lose weight...
In the end...
I got food poisoning and lost a lot of weight...
I wish I wish...
Maybe I should be more specific...
Like wish that I am carefree and healthy and do the things I love and be happy and motivated spending time happily with the man I love who also loves me...living in our own house and do not have to worry about money...
Ahh....maybe i shouldn't wish for anything...
If I want something...I WORKED FOR IT!
For instance...
I wish to DO NOTHING.
That was my well-known wish...
And now...I DO NOTHING....
But I am depressed...
I wish to be in loved...
And I was...
But suffer a broken heart...
I wish to have internet access...
But in the end...
I get more depress when i dun see anyone else one online...
I wish to have a lot of free time...
I end up wasting my time...
And feels guilty...
I wish that I lose weight...
In the end...
I got food poisoning and lost a lot of weight...
I wish I wish...
Maybe I should be more specific...
Like wish that I am carefree and healthy and do the things I love and be happy and motivated spending time happily with the man I love who also loves me...living in our own house and do not have to worry about money...
Ahh....maybe i shouldn't wish for anything...
If I want something...I WORKED FOR IT!
Monday, February 27, 2006
5 seconds of happiness...
He was finally online yesterday night..for like 5 seconds...
And I was happy enough...even though he apparently forgot my birthday...
It was not important anymore...
***********************
I dun like this kind of dependency I have for him...
Makes me uncontrollably sad and happy....
I like my old peaceful self...not happy nor sad...
just contented and peaceful...
I want my old self back...
**********************
But I will keep trying....
Until I am myself again...
I will keep trying...
*************************
And I was happy enough...even though he apparently forgot my birthday...
It was not important anymore...
***********************
I dun like this kind of dependency I have for him...
Makes me uncontrollably sad and happy....
I like my old peaceful self...not happy nor sad...
just contented and peaceful...
I want my old self back...
**********************
But I will keep trying....
Until I am myself again...
I will keep trying...
*************************
I wish...
Today...is my birthday...
which is going to be over soon...in 10 minutes time...
My only happiness for the day...a pair of silver earrings I bought from the night market which I knew was overpriced but I liked it since 3 weeks ago...
yet I was criticise by my brother(which I have expected him to do so...)for being stupid...
Today was yet another day...
And the thing that I really wished for...is to chat with him online...
regardless of whether he remembers my birthday....
One more minute....and this sad day will be over...
Since my wish is not going to come true anyway....
Maybe I should make another wish for the whole year...
I just wish to be happy.
Be happy.
Please....let me be happy.
Somebody...make me happy please.
which is going to be over soon...in 10 minutes time...
My only happiness for the day...a pair of silver earrings I bought from the night market which I knew was overpriced but I liked it since 3 weeks ago...
yet I was criticise by my brother(which I have expected him to do so...)for being stupid...
Today was yet another day...
And the thing that I really wished for...is to chat with him online...
regardless of whether he remembers my birthday....
One more minute....and this sad day will be over...
Since my wish is not going to come true anyway....
Maybe I should make another wish for the whole year...
I just wish to be happy.
Be happy.
Please....let me be happy.
Somebody...make me happy please.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Happy Birthday to Me...
One minute past 12am...
It is 26th Febuary 2006 now in Thailand...
I am glad that at least 4 people remembers my birthday...
As far as I remembers...my last birthday was my working day...and my ex-boss shares the same birthday....at least it was a happy day...
Today...I am not sad...but not particularly happy....
My birthday wish...
To be happy and fufilling...in love and be loved....
Have a nice day everybody.
It is 26th Febuary 2006 now in Thailand...
I am glad that at least 4 people remembers my birthday...
As far as I remembers...my last birthday was my working day...and my ex-boss shares the same birthday....at least it was a happy day...
Today...I am not sad...but not particularly happy....
My birthday wish...
To be happy and fufilling...in love and be loved....
Have a nice day everybody.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Sick of being sick...
I am sick again...
This time...It's food posioning...
Giddy and nausea...Plus tummy ache...
Feels horrible and weak for the whole day...
And...again...the whole family is sick too...
Becos we ate the same food...
BAD...
This time...It's food posioning...
Giddy and nausea...Plus tummy ache...
Feels horrible and weak for the whole day...
And...again...the whole family is sick too...
Becos we ate the same food...
BAD...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
My brother...
This brother of mine....
We chatted in the middle of the night from 3am till 9am the next morning....
And I was not surprised that we do share a lot of common undertsanding in life...although we live through a totally different life....
Life...there is just too much to share...
First time in my life...I have never been more agreeable with him than now...
By the way...this is the brother who calls me a bitch and i call him a bastard(check out my archive)....
We chatted in the middle of the night from 3am till 9am the next morning....
And I was not surprised that we do share a lot of common undertsanding in life...although we live through a totally different life....
Life...there is just too much to share...
First time in my life...I have never been more agreeable with him than now...
By the way...this is the brother who calls me a bitch and i call him a bastard(check out my archive)....
Monday, February 20, 2006
oh where oh where....?
He is gone...
HAve not seen him online for days...
Cannot help but feeling low and disappointed...
That's all.
HAve not seen him online for days...
Cannot help but feeling low and disappointed...
That's all.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
花儿.....让我的心开了
歌曲：我们能不能不分手
歌手：花儿乐队 专辑：花季王朝
我们能不能不分手
亲爱的别走
全世界都让你要爱我
难道你就不会心动
曾为你冷风中颤抖
曾为你泪水狂流
曾为你万事都低头
你怎么舍得开口
已为你爱到无所有
已为你心门紧扣
已为你多少次难受
曾经感觉我们的相守
像段传奇甜蜜而不朽
曾经你要我付出所有
现在却说只要自由
曾经是那样晶莹剔透
当爱变成爱过的时候
该怎么拯救怎么挽留
能不能不分手
laaaaa……
I love the childishness of this song...
the one-sided bitter-sweetness...
this love....so wishful thinking....
like me now...
and the melody....i can just sing and sing....all day long...
like a child....
the chorus sings..."can we not break up...dear please dun go....the whole world wants you to love me ...and aren't you touch by it......."
this song...is my song...Right now...this minute...this second...this life of mine.
lalalalalalala lalala lalalalala lalalala.....
Life is beautiful...always is...
歌手：花儿乐队 专辑：花季王朝
我们能不能不分手
亲爱的别走
全世界都让你要爱我
难道你就不会心动
曾为你冷风中颤抖
曾为你泪水狂流
曾为你万事都低头
你怎么舍得开口
已为你爱到无所有
已为你心门紧扣
已为你多少次难受
曾经感觉我们的相守
像段传奇甜蜜而不朽
曾经你要我付出所有
现在却说只要自由
曾经是那样晶莹剔透
当爱变成爱过的时候
该怎么拯救怎么挽留
能不能不分手
laaaaa……
I love the childishness of this song...
the one-sided bitter-sweetness...
this love....so wishful thinking....
like me now...
and the melody....i can just sing and sing....all day long...
like a child....
the chorus sings..."can we not break up...dear please dun go....the whole world wants you to love me ...and aren't you touch by it......."
this song...is my song...Right now...this minute...this second...this life of mine.
lalalalalalala lalala lalalalala lalalala.....
Life is beautiful...always is...
The cycle begins...
Remember my theory of cycle of creativity...((check my blog archive)
It was how I started my blog...feeling bored.
and according to my theory...I shall experience depression soon...and then I will break depression by production...and feels happy....and slack...and back to boredom...
Boredom---> depression---> production----> joy----> boredom....
but but...a new cycle has develop...when I suddenly fall in love...and fall out of it...
depression struck me soon after happiness instead of boredom becos of the broken heart...healing process take place have to take place as I retire to boredom...while I was back at home....a twist of seqence in the cycle becos of the my love encounter.....hence...
the cycle become...
joy-----> depression---->boredom---->slight depression--->production------>joy
Of course this is not as simple as it looks...as I do experience minor depression at the peak of my boredom here(which still follows the original creativity cycle routine)just that the depression is not significant enough as the previous depression I have experenc from the broken heart is TOO great to compare...hence the minor depression is too weak to be accounted for...
hence if I am not worng....
the boredom stage(experiencing slight depression) shall quickly integrate to productivity....
This is HOPE for me....as it would mean...
joy will follow soon...
How exciting....
It was how I started my blog...feeling bored.
and according to my theory...I shall experience depression soon...and then I will break depression by production...and feels happy....and slack...and back to boredom...
Boredom---> depression---> production----> joy----> boredom....
but but...a new cycle has develop...when I suddenly fall in love...and fall out of it...
depression struck me soon after happiness instead of boredom becos of the broken heart...healing process take place have to take place as I retire to boredom...while I was back at home....a twist of seqence in the cycle becos of the my love encounter.....hence...
the cycle become...
joy-----> depression---->boredom---->slight depression--->production------>joy
Of course this is not as simple as it looks...as I do experience minor depression at the peak of my boredom here(which still follows the original creativity cycle routine)just that the depression is not significant enough as the previous depression I have experenc from the broken heart is TOO great to compare...hence the minor depression is too weak to be accounted for...
hence if I am not worng....
the boredom stage(experiencing slight depression) shall quickly integrate to productivity....
This is HOPE for me....as it would mean...
joy will follow soon...
How exciting....
About my love...
We grow up day by day from experience...
Get lost to find our way...
Get hurt to be stronger...
Now that I can offically call the relationship between he and I as "friends"...doesn't mean I dun love him anymore...
But that...I have to love him in such a way that i will categorise it as "friends"...
Basically...my love has become timid...
become what it was used to be...
it was used to be secretly...without him knowing...
It happens with a simple friendship...becomes a secretly in love thingy...becomes love each other...then hate each other....then becomes love but hate each other....goes back to secretly in love so as not to hate.....finally...the secretly in love will reduce to only pure friendship after numerous unreciprocate disappointment of being secretly in love....
I would say...I am currently at the stage of secretly in love AGAIN...hoping that it will reduce to pure friendship like how it begins...
Having said that...
It means...I will have to experience numerous disappointment....
until...love shed...and friendship becomes pure...
Right now...
NO worriez...if you know me by now...you should know that I am a person very comfortable with secretly in love with someone...the only love I feel safe to be in...quietly feeling happy for him...about him...with him...
I am happy.
I am happy now...as in...the current status of my feelings for him...
I am happy that I no longer feel the pain...
With all the beautiful memories...
Get lost to find our way...
Get hurt to be stronger...
Now that I can offically call the relationship between he and I as "friends"...doesn't mean I dun love him anymore...
But that...I have to love him in such a way that i will categorise it as "friends"...
Basically...my love has become timid...
become what it was used to be...
it was used to be secretly...without him knowing...
It happens with a simple friendship...becomes a secretly in love thingy...becomes love each other...then hate each other....then becomes love but hate each other....goes back to secretly in love so as not to hate.....finally...the secretly in love will reduce to only pure friendship after numerous unreciprocate disappointment of being secretly in love....
I would say...I am currently at the stage of secretly in love AGAIN...hoping that it will reduce to pure friendship like how it begins...
Having said that...
It means...I will have to experience numerous disappointment....
until...love shed...and friendship becomes pure...
Right now...
NO worriez...if you know me by now...you should know that I am a person very comfortable with secretly in love with someone...the only love I feel safe to be in...quietly feeling happy for him...about him...with him...
I am happy.
I am happy now...as in...the current status of my feelings for him...
I am happy that I no longer feel the pain...
With all the beautiful memories...
Honestly...
WHat a relief that I have finally break the DAily blogging routine....becos to blog-for-the-sake-of-blogging can KILL creativity and sensitivity...
Actually life here is more than sleep, eat and watcing TV....
just that I was so lazy...I dun even want to account for anything I did...
During these 30 odd days...
I have got to know more than I have ever did about my parents...day by day...
I teach my mum how to use a computer to run a CD-rom for her to learn thai...
I teach my dad how to surf net and download music online....
I help my mum wash the dishes and sweep the floor...
I help my dad made kimchi...
I go shopping with my mum in Carrafour....
I go street walking with my dad in weekend night markets....
I spend hours till dawn listening to my mum telling me about herself....
I spent hours till dawn watching DVD with my dad ...
My mum...she told me about her childhood love story...
My dad...he told me about how he was when he is a kid....
How interesting can life be....so interesting...
Isn't it.
Actually life here is more than sleep, eat and watcing TV....
just that I was so lazy...I dun even want to account for anything I did...
During these 30 odd days...
I have got to know more than I have ever did about my parents...day by day...
I teach my mum how to use a computer to run a CD-rom for her to learn thai...
I teach my dad how to surf net and download music online....
I help my mum wash the dishes and sweep the floor...
I help my dad made kimchi...
I go shopping with my mum in Carrafour....
I go street walking with my dad in weekend night markets....
I spend hours till dawn listening to my mum telling me about herself....
I spent hours till dawn watching DVD with my dad ...
My mum...she told me about her childhood love story...
My dad...he told me about how he was when he is a kid....
How interesting can life be....so interesting...
Isn't it.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
30...It's V-day...
V-day....spend the day with my parents shopping...went out to have korean food...
Came back...watch TV...
watch DVD until 6am in the morning....
Came back...watch TV...
watch DVD until 6am in the morning....
Monday, February 13, 2006
28...yet another lazy sunday...and the rest of many lazy days to come
Thaphae....the highlight for all the Chiang mailian on Sunday....
The 3rd time I visited Thaphae....
And today...it is also Yuan xiao....the chinese valentines' day...
plus...also the chiang mai's japanese cultural festive day....
The road is congested...no place to park my father's car...
had to drive around...and found a remote site...
walk thru the streets...and run into the fireworks display....
which is 10metres away...
a lot of japanese wearing their tradition kimono walking on the street...
my father and I were force to follow the crowd halfway...
after a few moments of frenzy...
That's it...directions are messed up...
we walked randomly...whichever and watever...
Items that caught my eye for the day....
1.A pair of nice earrings...
silver...after much bargaining
went back once....
580 baht reduced to 500 baht
VERDICT : DID NOT BUY!
2. A traditional looking blouse...
like it a lot...
3500 baht....reduced to 2800 baht...
Verdict : DID NOT BUY!
3. A pair of trousers...
Like it ...roughly 250 baht...
did not bargain as I intend to come back and buy later...
but lost our way and did not manage to get back to the store...
Verdict : DID NOT BUY!
Ate some bun...
bought a bottle of mineral water...
at the end of the day...
we lost our way...
as people pack up their stores...
we cannot recognise which is the street we start with...
took a few wrong lane before we finally found the car and got home...
Today...
is YET another vistory for me...apart from food...
as usual...
I BOUGHT NOTHING.
****************************
Isomia.
Have serious problem sleeping for the pass dun noe how many days....
Always cannot sleep at all thru the night...
Usually will fall aleep after 5am....
Which is BAD.
Days are too lazy...
Night becomes too hard to digest...
WHat has become of me...
I better start working...
The 3rd time I visited Thaphae....
And today...it is also Yuan xiao....the chinese valentines' day...
plus...also the chiang mai's japanese cultural festive day....
The road is congested...no place to park my father's car...
had to drive around...and found a remote site...
walk thru the streets...and run into the fireworks display....
which is 10metres away...
a lot of japanese wearing their tradition kimono walking on the street...
my father and I were force to follow the crowd halfway...
after a few moments of frenzy...
That's it...directions are messed up...
we walked randomly...whichever and watever...
Items that caught my eye for the day....
1.A pair of nice earrings...
silver...after much bargaining
went back once....
580 baht reduced to 500 baht
VERDICT : DID NOT BUY!
2. A traditional looking blouse...
like it a lot...
3500 baht....reduced to 2800 baht...
Verdict : DID NOT BUY!
3. A pair of trousers...
Like it ...roughly 250 baht...
did not bargain as I intend to come back and buy later...
but lost our way and did not manage to get back to the store...
Verdict : DID NOT BUY!
Ate some bun...
bought a bottle of mineral water...
at the end of the day...
we lost our way...
as people pack up their stores...
we cannot recognise which is the street we start with...
took a few wrong lane before we finally found the car and got home...
Today...
is YET another vistory for me...apart from food...
as usual...
I BOUGHT NOTHING.
****************************
Isomia.
Have serious problem sleeping for the pass dun noe how many days....
Always cannot sleep at all thru the night...
Usually will fall aleep after 5am....
Which is BAD.
Days are too lazy...
Night becomes too hard to digest...
WHat has become of me...
I better start working...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
27..
Aye...27 days have passed...
And I have done NOTHING....
ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'...
By the way...today is the 28th day...ALREADY.
TIME FLYS...
And I have done NOTHING....
ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'...
By the way...today is the 28th day...ALREADY.
TIME FLYS...
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Indeed...
I have not been VERY honest in my blog...
not as if I lie...
but there are things that i had hesitated to reveal...and share...
Maybe to let people know too much of me...
scares me...
not as if I lie...
but there are things that i had hesitated to reveal...and share...
Maybe to let people know too much of me...
scares me...
Friday, February 10, 2006
26.....
Sick again...
Have to be careful what you wish for...
Even if you can lose a couple of weights...
there should be better ways to do it...
But i swear...I did not get sick on purpose...
I have tried my best...yet I am sick again...
Have to be careful what you wish for...
Even if you can lose a couple of weights...
there should be better ways to do it...
But i swear...I did not get sick on purpose...
I have tried my best...yet I am sick again...
sick again...
After my make-me-lose-2kg-stomache flu....
i miraculously gain back 1kg in NO tiME...
Now...I am sick again....
down with comman flu....
running noes...
bad tummy again....
when will my weak body ever recover...
perhaps it is a sign to tell me...
this is NOT the place...
however...if I am able to lose a couple of weight....
I dun really mind...
ha.
i miraculously gain back 1kg in NO tiME...
Now...I am sick again....
down with comman flu....
running noes...
bad tummy again....
when will my weak body ever recover...
perhaps it is a sign to tell me...
this is NOT the place...
however...if I am able to lose a couple of weight....
I dun really mind...
ha.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
25...so many days...
The malicious..downloader.trojan....
is being detected by my anti-virus...
and I dun noe how to remove it....
even by following step by step...is a SUPER-DUPER challange to me...
ad last and most IMPORTANT STEP..
I was told...is to edit the registry....
Let's look at that particular phrase above....
first of all...I dun noe what registry in compuetr means...and therefore...how am I suppose to edit...???
Even by following the intruction....I do NOT know how to START to go into resgitry....WORST!...I was warned....any wrong edit will corrupt the files...and cause permanent demages...PLUS....I DUN NOE WHAT IN THE WORLD I AM DOING NOW.....
and I AM SUPPOSE TO BACKUP!?.....
YES.
They finally did mention that I have to back up...
ONLY ON THE LAST STEP...
why did they only tell me to do back up only at the last step?
I mean...should they warn me to back up before i start anything???
BAstard!
Now what?
My computer is in safe mode...and i dun now how to revert...and i dun dare to execute the last step...
and i dun noe what I am doing now...
ANYONE EXPERT IN COMPUTER?
Please tell me...
HOW TO REMOVE...
downloader.trojan
INDEED Malicious....but not as malicious as my own stupidity.
is being detected by my anti-virus...
and I dun noe how to remove it....
even by following step by step...is a SUPER-DUPER challange to me...
ad last and most IMPORTANT STEP..
I was told...is to edit the registry....
Let's look at that particular phrase above....
first of all...I dun noe what registry in compuetr means...and therefore...how am I suppose to edit...???
Even by following the intruction....I do NOT know how to START to go into resgitry....WORST!...I was warned....any wrong edit will corrupt the files...and cause permanent demages...PLUS....I DUN NOE WHAT IN THE WORLD I AM DOING NOW.....
and I AM SUPPOSE TO BACKUP!?.....
YES.
They finally did mention that I have to back up...
ONLY ON THE LAST STEP...
why did they only tell me to do back up only at the last step?
I mean...should they warn me to back up before i start anything???
BAstard!
Now what?
My computer is in safe mode...and i dun now how to revert...and i dun dare to execute the last step...
and i dun noe what I am doing now...
ANYONE EXPERT IN COMPUTER?
Please tell me...
HOW TO REMOVE...
downloader.trojan
INDEED Malicious....but not as malicious as my own stupidity.
24 blah blah days...
It is a strange feeling...
Maybe it is just how things works...
After so long NOT at home...and finally back at home....
The next most natural thing in my mind now is to leave home AGAIN...
How ironic...
*****************************************
Went out for a long afternoon walk ith my parents today...
visit the pet shops....full of DOGS....
and went to Airport plaza to shop...
came back...
watch TV...
took a nap...
headache...
come online...
Going to bath soon...
sleep at the end of the day....what else..
Maybe it is just how things works...
After so long NOT at home...and finally back at home....
The next most natural thing in my mind now is to leave home AGAIN...
How ironic...
*****************************************
Went out for a long afternoon walk ith my parents today...
visit the pet shops....full of DOGS....
and went to Airport plaza to shop...
came back...
watch TV...
took a nap...
headache...
come online...
Going to bath soon...
sleep at the end of the day....what else..
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
23rd...watever days...
I have lose my patient finally...
I can't stand myself not doing anything....
I do enjoy holiday...
But...I have been doing nothing for more than 2 months...
not as if I literally sleep for 2 month...
I am busy on and off..meeting people...shopping....new year...
But NOTHING IS DONE!
NO INCOME!
NO PRODUCTION!
NOOOOOO!!!!!...
Have to start working...cannot stand seeing myself wasting my life like that...
Really felt like studying again...
If not...at least start working...
**************************************************
Suddenly felt very useless these few days....
live with my family like a retiree....
felt like I am living my parents retirement life....
like I am retiring with them....
SHIT!.....this is horrible....
If this goes on....
I will go crazy...
**************************************************
Yesterday.....I lay on the sofa and think really hard....
about him....
very very hard....
and I no longer felt sad...
no longer felt painful...
Maybe it was not painful anymore...
maybe it was too painful...until I am too numb to feel...
maybe I am just used to it...
watever the reason...
No more tears...
But I do miss him...sometimes....
Not all the time now....
************************************************
Suddenly it is scary...
I am beginning to doubt my own ability....
I dun noe what I want to do...
Dun noe what I want...
Dun noe my future...
Dun noe where to go...
Dun noe who to love...
BUT there is one thing I know...
I MUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!!...
before I rot and die here....
*****************************************************
Today....woke up at 2pm...
sleep at 4am yesterday night....
Took 15 minutes to eat lunch....
hop onto my father's car...and head for the market
Did grocery for the week....
And came home...
watch TV....
eat dinner....
watch TV....
Online....
Going to sleep soon...
I can't stand myself not doing anything....
I do enjoy holiday...
But...I have been doing nothing for more than 2 months...
not as if I literally sleep for 2 month...
I am busy on and off..meeting people...shopping....new year...
But NOTHING IS DONE!
NO INCOME!
NO PRODUCTION!
NOOOOOO!!!!!...
Have to start working...cannot stand seeing myself wasting my life like that...
Really felt like studying again...
If not...at least start working...
**************************************************
Suddenly felt very useless these few days....
live with my family like a retiree....
felt like I am living my parents retirement life....
like I am retiring with them....
SHIT!.....this is horrible....
If this goes on....
I will go crazy...
**************************************************
Yesterday.....I lay on the sofa and think really hard....
about him....
very very hard....
and I no longer felt sad...
no longer felt painful...
Maybe it was not painful anymore...
maybe it was too painful...until I am too numb to feel...
maybe I am just used to it...
watever the reason...
No more tears...
But I do miss him...sometimes....
Not all the time now....
************************************************
Suddenly it is scary...
I am beginning to doubt my own ability....
I dun noe what I want to do...
Dun noe what I want...
Dun noe my future...
Dun noe where to go...
Dun noe who to love...
BUT there is one thing I know...
I MUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE !!!!...
before I rot and die here....
*****************************************************
Today....woke up at 2pm...
sleep at 4am yesterday night....
Took 15 minutes to eat lunch....
hop onto my father's car...and head for the market
Did grocery for the week....
And came home...
watch TV....
eat dinner....
watch TV....
Online....
Going to sleep soon...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Yet another day...22nd day...
Today...went to the airport...sent my brother off...
came back...watch TV...
teach my father how to go online...
and now..waited and waited hoping to see him online...
What is wrong with me...
I should have gotten over him by now...
Or maybe I did...
I just still miss him as a friend...
who am I kidding...
came back...watch TV...
teach my father how to go online...
and now..waited and waited hoping to see him online...
What is wrong with me...
I should have gotten over him by now...
Or maybe I did...
I just still miss him as a friend...
who am I kidding...
Monday, February 06, 2006
21st day...
Today is sunday...
When for an evening walk along the walk street in Taepae..
came home...feeling satistfy....
and my brother suggested a second night's out...
"One night motorcycle tour"....
me and my eldest brother on his motorcycle; my father and my elder brother on his scooter...
4 of us...went around chiangmai...to see the scene after midnight..
weather is cool...
quiet street though...
While my brother is showing us possible land for his future business...
halfway...we stop for a bowl of porridge...
came home....
3.32am...
online blog...
alomost time for bed...
When for an evening walk along the walk street in Taepae..
came home...feeling satistfy....
and my brother suggested a second night's out...
"One night motorcycle tour"....
me and my eldest brother on his motorcycle; my father and my elder brother on his scooter...
4 of us...went around chiangmai...to see the scene after midnight..
weather is cool...
quiet street though...
While my brother is showing us possible land for his future business...
halfway...we stop for a bowl of porridge...
came home....
3.32am...
online blog...
alomost time for bed...
Sunday, February 05, 2006
20th day...
Recovering from suspected stomache flu...
Surviving well....
However still has a bit of cold sweat...and weak stomach...
Should be fine...
But the rest of my family seem to be infected by me...
All are have similiar symptoms....
I hope evrybody is fine...
My virus are TOO strong...
By the way....went to the flower festival fair with my parents today....
bought some flowers...
Day ends...
Have a nice day everybody
Surviving well....
However still has a bit of cold sweat...and weak stomach...
Should be fine...
But the rest of my family seem to be infected by me...
All are have similiar symptoms....
I hope evrybody is fine...
My virus are TOO strong...
By the way....went to the flower festival fair with my parents today....
bought some flowers...
Day ends...
Have a nice day everybody
Friday, February 03, 2006
19th day...
Feeling better after taking the thai medicated powder....(pagoda brand)...
only ate a few spoonful of rice porridge...for the whole day...
i have lost 2kg since yesterday....
only ate a few spoonful of rice porridge...for the whole day...
i have lost 2kg since yesterday....
18th day...
sick sick sick...
Down with tummy ache...body ache...cold feet...fever...
Couldn't sleep well...
and feeling miserable all night...
Until the next morning....i felt nausea...but nothing to vomit...as my stomache is already empty....
My worse day in Chiangmai...
Down with tummy ache...body ache...cold feet...fever...
Couldn't sleep well...
and feeling miserable all night...
Until the next morning....i felt nausea...but nothing to vomit...as my stomache is already empty....
My worse day in Chiangmai...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
17th day.......
Went to 2 chinese temple for chinese new year prayers...
Ask for 3 "lot"...."qiu qian"...
and the first one tells a story...
A sick horse went up the mountain...病马去登山
When will it come back...几时得回还
To move on with your future...欲进前程路
....
The last line is difficult to understand...
It says...
思量到难头...
The last line is the most important essence of the whole "lot"..
is the conclusion or the final advice...
思量...means "to think of"..."to miss"...
到难头...could mean "to a difficult point"...OR...it could also mean..."to shake one's head"....OR...the last two phrase can also be understood as....if you want a future....then you will have to think twice of it...OR...if you want a future...you will have to think hard....
Whatever the understanding....it seems that it is something really difficult....
And what I pray for advice and ask about...for the "lot" i got...
is Him.
Hmm...sad...
watever...we are still friends...maybe that is what we really are meant to be....
Second "lot" is good...
It says....
久旱几多时
晚来雨淋漓
风送舟得利
缘衣换紫衣
Roughly it means...after a long drought....the rain came...
The wind blows and the boat is given a good push ahead...
The clothing of affinity changes to the clothing of prosperity....
The last phrase is agin the difficult to understand part...and my translation could be wrong....
And for this lot....I ask about my future....
as for the third "lot"...
ah...I am too tired to type chinese..but it roughly says...people are quiet at night...stars are so few in the sky for the night...the fisherman wasted the night with it's hook empty....it is no point to hang out your clothes to dry at night....
on the surface...it seems sad and quiet...
What I ask for is my future love affinity...(yin yuan)...
but my father says...
It means...it is "night time for you now..."...
you have to wait till the sun rises....
well.....sounds like a goood interpretation too...
oh well...
Life...it is how you want to see it...how you want to live it...
Isn't it...
Ask for 3 "lot"...."qiu qian"...
and the first one tells a story...
A sick horse went up the mountain...病马去登山
When will it come back...几时得回还
To move on with your future...欲进前程路
....
The last line is difficult to understand...
It says...
思量到难头...
The last line is the most important essence of the whole "lot"..
is the conclusion or the final advice...
思量...means "to think of"..."to miss"...
到难头...could mean "to a difficult point"...OR...it could also mean..."to shake one's head"....OR...the last two phrase can also be understood as....if you want a future....then you will have to think twice of it...OR...if you want a future...you will have to think hard....
Whatever the understanding....it seems that it is something really difficult....
And what I pray for advice and ask about...for the "lot" i got...
is Him.
Hmm...sad...
watever...we are still friends...maybe that is what we really are meant to be....
Second "lot" is good...
It says....
久旱几多时
晚来雨淋漓
风送舟得利
缘衣换紫衣
Roughly it means...after a long drought....the rain came...
The wind blows and the boat is given a good push ahead...
The clothing of affinity changes to the clothing of prosperity....
The last phrase is agin the difficult to understand part...and my translation could be wrong....
And for this lot....I ask about my future....
as for the third "lot"...
ah...I am too tired to type chinese..but it roughly says...people are quiet at night...stars are so few in the sky for the night...the fisherman wasted the night with it's hook empty....it is no point to hang out your clothes to dry at night....
on the surface...it seems sad and quiet...
What I ask for is my future love affinity...(yin yuan)...
but my father says...
It means...it is "night time for you now..."...
you have to wait till the sun rises....
well.....sounds like a goood interpretation too...
oh well...
Life...it is how you want to see it...how you want to live it...
Isn't it...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
16th day...
A lazy day...
Life is back to normal...
Wake up...eat...sleep...eat...watch TV...sleep...
what else...
Have a nice day everybody...
Life is back to normal...
Wake up...eat...sleep...eat...watch TV...sleep...
what else...
Have a nice day everybody...
Monday, January 30, 2006
15th day....
Beautiful memories...
Beautiful songs....
My brother gave me a SUPERB collection of old singapore drama series songs...
and I practically GROW UP with all these songs...
So full of memories...
So happy...every songs...
a list of my favourite drama theme...(please take note...ONLY SINGAPOREAN WILL RECOGNISE THESE SONGS)
1. Fei Yue Ying He
2. San Mian Xia Wa
3. Mi Li Ye
4. Qiyuan
5. wu xie ge tai
Ah....memories...
Beautiful songs....
My brother gave me a SUPERB collection of old singapore drama series songs...
and I practically GROW UP with all these songs...
So full of memories...
So happy...every songs...
a list of my favourite drama theme...(please take note...ONLY SINGAPOREAN WILL RECOGNISE THESE SONGS)
1. Fei Yue Ying He
2. San Mian Xia Wa
3. Mi Li Ye
4. Qiyuan
5. wu xie ge tai
Ah....memories...
14th day...HApPy ChiNesE NEw yEaR...
Yes...happy....
has been eating non-stop....since i cannot-remember-when...
which has cause me a certain level of phobia towards food...
The sight of food no longer create immense joy like it used to create joy
when i was in Uk....
And that...in economic term is known as "diminishing marginal utility"...
which means...something is very wrong with my lifestyle now...
It seems that my miserable days in Uk is so much happier than my cosy days at home...
Hmmm....anyway...
Happy Chinese New Year everyone...
with lots and lots and lots of LOVE....
chyiyun
p.s/my dear friends wendy and liwei...sorry for not really keeping in touch as my life here is a bit crazy for these two days as my relatives are here....happy but crazy....
has been eating non-stop....since i cannot-remember-when...
which has cause me a certain level of phobia towards food...
The sight of food no longer create immense joy like it used to create joy
when i was in Uk....
And that...in economic term is known as "diminishing marginal utility"...
which means...something is very wrong with my lifestyle now...
It seems that my miserable days in Uk is so much happier than my cosy days at home...
Hmmm....anyway...
Happy Chinese New Year everyone...
with lots and lots and lots of LOVE....
chyiyun
p.s/my dear friends wendy and liwei...sorry for not really keeping in touch as my life here is a bit crazy for these two days as my relatives are here....happy but crazy....
Sunday, January 29, 2006
13th day...Chinese New year EVE...YEAH YEAH YEAh...
Yes....chinese new year's eve...
To me, has always been more important than chinese new year itself...
Chinese new year eve is always the day my family looks presentation...
and the whole family have dinner TOGETHER
To me, has always been more important than chinese new year itself...
Chinese new year eve is always the day my family looks presentation...
and the whole family have dinner TOGETHER
Saturday, January 28, 2006
12th day...
This is the most chaotic and busy day far...
Woke up at around 11 plus...
Free and easy ...eat lunch...
wait for my brother to clear up room before we head for Carrafour to do chines new year shoppping....
Then next stop....we fill up the whole trolly with food in Macro...
and then...to the airport at 6pm to pick up 10 relative form Singapore....
brought them town for dinner...
walk around the night basaar....
came home at around 12midnight....
clean up the toilets...
clear the mess...
wash dishes...
bathe...
blog...
sleep...
Woke up at around 11 plus...
Free and easy ...eat lunch...
wait for my brother to clear up room before we head for Carrafour to do chines new year shoppping....
Then next stop....we fill up the whole trolly with food in Macro...
and then...to the airport at 6pm to pick up 10 relative form Singapore....
brought them town for dinner...
walk around the night basaar....
came home at around 12midnight....
clean up the toilets...
clear the mess...
wash dishes...
bathe...
blog...
sleep...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
11th day...
Today is the most constructive day since I arrive...
woke up at around 1pm...
eat lunch...
watch TV...
took a nap...
woke up...
and the work begins...
I clear two column of wardrobe...
3 drawers...
clean all the antique chairs...wash all the dishes lunch and dinner...
clean the bathroom basin...
clean the kitchen basin...
play card games with my brother...
watch Tv at the same time...
finally online...
Later...I shall finish packing the room...
and sleep...
Tomolo will be the last day of spring cleaning...
my job for tomolo is to help clean the fridge...
scrub the bathroom...
and wala...
Ready for Chinese New yEar!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!!!!
woke up at around 1pm...
eat lunch...
watch TV...
took a nap...
woke up...
and the work begins...
I clear two column of wardrobe...
3 drawers...
clean all the antique chairs...wash all the dishes lunch and dinner...
clean the bathroom basin...
clean the kitchen basin...
play card games with my brother...
watch Tv at the same time...
finally online...
Later...I shall finish packing the room...
and sleep...
Tomolo will be the last day of spring cleaning...
my job for tomolo is to help clean the fridge...
scrub the bathroom...
and wala...
Ready for Chinese New yEar!
Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!!!!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
10th day...
10 days have passed...
slow and easy....
establish a slightly better relationship with my family dog....
sweep the floor at least twice....
watch TV....
oh...my mum teach me an old method to wash my hair....
use glutinous rice floor with water....add a few drops of vinegar....
almost time...to bed...
slow and easy....
establish a slightly better relationship with my family dog....
sweep the floor at least twice....
watch TV....
oh...my mum teach me an old method to wash my hair....
use glutinous rice floor with water....add a few drops of vinegar....
almost time...to bed...
9th day...
Tired day....travel on the bus to and fro for at least 8 hours...to Burma to extend visa...tired but interesting....came back...went to eat Thai steamboat.....DELICIOUS!.....
Came back...watch Tv....time for bed...
Came back...watch Tv....time for bed...
Monday, January 23, 2006
8th day...
Yet another lazy day....
as my weight fluctuate around the 5o something kg.....my days seems like dejavu...
wake up...eat lunch...
go online...time for dinner....
watch TV....
Day ends....
by the way...
This is a Korean character....her name is Pucca...a lot of my friends say I look like her...
as my weight fluctuate around the 5o something kg.....my days seems like dejavu...
wake up...eat lunch...
go online...time for dinner....
watch TV....
Day ends....
by the way...
This is a Korean character....her name is Pucca...a lot of my friends say I look like her...
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Day 7...
Woke up...watch TV....
eat lunch...
Nap...
Online chat with jianming...
time's up....
eat dinner....
almost end of the day....lazy lazy...
oh oh....chat with him online for a while....
he seems happy...I am happy.
220106
eat lunch...
Nap...
Online chat with jianming...
time's up....
eat dinner....
almost end of the day....lazy lazy...
oh oh....chat with him online for a while....
he seems happy...I am happy.
220106
Day 6...
Woke up....eat lunch...
As usual...I dun wake up until after 12noon...
Watch Tv...get ready to visit Chiang mai orchid exhibition....
was a hot day...saw some nice flowers...took some nice photo...
came home around 7pm....suffer from a headache...
went out again on my brother's scooter....went to wah lai...
night market...
bought a bun and a packet of papaya...
went home...headache worsen...
bath...play chess with QC....
go to sleep...
210106
As usual...I dun wake up until after 12noon...
Watch Tv...get ready to visit Chiang mai orchid exhibition....
was a hot day...saw some nice flowers...took some nice photo...
came home around 7pm....suffer from a headache...
went out again on my brother's scooter....went to wah lai...
night market...
bought a bun and a packet of papaya...
went home...headache worsen...
bath...play chess with QC....
go to sleep...
210106
5th day in Chinagmai.....
It is a long day...woke up at around 6.30pm...hurried to the hospital...did a blood test...x-ray...i mean my mum...then...the exciting part begins...we went to the local market...eat breakfast....
soyabean, porriage(yum yum)and pancake by the roadside...
and shop in the local wet market....
fresh vegetables....
Roasted toads...anyone interested?...
then went home at around 10am...sleep...work up again....went to hospital again...to get the report...and doctor says...SHE IS VERY HEALTHY....even healthier than normal people...what a relief....then we came back...watch Tv and sleep...
End of day 5...
200106
soyabean, porriage(yum yum)and pancake by the roadside...
and shop in the local wet market....
fresh vegetables....
Roasted toads...anyone interested?...
then went home at around 10am...sleep...work up again....went to hospital again...to get the report...and doctor says...SHE IS VERY HEALTHY....even healthier than normal people...what a relief....then we came back...watch Tv and sleep...
End of day 5...
200106
Friday, January 20, 2006
4th day....Part 2
I thought the day will just end peacefully....
But....
My mum has been complaining about numbness around her hand and leg...on one side of her body...then her head feels numb....one side of her face....
I seriously suspect she might be suffering from minor stroke....if not...it could be a warning signs....
Went to the hospital....dun like the idea that i cannot speak any thai except for saying "sawadika...." and smile helplessly...with handsigns that dun make sense....
Luckily my brother speak eloquent thai....
In the end....it seems like...she is ok at the moment....but she will need further check up....just to make sure she is alright...
Pray hard everybody....
190106
But....
My mum has been complaining about numbness around her hand and leg...on one side of her body...then her head feels numb....one side of her face....
I seriously suspect she might be suffering from minor stroke....if not...it could be a warning signs....
Went to the hospital....dun like the idea that i cannot speak any thai except for saying "sawadika...." and smile helplessly...with handsigns that dun make sense....
Luckily my brother speak eloquent thai....
In the end....it seems like...she is ok at the moment....but she will need further check up....just to make sure she is alright...
Pray hard everybody....
190106
Thursday, January 19, 2006
4th day...
Allow me to state my casualty so far...
1. Pimple scare...2 pimple spotted since I arrive....both on my left face...
2. Ulcer torture....under my tongue...on the right...
3. Mosquito attack...let me count...2 bites around my left knee and 7 bites around my right calf....It was done by the mosquito two nights ago...got pokadots legs since yesterday....
4. Headache...since yesterday....
5. Dry skin....dry lips...dry feet...dry hands...
The only good thing...I lost 2kg...
And one very happy thing....I saw him online a while ago....had a happy chat...while he had to rush to school....
Miss him...
Meanwhile...4 days passed...and I had been to Carrefour 2 twice...how boring can life be...
Yet...it is so peaceful...I like boring life...when my parents PAYS FOR EVERYTHING....
Life really should be like this...
190106
1. Pimple scare...2 pimple spotted since I arrive....both on my left face...
2. Ulcer torture....under my tongue...on the right...
3. Mosquito attack...let me count...2 bites around my left knee and 7 bites around my right calf....It was done by the mosquito two nights ago...got pokadots legs since yesterday....
4. Headache...since yesterday....
5. Dry skin....dry lips...dry feet...dry hands...
The only good thing...I lost 2kg...
And one very happy thing....I saw him online a while ago....had a happy chat...while he had to rush to school....
Miss him...
Meanwhile...4 days passed...and I had been to Carrefour 2 twice...how boring can life be...
Yet...it is so peaceful...I like boring life...when my parents PAYS FOR EVERYTHING....
Life really should be like this...
190106
3rd day in chiangmai....
Third day....early in the morning....a little stressful session with my mum...crying...telling me all her woes....about how all the man in the family take her for granted....my mum is a typical little women....her life is about her family....only her family....
It was another relax day....woke up...eat lunch...took a napp....woke up...eat dinner....watch TV...sleep...
I felt a bit sick today...a bit of a headache and running nose...had a pimple yesterday...my skin not responding well to Thailand climate...nose having peeling skin...
Kind of like my family dog....big fluffy creature...
Online now...chatting with my psychic friend JM.
End of day 3.
180106
It was another relax day....woke up...eat lunch...took a napp....woke up...eat dinner....watch TV...sleep...
I felt a bit sick today...a bit of a headache and running nose...had a pimple yesterday...my skin not responding well to Thailand climate...nose having peeling skin...
Kind of like my family dog....big fluffy creature...
Online now...chatting with my psychic friend JM.
End of day 3.
180106
2nd day in Chiangmai...
Sleep until whatever time I like....woke up....
Pester by my mum to finish my lunch ....and go Carrefor....
went out around 2pm....shop until around 6pm plus...
this is the picture I took on our way home...
Reach home and eat dinner....watch TV....bath....sleep....
That is day 2 in chiangmai....
170106
Pester by my mum to finish my lunch ....and go Carrefor....
went out around 2pm....shop until around 6pm plus...
this is the picture I took on our way home...
Reach home and eat dinner....watch TV....bath....sleep....
That is day 2 in chiangmai....
170106
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The 1st day in Chiangmai...
The first person I saw from my family in Chiangmai is my father....followed by my brother then my mum....it was a weird feeling...but was glad that I finally see everybody....EVERYBODY has grown FAT.
I was at the immigration checkpoint collection my baggage as i saw a man at the corner of the entrance...that is my father...then...I waved at him...then...as I look back at that corner again...my brother squeeze in....I saw my mum finally when I walk out of the entrance...
16th of January...after so many days "not at home"...I am back...to this strange place I have to call my home..from now on...
First thing...to the carpark...hopped onto my father's antique Mercs...and head for dinner...
Chiangmai's BEST chinese restaurant for a reunion dinner....it has been more than 4 years since the last time everyone in the family is present...if only my eldest uncle is still alive....it would been a more complete one...
However....seriously...this is good enough....
First time in Thailand....first thing....the chrysanthemum tea....TOO SWEET.....the first thing I sent to my mouth after I touch down...food wise....not bad...
Second thing....toilet...nice and pretty....got class...very impressive...
Then we went to visit my father's god-grandson...cute and blur looking...
Then is the highlight of the day....HOME SWEET HOME....
As my father drive into the lane...I wonder how my "home" is going to look like...saw a gate...and my brother ran out to open it...drive in...it was actually quite a distant...which is something rather unexpected for me....then...after some tormenting seconds....I saw a small little house before me....
Open the door....a dog attack me me..!...a big fat cute and hyper-active one....
Then I step into the home that I have been imaging....
It was the same home.
I mean...every gist of whatever my home is like in Sinagpore...is what I see here...except from the difference in arrangement....nothing too new to cause me any shock...
Too familar...no need at all to get used to anything....
Technicaly, I am no longer "not at home".
I am back home.
HOME SWEET HOME.
*******************************
That very night....was the first time ever I felt so connect to my mum....
we talked like we have never talk before...first time in my life...
We share a giant bed and talked non-stop....until we hear the rooster did it job...
In between...we saw a centipede on the ceiling...and remove it from the ceiling with some sqeak(mainly me)...and my mum release it to the garden...
Finally...at around 5am on the 17th January....I fall asleep....
And that is my first day in Chiangmai....
Nothing too foreign...everything is just the way it is...
Soo familiar....yet....so strange...
16016--170106
I was at the immigration checkpoint collection my baggage as i saw a man at the corner of the entrance...that is my father...then...I waved at him...then...as I look back at that corner again...my brother squeeze in....I saw my mum finally when I walk out of the entrance...
16th of January...after so many days "not at home"...I am back...to this strange place I have to call my home..from now on...
First thing...to the carpark...hopped onto my father's antique Mercs...and head for dinner...
Chiangmai's BEST chinese restaurant for a reunion dinner....it has been more than 4 years since the last time everyone in the family is present...if only my eldest uncle is still alive....it would been a more complete one...
However....seriously...this is good enough....
First time in Thailand....first thing....the chrysanthemum tea....TOO SWEET.....the first thing I sent to my mouth after I touch down...food wise....not bad...
Second thing....toilet...nice and pretty....got class...very impressive...
Then we went to visit my father's god-grandson...cute and blur looking...
Then is the highlight of the day....HOME SWEET HOME....
As my father drive into the lane...I wonder how my "home" is going to look like...saw a gate...and my brother ran out to open it...drive in...it was actually quite a distant...which is something rather unexpected for me....then...after some tormenting seconds....I saw a small little house before me....
Open the door....a dog attack me me..!...a big fat cute and hyper-active one....
Then I step into the home that I have been imaging....
It was the same home.
I mean...every gist of whatever my home is like in Sinagpore...is what I see here...except from the difference in arrangement....nothing too new to cause me any shock...
Too familar...no need at all to get used to anything....
Technicaly, I am no longer "not at home".
I am back home.
HOME SWEET HOME.
*******************************
That very night....was the first time ever I felt so connect to my mum....
we talked like we have never talk before...first time in my life...
We share a giant bed and talked non-stop....until we hear the rooster did it job...
In between...we saw a centipede on the ceiling...and remove it from the ceiling with some sqeak(mainly me)...and my mum release it to the garden...
Finally...at around 5am on the 17th January....I fall asleep....
And that is my first day in Chiangmai....
Nothing too foreign...everything is just the way it is...
Soo familiar....yet....so strange...
16016--170106
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Think of him...
I think of him again this morning....
That was when I told Yahui about him...
It was indeed sweet...
Bitter sweet...
And I smiled...
It is not tha bad when I only think of the happy times...
That was when I told Yahui about him...
It was indeed sweet...
Bitter sweet...
And I smiled...
It is not tha bad when I only think of the happy times...
Something Missing...
I went back to read my life during my saddest....between 24th september till 12th October roughly....and realise I did not blog at all...
Not a bad thing...
Not a bad thing...
Life...goes on...
Yes...I am still sad...
I know it is silly...but the sadness never left me...just that I am learning to get used to the pain....and cry lesser each day....
but I am glad that the frequency of sadness is falling as days went by....
at first...I was sooo sad...that i had to run to the toilet to cry every hour...while I was in the office working in the bank....
Then...slowly...it becomes everynight...while I walked home from work from the restaurant...in the cold...
time passes...it becomes once every two /three days....under my blanket in the middle of the night...
then a big cry once a week.....becomes...once every 2 weeks...
Everytime i cry...I told myself I will be ok and that it will be the last time i cry...but it was never the last...
Now...three and a half month passed....
I know I am so much stronger now...
Yet...
occassionally...
I will still cry when i am suddenly reminded of him...
like now...
150106
2.57am
I know it is silly...but the sadness never left me...just that I am learning to get used to the pain....and cry lesser each day....
but I am glad that the frequency of sadness is falling as days went by....
at first...I was sooo sad...that i had to run to the toilet to cry every hour...while I was in the office working in the bank....
Then...slowly...it becomes everynight...while I walked home from work from the restaurant...in the cold...
time passes...it becomes once every two /three days....under my blanket in the middle of the night...
then a big cry once a week.....becomes...once every 2 weeks...
Everytime i cry...I told myself I will be ok and that it will be the last time i cry...but it was never the last...
Now...three and a half month passed....
I know I am so much stronger now...
Yet...
occassionally...
I will still cry when i am suddenly reminded of him...
like now...
150106
2.57am
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Mixed feelings...
Can't wait to be back home...every day...every second...yet..a little sad that I am leaving so soon...counting days...for the day that I will be back...counting days for the day I am still here....it is a mixed feeling...although there is really no reason for me to stay anymore....but somehow...there seems to be something not finished here...something to be done...
Happy and sad...at the same time...
hate this place to a point....yet suspect I will miss this place...
Glasgow...take care...
Love,
chyiyun
271105
Happy and sad...at the same time...
hate this place to a point....yet suspect I will miss this place...
Glasgow...take care...
Love,
chyiyun
271105
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Painful Disappointment, Quiet Grief and Scare the hell out of me Fright....
There is these battle of emotion lately in me...
First, it was pain......to be exact...
it was a painful disappointment that he wasn't the one...
which makes me cry whenever I think of him...
He wants me to smile when I think of him....But i can't...so far...I can't...
There is always tears...
And i become so sad...
I just dun want to think of him any more....
Then It was Grief...
A very quiet one...
That stir a barely visible ripple in my heart...
Someone passed away...
Then, the Fright...
which scare the hell out of me....
that I naively think by SCREAMING....
the mouse in my room will go away....
All these....came together last night...
in a total shock....
I lost my ability to feel...
For a while...the next morning...
everything is in a daze...
disappointment, grief, and fright....
Life is strange...
16/11/05
First, it was pain......to be exact...
it was a painful disappointment that he wasn't the one...
which makes me cry whenever I think of him...
He wants me to smile when I think of him....But i can't...so far...I can't...
There is always tears...
And i become so sad...
I just dun want to think of him any more....
Then It was Grief...
A very quiet one...
That stir a barely visible ripple in my heart...
Someone passed away...
Then, the Fright...
which scare the hell out of me....
that I naively think by SCREAMING....
the mouse in my room will go away....
All these....came together last night...
in a total shock....
I lost my ability to feel...
For a while...the next morning...
everything is in a daze...
disappointment, grief, and fright....
Life is strange...
16/11/05
My dear few friends....in Glasgow...
I dun have much friends in glasgow...
All the dearest are back in Singapore....
But right here...I do have a few...
One of them...is Heather.
One of the few friends i watch movies and go shopping with....
Then...It was taka, her room mate...whom become my friend...becos I am always at heather house cooking or eating something....
slowly...the 2 of them become great pals to me...
I guess i will miss them...when i leave....
my 2 good friends...
Heather and Taka...
Thank you.
16/11/05
All the dearest are back in Singapore....
But right here...I do have a few...
One of them...is Heather.
One of the few friends i watch movies and go shopping with....
Then...It was taka, her room mate...whom become my friend...becos I am always at heather house cooking or eating something....
slowly...the 2 of them become great pals to me...
I guess i will miss them...when i leave....
my 2 good friends...
Heather and Taka...
Thank you.
16/11/05
Passed away...
I learn about the news when i was queuing for my burger at burger King...
My mum called me.
My mum say...he died peacefully.
She was crying...
I cried.
And after that i have been calm.
It is a strange feeling.
So far away...
Someone left this world.
Quietly.
It just feel too strange...he always had been part of my family....
he was always there...the moment i was born....like a quiet elderly....
sitting on a chair quietly most of the time...sometimes smoking...
He never really speak to me...
Or maybe becos I never really speak to him...
Strange feeling....
Strange...
A sense of lost...
Like something left the world...
Yet...the world goes on...as if nothing has change....
Quietly...
13/11/2005...5pm Glasgow time
My mum called me.
My mum say...he died peacefully.
She was crying...
I cried.
And after that i have been calm.
It is a strange feeling.
So far away...
Someone left this world.
Quietly.
It just feel too strange...he always had been part of my family....
he was always there...the moment i was born....like a quiet elderly....
sitting on a chair quietly most of the time...sometimes smoking...
He never really speak to me...
Or maybe becos I never really speak to him...
Strange feeling....
Strange...
A sense of lost...
Like something left the world...
Yet...the world goes on...as if nothing has change....
Quietly...
13/11/2005...5pm Glasgow time
My new flatmate...
Let me just give it a name to acknowlege the fact that I have no choice but to accept his existence.
Let's call it "furball".
"He"...I would prefer to address it as a "he"...to personify him...in attempt to show my greatest respect...
He appears out of nowhere yesterday night at around 4am, while I am watch the late night asian movie, IRON Ladies...
as i was laughing while watching the funny Thai movie...TO MY GREATEST HORROR!!!!....I saw something crawl passed my carpet.....WAIT!...no no,....it can't be...I must be tired or something....4am....I must be seeing things....but...I have a feeling it is real...and HAIRY!...WITH A TAIL!!!...
AND MY HAIR STAND....
WHAT THE HELL is that....!!
it creeps....
AND SHIT!...4am...who am I suppose to call for help....WHO CAN HELP ME!!!!
I send a text to V....my ex bf...but his mobile is switch off...as usual...i am not surprise...
NO ONE....no one can help me now...HELP!!!!!!!!...
In desperation...I CALLED MY BROTHER IN THAILAND!!!....
and told him something terrible has happen!!!! and told him I am very frightened then....
BECOS OF A STUPID MOUSE....
I ask him to call me back as my mobile is low on credit....
as the phone ring....i burst into tears ....then...the SCARIEST MOMENT....the mouse start to crawl CALMLY TOWARDS THE BED!!!....NO NO NO!!!!...GO AWAY!!!!....Dun COME NEAR ME!!!!.....I was half screaming and crying....on the phone.....and the mouse just crawl calmly....as if he did not here my scream...as if he was deaf....OR i suspect he is also blind!!!!...becos my lights are on...and he still dare to COME OUT!!!!......then....he turned left toward the bedside table and went underneath....and he disappear....i become so paranoid....I just stand on my bed....and cry over the phone...while my two brothers in thailand tries to calm me down..(half laughing....or trying very hard not to laugh)....it is funny....if i were to watch some movie and see the same scenerio...i probably would also laugh....BUT...now that the mouse is less than a metre away from me...IT IS DAMN SCARY!!!! SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!!!....and what is worse...is....if the mouse is frantically running...it means it is afraid of me...and hears my scream....BUT NO!!!!....it crawls....CALMLY...and slowly...like i say, as if it is deaf and blind....freaks me out...which means...IT IS NOT AFRAID OF ME....which means....it could just crawl towards me....like SADAKO!.....slowly!!!!!!!
I couldn't sleep...and hide myself under my blanket.....until the next morning....
I had to check to see if the coast is clear before i get off my bed...and run to the toilet...
IN CASE I RUN INTO HIM....
V text me the next morning...and says i should feed him and make friends with it.......
My landlord was laughing when i told him this....he said,"shiah, there is nothing i can do..."
The ultimate was...an email from V saying..."say hello to your new flatmate".....
I guess i have no choice ....BUT BUT BUT.....I just hope my new flatmate and i will live in peace...
Just dun come out to scare me....or jump out from no where.....
The idea of seeing him again is enough to send a chill down my spine....
PLEASE PLEASE.....PEACE!
The room is all yours after i leave, Mr Furball....
Just let me sleep in peace...
OR I WILL SCREAM!"!!!!!!
16/11/05
Let's call it "furball".
"He"...I would prefer to address it as a "he"...to personify him...in attempt to show my greatest respect...
He appears out of nowhere yesterday night at around 4am, while I am watch the late night asian movie, IRON Ladies...
as i was laughing while watching the funny Thai movie...TO MY GREATEST HORROR!!!!....I saw something crawl passed my carpet.....WAIT!...no no,....it can't be...I must be tired or something....4am....I must be seeing things....but...I have a feeling it is real...and HAIRY!...WITH A TAIL!!!...
AND MY HAIR STAND....
WHAT THE HELL is that....!!
it creeps....
AND SHIT!...4am...who am I suppose to call for help....WHO CAN HELP ME!!!!
I send a text to V....my ex bf...but his mobile is switch off...as usual...i am not surprise...
NO ONE....no one can help me now...HELP!!!!!!!!...
In desperation...I CALLED MY BROTHER IN THAILAND!!!....
and told him something terrible has happen!!!! and told him I am very frightened then....
BECOS OF A STUPID MOUSE....
I ask him to call me back as my mobile is low on credit....
as the phone ring....i burst into tears ....then...the SCARIEST MOMENT....the mouse start to crawl CALMLY TOWARDS THE BED!!!....NO NO NO!!!!...GO AWAY!!!!....Dun COME NEAR ME!!!!.....I was half screaming and crying....on the phone.....and the mouse just crawl calmly....as if he did not here my scream...as if he was deaf....OR i suspect he is also blind!!!!...becos my lights are on...and he still dare to COME OUT!!!!......then....he turned left toward the bedside table and went underneath....and he disappear....i become so paranoid....I just stand on my bed....and cry over the phone...while my two brothers in thailand tries to calm me down..(half laughing....or trying very hard not to laugh)....it is funny....if i were to watch some movie and see the same scenerio...i probably would also laugh....BUT...now that the mouse is less than a metre away from me...IT IS DAMN SCARY!!!! SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!!!....and what is worse...is....if the mouse is frantically running...it means it is afraid of me...and hears my scream....BUT NO!!!!....it crawls....CALMLY...and slowly...like i say, as if it is deaf and blind....freaks me out...which means...IT IS NOT AFRAID OF ME....which means....it could just crawl towards me....like SADAKO!.....slowly!!!!!!!
I couldn't sleep...and hide myself under my blanket.....until the next morning....
I had to check to see if the coast is clear before i get off my bed...and run to the toilet...
IN CASE I RUN INTO HIM....
V text me the next morning...and says i should feed him and make friends with it.......
My landlord was laughing when i told him this....he said,"shiah, there is nothing i can do..."
The ultimate was...an email from V saying..."say hello to your new flatmate".....
I guess i have no choice ....BUT BUT BUT.....I just hope my new flatmate and i will live in peace...
Just dun come out to scare me....or jump out from no where.....
The idea of seeing him again is enough to send a chill down my spine....
PLEASE PLEASE.....PEACE!
The room is all yours after i leave, Mr Furball....
Just let me sleep in peace...
OR I WILL SCREAM!"!!!!!!
16/11/05
Friday, November 04, 2005
An email...
Received an email from him yesterday...
was actally quite touched...as apparently...no one misses me...as I haven receive any emails from anyone for a long time..
At least he misses me...I mean...as a friend...
Took me i day...to hesitate...
and the next day...to have the courage to reply his email...
At least...I was telling myself...how difficult could it be...
As I am quite convince that I am..sort of quite get over him already...
So what could be so hard...
And I start to write a reply...
At first...it was the usual nice and polite way to write an email...
then...at the end...
I wanted to be trueful...
so I wrote...
"You dun have to see me before i leave...if you are busy...I am fine...
maybe it will more beautiful just to think of you....even if we might never see each other again...it doesn't matter anymore...nothing matters..."
And i started to cry...
So I am not over him yet.
I am trying though...and I seriously think I am doing a good job...
Then...in order not to agonise him...(I think it is enough to have one person to suffer the misery...then to have both of us feel the pain)...I change my last line..
and make it sound more cheerful...
"Oh well....nothing is important now...
no school no exam...no home...no residency no scholarship no boyfriend....
watever...whenever...wherever...
No hurry....free and easy...
have a nice day to you..."
Sound spiteful...hmmm...I dun know...
I really dun know what will happen if i see him again...
If it is going to be like the last time we met...
I think it will be more beautiful to just think of him...
really...
Have a nice day...
Love,
chyiyun
was actally quite touched...as apparently...no one misses me...as I haven receive any emails from anyone for a long time..
At least he misses me...I mean...as a friend...
Took me i day...to hesitate...
and the next day...to have the courage to reply his email...
At least...I was telling myself...how difficult could it be...
As I am quite convince that I am..sort of quite get over him already...
So what could be so hard...
And I start to write a reply...
At first...it was the usual nice and polite way to write an email...
then...at the end...
I wanted to be trueful...
so I wrote...
"You dun have to see me before i leave...if you are busy...I am fine...
maybe it will more beautiful just to think of you....even if we might never see each other again...it doesn't matter anymore...nothing matters..."
And i started to cry...
So I am not over him yet.
I am trying though...and I seriously think I am doing a good job...
Then...in order not to agonise him...(I think it is enough to have one person to suffer the misery...then to have both of us feel the pain)...I change my last line..
and make it sound more cheerful...
"Oh well....nothing is important now...
no school no exam...no home...no residency no scholarship no boyfriend....
watever...whenever...wherever...
No hurry....free and easy...
have a nice day to you..."
Sound spiteful...hmmm...I dun know...
I really dun know what will happen if i see him again...
If it is going to be like the last time we met...
I think it will be more beautiful to just think of him...
really...
Have a nice day...
Love,
chyiyun
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Check-in...
This would be one of my proudest trip so far...becos My bag is really tiny for a week travel...
It was just a tiny black bag...around 8kg.
In fact...it might be smaller than a usual secondary school student school bag...which i also manage to squeeze in my sleeping bag...
Is about one third of my usual Karrimor heavy duty backpack...
What's more...I can actually just hand carry this bag and dun have to check-in...
Just as I am so proud of this tiny bag...and decided to just NOT check in anything...the check in ldy ask me if i have any sharp objects in my bag...
SHIT!...my scissor...I was givena choice to...throw it away or check in my small bag...which is stupid...
In the end...I choose to check in...
To be continue....
Too tired...need to sleep now...
It was just a tiny black bag...around 8kg.
In fact...it might be smaller than a usual secondary school student school bag...which i also manage to squeeze in my sleeping bag...
Is about one third of my usual Karrimor heavy duty backpack...
What's more...I can actually just hand carry this bag and dun have to check-in...
Just as I am so proud of this tiny bag...and decided to just NOT check in anything...the check in ldy ask me if i have any sharp objects in my bag...
SHIT!...my scissor...I was givena choice to...throw it away or check in my small bag...which is stupid...
In the end...I choose to check in...
To be continue....
Too tired...need to sleep now...
This trip...
It was full of surpirse actually...
Now that i am brighten up by previous posting..I couldn't stop writing...
My flight was 9.55am on that day...
And i was told to be 2 hours early...
I start to pack my bags at around 3am...
and stay up until 6.30am...ate breakfast...
left home at 7.15am..walk to the bus stop and board the bus at 8.15...
And saw olive boy...
OLIVE BOY??!!?...
wait a minute...am I dreaming?..
I guess the two of us...are simply too fated to meet time and again...
In case u forget who olive boy is...please check my previous blog...dated from late January till May...anyway...yah...he was on the same bus...
which goes to the airport...
AND there was a girl sitting next to him...
a rather sweet looking girl...
His girlfren.
And guess what...they are also heading for amsterdam...where I am going for my connectig flights to budapest...
coincidence??...
Things happen for a reason...
But...at this point...I guess we are just fated to meet again and again...
life is strange...
fated to meet just means fated to meet..and doesn't really means anything...
at least this is how i feel now...
Anyway...we have a nice chat on the bus...and say good bye when we reach the airport and they rush to check in....
and this is how my journey started.291005
011105
Now that i am brighten up by previous posting..I couldn't stop writing...
My flight was 9.55am on that day...
And i was told to be 2 hours early...
I start to pack my bags at around 3am...
and stay up until 6.30am...ate breakfast...
left home at 7.15am..walk to the bus stop and board the bus at 8.15...
And saw olive boy...
OLIVE BOY??!!?...
wait a minute...am I dreaming?..
I guess the two of us...are simply too fated to meet time and again...
In case u forget who olive boy is...please check my previous blog...dated from late January till May...anyway...yah...he was on the same bus...
which goes to the airport...
AND there was a girl sitting next to him...
a rather sweet looking girl...
His girlfren.
And guess what...they are also heading for amsterdam...where I am going for my connectig flights to budapest...
coincidence??...
Things happen for a reason...
But...at this point...I guess we are just fated to meet again and again...
life is strange...
fated to meet just means fated to meet..and doesn't really means anything...
at least this is how i feel now...
Anyway...we have a nice chat on the bus...and say good bye when we reach the airport and they rush to check in....
and this is how my journey started.291005
011105
Oh!!! Halloween...and Abbey National...
Last Friday was my last day in Abbey Bank. And that happen to be the halloween celebration day for the bank. And I was tod to dress up under the department theme or else I canot enter the building. And the theme was pirate.
How exciting...
I really wonder to want extend will people put in effort to this...
and to my surprise....EVERYBODY!
My supervisor bought a pirate hat...with a toy sword...and wear crop pants...my colleague sitting next to me...bought a ballon parrot which has a built in weight which can actually balance and sit nicely on ur shoulder....and the alpha team Margaret...got a mask...and wig...and wears..big fat gold chain around her neck...my manager Ann...puts on a weird looking pumkin suit...with the leave as her hat...the underwirter team (Risk department) dress up as the fireman....and the Opening team..dress up as cowboys....and the telephone service team...are in pyjamas....
SpeCtacular!...
Just imagine..those people whom i have mention has been wearing suits and tie...since I first came to work in this office...and seeing them in costume...
is enough to brighten up my day...A ZILLION TIMES!...
Whats more...
Chris...he is in this handsome yet cute looking pirate image...white shirt black vest...(SAME AS ME!)...crop pants...and a SCAR drawn on his face....and me...I was ALSO happen to be wearing a white shrt black vest(which was actually my retaurant uniform)...with strippy crop pants...(modified from my usual pants)..plus big dangling earrings...with a scaf over my head...
I was going to take a picture of him with the scar on his face at the en of the day when i realise he had wash the scar off half an hour before office hours...
And i was disappointed and say to him..."oh...I wanted to take a picture of ur scar face..."...and he says..."give me a minte..."...as i wonder what he was doing...he draw a scar on a post-it...and stick it on his face a pose for me...
Cute?
SOOO CUTE...
And after work...I went to meet my colleagues for a drink...talk to him for a while...and he is really cute...AND SOTTISH!...ahhh...i like him...
hmmm...watever...too late...that is my last day of work...
OH BUT BUT!!!...i ask for his email addresss so thati can sent hm the photo...
HOW SMART OF ME....
What a day...28th October 2005
Life is beautiful isn't it....
How exciting...
I really wonder to want extend will people put in effort to this...
and to my surprise....EVERYBODY!
My supervisor bought a pirate hat...with a toy sword...and wear crop pants...my colleague sitting next to me...bought a ballon parrot which has a built in weight which can actually balance and sit nicely on ur shoulder....and the alpha team Margaret...got a mask...and wig...and wears..big fat gold chain around her neck...my manager Ann...puts on a weird looking pumkin suit...with the leave as her hat...the underwirter team (Risk department) dress up as the fireman....and the Opening team..dress up as cowboys....and the telephone service team...are in pyjamas....
SpeCtacular!...
Just imagine..those people whom i have mention has been wearing suits and tie...since I first came to work in this office...and seeing them in costume...
is enough to brighten up my day...A ZILLION TIMES!...
Whats more...
Chris...he is in this handsome yet cute looking pirate image...white shirt black vest...(SAME AS ME!)...crop pants...and a SCAR drawn on his face....and me...I was ALSO happen to be wearing a white shrt black vest(which was actually my retaurant uniform)...with strippy crop pants...(modified from my usual pants)..plus big dangling earrings...with a scaf over my head...
I was going to take a picture of him with the scar on his face at the en of the day when i realise he had wash the scar off half an hour before office hours...
And i was disappointed and say to him..."oh...I wanted to take a picture of ur scar face..."...and he says..."give me a minte..."...as i wonder what he was doing...he draw a scar on a post-it...and stick it on his face a pose for me...
Cute?
SOOO CUTE...
And after work...I went to meet my colleagues for a drink...talk to him for a while...and he is really cute...AND SOTTISH!...ahhh...i like him...
hmmm...watever...too late...that is my last day of work...
OH BUT BUT!!!...i ask for his email addresss so thati can sent hm the photo...
HOW SMART OF ME....
What a day...28th October 2005
Life is beautiful isn't it....
BuDaPeSt!!!! AgAIn!
Ahh...to say that budapest is nice is not being fair...
But somehow.."nice" seems to be the best word to describe it...
Perhaps a wee bit of melancholy got over me...
which makes me fail to appreciate more things around me...
But...I have to say..this is a...erm...nice place...
Nice is just the right word...really...
I will not use "nice" to decribe Glasgow in the first place...
Glasgow...hmm....dun noe how to describe.
The thing that amuse me is that...this place reminds me of malaysia...
Is a mix up of old and new...old shops old vintage cars..with high-tec laptop and mobile...yet...people use ancient looking toilets and tram...live in old buildings...
I am especially amused by my friends ancient looking washing machine...ah...love old old stuff...yet yet...so many new things going on at the same time...the clashes of old and new is just so intriguing...and makes me wonder how in the world they can actually co-exist.
Suddenly...another word comes into my mind..."interesting"...
Yes...budaest IS interesting...hmm....
I think I am beggining to see it now...
before that...I was blind by my melancholy...
Ahh...
Nice and interesting...that is...
budapest...
maybe...also...
amusing?..
hmmmm...watever...
time for bed...
But somehow.."nice" seems to be the best word to describe it...
Perhaps a wee bit of melancholy got over me...
which makes me fail to appreciate more things around me...
But...I have to say..this is a...erm...nice place...
Nice is just the right word...really...
I will not use "nice" to decribe Glasgow in the first place...
Glasgow...hmm....dun noe how to describe.
The thing that amuse me is that...this place reminds me of malaysia...
Is a mix up of old and new...old shops old vintage cars..with high-tec laptop and mobile...yet...people use ancient looking toilets and tram...live in old buildings...
I am especially amused by my friends ancient looking washing machine...ah...love old old stuff...yet yet...so many new things going on at the same time...the clashes of old and new is just so intriguing...and makes me wonder how in the world they can actually co-exist.
Suddenly...another word comes into my mind..."interesting"...
Yes...budaest IS interesting...hmm....
I think I am beggining to see it now...
before that...I was blind by my melancholy...
Ahh...
Nice and interesting...that is...
budapest...
maybe...also...
amusing?..
hmmmm...watever...
time for bed...
Ok or Not...
Well...budapest is nice...
but somehow...it keeps reminding me of him...
Like the way my friend finish her meal with a piece of bread wiping away the sauce off her plate...very greek...and it reminds me of him...the couples i saw everywhere ...remind me of him...cheese i ate...remind me of him...the colour of her eyes...reminds me of him...
I am so sure I have gotten over him...so sure...
but somehow...he is still there in my mind somewhere...everywhere...
my life...now full of reference about him...
is already a fact now...and I can do nothing about it...
I really dun hate him anymore...
in fact i never did..
And i couldn't even make up my mind whether I actually was angry with him...
or was disapponted with him...
or maybe i was just sad becos something has ended...
or..I really don't know...
Hmm...BUT BUT...
Budapest is nice...nice...
Nice...
I am just being emotional suddenly...
but somehow...it keeps reminding me of him...
Like the way my friend finish her meal with a piece of bread wiping away the sauce off her plate...very greek...and it reminds me of him...the couples i saw everywhere ...remind me of him...cheese i ate...remind me of him...the colour of her eyes...reminds me of him...
I am so sure I have gotten over him...so sure...
but somehow...he is still there in my mind somewhere...everywhere...
my life...now full of reference about him...
is already a fact now...and I can do nothing about it...
I really dun hate him anymore...
in fact i never did..
And i couldn't even make up my mind whether I actually was angry with him...
or was disapponted with him...
or maybe i was just sad becos something has ended...
or..I really don't know...
Hmm...BUT BUT...
Budapest is nice...nice...
Nice...
I am just being emotional suddenly...
Monday, October 31, 2005
BuDaPeSt!!!!
LoVelY...This place is sooo lovely...
I am SOOO glad that I have decided to come...
So different...
Simply beautiful...
That is what I like about traveling....
301005
I am SOOO glad that I have decided to come...
So different...
Simply beautiful...
That is what I like about traveling....
301005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
This guy...
I can't believe myself...
I am suppose to be moaning...over my lost love....
Yet...there is this cute guy in my department who occassionally sits opposite my desk...and whenever i look up to check the time on the clock...i will catch a glimpse of him....and sometimes...he will caught me looking...and...I have been wondering...maybe he caught me looking...becos he was also...looking at me...
Ahhh...love that feeling...makes me feel alive again...
Oh...and he is really cute...that cute smile on his face...I like it...
I got to know him...becos i was offering people around me biscuit I brought to office
..he happens to love it...and I like it too...that biscuit...is called "tuc in"
Suddenly...I found one major advantage of being single again...
I can love again...I mean...I can enjoy the feeling of falling in love again...
Or..simply just enjoy the fact that I can fancy some guy in the office without feeling guilty...hmmm...not bad not bad...
I think...I have been coping very well with my life now...
hahahaha...
Oh...and...some updates to my friends...I am going to Budapest to visit friend this saturday....
SO look forward!!!!
For those who dun noe...Budapest is in Hungary.
And and...hmm...oh
Tomolo is my last day working in the bank...and also the halloween celebration..so we are suppose to dress up..under the theme " Pirates"....I am planning to wear BIG DANGLING earrings and wrap skirts...with a scarf over my head..and do multiple plaits to me hair....I wonder what Chris will dress up as...opps...aye...his name...that office guy...his name is chris. But...yah...last day....bye bye Chris....
I guess memory is more beautiful when nothing actually happens...
So much more beautiful...
Having said this...
I wonder when will I ever love anyone again...
So beautiful...I wish nothing ever happens....
How sad...
Contradicting...
really...
271005
strangecloud
I am suppose to be moaning...over my lost love....
Yet...there is this cute guy in my department who occassionally sits opposite my desk...and whenever i look up to check the time on the clock...i will catch a glimpse of him....and sometimes...he will caught me looking...and...I have been wondering...maybe he caught me looking...becos he was also...looking at me...
Ahhh...love that feeling...makes me feel alive again...
Oh...and he is really cute...that cute smile on his face...I like it...
I got to know him...becos i was offering people around me biscuit I brought to office
..he happens to love it...and I like it too...that biscuit...is called "tuc in"
Suddenly...I found one major advantage of being single again...
I can love again...I mean...I can enjoy the feeling of falling in love again...
Or..simply just enjoy the fact that I can fancy some guy in the office without feeling guilty...hmmm...not bad not bad...
I think...I have been coping very well with my life now...
hahahaha...
Oh...and...some updates to my friends...I am going to Budapest to visit friend this saturday....
SO look forward!!!!
For those who dun noe...Budapest is in Hungary.
And and...hmm...oh
Tomolo is my last day working in the bank...and also the halloween celebration..so we are suppose to dress up..under the theme " Pirates"....I am planning to wear BIG DANGLING earrings and wrap skirts...with a scarf over my head..and do multiple plaits to me hair....I wonder what Chris will dress up as...opps...aye...his name...that office guy...his name is chris. But...yah...last day....bye bye Chris....
I guess memory is more beautiful when nothing actually happens...
So much more beautiful...
Having said this...
I wonder when will I ever love anyone again...
So beautiful...I wish nothing ever happens....
How sad...
Contradicting...
really...
271005
strangecloud
Thursday, October 13, 2005
I am ok...
I think I am ok now...
I dun have anymore tears for me to cry...
I am done.
Maybe...just a bit more...
I dun have anymore tears for me to cry...
I am done.
Maybe...just a bit more...
Friday, September 23, 2005
To die a broken heart...
Yes...I am broken hearted.
And the worst thing is...I cannt bring myself blame him or hate him...because I can understand why...
There are too many obstacle...too many questions all along as to how this can continue...
maybe i should thank him.....that it is over now...and I am set free again....into the open water...as a fish....
However...i cannot see him again...
i suspect I will just cry and cry...even by starting to think about how i should even reply his email...
Hence i cannot see him anymore...
Though he did say that he hope to see me again...and we can still be friends....
I guess it is no harm still having a friend....but i just cannot see him anymore...
Not that I am angry or cannot forgive him.
Just that It is too painful....
We can still be friends...but things will never be the same again...
will never be like what our friendship had started to be...
and at this moment at least...
I think I just need to run away from him...and never speak to him again...
until I can get over him...
which will probably take a long long long time.....
Now...i am just broken hearted.
Now...I just want to cry and cry...until I am too tired...and fall asleep.
Hopefully the next morning...the sun will shine again...but ohh...I love the rain...
what a mix feeling...
230905
And the worst thing is...I cannt bring myself blame him or hate him...because I can understand why...
There are too many obstacle...too many questions all along as to how this can continue...
maybe i should thank him.....that it is over now...and I am set free again....into the open water...as a fish....
However...i cannot see him again...
i suspect I will just cry and cry...even by starting to think about how i should even reply his email...
Hence i cannot see him anymore...
Though he did say that he hope to see me again...and we can still be friends....
I guess it is no harm still having a friend....but i just cannot see him anymore...
Not that I am angry or cannot forgive him.
Just that It is too painful....
We can still be friends...but things will never be the same again...
will never be like what our friendship had started to be...
and at this moment at least...
I think I just need to run away from him...and never speak to him again...
until I can get over him...
which will probably take a long long long time.....
Now...i am just broken hearted.
Now...I just want to cry and cry...until I am too tired...and fall asleep.
Hopefully the next morning...the sun will shine again...but ohh...I love the rain...
what a mix feeling...
230905
Friday, September 09, 2005
The most painful of all...
is a PAPERCUT suddenly while opening a brand new envelope...the pain...is soooo minor, NO BLOOD......yet send chill down your spine...that is what happen to me just now in the office......how annoying.
090905
090905
Dying to blog...
Yes...dying to blog....not being able to blog is like being banned from expressing..and basically I will die.
Yet...the one hour lunch break is not even enough for me to check and reply all my mails....today...i have decided to risk being late to blog this few lines...better than nothing i suppose.
I am happy at the moment.
And is very fine.
That's all folks.
See you soon!
090905
Yet...the one hour lunch break is not even enough for me to check and reply all my mails....today...i have decided to risk being late to blog this few lines...better than nothing i suppose.
I am happy at the moment.
And is very fine.
That's all folks.
See you soon!
090905
Friday, August 26, 2005
THE SHOES.
Remember this posting a few months ago....the pair of strippy shoes i like....
I bought them finally...
I walk past that shop again today and notice a new display....and look at that...the one in the middle...ahhh...I LOVEEE that colour...
It was a long long story in fact.
A few days ago...I was walking past the shop which is closed....but I noticed that the shop is actually marking down prices for shoes from the previous season....3 month after I have given up hope to buy that pair of shoes...I thought i should
go back and find out....saw both the brown and orange strippy shoes on sale with a £10 discount...which means...it only cost £24.99!!!!....I love the orange one yet i know the brown one will be more pratical to match my clothes...in the end..i ask the shop assisitant to get me size 5 for both colours becos i cannot decided.....she came back and told me the orange dun have any size 5 and the brown one is the last pair left and i bought it....
Reach home....and felt guilty that I have speed a day's pay to buy a pair of shoes....hesitate for 2 days...wear the shoes a couple of time around my room and realise size 5 is size 38....and it is a bit too big...becos i amused to size 37 which is size 4.5.....so i have decided...if am speeing my money...i should spend it on the correct and comoftable pair...and moreover...it is not the orange pair i want...i decided toget it refund....
I went back....thinking i would just change the size....i ask the shop assisitant to check if it has size 4.5 ......then...she came back and say....that there isn't any 4.5 for the brown shoes....BUT!...there is one last pair for the ORANGE PAIR!!!!!!...I am delighted....at first i thought if they dun have size 4.5....i would just refund and be happy ....then i change my mind....and grab the orange pair to the cashier to do the exchange.....
To my surprise...I got another bonus...the last orange pair was further mark down to £19.99....cash cannot be refund...but i was given a £5 cash voucher......
I am now happy with my new orange strippy shoes....will put them on and take a picture to post online next time...
Till then,,,,
260805
I bought them finally...
I walk past that shop again today and notice a new display....and look at that...the one in the middle...ahhh...I LOVEEE that colour...
It was a long long story in fact.
A few days ago...I was walking past the shop which is closed....but I noticed that the shop is actually marking down prices for shoes from the previous season....3 month after I have given up hope to buy that pair of shoes...I thought i should
go back and find out....saw both the brown and orange strippy shoes on sale with a £10 discount...which means...it only cost £24.99!!!!....I love the orange one yet i know the brown one will be more pratical to match my clothes...in the end..i ask the shop assisitant to get me size 5 for both colours becos i cannot decided.....she came back and told me the orange dun have any size 5 and the brown one is the last pair left and i bought it....
Reach home....and felt guilty that I have speed a day's pay to buy a pair of shoes....hesitate for 2 days...wear the shoes a couple of time around my room and realise size 5 is size 38....and it is a bit too big...becos i amused to size 37 which is size 4.5.....so i have decided...if am speeing my money...i should spend it on the correct and comoftable pair...and moreover...it is not the orange pair i want...i decided toget it refund....
I went back....thinking i would just change the size....i ask the shop assisitant to check if it has size 4.5 ......then...she came back and say....that there isn't any 4.5 for the brown shoes....BUT!...there is one last pair for the ORANGE PAIR!!!!!!...I am delighted....at first i thought if they dun have size 4.5....i would just refund and be happy ....then i change my mind....and grab the orange pair to the cashier to do the exchange.....
To my surprise...I got another bonus...the last orange pair was further mark down to £19.99....cash cannot be refund...but i was given a £5 cash voucher......
I am now happy with my new orange strippy shoes....will put them on and take a picture to post online next time...
Till then,,,,
260805
Monday, August 15, 2005
I worked in a bank.
I have been working in a bank for 3 weeks.
It is indeed a boring job.
But i wouldn't say i learn nothing.
Afterall you learn something everyday...
But shit...library is closing soon...
i shall tell you guys about it tomolo!
Take care everyone...including that person who leave the crap comment.
See you!
150805
It is indeed a boring job.
But i wouldn't say i learn nothing.
Afterall you learn something everyday...
But shit...library is closing soon...
i shall tell you guys about it tomolo!
Take care everyone...including that person who leave the crap comment.
See you!
150805
Crap!
I crave comments...I like to know what people think....BUT...i never did know that JUNK COMMENTS exist...until today!...
just scroll down and see my previous post...i mean the comments...CRAP!
Thanks for the comments...yah...thanks...whoever post it...
Meanwhile...all other comments are still welcome!
Yeah...i am happy today actually.
Happy.
150805
just scroll down and see my previous post...i mean the comments...CRAP!
Thanks for the comments...yah...thanks...whoever post it...
Meanwhile...all other comments are still welcome!
Yeah...i am happy today actually.
Happy.
150805
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Rootless cloud...
There are more than one reason why i am holding onto this fragile realtionship...
One of them is because i feel rootless.
I used to have this nightmare of myself floating away uncontrollably...and struggling to get my foot to the ground....
which is DAMN SCARY!...
And i always noe i am a floaty person...
like my chinese name....
the word "yun" means cloud...but my "yun" had a "grass" character attached to it...
signifying adding roots to clouds...so that it is more stable...i guess....
and yes...i need something to hold onto...before i get blown away and lost myself...
I need a base....
I need somewhere to go home to...
I need someone whom i can rest my heart with...
so that whenever...and wherever i go...they is a home for my heart and soul...
I like to wander around the world...but that is provided...my heart is settled...so that my body can wonder in peace..if this make sense to all of you...
it make sense to me at least...
By the way...today is Singapore's national Day...
Count on me singapore!
090805
One of them is because i feel rootless.
I used to have this nightmare of myself floating away uncontrollably...and struggling to get my foot to the ground....
which is DAMN SCARY!...
And i always noe i am a floaty person...
like my chinese name....
the word "yun" means cloud...but my "yun" had a "grass" character attached to it...
signifying adding roots to clouds...so that it is more stable...i guess....
and yes...i need something to hold onto...before i get blown away and lost myself...
I need a base....
I need somewhere to go home to...
I need someone whom i can rest my heart with...
so that whenever...and wherever i go...they is a home for my heart and soul...
I like to wander around the world...but that is provided...my heart is settled...so that my body can wonder in peace..if this make sense to all of you...
it make sense to me at least...
By the way...today is Singapore's national Day...
Count on me singapore!
090805
Friday, August 05, 2005
Who is the ONE?
What happens when you meet the right guy...at the wrong time...?
Yahui's analysis is....he is then...the WRONG ONE.
Or the wrong guy at the right time?...
Still WRONG.
So...it must be the right guy at the right time...
which can be really hard...
that is why...we have to cherish affinity...
er..last queistion...
what happens if he is the wrong guy at the wrong time?..
Ok stupid question....
Just so difficult to find the ONE...where is my NEO...
bless me...
050805
Yahui's analysis is....he is then...the WRONG ONE.
Or the wrong guy at the right time?...
Still WRONG.
So...it must be the right guy at the right time...
which can be really hard...
that is why...we have to cherish affinity...
er..last queistion...
what happens if he is the wrong guy at the wrong time?..
Ok stupid question....
Just so difficult to find the ONE...where is my NEO...
bless me...
050805
The thing about long hair and man...and me..
Ok...there are 2 issues about long hair and man...
One is their obssession with woman who has long hair(me?)
the other is growing long hair themselves...
The first one...is commonly known.
It seems to me that man like women with long hair...
i din keep my hair becos of that though...
there are statistic to actually shows this...
people me around are solid examples ...
my brother goes crazy when he sees a long hair girl...
but he never did appreciate his own baby sister long hair(me)...
he complains that they are everywhere in the house...
but he likes one whenever he sees one...
Then it is about man having long hair...
Once heard a friend say...that a man will have long hair at least once in their life time...
It's like...they want to know what it's like...sort of experimenting with their potential of having a long hair look..
and effects...or want to feel wild at some point of their life...usually when they are young...
and when they had enough of it...is satisfy with the experiment or had drawn enough conclusion from their attempt...they will just cut it off....and keep short..becos they are too lazy to really take care of it...
My brothers...both of them had long hair when they are much younger...
now...they just couldn't be bother...
my love...he used to have long curly hair....which i find it look rather amusing...not bad though...
now..he just like to shave it whenever he finds it annoying...
the conclusion is...once they have grown out of it...
the actual word is...mature enough...
they will just cut it.
Was talking about this in the office today with a colleague...
saw an application with the applicants sending in IDs for verifications...one had a "before" and the other the "after look" long hair and short haired....he looks really good with long hair...like those hunk in romance stories...short hair...he looks good too...but definitely more down to earth and real...
both nevertheless...my colleague and i both agree he is gorgeous...
haha...anyway...so much for the hair issue...
for girl...i am not sure if I am ever enough of my long hair...
somehow it is more like a cycle...
i will had enough one day and decide to cut it really short or even shave it...
and grow it all over again...for years...and cut again.....
dun noe...maybe when i am older...
i will just keep it short like my mum...
hmm...so..maybe it is not only a guy's mentality...
maybe...when i had enough....that is it...
i just dun noe when that is...
we shall see...
050805
One is their obssession with woman who has long hair(me?)
the other is growing long hair themselves...
The first one...is commonly known.
It seems to me that man like women with long hair...
i din keep my hair becos of that though...
there are statistic to actually shows this...
people me around are solid examples ...
my brother goes crazy when he sees a long hair girl...
but he never did appreciate his own baby sister long hair(me)...
he complains that they are everywhere in the house...
but he likes one whenever he sees one...
Then it is about man having long hair...
Once heard a friend say...that a man will have long hair at least once in their life time...
It's like...they want to know what it's like...sort of experimenting with their potential of having a long hair look..
and effects...or want to feel wild at some point of their life...usually when they are young...
and when they had enough of it...is satisfy with the experiment or had drawn enough conclusion from their attempt...they will just cut it off....and keep short..becos they are too lazy to really take care of it...
My brothers...both of them had long hair when they are much younger...
now...they just couldn't be bother...
my love...he used to have long curly hair....which i find it look rather amusing...not bad though...
now..he just like to shave it whenever he finds it annoying...
the conclusion is...once they have grown out of it...
the actual word is...mature enough...
they will just cut it.
Was talking about this in the office today with a colleague...
saw an application with the applicants sending in IDs for verifications...one had a "before" and the other the "after look" long hair and short haired....he looks really good with long hair...like those hunk in romance stories...short hair...he looks good too...but definitely more down to earth and real...
both nevertheless...my colleague and i both agree he is gorgeous...
haha...anyway...so much for the hair issue...
for girl...i am not sure if I am ever enough of my long hair...
somehow it is more like a cycle...
i will had enough one day and decide to cut it really short or even shave it...
and grow it all over again...for years...and cut again.....
dun noe...maybe when i am older...
i will just keep it short like my mum...
hmm...so..maybe it is not only a guy's mentality...
maybe...when i had enough....that is it...
i just dun noe when that is...
we shall see...
050805
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Artist Residencies...
Is hoping to survive as a practicing artist thru artist residencies...
and is on top of all my agendas including my love...
Travel and practice art is a dream...love is something that will come by if it does....
practice is practrice...art is art...
and so...my next stop...regardless of watever...is MANCHESTER CHINESE ART CENTRE..I hope.
040805
and is on top of all my agendas including my love...
Travel and practice art is a dream...love is something that will come by if it does....
practice is practrice...art is art...
and so...my next stop...regardless of watever...is MANCHESTER CHINESE ART CENTRE..I hope.
040805
My horoscope for the day tells me this...
"THERE IS NO point in wondering when all you have to do is ask? Instead of staring wistfully out the window why don't you knock on someone's door and see if they answer it or not? Venus is guiding you, is that a big enough hint?"
Maybe I should just ask...yah...
040805
"THERE IS NO point in wondering when all you have to do is ask? Instead of staring wistfully out the window why don't you knock on someone's door and see if they answer it or not? Venus is guiding you, is that a big enough hint?"
Maybe I should just ask...yah...
040805
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Enough.
Spend the whole time thinking...and thinking....
I have decided to believe in him.
Woman are stupid not because we are, but we choose to be.
For me, I choose to believe.
It is just too easy to have doubts...
and you need to be very very brave to believe...
To doubt just makes you more miserable...
To believe is to have hope...
The most is just to be very hurt...at least then i know i really had loved...
I believe him.
This is enough.
030805
I have decided to believe in him.
Woman are stupid not because we are, but we choose to be.
For me, I choose to believe.
It is just too easy to have doubts...
and you need to be very very brave to believe...
To doubt just makes you more miserable...
To believe is to have hope...
The most is just to be very hurt...at least then i know i really had loved...
I believe him.
This is enough.
030805
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Again and again...
I have been telling you people that things is coming to an end...blah blah...
so many times....i guess everyone is yawning already....
apparently...I don't want things to really end....
I guess I need more time then i think I would need...
not to forget...but to put him somewhere in my heart so remote that it won't be able to trigger any senses in my heart...
I am not sure if i can face him when he comes back...
maybe i think too much...
maybe he did love me.
Ok..there i go again...
I shut up.
020805
so many times....i guess everyone is yawning already....
apparently...I don't want things to really end....
I guess I need more time then i think I would need...
not to forget...but to put him somewhere in my heart so remote that it won't be able to trigger any senses in my heart...
I am not sure if i can face him when he comes back...
maybe i think too much...
maybe he did love me.
Ok..there i go again...
I shut up.
020805
The mysterious girlfriend...
The mystery of whether that lovely girl is his girlfriend or not, is never solved.
I am sure she was...but I don't know if she still is...not even sure if she is when she came for the degree show..and after....
It was never answered...that is because i never did ask him.
Now...It is not important anymore....
yet...i am still very bothered by it.
Is she or is she not?
Can you tell me, please?
020805
I am sure she was...but I don't know if she still is...not even sure if she is when she came for the degree show..and after....
It was never answered...that is because i never did ask him.
Now...It is not important anymore....
yet...i am still very bothered by it.
Is she or is she not?
Can you tell me, please?
020805
Writing to happiness....
I was checking out JM' blog...and I realise he wasn't blogging that much lately....he said...he is out of depression that is why...
which means the more depress he is...the more he writes...
For me, It is the opposite...though i already knew we are opposite in many ways...this is yet another thing...
I write when I am happy...
I am happy when i write...
the cycle goes on...the happier i am the more i write...
the more i write...the happier i am...
That is why you see me flood the columns when I am falling in love....
and see the lines disappearing when my heart is broken....
When I am happy...i want the whole world to know...
when i am sad...I just want to disappear in thin air...
the sadder i am...the quieter i become...both mentally and physically....
i will shut down and stop talking...I will keep so quiet that people will not realise that i even exist...
And so...i am not that sad to keep too quiet...
but have got nothing to say really becos i am not too happy as well...
at this point...
I am just waiting...
for something to come to an end...
If this is ever going to end...
It is so painful now...i wish he can just say he dun love me anymore....
So that i can just put a fullstop to this.
Uncertainty is beautiful....yet so painful...
Then JM reminded me...there is nothing to wait for actually...
nothing has happen in the first place.
Nothing...
I got his point eventually...
Totally.
I guess i shall be very quiet for a while...
020805
which means the more depress he is...the more he writes...
For me, It is the opposite...though i already knew we are opposite in many ways...this is yet another thing...
I write when I am happy...
I am happy when i write...
the cycle goes on...the happier i am the more i write...
the more i write...the happier i am...
That is why you see me flood the columns when I am falling in love....
and see the lines disappearing when my heart is broken....
When I am happy...i want the whole world to know...
when i am sad...I just want to disappear in thin air...
the sadder i am...the quieter i become...both mentally and physically....
i will shut down and stop talking...I will keep so quiet that people will not realise that i even exist...
And so...i am not that sad to keep too quiet...
but have got nothing to say really becos i am not too happy as well...
at this point...
I am just waiting...
for something to come to an end...
If this is ever going to end...
It is so painful now...i wish he can just say he dun love me anymore....
So that i can just put a fullstop to this.
Uncertainty is beautiful....yet so painful...
Then JM reminded me...there is nothing to wait for actually...
nothing has happen in the first place.
Nothing...
I got his point eventually...
Totally.
I guess i shall be very quiet for a while...
020805
Being a woman is not easy...
Indeed...ladies out there...nodding your heads aready???..
We have too much to think about....not as if the man dun...but you see...it is easy for a man...to pursue whatever...and assume the woman they love will always be by their side wherever they go...but for woman....is it logical if i say...i hope my man will be by my side wherever i go?..i mean..give up his dreams and follow me...it would be ridiculous...and i won't want that to happen either...and so...how will it work...?
I dun believe in long distance relationship...too painful and impractical....
So...if i want to do what i want to do...
What do i really want?
ok...I am not speaking logically already...am I?
020805
We have too much to think about....not as if the man dun...but you see...it is easy for a man...to pursue whatever...and assume the woman they love will always be by their side wherever they go...but for woman....is it logical if i say...i hope my man will be by my side wherever i go?..i mean..give up his dreams and follow me...it would be ridiculous...and i won't want that to happen either...and so...how will it work...?
I dun believe in long distance relationship...too painful and impractical....
So...if i want to do what i want to do...
What do i really want?
ok...I am not speaking logically already...am I?
020805
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
To ask someone to take care of my heart ...
Am I too much to ask someone to take care of my heart...
I am just asking...
I am quite an easy maintenance person...
I dun need much...
Just a little air...enough to breathe...
just a little food...keep me moving...
Just a little sleep...keep me freash everyday..
just a little music...soothe my mood...
just a little love...in any form...
I guess..that is all i need for the time being...
Anyone can give me that??
Thanks you very much.
250705
I am just asking...
I am quite an easy maintenance person...
I dun need much...
Just a little air...enough to breathe...
just a little food...keep me moving...
Just a little sleep...keep me freash everyday..
just a little music...soothe my mood...
just a little love...in any form...
I guess..that is all i need for the time being...
Anyone can give me that??
Thanks you very much.
250705
Back to normal...
Life is back to normal...
Fairy tale on pause mode...
Rents to pay...
Financial in RED...
din win the lottery...
And so..I just found out I have been eating moldy bread again...
one bite...saw the mold..and freak out...not becos i see the mold...as if i have not eaten moldy bread before...but freak out becos...i am back to moldy bread eating days...
Indeed life is BACK to normal...
As if it is not enough...
I just found out that the butter is out of date as well...
as if i have not eaten any out of date food...in fact i always buy out of date food becos they are cheaper...
Hence I realise, indulging myself in 2 apples a day is sinful now...
Food ration should be back...
and...what else...I am thinking...yah...cruel life is back...
And that is life...
and oh...my agent just call...which means...work is back as well...what a life...
I miss my fairy tale...
where is my tall dark and handsome prince...
or my dwarf?
watever...
250705
Fairy tale on pause mode...
Rents to pay...
Financial in RED...
din win the lottery...
And so..I just found out I have been eating moldy bread again...
one bite...saw the mold..and freak out...not becos i see the mold...as if i have not eaten moldy bread before...but freak out becos...i am back to moldy bread eating days...
Indeed life is BACK to normal...
As if it is not enough...
I just found out that the butter is out of date as well...
as if i have not eaten any out of date food...in fact i always buy out of date food becos they are cheaper...
Hence I realise, indulging myself in 2 apples a day is sinful now...
Food ration should be back...
and...what else...I am thinking...yah...cruel life is back...
And that is life...
and oh...my agent just call...which means...work is back as well...what a life...
I miss my fairy tale...
where is my tall dark and handsome prince...
or my dwarf?
watever...
250705
Friday, July 22, 2005
Friday Fantasy...
Tonight I shall sleep as if I have won the Jackpot...which means...I probably couldn't sleep...becos I will too excited as if I have won...you know what i mean...
66Miliion...who can sleep...you tell me...
Anyway...
Enough of money...if i win ...I win...if i dun...I dun...
So for the day...
I have talking to my electric fren JM...and Yanni...
and as my mobile credit is very low...I cannot afford to sent him sms today...
maybe one last one before i sleep tonight...
Ah...that's all...
210705
66Miliion...who can sleep...you tell me...
Anyway...
Enough of money...if i win ...I win...if i dun...I dun...
So for the day...
I have talking to my electric fren JM...and Yanni...
and as my mobile credit is very low...I cannot afford to sent him sms today...
maybe one last one before i sleep tonight...
Ah...that's all...
210705
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