2009

It is the time of the year to think about what i want to do for next year.
I have a feeling 2009 will be exciting.
Somehow, I just cannot foresee anything for my 2009 since all my plans are screwed up...and anything can happen now.
But the usual resolutions are...

1. Publish a book. (Since 1998-preparing mode)
2. Start a website. (since 2004-preparing mode)
3. Do a solo (since 2002...planning mode)
4. Travel more...go diving!(continuation of my backpacking trips...)
5. Have more savings.(Never enough)
6. Have my own home.(Yearning...)
7. Write more stuffs.(Doing well lately !)
8. DO MORE ART.
9. Go study my MFA.
10. *Secret*

On self improvement,

1. Talk less.
2. Less temper.
3. More smile.
4. Drink more water.
5. Lose 7kg.
6. Eat healthier
7. Sleep regular
8. Read more.
9. Learn Yoga, swim and exercise more
10. Take dive master course.


And so the usual.
That's all.
2009 should be that simple.

小强！

是在看电视的时候。。。

突然一只黑影爬过荧幕。
琦芸的第一反应就是在两秒中之内
确定了不明物体的身份。

是小强！

琦芸表现的很镇定
因为小强只是在电视荧光幕上爬。
只是在爬。

琦芸不怕只会爬的蟑螂。
爬来爬去的那种是没有什么杀伤力的。
顶多，琦芸不就站在椅子上叫两下。
等它爬够了，就会不见的。

但是琦芸不敢掉以轻心，继续观察。

爬着爬着。。。展开翅膀。。。

飞！


琦芸马上从沙发跳起来，护着头跑！
边跑还边“啊啊”叫。。。

小强飞了半圈停在吊灯的灯泡上。。。
身体一动也不动。。。
可是两条长长的触角却不停地在摆动着。。。

琦芸这时已经被逼到客厅的一个角落。。。

再飞！

啊啊啊啊啊！琦芸又叫！

这一次飞到了琦芸十秒前刚坐着的沙发！

好险！

又飞！

飞到了天花板。

琦芸赶快跑去开大门。。。希望小强只是迷路。。。
飞走就好。

回过头时，发现小强已经不在天花板了。

不妙！
现在琦芸在明，小强在暗。。。
琦芸跑到厨房，继续观察客厅的情况。。。

不一会儿，看到小强从门边飞出去，
停在门口的走廊。

关门！

哈哈！

搞定！

琦芸继续看她的电视，
坐回刚才的那个沙发。

Feel like going away again...

I feel like going away again...
Go to somewhere far far away...
This time go travel longer and further...
Before I go study...
But where can my money come from...
Do what I wanted to do most...
Go...
Just go!

But bad news...

I am out of love again.
Don't ask me why and who.
Just let me moan for my own sadness...
I will be alright soon.

P.s/ ZJ, this is a secret, dun tell ur mum!..lol

Record breaking!!!!

YES! YES! YES!
I have finally broke my post record of having an average rate
of at least 1 posting per day for year 2008.
My highest post rate since I started in 2004...
As I had mentioned about my post rate in relation to my mood,
high post rate means I am happy.

And so, 2008 could be my happiest year since 2004...

Which is good.

Chocolate? No, thanks.

琦芸忘了是什么时候开始，在很久以前就不吃巧克力。
但在记忆中，很小的时候却好象挺爱吃的。

不是因为怕胖。。。
也不是因为觉得巧克力难吃。。。
只是因为每次吃完巧克力后，
心情会变得低落。
一整天还会很忧郁。
跟朋友们说了，
朋友们都会觉得琦芸是怪人。
人家吃了巧克力很开心，
只有琦芸相反，会变得忧郁。

琦芸也不知所以然。。。
但久而久之。。。
因为每次吃了，就不舒服，
也就变得不喜欢。

虽然，时不时还是会吃一点。。。
想说，也许这一次说不定会没事。。。
最后还是会后悔。

今晚，琦芸又吃了巧克力。。。

冬至大过年。。。

琦芸喜欢搓汤圆。。。
因为好玩。
糯米团黏糊糊的。。。
搓呀搓成一粒粒很有趣。。。
有时还会发挥一下创议
搓一些奇怪的形状结果被娘骂。。。
一家人吵吵闹闹的。。。
煮成一锅汤圆。。。

不过已经很久没有这样子很多年了。

今年的冬至。
琦芸从昨天就嚷到现在。。。
要搓汤圆。。。
冬至。。。
也至少要吃碗汤圆吧。。。
她是这么想的。

昨晚打了个电话给在泰国的娘。。。

琦芸：“娘啊。。。你们搓汤圆了吗？”

娘 ：“有啊。。”

琦芸：“我这里没汤圆吃。。。”

娘 ：“自己煮咯。很容易的，。。。先煮一锅糖水。。。。。

。。。”

（说了一大串。。。）

琦芸：“哦，我会煮了。。明天自己会煮来吃的。”


其实，琦芸并不是不会煮。。。
只不过不想自己一个人煮，一个人吃。。。

不过都说冬至大过年了。。。
总不能就这样的过了。。。
又觉得对不起自己。。。

还是煮了。

一大碗的汤圆，
准准搓了29粒。。。
就煮了一碗。
趁热吃了。

就这样。。。
汤圆也搓了，
也煮来吃了。。。
却好象还是少了什么。。。

Old friend...

There is this guy which I like 10 years ago...
And I get to meet him today.
And he will always call out my name from far when he sees me.

Everytime he calls out my name like that...
I will be reminded that I used to quite like him in the past...
Now that I see him again..
I am still happy.

He is getting married next year..
And I feel happy for him.
Really really...
Wish him happy.

:)

By the way...this is a secret...dun tell anybody ok...

Review of 2008 resolution( (status check in bracket!)

2008 Resolution...

1. Publish books. (Still PLANNING)
2. Start a website.(still PLANNING)
3. Do some good shows(DONE 2 groups..YEAH!)
(solo or group-impt thing is so something I am proud of showing).
4. Apply for my scholarship and if I dun get it..
leave singapore and go working holiday.(JCCI did not open their application in the end for people to apply...and i waited for 3 years...DAMN!give me back my 3 years!)
5.If I get the scholarship, prepare myself to study in japan in 2009.(See point 5)
6.If I dun, go work holiday for a year...and study in europe for my MFA.(Trying to apply now,perhaps backpack europe next year...)
7.CUT MY HAIR. (DONE Just in time last week!)

Things I want to buy...always...

1.A good new laptop with all the functions I need.(MY LOVELY MAC BOOK PRO!)
2.A good camera.(My G9!)
3.A good sewing machine.(Not Yet...)

Personal improvements...

1. Healthy weight loss of around 5 to 10 kg.(Never seem to be able to lose any..)
2. Learn Yoga.(stretching count or not?)
3. Read read read...more books.(Plenty...I read a lot lately..)
4. Watch some good shows.(Not yet...Haven't watch cape town 7 becos kanna fy airplane by 3 friends already...)
5.Cultivate good sleeping and eating habits.(Gets worse! practicularly cannot sleep properly...stomach always feels bloaty...)
6. Stop wasting time.(constantly trying to....)

Mental improvements...

1. I hope I am able to throw away some things which I couldn't bear to throw away.(slowly...but yes...little bit)
Some junks around me for years...which I should let go off...and make myself more mobile.
2. As usual, I believe I should talked less over the years. Talk less...but express more in other forms. Talk less...and do more maybe. (talk less as sound...but flood my facebook and blogs with text...and bombard people with msn chats...sorry folks!..please bear with me)

That's all I think...
I believe I have accomplished at least 70% of my resolution before the year ends...
The incomplete ones are due to unforseen circumstances like...cancellation of scholarship sponsorship...which cannot be control by me...

Things needed to be work on are...

My health,my weight and my sleeping habits...

Things that I really hope to do but did not complete are...
My book and my website...

过了这个村。。。

上一篇说到买东西，就让琦芸想起一年前在清迈和父亲逛夜

市的一个小插曲。。。

就在一开始逛夜市的街口，
一个摆着地摊的小姐，手中还织着毛线。。。
地摊上零零碎碎的摆了几个手工娃娃。。。
每一个手工娃娃都只有一只。。。
琦芸一眼就看到了一只手工编织的兔娃娃，很可爱。。。
兔娃娃拎着小红包包还穿着一条小裙子。。。
才刚开始逛不到五分钟。。。
就看到自己很想买的东西。。。
心中有些不知所措。。。
因为前面还有四公里长的夜市还没开始逛，
就冲动地想要买东西不是琦芸的一贯作风。。。

老爸看出了女儿的顾虑。。。


老爸：“喜欢就买，过了这个村。。。”

琦芸：“我知道。。。可是别的村有别的店。。。”


老爸点了点头。。。父女俩继续逛夜市。


走了很久，看来看去。。
就是没有再看到什么想买的东西。。。
心里一直想着那只兔娃娃。。。


最后，
走到街尾，
又一口气走回街口。。。
远处看到那个卖兔娃娃的小姐。。。
依然默默的织着毛线。。。
心中庆幸。。。

走呀走，终于走到摊子前面一看。。。

兔娃娃。。。

被别人买走了。


琦芸有点失望。。。


琦芸：“算了，也许是有缘无份。。。”（自我安慰）

老爸：“不是有缘无份，是你自己选择错过的。。。
下一次看到真的喜欢的就不要犹豫。。喜欢就买。”

琦芸只能点点头认了。
下一次。。。
下一次会看到那么喜欢的。。。
不知道会是什么时候。。。

喜欢与适合。

工作刚好来到花圃。
本来也没有打算在那里买什么。。。
却意外的看到了一盆植物。。。
浅浅粉红色的叶子种在铜色的瓷盆里。。。
很掏人喜欢。。。
就决定买一盆植物送给刚搬新家的朋友。。。
在花圃走来走去。。。
选了一些。。。
也包括那盆本来第一眼就喜欢的。。。
可是到了最后。。。
买的却是种在灰色瓷盆的绿叶植物。。。
一盆自己从来都没有想过会买的。。。

还了钱。。。
捧着植物。。。
觉得有趣。。。
明明开始就很喜欢另一盆。。。
可是却因为某些原因不适合
最后买的却是它。。。


买回家后还越看越喜欢。。。


人生好象也是这样。。。
有的时候喜欢不一定适合。。。
适合却不一定喜欢。。。
不适合的就千万不要选。。。不管有多喜欢。。。
不喜欢的如果适合。。。不妨考虑看看。。。
也许会因为适合而慢慢喜欢。。。

琦芸是这么觉得。

琦芸昨晚应该做多过一个梦。。。

琦芸昨晚不出所料，又做梦了，而且不只一个。。。
但记得的。。。
暂时只有一个。。。


琦芸和好友，韵，去Macdonald喝东西。。。
是五月天的阿信和石头为韵冲的咖啡。。。
还把咖啡倒进一个石头杯里。。
说这样才好喝。。。
琦芸只是坐在旁边看，
因为不喝咖啡。。。

另一个梦。。。
想不起来了。。。
不过确定还有多一个梦。。。

琦芸又做梦了。。。

即琦芸的老爸老妈回泰国后，
琦芸不只又开始失眠而且又开始做梦了。。。

昨天，琦芸梦到自己走进十年都不曾进过的理发店。。。
想把自己乱剪的短头发修一修。。。
理发店门口明明是写着剪头发九块钱。。。
老板娘却硬要收她$34!
说是因为坐在店里等的时候，有用到店里的冷气！
琦芸很生气和老板娘大吵一顿！

吵到一半就醒了。。。

真的是日有所思，夜有所梦。。。
琦芸还真的很想去理发店修一修头发。。。
但十年了。。。
都没有进去过。。。
有一点怕。。。

听起来很可笑吧。。。

做女人。。。

在与友人甲讲电话。。。

琦芸：“给你选，你宁愿又美又胖，还是又瘦又丑？”

甲友：“又美又胖。”

琦芸：“为什么？”

甲友：“ 胖可以瘦身，丑还要整容麻烦。”

琦芸：“那。。。又美又苯，和又丑又聪明呢？”

甲友：“。。。又美又苯”

琦芸：“为什么？”

甲友：“ 因为男人不喜欢女人太聪明。。。”

琦芸：“所以你的选择是做一个又美又胖又苯的女人？”

甲友：“。。。”



同样的问题，琦芸也问了友人乙。。。



琦芸：“给你选，你宁愿又美又胖，还是又瘦又丑？”

乙友：“哇。。。很难叻。。。”

琦芸：“那。。。又美又苯，和又丑又聪明呢？”

乙友：“可以不要选吗？”

琦芸：“不然这样。。。给你优待，
不是很美却很聪明，和不是很聪明却很美，
你想做哪一个？

乙友：“不是很美却很聪明，不过我知道男人应该会比较喜

欢不是很聪明却很美的。”

琦芸：“。。。”


其实问题本身一点也不难。
难就难在还要考虑男人。
这就是做女人。

头发。。。。。。。。。。。剪了。

琦芸今天回去以前工作的地方看老同事。。。
一进门就看到他们站在一块儿。。。


琦芸 ：“大家！我头发剪了！美吗？

M-Chan: “美！虽然好像胖了，不过也美了。”

琦芸 ：“前面那句可以不用说的。。。”

T-San ：“你怎么剪在我心中都是美的。。。”

琦芸 ：“你对我最好了！”

C-Chan：“当然美啦，早该剪了，年青十岁！”

琦芸 ：“就是回来听你讲这一句。。。哈哈”

P-San ：“芸！！！！你为什么剪头发？太可惜了，留那么多年。

。。”

琦芸 ：“不美么？”

P-San ：“你为什么要剪？”

M-Chan：“芸， 不要管他，应该剪的，不要因为别人的一句话。。。”

尽管如此，琦芸还是噘着嘴有一点失望。。。

回到家，夜里RS刚回国，看到了琦芸短发的照片，在电话里说。。。

RS ：“我还是比较喜欢你长头发。。。”

琦芸 ：“哦。。。”


虽然也一样觉得可惜。。。
也怀念自己的长头发。。。
但该剪的，就该剪掉。。。
要放下的，就得放。。。
再说头发都剪了。。。
反正很快又会留长。。。

只不过。。。
听到有人说出和自己心中一样的可惜。。。
难免也会有小小惆怅。。。

琦芸不会因为别人的一句话而轻易的改变自己的决定，
也不会因为别人觉得自己的决定是错的而后悔，
但总是希望自己的决定能够得到大家的祝福。。。

只是这样。

圣诞礼物

嘉：“琪阿，我可不可以买吃的做礼物？”

琪：“不可以！”

嘉：“为什么？”

琪：“ 圣诞礼物叻！”

嘉：“对啊，圣诞礼物。。。”

琪：“imagine你收到别人买吃的给你，你会不会很

失望？”

嘉：“不会阿，我宁愿是吃的，别的如果不合用不是浪费。”

琪：“吃的吃进肚子就拉出来，一点意义都没有。。。”

嘉：“是将啊。。。”

琪：“买别的啦。。”

嘉：“哦，我明天去逛街看可以买什么。。。真的不可以买吃的啊？”

琪：“不可以！”

原来大家送礼物多数都会以自己认为最想收到什么而去送别人。
最后不如买礼物，送一个给自己。
至于该买给别人的那份。。。
明天逛了街再说吧。。。

Long hair ; Short hair...

I realise the biggest difference between having super long hair and very short hair...
is not about the amount of shampoo I use
or the time it takes for the hair to dry up.

It is not even about the how managable it is,
as my new short hair gets tangled up as often as my old long hair.

It is also not about how long it takes to tie up my hair,
my long hair only took me a few seconds to bun up
and my short hair needs time for me to clip it all over my head...

The biggest difference is...
when I had very long hair,
I cannot feel anything when people touch it,
it is too far away from my head to feel it.
While the slightest touch on my short hair can be so significant
that I simply cannot ignore it.
And I like that feeling.

桃花几时开？

琦芸的老爸是高人，有些朋友已经领教过了。。。
某日，琦芸忍不住问老爸。。。

琦芸：“老爸，我今年到底有没有桃花？”

老爸：“今年。。。没有。”

琦芸：“真的没有？一点点都没有？“

老爸：”没有。“

琦芸：“明年呢？”

老爸：“明年。。。“ （一副认真思考的样子）

按老爸的风格。。。
天机是不可泄露的，
但根据常理，而非相书所言，
老爸是认为自己女儿一点都不积极。。。
所以狠批自己女儿没有桃花运。。。

女儿无奈，反正今年只剩十六天。。。
有没有桃花，日子一样要过，
如果注定嫁不出去，也应该不是一个人。。。
听说会有一群朋友陪她走到最后还会一起看日出。。。
但只是听说而已。。。

琦芸老妈的异想世界。

话说琦芸的老妈不喜欢按牌理出招，常常一语惊人。。。
有一天。。。

琦芸：“ 老妈，最近我常做梦。。。”

老妈：“做梦好啊。。。就是说你睡的很熟， 才会做梦。。。”

琦芸：“是吗？。。。老妈你哪里听来的歪理。。。睡的好

就不会做梦了。。。
是因为没有完全入眠，大脑还在活动，人才会做梦的。。。”

老妈：“你错了。。 。睡的好，才会做梦，没睡着怎么会做梦？”

琦芸：“。。。。。。”

琦芸见老妈说得理直气壮，不忍心辩驳。。。

开心就好。

琦芸与老爸

琦芸难得昨晚乘老妈不回家和老爸聊通宵，天南地北说到天

亮。。。
其中提到以下人生的道理一直在琦芸的脑海里回荡。。。

其一，对与人生的一些执着他说。。。
在他年轻的时候和一位老木匠学做木工，
老师傅用木工的哲学教会他做人的道理。。。

老师傅说：“一根木柴是直的，如果硬要弯就会断。。。，
用火来烧也只能弯一点点。。。
只有把木柴锯断。。
要怎么弯就怎么弯。。。”

老爸问琦芸明白吗？
琦芸想着不清楚是不是真的有完全明白。


其二，对与应付身边的人和事。。。

老爸简短的说 ：“ 打仗就是输赢一盘棋。。。”

琦芸知道自己有时太天真，经验不足常被骗。。。


其三，琦芸问到自己的运程如何。。。

老爸说：”天机不可泄露。。。”

琦芸了解， 泄露天机会折寿。。。

有其母必有其女。。。

老爸老妈在斗嘴。。。
老爸嫌老妈唠叨，老妈说是为了他好。
做女儿的琦芸决定说一个故事给他们听。。。

“有一天，我和琦城（琦芸的二哥）去逛街，他买了一个运

动袋。
我看到运动袋的肩带很短，觉得可能会背得很不舒服
就一直试图一边走一边帮他调整肩带的长度却没成功。。。

琦城不耐烦地说：“你可以不可以不要象老妈一样霸道，
用你以为对的方式来强迫我接受你的看法。。。
我是故意把肩带弄短，背起来才不会重。。。”

我恍然大悟。

虽然是有其母必有其女。。。
却千万不可以变的和老妈一样霸道才行。。。”

舒服与否是因人而异的。
对和错也是。
人往往以为要别人做自己觉得是对的事才是对的。。。
却忽略了别人也有自己的想法。。。
本来是好意却也可能会变得没有意义。。。
被人觉得烦人而已。

老爸老妈听完故事都笑了。。。
也不知道是因为觉得自己的儿女有趣
还是因为真的明白了其中的道理。。。

My lovely hair....

Good bye and take care...

老爸的妙语如珠。。。

大哥结婚快一年了， 不见大嫂有喜，出此下策。。。

阿东是大哥的小名。

老爸：”阿东， 我留胡子好不好？“

哥哥：“要留就留咯。。。”

老爸：“不可以叻。。。

哥哥：”为什么？“

老爸：”没人叫我阿公。。。"

哥哥：“。。。”

为了把阿妹嫁出去。。。

一家人准备喝喜酒，琦芸在想要穿什么。。。


老妈：“阿妹，今晚你要穿什么？”

琦芸：“全黑，配我新买的黑鞋。”

老妈：“不可以！喝喜酒不可以穿得乌漆抹黑。”

琦芸：“我知道，所以我会配红色的包包和耳环。。。”

老妈：“不可以！”

琦芸：“头发也用红绳。”

老妈：“不可以！”

琦芸：“现在大家喝喜酒都穿黑的，比较正式。”

老妈：“不可以！人家结婚不可以穿到黑黑。”

琦芸：“可是我有配红红嘛。”

老妈：“不可以！穿那件粉红上衣配白裤！“


这时琦芸的哥哥说话了。。。


哥哥：”老妈，穿白裤看起来很胖叻，给她穿那件黑衣啦，

看起来比较瘦。。。
要不然可能会错过什么好机会认识什么人，毁了她的姻缘，嫁不出去。。。“


老妈若有所悟。。。过了半响。。。


老妈：”阿妹，去穿你那件黑衣给我看看，还有你的包包和耳环， 我看可不可以。。。“


原来琦芸的老妈是可以为了把女儿嫁出去而放弃自己一辈子坚信的传统的。。。


琦芸对哥哥眨了眨眼。。。心照不宣。

不孝女

琦芸的爸爸妈妈从远方回来要一家三口睡一间房间。。。。
问题就来了。
只有一张床，两个人要睡地上， 谁睡哪里？

琦芸： “老妈。。。你睡床，老爸睡地上。。。我。。。睡大厅。

。”

老妈： “不用啦。。你老爸睡床啦。。你和我睡地上。。。“

琦芸：“老妈你睡床啦。。。给男人睡地上。。。”

老妈：“那你呢？。。女孩子不要睡大厅啦。。。”


这时琦芸的老爸说话了。。。


老爸：“啊妹。。。你就睡床吧， 我和你老妈睡地上。”

琦芸：“我睡床？。。人家会说我不孝的。。。”

老爸：“不要紧，关上门，就没人知道了。。。睡觉！”


没办法，为了让大家可以早点睡觉。。。
琦芸只好牺牲一点，勉为其难，沦为不孝女。。。
想着。。。

”我不入地域，谁入地域。。。“

想着想着。。。

在自己舒服的床上睡着。

I cut my hair!

Yes! I cut my hair.
I suddenly have a feeling if I can bear to cut my 10 years old hair,
There is nothing I can't do from now...

还想看月亮...

琦芸还是不死心...

在雨停了不久后，

傻傻地抱着相机

试图寻找躲在云层里害羞的月亮...

在组屋区里绕了半天...

云是散了...

可是月亮却始终没找到...

微笑的月亮今晚是看不到了...

却意外的发现...

对着她眨眼的星星倒有不少...

加上那雨后的微微凉风...

月亮没笑...

心却笑了...

看月亮

电话响。。。

琦芸： “喂...什么事？”

哥哥： “你在哪里？”

琦芸： “我在MRT..."

哥哥： “快点去看月亮！！“

琦芸： “看月亮？。。你在泰国叻。。看的月亮会一样咩？

哥哥： “一样！。。。地球只有一个月亮！”

琦芸： “我在MRT里面叻。。。underground 看不到啦。。。“

哥哥： “到站了一定要去看...今天的月亮是300 年一次会笑的月亮..."

琦芸： “哦。。。到站了我会去看的。。。拜拜。“

到了站。。。外头正好下着雨。。。

300年一次的。。。

什么也看不到。

：（

Insomia

Honestly.
I know the cause of my insomia.

I sleep too much in the day.
I have got no commitment to wake up in the morning.
AND I DUN HAVE internet access until late 3am...that I keep myself awake for it.
And wat else...

That's all.

I am tired with my own odd hours...
I think I need to do something about it.
I dun want to grow old becos of this.

GAMBATE!

Dreamz...

Yes. Nothing new.
I dream again.

This time..is was a little sweet.

I dream that I went out for a drink with THIS GUY I like...
And because he sits so close to me...
I rest my head on his arms...
And in my dream...i saw him smile.

And so...this little episode is happy for me.
In my dream of course.

Just a dream.

14 days...

To my new hair cut.
I am actually nervous by the tot of it.

My book.

I think I am soon able to publish a book on MY DREAMS...at this rate.
I wonder who will buy it.

Strange dreams

I can't help but to write about this dream I have despite the fact that I am eating onto the time i have for the afternoon.

There are a few parts to my dream.

First few part was at a classy old building where I sent my brother off to get marry...he and my sister in law got lost and almost cannot get marry...until the last minute...we run around the whole buidling to search for my sister in law...we found them wondering around the building and send them off to be wedded. The building is very beautiful.

Second part was a call from a job offer...
Telling me...
They will pay me 3 prices according to how many years I stay with them.
$2500 for 1 year
$2700 for 2 years
$3200 for 4 years...
I was still deciding in my dream.

Then on the third part of my dream...which is the fun part...
I was going to get off the MRT train on my way back after the wedding...
Then i saw some friends...and chat with them...
Which cause me to get off the train in a frenzy and forget my bags...
So i hitchhike a TRUCK to go home.
And climb onto the HUGE truck full of GRASS.
and sit on top of the grass...
which was fun!...
BUT...when the truck pass by a roll of tress...
Bird shit starts to drip like rain...
And i got hit by the shit on my head and hands..
EEEEiiK!

Finally after the ordeal...
I reached home with messy hair, torn skirts, and bird shit all over.

Neglected Blog.

I neglected my blog for a while.
As i found a new way to shout out to the world.
Facebook, my new window to my people.

For people to see me...for me to see people.
yet, the blog will always be needed...at times like this when I do not want people to read too much.

Lately, I have been having dreams...
Too much dreams...
I wonder why...
Apart from the fact that I did not sleep well...

I wonder if they meant anything else.

Also...I am looking forward to the new year.
I hope it will be a WHOLE NEW YEAR.
And i will PROCEED.

And do things I love and is HAPPY.
While I think about how I had used up my 2008...
I need to think about how I will use my 2009.

only a little more than 1 month...

Slightly pissed.

I am.
My room is messy.
That is my business.

I never complain when your room is too tidy.
You don't understand how the mess is important to me.
Even if it is an excuse...
And you think I am plain lazy.
I am.

I don't see the reason to explain anything to you.
That is my life.
LEAVE ME ALONE.

And DON't ask me to mop the floor.
It was never my agenda to do so.
I am not your maid.

So pissed off.

The final decision

Is to be honest.
There will be no regrets if I am honest to myself.

And so, I told them how i really feel and hope they can appreciate my honesty.

And so..i can only wait.

A matter of choice...

Now is a matter of choice.
To stay or leave.

Actually, I really would love to try teaching for at least a year or two...
But...4 years...
I need to think.

I need to access whether I can tahan being grounded for 4 years.

I need to think hard.

He is...he is not, he is...he is not...

One moment I really thought he has a girlfriend...
Another moment I am SO convinced he is GAY..

And so, I dun no afterall.

But I do know...
After a nice chat with him...

It is fun to have a friend like him.

Enough said.

Case closed.

A new conclusion...

He is NOT gay.
But he might have a gf.

Sigh...
I shall keep my distance.
My usual style.
And better stick to this
because I dun want to make a fool of myself.

Anyway...
I will be fine.

Simply no way...

Women, we are in constant challange to find the someone
we want to spend the rest of our lives with...
Now...we have a even tougher job to do
before we can tell if someone is suitable...

We need to check if he is gay.

So far...to my knowledge...
There is NO way you can tell if he is gay or not
by their looks or assumptions and stereotypes...

You just have to live until he reveals to you.

Or if you dare to ASK.

For me, I just want to enjoy the company...
GAY or NOT.

My parents...

If nothing goes wrong....

I will cut my hair in December.
And hopefully...I will also know if I get my new job...
I hope 2009 will be a GOOD start.

Strange dreams...again

yesterday...
I dreamt that i queue up to buy a book...
It was a long queue...towards a booth...
And some EVIL book seller is selling some Precious BOOKS...
which cost A LOT...
So when it was finally my turn...
I took out my 20 pounds reluctantly...
and she return me with 10 pounds of coins with some other pennies..
BUT KEPT my bags and belonging...
and say she will return me my bags after i finish reading the book...
I was unwilling...

Then she decided to go for lunch...
I sneak into the booth...and attempt to get my belongings back...
And saw all sorts of strange things in the booth...

I manage to get back my belongings and together with the precious book...
and escape from the booth...

Finally....reach the bus stop to take a bus home.

But realise no more bus...

So I walked.

And woke up.

Strange dreams...

I dreamt that I was at the ATM machine withdrawing money...
I key in ..."1" and money start to come out...
But not only 1 ten dollar came out...but followed by a lot of ten dollars...
And slowing...followed by EUROS and POUNDS...
I collected the notes in stacks...and tot I was going to be rich...
Then the bank staff came...

And took over the money...

:(

Happy Music Trio...

FOUND!

The 3 uncles I saw near Sauchiehall when I was studying in Glasgow 3 years ago...
Their music makes me happy...

I couldn't find a photo...

I remember 3 uncles playing very happy music along sauchiehall street a few years ago while I was in Glasgow....
I remember taking photos of them...but couldn't find it...
I wonder when I took it...

It's Singles Day!

Today...WE...yes we, celebrate Singles day...
You and me who are still single and available and FREE.

And Ironically, I celebrate today alone.

Hellolulu and mac Book Pro!

However...

I will go against all odds for things that i really want to do.
However, if I myself also think it will be a waste of time.
I probably won't hang on too long.

Like my art...
If I think it is time to stop.
Like my hair...
If i think it is time to cut.
Like my love...
If i think it is wrong.

My fate...

I never seem to have smooth path ever since I am back from UK.
This time...like always...I will still go against all Odds....even if nothing will come out of it.
I am just such a stubborn being.

In love with Sole Lover!

Sense of urgency.

I feel the urgency to do something.
But I am still not sure what.
Somehow...I hate to waste my time away...
I need to do something...something....

I need to do something.

It feels like I am solving some case here...

Like a detective...
Or playing with the puzzle...
putting them together piece by piece.

You know about a person...bit by bit.
Here and there.
Piece by piece...
And slowing...the more you know about him...
The more you hesitate about your own feeling...

Actually...I also dunno what kind of person will attract me.
There is no longer any typical.
It could just be anybody.

It is just a feeling.
Until you feel it...

Like the feeling...

Actually...I just like the feeling.
The feeling of liking someone.
It will be more than enough to indulge in the feeling.
Then anything.

Like fireworks...

It is scary.
when you can fell in love so suddenly...
And then...suddenly not the next day.

Like fireworks...fast and loud...
And gone.

What if this is like fireworks.
This time...i wonder what kind of crush i am having.

Facebook

I have never been so frequently checking my facebook like today.
Just because I am waiting for someone to accept me as a friend.

And while waiting...I realise i can upload photos easily on facebook.
And yes...my friends laughed at me...

"sua ku"...she said.

Yah...haha...
I am.

Updates.

According to my spy.

She dun think he is married.
NOT Attached (that she know of)
Not GAY ( she doubt so but actually got no idea also)

And dun think he is a christian.

Looks bright and clear...but BUT..


The possibility of him being a a GAY is TOO HIGH.

Not only my spy thinks he is cute...
Her boyfriend also think he is charming...


I am not against GAY...one of my best friends is.
Just that...it will be such a pity if he is.
He is so charming that even guys like him.
I will not be surprise.
And by the way...he took very nice artistic photos...

But nevertheless...
I still look forward to sing with him again someday.
He is a great KTV khaki.

Kukup. at the fish farm

Kukup, Ohhh jelly fish!

Kukup...Jenga, Jenga...

Kukup, light doodling...

Kukup, sunset...

Things come with a price...but such a sunset...IS FREE.

Kukup, by the sea...

Kukup, the neighbouring houses.

Kukup, just outside the chalet.

Kukup Jetty

Chemistry.

Everytime I meet a cute guy...

The first 3 questions that comes to my mind will be...
Is he married?
Is he attached?
Or is he gay?
That is...morally, if he is married, he is OUT.
And if he is attached....not so bad...but still he is OUT.
Gay?...I am OUT.

Then, after this guy pass the 3 pre-requisite questions...

There comes the "holy" question.
Is he a christian(or muslim...)?
If so, fullstop.
I worship nature, science and humanism...art, philosophy and LOVE.
Not God.
End of story.

However, if he still manage to pull through.

It will be the time when interesting things should happen.

Rationally, if you want to breakdown how a relationship can start,
maybe the above is one way.


BUT!

Things in life do not work according to your rational most of the time...

You can't go out and ask all the guys whether they are married, attached or gay.
They do not have the obligation to tell every woman they met whether or not they are available.
We probably will find it odd
if any guys were to tell us they are available for the first time we met.

And so, it will be impossible to know the 3 answers before we get to know each other.

Soon after you suddenly feel a little light headed...
You no longer have the courage to ask him straight.
Because u will live in denial that...
He could be married...(No!!!!)
Or attached....(WHY??!)
Gay....(Too bad.)
You will be dying to know...
YET dunno who to ask.

If things happen too quickly and u suddenly fell in love...
It will be a dilemma to find out that he could be a christian or muslim...
If u really love this someone.
That is the point where u had to make a decision.

Sounds like some lab testing...which is RUBBISH.

Actually...
there will be more that 4 questions to ask.

It has millions.

Is he kind?
Is he capable?
Is he independent?
Is he humorous?
Is he cute?
Is he caring?
Is he mature?
Is he dependable?

Can he stand my messiness?
Can he appreciate my weird collection?
Can he support my artistic ambition?
Can he change the lightbulb for me?(My strange fantasy)
Can he cycle?(Yet another secret fantasy)
Can he fix a computer?(practical reasons)

What can i do for him?

But above ALL...there should just be ONE question to start with.
Do you feel the electrifying sensation when your eyes meet.

That thing...
we call it chemistry.

Have you ever have such an experience?

That you thought this person is very near you because he has BIG FACE, eyes, noes, mouth....
Because according to perspective...
Things that are nearer to you appear to be larger...
and things far away become smaller.

However, he was actually quite a distant away from me...
yet you find him too near most of the time...strangely.

I wonder why.

3 Questions.

Married?
Attached?
Or Gay?

TOP KTV Song of the weekend for me...

Many apologies to the neighbours who stay around the kukup chalet that i had spent the weekend...
For singing this song with my newly found KTV khaki , on repeat mode at 3am in the middle of the night,with sound system at full blast.

Wild dreams...

Eversince I was a kid...
I never stop having stupid ambitions for my life...

Here are a list of stuffs I can remember.



1. Work in the post office.
Because I like to use rubber stamp to stamp on stamps.

2. Work as bus assistant.
To take care of the school children safety.
Because of the handsome bus driver.

3. Be a teacher.
Because I was grateful to a lot of great teachers.

4. Be a ballerina.
But realise I cannot grow any taller than 1.57m
and had to give up.

5. Be a lawyer.
I am quite a talker since young.
Still a talker now...but not a studious person.

6. Be a pyschologist.
I like to observe human behaviours.
And find out more about them...but realise you need to learn calculus...

7 Be a mathematician.
I love doing interesting maths questions.
I almost thought I am a genius.
Turn out that i am not.

8. Be an Er-hu performer..
Give up...because I found something I like better.

9. Be a painter...
Inspired by my secondary school art teacher.
later, I realise I can't paint that well either.

10. Be a writer.
Still writing..just that not many people is reading.

11. Be a sculptress
Still trying to be...but not easy.

12. Be an script writer.
Hmm...enough to have stories in my head..
And fantasize about it.

13. Be a professional diver.
When I have money..I will take my dive master course!
I love the sea.

14. Be a poet and philosopher...
Is one ALL THE TIME.
I AM GLAD.

15. Be a singer.
In my own bathroom. I am. Also in KTV.

16. Be a boss.
Open a studio or art space...or some cafe...when i got money.

17. Be a web designer.
Learning the rope now to earn a living..and quite enjoy it.

18. Be a video artist.
Done that...still want to do more.

19. Be a computer expert.
Haha...i am quite obsess with making myself tech savvy.
So that I can perform my task with ease.

20. Be someone's girlfriend.
Done that too...have a bit of fear to be one again.
But still yearns to be one sometimes.

21. Be a FULL TIME ARTIST WHO MAKES A LIVING doing things I love.
VERY HARD...but not impossible.

22. Be a wife.
Of someone I love who also loves me..
Very hard...probably as hard as being an artist.
And if I only have ONE lifetime to choose only one thing i can achieve...
It will be VERY VERY HARD FOR ME...
It might or might not be even HARDER than being an artist.
Unpredictable and clueless.

23. Be a mum.
Level of difficulties depends on unwed or wedded...and/ or if a father is needed.

24. BE HAPPY.
Ultimately...whatever I want to do...
is all because of wanting to be happy.

And so...
I always only want to be happy...
regardless of what I want to be...
As long as i am happy.

I have 2 external HHD.

2 of them adds up all my back ups of 200GB..with some spare spaces.

One of them is an NTFS...80GB

Slightly anti-social towards my mac...
Only can read...but cannot write.
But no fear!
I brilliantly ( and so I thought)...downloaded Macfuse and NTFS-3g...
To enable my mac to read and ALSO write on this drive...
Wala...I am SMART!

Another is a FAT32 drive...120GB

Which means it can be read and write on both mac and PC..
yet gives me the most problem...
Because it HANGS MY MAC!
DAMN!...my brother was laughing at me...
because I was telling him how great my mac was...
until it hangs...

and so..what to do...
I rang up Apple Care...
and spoke to a sexy british accented tech for help...
My disk seems to have a failure and needs repair...
which also involve reformating.
Meaning TO ERASE EVERyTHING.

I now had to transfer 90GB of stuff to my desktop...
which in the past an unimaginable task
with only 20GB HHD on my NEC...
Now only need 3 hours with my MBP.
Yet now...with my 200GB of HHD now on mac...
It is almost filled up just one month after I bought it...

i can only say...
I probably need to buy 500GB of back up soon.


Can you imagine computers only comes with 30GB of HHD like 5 years ago..
And that is consider ENOUGH.
200GB now..is like..HELLO MY HHD IS FULL.


CRAZY!
I will not be surprise that i might need 1TB of HHD soon.
1000GB = 1TB

We better get cosy with to this term now..TB = terabyte = 1000 Gigabyte
Just like having 1GB file was a HUGE thing a few years ago.

1TB is going to be a norm soon.
You mind my words.
I am dead serious.

Apple Cares...

Apple care is the customer service which you might want to buy for extra apple support.
While i already had a few experience with calling them up...during my free trial.
I actually enjoy calling them.
Somehow, they will try to solve my problem.
At the same time try to treat us like really LAYMAN.
Which is GOOD.

So far, I had conversation with an operator with INDIAN english accent...
And the other with rather strong Scottish or british accent...
Which I find amusing...

I wonder who I will speak to the next time.

Oh by the way..
To purchase Apple care...
Which only comes in 3 year service is not cheap...

$629


And so...
I shall call APPLE CARE every on and off to solve all my tech problem before my
90 days trials expire.

To able myself to be geeky enough to solve any problem and learn as much
so that i do not need tech support after 3 months.

I just have to do it!

Ouch!

I was eating my favourite char beehoon for breakfast...
And was so ready to bite into the luncheon meat...
And Ouch!...
I heard those cracking sound...
And the taste of metal...seep deep thru my nerves...
I have bite too hard and onto my fork which was crooked...

My front tooth was chipped.

Which is annoying each time my tongue licks it.
The more annoying...the more you felt like licking....
And it feels so bare until...
I feel like i am milimetres from my nerves...
The chipping of mt tooth has added my tooth sensitivity...

The funny part was...
the chpped off part was no where to be found...
Until I was chewing on my luncheon that i realise it was inside.
I eat up and chew my chipped off tooth together with the luncheon meat.
I knew it when i heard the cracking sound when i chew it...

Until now...
I can feel the razor sharp edge of the chipped corner of my tooth...
And the sensitive to nerve sensation it is causing...
On top of my already very sensitive teeth.

Some kind of experience for the day.

NOT CREATIVE!

Yes, I am NOT CREATIVE.
At all.

Because I am not...in terms of creating 2D image.

I realise that long ago.
I can't draw.
I can copy.
I can imitate.
I can observe and interpret.
But i can't draw or paint out of nothing...

I just cannot.


Luckily I am a 3D artist.
But then again...
What can I do in Singapore studying sculpture?

It is not difficult making art.

It is difficult to practice full time to make a living.
On top of the fact that I am not creative...

Plus..I am not a too ambitious person to be initiative.
Future has never been so bleak...

I NEED TO THINK.
I NEED TO WORK AROUND IT.

CREATE!

I need to create opportunity for myself to make art.
I need to create the environment.
I need to create the chance.

I need to make myself make art again.

Or else I will be a useless human being who reads, sleep and eat..and listen to music.

I love doing nothing...
But I also understand that doing nothing now...
will be disastrous for me in the near future...

I had to think ahead...

Life is precious...

And so...I remember...
Even at that moment of my life when I felt so painful...
I really almost believe pain can kill.

But never a moment...
I would want to end my own life.
Maybe I am too afraid to just die.
Maybe there are too much things that i want to do...

It is too easy to just die...
Because the dead is DEAD.
There will be no heaven or hell...
Only people who are still living...
are left to cry...

NeoOffice VS OpenOffice

I have been using NeoOffice since i bought my MBP.
Because Openoffice requires X11 to run on Mac.

But the new release of OpenOffice 3.0 allows it to run natively on Mac.
And Wala...I now have 2 OFFICES on my Mac FREE...
Keeping both as i am still observing which is better.


And so..after some using experience..

i would like to draw some tiny conclusions so far.

I had experience using openoffice when I was on PC...
I remember I had the same problem of having messed up alignments for my resume.
Only a Little.

And I had the same problem for my Openoffice now.

As for my NeoOFFICE...everythings looks clean and aligned.

Although OpenOffice boost more features than NeoOffice...but the fact that it is not totally smooth in translating my documents is one major setback.

I would rather use NeoOffice with enough basic features and comes clean opening MS documents.

And so NeoOffice WINS!

Technology reflects humanity.

The more I wonder into the realm of technology...
The more i feel that technology is not about gadgets and parts...

It is about human activities and abilities.
It is a larger social circle of human activities view from your computer LCD.
It is a giant reflection of what human beings are capable of doing.

For years, Microsoft and Apple's rivalry had pushed technology to strive...
And yet hinders improvements ironically with incompatible platforms...
But humans are humans...
Where there are rivers...you see a bridge.
We know that there must be a way to be at the other side of the river..
Swim over if you have to...
But people are smart enough to realise that to build a bridge will benefit everybody.

And so...this lesson was observed and learn through eversince I crossed the platform.
I swam over to Macland.
But since...I miss my buddies over at PC.
While the river of incompatibility...runs.
That is where I find ways to cross over to see my friends...
I shouted over to say hello...
I convert my WMA to MP3...
I Throw stones wrap with letters...
I downloaded Openoffice...
I even start to build a boat in the hope that i can roll over whenever I am free...
I download MacFuse WITH NTFS-3G to enable yourself to have read and write access to NTFS format of WINDOWS...from my Mac...

But my greatest wish...
If only we can build a proper bridge...

陳淑樺-滾滾紅塵

陳淑樺 <<夢醒時分>> MV

苏芮(蘇芮) 跟著感覺走 MV

Timeless!

Sleeping disorder...

Yesterday night...I sleep at around 2am..woke up at 8am.
Then...sleep at 9pm...and woke up at 4am...
which is now.

What a crazy world for me now.

Expose and Space

Is the new feature I tried to explore last week with my MBP.
And it is whole lot of fun when you get the hang of it.

Something to take note about Expose and spaces...
Most guidebooks and webpage say "use F8 and F9" to call out the function...
But in actual fact you need to add the FN button to F8 and F9 to achieve the effect as the recent models of MBP used F8 and F9 keys as "play" and "Forward" shortkey for your media players.
I only learn about this after reading through information online that discuss about short keys.
If not most guide websites will not mention this.

Can you imagine how the world will end?

First of all, to discuss about the end of the world does not mean I believe in God.

As RS casually commented that I finally believe in end of the world..implying believe in God. Which I am annoyed by the implication because natural science was not respected and so is FREE THINKING...at the same time human ability to speculate and think is unfairly ignored.

The end of the world is a hypothesis derive from observation of present situation of how human activities are causing damage to Earth...and some other freak accidents... that could be the ultimate cause to the end of the world.

1. Climate upheaval. Freak weathers that kills millions...
Eg. Earthquakes and Tsunamis, volcanoes eruption.

2. Environmental contamination.
Air pollutions, Food contamination, Pesticide poisoning...

3. Religious Killing.
ANY KIND OF RELIGION divides people.
Because when you are A...then someone else who is not will be NON-A.
This will cause discrimination, division and suppression.
People who are A will think they are the only truth...and forces Non-A to comply.
WAR.

4. Viral attack.
Human flu, avian flu, ebola...biological warfare....

5. Used up resources.
Not enough fuel, food.

6. Cosmic accident.
Some stones from galaxy hit earth.

7. NANO-tech achieve perfect nano-asemmblers and disassemmbler...
And could reduce earth to GRAY GOO state....in 72 hours.

I can't predict when it will occur...
But I have a mix feeling about whether if i want to see it happen in my life time...
Not as if i can decide...
Just something for a thought.

By the way...

Did you see the promotion for the old Mac book pro!
*@$^^&%%#$@%^%@!!?!
It is $170 cheaper now...

But what to do...
technology is just going to be cheaper and faster by days..
And we just have to buy one when we need one.

And so I can't wait...

Wait till 4 or 5 years later when i get my hands on a more powerful and cheaper baby...

In 4 years time...
2012...
Will be the time when Moore's theory speculated that
computer tech will reach it's limit at atomic level...
By then....
I wonder what interesting thing will happen to info technology.
Till then...

Will be the time for my next computer.
I look forward...
And BEYOND!

Let the world past me by...

Finally, my big brother has grown up
to become a person who knows how to apreciate simplicity in life...
As so...he might argue...he was like that in the past as well...
But he was much more ambitious like a headless fly in the past.
Now, he learns to enjoy simple life.

And me, I will always morn over my wasted 3 years in Singapore since 2005.
I have wasted my youth here thinking I will find a way here.
As time goes by,
It seems...either i find a job and be like all other singaporean...
Or leave.

I love singapore.
Unlike how my brother hates her...
I love her...my motherland.

But Singapore has fail to give me the environment I needed.
I will leave when I can.
As soon as I can...

Meanwhile, I will morn over my wasted days, months and years here...
I should have been more ambitious...
But I know myself...I never will be.

For that is me.
Maybe simple life is really what i need...
But freedom does comes with a price tag...
Like what my brother say...

And life...
You gain something...you lost some...
While i morn over the lost of my 3 years in singapore...
I can only say...
I have enough rest here for the past 3 years as well.
And enough means enough.

Time to move on.

Discontentment of a contender...

I always pride myself to be an easily contended person.
But on some occassion, I am not.

And here is a recent wish list I compiled for my discontentment.

1. ADOBE CREATIVE SITE 4 MASTER COLLECTION.
2. If not above, at least FINAL CUT STUDIO 2.
3. FULL 24 hours a day internet access.
4. A fully equip house with art studio and nice working kitchen.
5. A well paid part time job that allows time flexibility..UNTIL my art can support me.

1,2 and 3 is not too big a problem...but a notable amount of money is required...
4 and 5...is an even larger figure which is a matter of decade to fulfill...

If I give up and decides not to be an artist...

1,2,3 and 5 will be solved...
Left with 4...
And with a new discontentment.
Unhappiness.

By hook or by crook.
I need to do something.

Aloe Vera...

To me, this is a super plant that everybody should have one in their garden.

It is yummy and edible ( the common species),
Easy to Grow ( Dun require too much watering like the cactus),
Antiseptic ( which can apply to minor open wounds)
Soothing( if you have sunburns)
Beautifying ( Apply to your face like a mask, helps tighten pores and kills acne)

Ahh...and I had one now.

Happy.

Bakwa is the culprit.

The GIANT ACNE on my face is not only painful...
but also strategically poise in the middle of my cheek...
So much so that it is almost impossible not to notice.

And THAT IS NOT ALL...
I have like 4 or 5 acnes..
annoyingly gathering around my forehead as well.
And Painfully.

After some serious reflection over my diet and living habits...
I have concluded that BAKWA could be the culprit.
Because the last time I had such outbreak...
I somehow also remembering eating them as well.

Of course my crazy sleeping disorder most probably could be
one of the contributor to my plight.

As for now...
I just hope...
Sunshine after rain...
Smooth face after Acne.

What to do.

Unbearable...

Unbearable...

It seems like you are being locked up and not even allow to open the windows.
It seems like you are banned from calling your friends.
It seems like you can't make calls to them.
It seems like you will not know what is happening to the world outside.
It seems like the world past you by without you participating.
It seems like you will be forgotten anytime.
It seems like you are not allow to speak, express and comment.

It is just unbearable ...
So unbearable not to have access.

The lovely internet.

The comparison.

Here is a pic I found online to compare the new MBP and old...

If You are free this weekend...

If you happen to pass by Cityhall area...
You may like to drop by The Esplanade to check out my new works...

Special apology to LQ.

Opps Sorry...
I can't help but blog about my Mac.
Please bear with me until my Mac Hype is over..

Meanwhile...I will try to talk about other things
whenever I can.

Aimless Life...

I need a job soon.
Not that I do not enjoy my current carefree life...
But I do not like the idea of my depleting bank figures...
So low that it has hit an all time low...
And I actually have expenses to come in December
when my parents come back to SG in December for holidays.

I can starve and eat less...
And scrimp on myself...
But not my parents.
I have the responsibility...

Being so broke that i am not even willing to travel unneccessarily.
Or eat out.

I need a job soon.
Anyone has lobang?
PArt time jobs?

Mac Book Pro Overheating and wrong battery life indication-MYSTERY SOLVED!

Suddenly, I notice a dip in my MBP's battery life.
From fully charged of 5 hours to fully charged of 2.3 hours.
Which is SCARY!
And the all time noticeable overheating of my Mac recently.

I became a bit paranoid and read up over these issues.
Apparently, my MBP heat up for no reasons while others is because
they are using it intensively...

I install iSTAT which is a very cool feature
for my dashboard to check my MBP's overall health.
To my astonishment...
My MBP is hovering at 78 degree celsius
when i was only reading some article online...
WITHOUT ANY OTHER APPLICATION RUNNING.

I am pissed.
This MBP is only 1 month old.

I couldn't undertand why my MBP can heat up to 78 degree Celsius..
when it is not doing anything except for opening
ONE FIREFOX WINDOW to read articles for apple support.
My MBP reach 78 degrees in less than 10 minutes after switching ON.
And...the strange thing is...
system IDLE at 50%

I am not doing much...not even listen to itune..
But is already using 50% of the system???

I am determine to find out why.

After reading all the articles regarding battery defects and overheating..
I am convinced my MBP is not perfect.
I have decided to call APPLE first thing at 9am.

But but...before that...since i couldn't sleep in the middle of 5am.
I begin to play around with my iSTAT.....
The application that shows temperature and performance of my MBP.
I make some new configuration to display processes of application...
and...

HMM....something strange showed up.
My canon ip5200 showed up...and running at 98%???
Huh? since when is my printer printing?
It wasn't even plug in.
I open my printer in finder and found that I had a print error on RUNNING mode
on my MBP since a monday...an article which i din print becos of a print error.
It was left opened.
UNTIL NOW?!

which explains why my MBP runs 50% even when IDLE
and heats up to 78 degree C in less than 10 minutes...

I cancel the print job and close my printer application...
Immediately...
in less than a minute...
My MBP's temperature drops...
It used to hover round 77...and stays there
It is 72 after a few minutes...
And finally rest to a comfortable 54 degree celsius...

And another miracle happens.
My battery life...showing 2.44 hours when fully charged...
mentioned earlier on...
JUMPED! to 5.3 hours like it used to.
WALA!

2 problems solved!

Though I am still a bit puzzled that the printing error
was not cancelled after shutting down...
I am glad there is nothing wrong with my baby.

AND SO...
Mystery is SOLVED.
Weird battery Indication and heating issues are due to
Unattended printing error that is left opened.

False alarm.
But learn something YET AGAIN!

Old vs New MBP

The introduction of the new mac book pro did waver my love
for my newly bought but listed "OLD" mac book pro.
Because, if for the same amount of money can buy a better laptop...
WHY would I have bought a "OLD" version just 3 weeks ago.

Fortunately...
All the statistics and report of the new mac book pro...
Shows that I made a right choice.

First of all,
I do NOT like the new GLOSSY screen.
It is actually a glass screen.

Though I really like the unibody features...
But it did not make the new mac book pro any lighter...
in fact heavier though insignificantly..
as for size...

The New MBP is actually larger in base size,
and only 0.05 inch thinner...
0.05 inch is like..
PLEASE...you won't notice the diff unless you measure it.

Of course the new MBP has lot of upgrade in many ways...
And I love the new GREEN notebook concept..
PVC and Mercury Free...

However, for the same price...
I can only afford what i have now..
for the spec I need.

I can't ask for more.
I can only love what i have now.
And I do.

The NEW 15 inch Mac Book Pro is OUT!

In less than a month after I bought my MBP,
The NEW MBP is OUT!
As expected sleek and pretty.
From $3188 for the lowest spec of the 15 inch MBP.
Oh well, if this new MBP is not coming out..
I would not have got this old model for lower price plus a free iPOD touch.
I have to be contented or else for the same spec...
I need to pay $700 plus more...


But but...look at this pretty baby...
And all the new features....
I have to say...
"awwwwwhhhhhh"
i feel the slight "ouch" somewhere deep down my heart.
Could i have waited 3 more weeks for this new baby and spend $700 more?
Or actually if this is out early and beyond my budget,
I might have bought a window VISTA laptop instead.

Oh well,
There will always be something new for technology...
Someone has to buy the old ones regardless.
My next laptop will be 4 to 5 years later...
probably something newer by then.
I shall look forward!

Meanwhile,
My current MBP is still not bad!

One Question.

Will an old lady who believes in BUDDHA, prays to buddha and is a vegetarian...
who is kind her whole life and serve her husband faithfully,
brought up his son to be a fine young man...
not done anything bad her whole life...
and work hard to serve the community
....GOES TO HEAVEN AFTER SHE DIES?

If YES, why should anyone believe in christianity?
As there is no need for religion to promise HEAVEN.
You will be granted when you deserve to.

If NOT, WHY WOULD ANYONE believe in christianity?
That means, GOD iS UNFAIR and DISCRIMINATES.
Why would you believe in UNFAIRNESS AND DISCRIMINATION?

Atheist?

Please do not read this if you are someone who believes in GOD,
in case you might be offended.


Basically, an atheist does nothing until a theist proves his point solid.
As such, I am not an atheist, as some of my christian friend called me...
Because they haven't manage to prove their points SOLID enough for me to ANTI.

And also, as much as my christian friends wants me to go to heaven with them,
I, from the bottom of my heart also wish that they can see the real world as what it is.
It is only fair to acknowledge nature's effort to shape EARTH as what it is now after millions of years of evolution...and not someone who created it from nowhere.
I wish I can enlighten them as much as they wish to convert me.

To quote some interesting truth that I read somewhere,

"it takes more faith to believe in a self created universe then it does to believe in a created universe by a creator."

It is just too easy to say some divine power created the world....
as you don't have to prove it.
You just have to accept it.

But with our knowledge of MOTHER NATURE today...
IT WAS NEVER EASY and we are still seeking.


Really.
Think about it.
NATURE BLESS YOU.

And thank nature.

Humanism.

After reading "Against All Gods"...
I realise, humanism is quite a delicious term for me to digest.
With difference to naturalism...
which embraces natural and science,
Humanism embraces the power of humanity.

And so...
trying give myself a position as an indication of my stand point,

I am a ROMANTICALLY Humanistic Naturalist.

Hmm...yah.
Long Name.
Haha.
Watever,

Another book review...

Against all Gods.
Is a small thin book which you probably
can finish in one afternoon or less.
Lightweight and concise.
Easy to digest.

And after reading...
I would call myself a naturalist instead of an atheist from now on.
Someone who is define as what she believe in and not what she don't.
Naturalist believes in the power of nature and science.
And for my case...
A ROMANTIC NATURALIST...
Who believes in the power of nature and science...
and embraces LOVE AND ART.

God is NOT GREAT.

Recommended read of the week.
Receives several lost-count nods while i was reading it...
To the point of having the urge
to give a round of applause at some point while reading.
Found some reviews and counter-debates online from religious blog...
And was amuse to find that their counter points are POINTLESS.
Most good reviews are objective and clear.
Bad reviews are subjective and in denial.
Although this is NOT the best book I have ever read...
But definitely a very interesting one.
Bottom Line...
GO READ IT!

Today...I am productive AGAIN.

1. 10am I reach the printing shop to do my artwork.

2. 11am sent stuff off to print.

3. 12pm meet teachers at NAFA or lunch...

4. 2pm..meet Ivan on the way to collect my prints and had tea.

5. 4pm To Keppel bay Tower to collect my G9.

6. To Page One to read a Book Call "God is NOT Great"...GREAT BOOK.

7. 6pm meet Wendy for Dinner.

8. 7pm Buy My hellolulu laptop bag!

9. 9pm reach home and blog!

10. 9.30pm GO BATHE!

11. 10pm ..Zzzzz

HeLLoLuLu!

Yeah!
I finally bought a nice HeLLoLuLu laptop bag for my Mac babe.

http://www.hellolulu.com/product/laptopcase_product.html

check out the website!
It's the laptop nylon tote, watermelon colour.

YOOOOO!

I swam!

I finally went swimming!
And so I see the day for me to cut my hair coming soon.

However, just a note on my sudden schedule to go swimming.

I ended up with painful sunburn on my shoulders...
becos i swim between 11.30 to 1pm..
which is the worst time of the day to swim...

And also...because i haven't been swimming and did not warm up properly...
I end up straining my right knee-cap...

OUCH! (my shoulders and knee-cap)

Let's go swimming!

Today, weather is good.
And I no longer have any excuse not to go swimming.
And so...


OFF TO THE POOL!

I am free...

BUT I AM NOT MAKING ANY BIG ART.

I am so free...but I wasn't productive at all.
I have my reasons..
Art making is NOT CHEAP.

I do have a coming exhibition...
I am paid $N dollars as artist fee...
But the production fee might cost $N+$100...
Is it even worth it...as I know...this kind of work...
Is not sellable in the first place...
And will be taken down and throw into a bin after the show.
Why should I even propose and consider such kind of work.
I must be crazy.

And so...I have decided to use a cheaper option...
To settle for second best.
I will still love my work..
But it will be another piece of work without this set up.

As least I am showing something.
But not the thing I really wish to show though.

When it comes to pay rent and feed yourself...
Artist HAVE NO CHOICE.
Namely...POOR ARTIST ONLY.
Namely...artist AS POOR AS ME.

New parity error for Rubik's revenge.

Today, I encounter a new parity error known as "adjacent corner switch"
and the solution is below...

r ² U ² r ² U ² u ² r ² u ²

And the cube will be scramble at the top and
you will just have to solve as per normal now to solve.

And so this mark my second attempt of the 4x4.
With yet another new knowledge of how to solve it.
But lazy to memorize it.

Hence remain...
UNSOLVED.

Weird sleeping patterns..

My life is becoming crazy especially my sleeping patterns...

Instead of sleeping for 10hrs and keep awake for 14hrs per day

I can slept for almost 20hrs...and stay awake for 28hrs per 2 days...
for some days...

On and off...

Some days...I sleep at 9am...and wake up at 7pm...
Some days...I sleep at 2 am and wake up at 12pm...
Some days...I sleep at 3pm and woke up at 10pm...

It has been like that lately.

World is getting crazy for me...
Or I am getting crazy for this world...

I think I will grow old very fast like that.

I need to do something.

My life as a poor artist...

I was out for a meeting yesterday.
And after that...went shopping.
I bought...

1. Cleansing facial gel for $19.95
2. Toner for sensitive skin $17.95
3. Facial scrub $15.95
4. BRTC wrinkle and whitening BB CREAM! $49
(YES!YES!YES!it is OUT and available in WATSON!)


Total...to about $103

Then I went back to the old restaurant I worked for..
And chef cook me some nice soup.
Later I went out with my old colleagues for tea...
and only spend $1 on a bowl of green bean soup.


Feeling guilty that I am quite jobless and not having income this month...
and also for next month...

I decided to refund the $49 BRTC-BB cream,
Vanity is at the rock bottom of my list now.

And so...i refund the BB cream.

Halfway on my way home...
I saw Guardian pharmacy having promotion
on the same facial product that I bought
and is $7 CHEAPER in total.

And so I tried to refund again..
this time my facial gel and toner...
but I was only allow to exchange other goods and not money...
Because I was at another branch...
So I grab some daily necessity..
to cover $38 of refund goods...
At Watson...I was thankful they allow my refund..
But I end up buying 3 months supple of sanitary pad,
shampoo, dental floss...etc...
With a surprise discount on sanitary pad..

And rush back to buy the discounted facial gel and toner at Guardian which is $7 cheaper.


My life...I just have to live this way...
As long as i want to be an artist.

Yet another dream...

I forgot what the dream is all about...
I only remember that I cried and cried in the dream.
Or did I?
Hmm...


That's all.

Another dream...

I think I really did not sleep well lately..
because I had been having quite a few vivid dreams...

This one was about someone whom I used to carry a torch on.
It was quite a sweet dream though...
I dream that he walked me home.

But in real life...he is getting married soon.
Oh well, dream is dream.

Better than nothing.

Dreams...

A few day ago...
I dreamt that I cut my hair...
(Not again!)
Yah...not again...and the scary part was..
I dream that I not only cut my hair..
But start to have falling hair..
And I became bald.

SCARY!

Grandfather of Soul...

Grandfather of Soul
Uploaded by keytoon

Great Song of the Day! Enjoy!

Strange affinity...

I can't help but to find out about what is going to this man whom
I am fated to meet...
but not fated to be together...theoretically...

No one knows whether we are fated to be together or not
UNLESS YOU believe in God and then God will know.
Or Buddha..Then buddha will know...etc.

If not...HE and I will know, if we try.

However, we are not given the chance.

If so, then neither GOD nor Buddha decides...
but people who thinks we cannot be together.

Of course, this is not a proposal that we should meet and start dating.

This is a post to question why I am not given the same rights to try.

What I am trying to say is...

It is not believing in what that brings two person together...

BUT LOVE.

I swear I am neither in love with this man
nor has any special feelings for him now...
I am just annoyed by the fact that I am not treated equally...

With this...I end my speech.

What I have done today.

1. Stay up from last night till this morning at 10am.

2. Get ready and let home at 10.30am.

3. Go to library at Sembawang to return books.

4. Take train to SAM, get cheque from Mr Y at 11.45am.

5. Go to NAFA, meet Mr L for lunch at 12.30.

6. Take bus to Newtown for staff meeting at 2pm.

7. Take train to Harbour Front,Keppel Bay tower,
Canon service centre to service my Camera 3.30pm.

8. Shop at Page One at Vivo.

9. Take train to Bugis and shop more at 5pm.

10. Meet Yahui for dinner at 7pm.

This one is my brother's favourite!

Boys will remember this...

"Something strange...in the neighbourhood...."

Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers opening

Gummi Bears!

"can u write something else for ur blog???"

I finally got a complain from my avid fan.

"everytime MAc Mac mac.....which I dun understand at all..."

Ok ok...APOLOGY.
I will write something else...SOMETIMES...

ok?

距离。。。

偶然看到的一句话。。。
让我有许多感触。。。

“距离不可怕。。。
可怕的是。。。越来越远。。。”

真的是。

I am sad.

Friendship does not end...
But it will drifted away slowly if you take it for granted...

That is why i am sad.

MAc...your snoring lover...

One thing I cannot rectify about my MAC so far is the NOISE it makes.
Not that it is noisy when it is working...
As it is unusually quiet compare to my 5 years old NEC when it is working...
It is only noisy on one occasion.

When you insert a CD into the drive.

LISTEN TO SAMPLE SOUND HERE!

Just when I thought it might be faulty...
I google for advice and found these sample sounds when MAC is loading CD.

And conclude that my MAC BOOK PRO is completely normal.

Which means...there is nothing I can do about it.


YOU JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOUR NOISY MBP when it loads CD.

As if you just have to live with your snoring lover when he sleeps...

iPOD Touch Scratch TEST...

Caution: Not for the weak hearts...

MAC CULT

Honestly, I was not a fan of MAC in the past.
And I did not buy MAC because it was pretty.
I am a WINDOW person for 5 years...
I only had brief experience with MAC 3 years ago
in the ART school that I am studying in...
And had all sorts of crash while I am editing videos then.
I knew MAC was not perfect.
The main reason for choosing a Mac was because
I DO NOT WANT TO USE WINDOW VISTA.
I want to work with professional design applications.

I fell in love with MAC only after I use it.
Despite the many shortcoming I came across on and off.
Somehow...this kind of affection is unexplainable.


Which is why I can understand why there is actually a CULT for MAC.

I can't help it.
I just LOVE IT.

GRAB!

As I was searching high and low for my iSIGHT inside my MAC...
I came across this interesting feature in my MAC.
Yet another interesting feature.

GRAB!

This is an application for you to grab a screen shoot from your MAC and save it.
Like the screen shot shown below....it can be a selection or the whole screen or window.
WHICH IS SO COOL!
By the way...a tiny hiccup to take note...save the image as jpg before uploading.
Blogger cannot read TIFF.
So go GRAB! now.

iSIGHT.

Everyday...I discover something new about my MAC.

Today...I was wondering how i can use the built in camera of my MAC.
So I did some test.

By the way...the built in camera is call iSIGHT.

And so...you may use iSIGHT in various occassion.

1. PHOTO BOOTH.
A program in your MAC to take pictures...

OR

2. iMOVIE to take video...

AND OF COURSE

3. iCHAT As webcam...in your internet chat session.
which is NOT POSSIBLE FOR MSN.

4. To take a snapshot for your user profile when your log in your MAC.
At system preference --->Account---->Edit your display pic with snapshot.

And so yet another discovery that take up one day of my life.

MAc is NOT perfect.

I knew it all along.
But somehow as a convert, you will find ways to justify it...
To justify your convert.

And so...I was slightly PISSED by yet something about my MAC.

iDVD only allows you to set your DVD region setting to be changed 5 times...
And after the 5th time..it will be LOCKED.

Which means...if you travel everywhere and owns DVD of various region...
You will have problem viewing all your DVDs.
WHICH IS DUMB.
MAC with international reputation of being the machine for creative production...
actually has this kind of limitation.
TO LIMIT the viewing of DVD within region...
MEANS to limit creative inspiration.
AND most importantly...
iDVD will be rendered USELESS in my MAC from now on.

According to backdated discussion regarding this issue,
It seems that there is no way round to this problem.
However, THERE IS.

THANKS TO OPEN SOURCE!
Honestly, Open source are saviours!

If you are a MAC user..
Download VLC NOW!

http://www.videolan.org/

In order to bypass the region setting,
Remember to go to your system preference...
And change your default DVD player to VLC.

And you are done.

And so...for the time being...
my MAc is perfect again....
Until I find something else to complain about...

The 4x4 Rubik's Revenge!

I almost did it...
but gave up and cheat because of a parity error of an edge flip.
I am just plain lazy to memorize that VERY LONG algorithm...

r ² B ² U ² l U ² r ' U ² r U ² F ² r F ² l ' B ² r ²

25 moves leh!
I need the mood lah...

Perhaps tomolo.

Meanwhile...
I have manage to speed up my 3x3 cube recently
with some new algorithms i learn online...
and keep a record of an average of around 3 minutes.

I will post a video SOON!

Some tech gadget updates and gossip....

For someone who had technophobia in the past...
I think i strangely overcome my fear with great enthusiasm...
Just like having the phobia to swim when i was young...
I fell in love with diving...

Anyway...yes...some gadget updates.

MAC BOOK PRO!

Rumours says that the new MAC BOOK PRO is coming out..
And lots of MOCK-UP MBP photos(eg, shown above) done by anticipating MAC fans
are already circulating on the web eversince...
Some says that it will adhere closely to their Mac Book AIR concept...
Meaning...MORE POWERFUL...MORE LIGHTWEIGHT...
MORE SLEEK LOOKING....
While some call the new MacBook...Macbook NANO.
Of course...without doubt...MORE EXPENSIVE....
Some speculated that it will be a MAC BOOK Pro and iphone hybrid... with glossy look and slimmer body...and bah blah..
Whichever...I probably will not be able to afford it... And probably will be PISSED if my MAC BOOK PRO's price drop. Though I am aware of this rumour long ago...but I can't wait to buy a new laptop.
I probably will sit and wait until my MAc book pro retires in probably 3 to 4 years time...
My NEC only bearly scraped through its 5 years mark with obvious hiccups in its last.
I wish my MAC can work really hard for me until I finish my Master...

CANON G10!

The new CaNON G10 is OUT last month.
With higher resolution of 14megapixel this time...
Better Wide angle lens...28mm...
Higher shutter speed of 1/4000 sec...compare to G9's 1/2500 sec...
Higher LCD Pixel...
Better hand Grip..
Blah blah...

Strangely...it reduces it's optical zoom power from G9's 6 times...to G10's 5 times...
Which is a great disappointment...
Having only 6 times optical zoom was ALREADY my greatest woes...
And despite this shortcoming...Canon DOWNGRADED G10's optical zoom to 5 times.
The Lumix Fz-18 has 18 times optical zoom and cost cheaper.
Having high megapixel is useless since everyone is just going to print 4R...or simply put it online.
Who needs 14megapixel to post online...
It is just going to slow down uploading speed.
Furthermore.....they also reduce the option for better movie file quality.

Tsk Tsk...Canon don' know what they are losing.
Despite the fact that it is a successor of G9...
G10 will NOT BE on my wanted list.
Though I had to admit I am tempted by the wide angle and shutter speed...

Conclusion...

G9 is still THE BEST!


ADOBE Creative Suite 4 (CS4)

Yes yes yes!
It is OUT.
While I am still struggling to get a CS3.
And yes..the price of CS4 or CS3...is MORE EXPENSIVE than my MBP...
WTH...hearsay APPLE MIGHT BUY OVER ADOBE...
I wonder whether it will make it more expensive or cheaper..
Hard to say...
As long as i can do my video and make my website...
By the way...
Where are my pirate friends!?
Where is my CS3??
I want my CS3 MAster collection NOW!
If you have Cs4...even better.
My life as an artist is dependent on YOU, you and You out there.
Many thanks in advance.

Oh well...that's all folks.
I think I am almost there towards my dream artist life...
Still need a STUDIO and MONEY...to pay rent, buy materials and support my parents!
Hang on there while i make art!

I WILL SURVIVE!