Yet another monkey story...

And so...I was surfing the net for more monkey stories...
after RS and XN show me their interesting discoveries...

I found this.
It's called "The Hundredth Monkey Theory"

"The Japanese monkey, Macaca fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30 years. In 1952, on the Island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkeys liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but found the dirt unpleasant. An 18 month old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in the salty ocean water, improving the taste of the potato. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates learned this trick and taught their mothers too. This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by numerous monkeys in the troop and observed by the scientists.

Between 1952 and 1958, all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes and make them more palatable. Only the adults who imitated their children learned this cultural improvement. Other adult monkeys kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes. In autumn of 1958, something startling took place. A certain number of Koshima monkeys were already washing their sweet potatoes, the exact number is not known. The hypothetical number given was 99. Then it happened. The hundredth monkey learned to wash the sweet potatoes. The added energy of that hundredth monkey somehow created an ideological breakthrough. Almost everyone in the tribe was washing their potatoes before eating them, but a surprising occurrence was observed by these scientists. The habit of washing the sweet potato had jumped overseas. Colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop at Takaskiyama began washing their sweet potatoes.

Although the exact number may vary, this Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when only a limited number of individuals knows a 'new way', it remains the conscious property of those individuals. However, when one more individual manifests this new awareness, the field is strengthened, a critical mass is reached, and the awareness becomes the conscious property of all. This new awareness is communicated mind to mind.

http://pure-research.net/healing/light/monkey.html

And so...what have you learn from this experiment this time round?
Try observing the young ones...and learn something new for a start.

Another monkey story...

This story is from XN, she sent me a link via msn.

Well, humans like to observe their distant relatives to know themselves better.
And this time, it is about gender preference.

They found out that, male monkeys like to play boys toys.

"It's thought of as a sexual stereotype: boys tend to play with toy cars and diggers, while girls like dolls. But male monkeys, suggests research, are no different (see a related video report).

This could mean that males, whether human or monkey, have a biological predisposition to certain toys, says Kim Wallen, a psychologist at Yerkes National Primate Research Center in Atlanta, Georgia.

Wallen's team looked at 11 male and 23 female rhesus monkeys. In general the males preferred to play with wheeled toys, such as dumper trucks, over plush dolls, while female monkeys played with both kinds of toys.

This conclusion may upset those psychologists who insist that sex differences – for example the tendency of boys to favour toy soldiers and girls to prefer dolls – depend on social factors, not innate differences."

How interesting.

You may want follow the link below to read the actual article.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn13596-male-monkeys-prefer-boys-toys.html

Monkey story...

I was chatting over the phone with RS a few daya ago,
and she told me an interesting experiments with monkeys about culture influence...

This is roughly how it goes...

5 monkeys were locked in a room with a bunch of bananas in the centre of the room.
Whenever the moneys tries to touch the bananas, cold water will be splash at them.
And soon, they no longer tries to eat the bananas because they knew of the consequences.

Then, one fine day, one of the five monkeys was replace by a NEW monkey.
The new monkey, not knowing the about the water splashing punishment,
approaches the bananas.
While all the rest of the 4 monkeys uses all means to stop the new monkey from doing so...
To avoid the water splashing punishment.

Soon enough, the NEW monkey learn that he cannot touch the banana because something bad will happen to him. He learned this through his inmates, by hook or by crook.
Yet, bearing in mind, he was never been splashed by any cold water, since he was introduce.

Then, one fine day again, one of the 4 old monkeys was replaced by another NEW monkey.

The same thing happened again.
The new monkey will go for the bananas, while the rest stopped him.
Eventually, as we have guessed.
No monkey dares to pick the bananas.

And the same thing happened overtime, all the old monkeys were replaced one by one by new monkeys.

At the end of the experiment, the room is left with 5 ALL new monkeys in the room
which all of them had never experience any cold water being splashed at them before...
since they day they were introduced into the room.

YET, NONE OF THEM DARE TO GO NEAR THE BUNCH OF BANANAS.

The moral of the experiment...
never underestimate the power of cultural influences and teaching against instinct.
And it sets me thinking...

Someone says...

"QY...will you marry me?"

Am I suppose to be flattered?
He is a good friend of mine.
He is a gay.

He just wanted to get a HDB flat.

Of course, there are incentive to marry him.
Quite a few in fact.
But, there is no love.

Maybe he do love me, he claimed.
As a friend of course.

But, sorry my friend.
Thank you and sorry.

One day, if I am ever going to marry anyone.
I will love him...and I want him to love me.

Maybe it sounds naive.
But I really wish.

I saw someone who looked like him.

I was at the pasar malam today.
I haven't been to one for a long time.
Feeling hungry...I walked around to look for food.
And saw someone...who looked like him, selling kebabs.

It shocked me for a second...or two.

How is it possible?

Indeed...not possible.

He was not him.

Of course...silly of me.

He sells kebab.

He might be a Turkish or Greek.

No wonder the resemblance.

I queue up for the kebab...because of him.

The queue was unusually long...and he looked up at me...

"Sorry, 5 minutes , ok?"

I smile back.

But I walked away.

I just wanted to look at him.

His kebab looks really good.

But...I do not have the appetite to eat anymore.

I cannot imagine what happen if i ever see that man again.
Not the kebab man, but the man he looks like.

I am not even sure if i want to.

Today...

I saw someone who looked like him.

"But..my rabbit is white...."

I was teaching my primary 1 students to draw rabbit this week.

And one student in particular refuse to colour his rabbit.

I asked him why.

He replied.

"...my rabbit is white..."

I tried to convince him that this rabbit he draws is a magical one...

"This is a special rabbit in wonderland...and you can colour whatever colour you like."

"But...my rabbit is white"

...almost in tears....as he tries to explain to me why he can't colour his rabbit.


What can I say.

In the end, I made him colour all the rest of the things in his drawings...the grass...the clouds...the sun, the flowers...and leave his rabbit PURE WHITE...

As he happily did.

At Home Yet Not At Home

RS called up from France and said

"QY!...are you 'LOOKING TO MEET SOMEONE???!"

"What?!?? what do you mean?"

"You said that in your blog!"

"MY bLOG?? I changed my blog address recently. I think i informed you with my new address, right?"

"yah...but www.athomeyetnotathome.blogspot.com is working and someone posted something about "looking to meet someone!, I thought it's you!"

"really??!?..wait I check."

And here it is.

www.athomeyetnotathome.blogspot.com

Why not check it out yourself.

Though I also hope to meet someone...ALL THE TIME...

I SWEAR....

THAT IS NOT ME.

Headache

I am having a gigantic headache RIGHT NOW!
And it's KILLING ME!

Btw, did I also mention that I have been feeling nauseating since yesterday...

PUKE!

My new job...

Hmm...

I like my new job so far.
Really like it.

Of course the pay plays an important role...
But the most satisfying part is my client.

The children.
They can be devils and angel at the same time.

Drawings are wonderful.

Though the commuting to work part is never attractive in any kind of job...
But...I think I have improve tremendously in my punctuality and enjoy the journey.

Because I look forward to see the kids.

I notice I have loosen up quite a bit too...
Bought a new bag for work..
And a new blouse...just to look decent like a proper educator.

Feels good too...to be packed with work..and art.

Yah...that's all for now.

I have a dream...

A few days ago...
I dreamt that I drop 3 of right my molar teeth...
It was not painful...of course..because it is a dream.
But...it is kind of...sad.
Because a part of me...fell off and left me.

Oh..did I mention.
I have a wisdom tooth on lower left side of my mouth.
Half hidden under the gum.
No pain experience yet.
But my dentist said, judging from how the food accumulates
whenever i eat something ...
it will start to rot sooner or later.
Hence, in order to keep my wisdom tooth wise and healthy...
I consciously brush dilligently especially carefully on half of my
prevailing wisdom tooth to delay the process of decay.

I think I have done a good job so far.
I hope this can last me until my next visit to my Thai dentist in Chiangmai NEXT YEAR!

Wish me pain free!

Wish you happy too!

CHEER!

New Look!

Yeah!
I have decided to give my blog a new look!

And so...instead of the dark face blog...
I give it a fresh white.

Surprise?

Like the new look?

Tell me about it!
(If anyone is reading, of course.)

Weeee.....!

The Challange...

Suddenly, I am packing my schedule like mad.
I am sensing the challenge i put myself in after my Guanyin temple prophecy.
I thought, if this path that I have chosen is fated to be full of hardship,
I should make the most out of it.
If I am going to be flying around like a busy bee...
I want my hive to be full of honey.

I know it is not going to be easy.
But that is the reason why I have chosen it.

The challenge of it.


Thank you Guanyin-ma.

Nothing to blog about.

Or not.

I started a new job.
The job scope itself is nothing new.
But the person paying me is different.
The curriculum is different.
And my targeted clients are different.

I teach primary school now.
Have to be super punctual.
That will be my new work stress.
So far so good.
That's all.

I have a feeling...my blog is getting boring...
My life is getting boring...
I am becoming boring.

Boring...

The Guanyin Temple at Bugis...

I am a little sadden by my own destiny.

Looks like I am destinated to live a worried art life.
As my lots says...
My art life...is like the life of a bee...
When the weather is good, there is honey.
When weather is bad...no honey.
As in...it will be uncontrollably passive to the environment.

And indeed...for years it has been like that.

If my life...is fated to love art like bee love honey.
So be it.

As long as I am happy.

But am I happy.

At the moment, I really dun know.
I am sure i am out of my depression.
But I have a feeling I am nowhere near bliss.

Do something please.
Me.
Please.

Yahui said...

Maybe you will start to do your work when you cut your hair.

Indeed.

I think so too...long ago.

I AM BACK!

First thing when I reach home,
other than taking off my shoes and dropping my bags on the floor...
I digged out my laptop and connected the cables....

Log myself on.

My long-drained cyber-energy needs charging.

I have missed nothing of course.
Just that I can never get enough of the trash available in the cyberworld.
Those endless free dramas and movies.

Those endless information.

All I can say is...I know I missed nothing yet...I miss everything about it.

YO!

Yo!
How is life?
Mine?
Boring.
Rotting.

Anyway...
Life should be back on track when this holiday is over.
My Long vacation will be over soon.

Such a long vacation...
2 years...

Too Long.

Treasure and trash...

It is so much fun to go through my family's boxes of trash.
The reason why it is fun...is because they are not boxed up in order.
They are a random mess of trash..my mum scoped from my room and my brother's and my father's.
And end up...each and every box is a ramdom of trash and treasure to be discovered.

One box...I found my long lost Nat King Cole CD in MINT condition.
Very very happy.
I almost wanted to buy a new one in singapore.

Found my uncle's old vinyl records...and guess wat.
I found STYLISTICS!!!!
What a weird infinity I had with Stylistics.

And then...I found some long lost books.
They are everywhere,,anywhere...
and full of surprise.

It runs in the family.
Especially my father, my big brother and me who are the "keeper"
My mum and second brother are "thrower" to keep the balance.

I saw my father reading a filmsy looking book a few day ago...
And he said he bought that when he was 16, he recorded it in his book when he bought it.
Interesting.

But I pissed at the same time.
Becos, some items are in very bad conditions...
Old metal stuff are badly rusty.
Paper stuff..and books turn yellow....or eaten away by bugs..
Cloth and old clothings...turn spotty...and dirty...
Sad...

And I will keep sneezing...if i dun put on my face mask.

Wrap myself up like I am in some virus infected zone..
to clear up the boxes...go thru them one by one..and see what is inside..
It's a pity i really do not have the energy to categorise them properly...too random..
Too MISCELLANEOUS.
The most i can do..is to put them together properly.
And pull out things that I wanted individually...

Anyway...I have yet to come across my own stuff..as I had only been going through my father's and my brother's stuff.

Wait till I attack the boxes in my room
That will be REAL TREASURE HUNTING!

Look forward!

A review of my resolution for 2007.

New Year Resolution 2007

1. Make ART.

2. Make a website.

3. At least run two shows this year.

4. Participate in residencies and projects.

5. Save more money.

6. Start YOGA-ing.

7. Target to drop 5kg.

8. Publish my book.


Apparently...I did not do much in 2007.
Because?...look at my 2008 resolution below!
I did participate in projects but my works are not selected.
And I did nothing for my book and website.
No shows running...
I gained 5 kg instead of losing it...
Money wise...same.

Things I want to do in 2008.

1. Publish books.
2. Start a website.
3. Do some good shows
(solo or group-impt thing is so something I am proud of showing).
4. Apply for my scholarship and if I dun get it..
leave singapore and go working holiday.
5.If I get the scholarship, prepare myself to study in japan in 2009.
6.If I dun, go work holiday for a year...and study in europe for my MFA.
7.CUT MY HAIR.

Things I want to buy...always...

1.A good new laptop with all the functions I need.
2.A good camera.
3.A good sewing machine.

Personal improvements...

1. Healthy weight loss of around 5 to 10 kg.
2. Learn Yoga.
3. Read read read...more books.
4. Watch some good shows.
5.Cultivate good sleeping and eating habits.
6. Stop wasting time.

Mental improvements...

1. I hope I am able to throw away some things which I couldn't bear to throw away.
Some junks around me for years...which I should let go off...and make myself more mobile.
2. As usual, I believe I have talked less over the years. Talk less...but express more in other forms. Talk less...and do more.

What can I say...
I will be happy if i at least fulfill 50% of what I want to do.
There is one thing for sure though...something to be happy about...
What I want is still what I want.

And those are really what I want to do.
I DID NOT FICKLED AND HESITATE THIS TIME...
I KNOW WHAT I WANT!

It is a great feeling!

Never love anyone again...

2 years ago...when I was so hurt and heart broken...
I was so sure I can never love anyone again.
So sure..so sure.
Now..
No one for me to love...
Yet...I am so sure that I am capable of loving like I used to be.

so sure...so sure..
Nothing is sure under the pressure of time.
Good things and bad.

I was consoling a friend who was heartbroken...
And he reminded me of myself 2 years ago.
I ask him if he actually felt that he will never love again...
He did.

What I can say is...
You will be ok.

Time will heal.
Really...really really...
YOu will love again when u are ready.
After some many many days later...
You will be ok.

BE STRONG!

Treasure or Trash?

Every now and then, I will open my 3 boxes of treasure and check out my old stuffs.
Those 3 boxes...are boxes of stuff I sea-mail back to Singapore from Glasgow.
They are the only physical remains of my memories in Glasgow other then my photos.

I always dig out my stuff in full excitements.
Because I have long forgotten what I have sent home.
I suspect...if someone throw all of these 3 boxes away...I probably wouldn't notice any lost.
All i would register...is 3 boxes of memories..which I couldn't remember what was inside now...is GONE..
Yet, whenever I opened them...I will be amuse by all my little treasures..yet at the same time be disgusted with stuff I dun understand why I did not throw away back then..
It is always a mix feeling...
And I thought since I did not throw away then..
I simply put them back...and refuse to throw it away now..

This is what I am dealing with.
Myself.
My stubborn self.

I do not understand what I am clinging to.
Those old brochure...old paper scraps...
Old moldy clothes...
MOLDY!...

I am so determine to force myself to throw them away.
If not all...I know I cant...
At least as many.

Until I am load off of my own trash and move on.
I know I cannot fly with my luggage excess...

Yet..I want these trash to be part of my art..
I am trying...

And how?
Documentations..
Filings..

I am trying.
I really am.

Technologically poetic & poetically technological.

I went to see the digital art show in science centre finally on the last day of the exhibition.
It was a delightful experience.
And i was glad that I made an effort to go.
I am that lazy.
But I wanted to see the show in Austria when I was in Glasgow.
It went on a tour in Taiwan...and I miss that too.
Finally when it reach singapore...I manage to catch it.

I wanted to say...
The marriage of art and technology...is simply...
Beautiful.

Poetically technological....
and technologically poetic.

Some simple idea...express whimsically.

And work of art is heighten....with technology.
Work of technology heighten with art...

I like it.

To do list before 13th Jan

1. Plan 2008 schedule.
2. Print out all the potential opportunities
3. Print Shiraishi photos
4. Clear up my room.
5. Buy a camera.
6. Buy my new year outfit.
7. Chase up Drift project progress.
8. Draw out my Chiangmai plan.
9. Finish reading "The sushi economy" and "The Accidental Art..."
10. File up and do accounting.

Suddenly...

I have a thought...
Maybe...
He did love me at that moment of his life.

This year 2008...

This is a year I think I am ready.
After I have used up 2 years to get myself ready.

I realise I have been expaining myself why I haven't really
been doing my art for these 2 years...
I am the only person who understand why.

Was watching a show...the lady ask the guy..
"Are you alright from your broken heart?"
The guy replied..
"As long as you dun touch the wounds..
I guess it will not hurt that much"

Indeed.
I have been avoiding touching my own wounds..
So that it will heal slowly..
Until I forgot about it's existence.

Time will heal...

Time has heal me.

2008.

I am me again.

Ready and me.

HAppY New YeaR!

hELLo 2008!

While everyone is rushing to see the fireworks...
I just want to go home.

This is how I welcome 2008.

I am actually quite a boring person.

I just want to spend this time alone.

But then...I am full of hope...for this BRAND NEW YEAR.

I am excited.

Mentally.

Though I never have the habit to celebrate.

Good bye 2007...

I know I am never good at keeping my words...
When it comes to LAST POSTING...
I cannot help it...

Too much to say for the last day of the year...

I log out...and log in again...

I just wanted to say...

It has been a good year, I will miss you.

GOOD BYE 2007...

How I.

One last video from me to you.
For the last day of the year.

How I thank you.

Hit 200!

I have finally exceed 200 posting for 2007.
I am aware of the number..a few blogs ago..
and though I should hit 200.

For the fun of it.

Enjoy!

KIWI

Something to think about for the new year...
A wish to die for...

KNIT...

I think I can do that with my hair too....

To Roger, with love...

My desktop wallpaper REVEALED!...It's Roger Federer! Surprise!

The reason why I am so in love with Chul Soo...

SHIT HAPPENS!

I watched this short film...when I was in UK...
In the middle of the night when I reach home after work one day.
It was so hilarious...
I almost fall off my bed....

And the english title of this short film in UK was SHIT HAPPENS!

Enjoy!

So sweet...

Everything is going to start anew...

In less than 24 hours....

The last day of the year...
Is always the day that makes me think a lot.

Not as if I dun think for the rest of the 364 days...
But at least for today...
I think a lot more...

To prepare myself for the new year ahead.
ALso to access my past year.

Whether I have improve?
Deteoriate...
Or found something...
Lost something..

Think about everything.

I always like to stay at home...for the last day of the year..
If I have a choice..
I will stay at home.

Yet...
I had assignments to complete this afternoon.
My last art lesson for Soobin.

As well as...
A favour for Lisa...my manager to work in the restaurant
becos someone else is having holidays..
I hate to work as I have mention especially on this day.
Becos...
It is a day I consolidate and think.

Therefore...I am reluctant to sleep now.
I need to think NOW...
Tomorrow will be too late.

I sold myself for about $80 for the last day of the year.

I hope I can reach home before 12am tomolo.
And stay at home to think.

Wish everybody a happy new year.
A VERY HAPPY ONE.

Writing mood...

I rather like my own recent writing mood...
Especially after my blood donating ordeal...

I have been wondering why I donated my blood.
Maybe I want to let go of part of myself.
Perhaps some stubborness in me...in my blood.
想放下心中的执着...

I hope this writing mood will be there for a long long while until I need another rest.

I have been reading into the statistic detail regarding the amount of writings since 2004.

The moment which I am the happiest had more than 100 posting in a month.
In May 2005.

The saddest only had 1 in the whole month.
In December 2005.

One particular month with 1 posting...
I complained about not having the internet access to blog.
Which means...it's a technical barrier to express.
NO internet access.

Another particular month with 2 postings.
One is about the brief for the month.
The other is YET another complain that I haven't been
blogging becos I sold my life for cash.
Too busy working that is.

Those with 3 or 4 postings..are my low and sad days...

Those with flooding postings...
Are my good moods.

Though I agree that sadness makes good poems, good songs,
and good stories...
even good art...
Yet my productivity is dependent on how happy I am.
I realise.
The happiest days...are my most expressive days.

Which means...judging from my posting...
This month...is my happiest month...
Since since 2005 MAY.

This month.
The month that I read a lot, watch dramas...and stop selling myself for cash.
Is my happiest.

2 years...should be enough.
It is enough in fact.
To be myself again.
The me...I used to love.

2008.
I am me again.

HERE I COME!

2008 Resolution...

I have been thinking this.

I accidentally saw what I wrote a year ago...
And access what I have achieve...

I set a, 2 and a half year plan...
I am almost halfway.

I achieve the easy half...
The difficult half is yet to be done.

So much for all the rest and play.

Time to make art.
Things I want to do in 2008.

1. Publish books.
2. Start a website.
3. Do some good shows
(solo or group-impt thing is so something I am proud of showing).
4. Apply for my scholarship and if I dun get it..
leave singapore and go working holiday.
5.If I get the scholarship, prepare myself to study in japan in 2009.
6.If I dun, go work holiday for a year...and study in europe for my MFA.
7.CUT MY HAIR.

Things I want to buy...always...

1.A good new laptop with all the functions I need.
2.A good camera.
3.A good sewing machine.

Personal improvements...

1. Healthy weight loss of around 5 to 10 kg.
2. Learn Yoga.
3. Read read read...more books.
4. Watch some good shows.
5.Cultivate good sleeping and eating habits.
6. Stop wasting time.

Mental improvements...

1. I hope I am able to throw away some things which I couldn't bear to throw away.
Some junks around me for years...which I should let go off...and make myself more mobile.
2. As usual, I believe I have talked less over the years. Talk less...but express more in other forms. Talk less...and do more.

黄真伊

Yet another brilliant Korean Drama.
After so many other great works.
The theme opening is already impressive before I watch the show.
Wait till you watch the actual drama.

Be nice to me, it is my first....

DONATION!

A bloody one.

I went to the Blood Bank with Wendy because she wanted to donate blood.
And I tagged along.
And thought...
maybe I should donate blood too.

Registered...and was given a large red and white sticker to be paste on my T-shirt which says..

"Be nice to me, it is my first donation"

I felt like a kid, happily receiving a big sticker to praise me for my act.
During the examination,I was tagged under "Malaria Risk" by the examiner
becos I travelled in malaria risk countries within 12 months.
But I was accept as a blood donor nevertheless.

First...

a nurse prick a tiny-mini hole with a stapler-like thingy
and collected a bit of my blood and drop it into a blue solution.
I was told later by wendy this is to check the blood's density against...
I guess the blue solution is copper sulphate.

It sinks...a bit and hangs in the middle...

I passed as long as it dun floats...but not with flying colours...
I concluded...becos it should have sink to the bottom like other drops of blood.

I enter the room with many comfy looking arm chairs...
and a few nurse start to crowd around me...
They are smiley and nice to me...like what the sticker on my T-shirts tells them.
I ask a lot of silly questions...
and finally lay comfortablely on the chair.
Ready to do my act.

I was rejected by the blood donation team 10 years ago...
becos the nurse can't find my blood vein.

10 years later which is now,
it was not an easy job either.
They tried my right hand, then my left...
and decided poke on my right hand eventually.

A tiny injection...
For localised anesthesia...
Skillfully done.
Followed by...I don't know what...
But a tiny pin prick sensation as I was told to look away
and talk to my friend instead...
Which I suspect it must be more than a pin prick..
That I decided to steal a glance...

I regret it...
It was a painful SIGHT.
Not that I can feel anything...
Becos of the anesthetic...
But I know it should be painful by the size of it,
Just that I cannot feel it.

Then the nurse prompts me to squeese the little cushy sponge
to give pressure so that my hand and pump blood into the donation bag...

I skive a bit and was caught...but manage to pull through.

Finally...It was over...
and wendy told me I can choose colour for my hand bandage...
But it was too late when the nurse choose
blue for me to match my t-shirt.
Not bad actually.

The nice lady told me
I can carry my own blood for a while
before it is being sent off for process...

It was a weird feeling..
My own blood...
Separated from my bloody...
In a Bag...
and I was carrying it...

Like a baby.
My baby.
It used to be part of me.

Strangely.

Then we happily left the centre and
go for our free refreshment in the canteen...

Soya milk and Soon guey for me.

Then...wendy and I head for the food market across the bloodbank
for pork porridge as planned.

Walked down the slops of the bloodbank
cross the road...less than 10 minutes of walk...
I suddenly feel weak in the knees..
Really weak...
Followed by a nauseating sensation...
I told wendy i feel like puking.
She thought I was joking.

Then a few more steps later...
I started to sqaut on the walkway...
I need to puke.
I knew it.
I AM NOT JOKING.

Passersby stop and offered me medicated oil.
WHICH I NEEDed.
I am thankful to the old lady who offer me her medicated oil.

Then...
I VOMITTED.

It was the soya milk and soon guey.
It was NOT hard to recognise them.
They are in still in good shape...
As they are not eaten very long ago.

I told wendy that I feel bad that I had left my puke by the pillar...
The soya and soon guey must be feeling lonely and unwanted.

Anyway...we head for the food market...stayed for 15 minutes..
Wendy ate her breakfast while i still feel unwell.
I called the blood bank and told them I vomitted.
I was told to go back.

Wendy and I head back to the bloodbank..
SLOWLY.
We stop on and off...between this 10 minutes or less distance.
I just cannot walk too fast...becos the nauseating sensation is still there..
But nothing left to be throw up..

Wendy start to feel giddy herself too..and break into sweats...
It was her turn now..
we reach the door step of the blood bank...
And we stopped..
A few more step...
but I was feeling too sick to continue..
I lay down on the floor of the door step of the bloodbank...
Hoping that doctors and nurses will run out to save me...

No one came out.

Wendy was not feeling well too...
She looks pale by now..

I decided...
I need to go in...just a few more step...
I walked up the step and told the lady in the lobby my situation...
And Wendy walked in slowly.

Both of us...are being wheeled into the rest area...
given pressure test, blanket and water...

Nurses told us...we should eat before the donation.

My pressure was 90/60 i was told.

A bit low.

Then we rested.

The pink shirt guy across who was donating blood looks familiar..
But it was not important anymore..I was too weak to smile.

Then...after...a lost track of time..
We had to leave...
Becos we are occupying blood donation beds...
And we felt better anyway...
Nurses warn us not to go shopping before we left.

We left the bloodbank..

AND GO SHOPPING!

I need to buy my organiser for 2008.
I drag myself with wendy to kinokuniya.
Got myself a new organiser.
Which I was happy of my own choose.

And actually wanted to continue to shop becos
there are crazy year end sales not to be missed.
YEt...I was too weak...
I tried...
But wendy told me...
I looked pale.

I gave up.
And went home.

Along the way home..
it was still an ordeal.
I had to walk and stop...many times.

Feeling nausaeting...
until i reach home

Bath...
Saw myself in the mirror...
And like my whitening look.


I excitedly called wendy and told her
"原来捐血可以美白...!"
(Donating blood atcually had whitening effect...!)

She replied in a matter of fact tone...
"不是美白...是苍白..."
(Not whitening...is PALE looking)

Oh..hmmm...

SHE IS RIGHT.

I called my brother and and friend and told them my ordeal..
Before I tugged myself to bed.

Woke up...
Confessed to my nanny that i went blood donation
and was scolded by her...
Finish my dinner...
And decided to blog...

Feeling the tiny pin prick pain on the finger from the first test...
While I type on my keyboard...

"Be nice to me, it is my first ..."

Maybe...

It is also my last.

No internet!!!!!!.....会死人的! 会死人的!

会死人的...没错.

Without internet....I will DIE!

I was informed by my mum that my 45 days in Chiangmai is going to be networkLESS.
No telephone. No internet access.

I start to behave like a grochy kid...and start to sulk.
I called my mum to grumble about it...and called my brother to scold him for cancelling the intent...then I called my second brother in Batam...to complain to him...called my best friend...and told her I will die.

So much for all the sulking...but I was still PISSED that I actually made plans to stay in thailand longer becos I thought i could have enjoy my holidays...hiding at home...while seeing the whole world at my finger tips...

The only survival source for me..I was told...is TV.
That should be good enough usually...but not anymore.
I tried to imagine.

It was worse than nightmare.

10 years ago...I would have laugh at my own post.
Now...I have to laugh at my own addiction.

Without internet...
It means...
I CANNOT...

watch youtube,
watch movie online,
check bank account and make transactions.
surf net,
read books,
check out resources,
catch up with friends,
read news,
submit proposal,
online shopping,
do research,
look out for inspiration,
correspond to my work,
make plans,
organise my show,
cry watching dramas on tudou...
watch documentaries for free...
search for materials for web design...
send emails..
check emails...
get to know latest discount..
update my facebook...

IN 45 days...I am trying to figure out now..
How am I going to fill up this empty slots...while not doing ALL THE ABOVE.

In fact, I do have a lot of other things to do...

Yet it scares me...to know that...
I AM UNABLE TO DO ALL THAT in the next 45 days from 13th jan onwards.

It scares me.

I only hope...
It is a blessing in disguise.
I know I am capable of surviving.
But it is going to be a torture.

I have so many other things to do...
yet...without internet...
It's like losing touch to the whole world.

How do I live without you.....

Oh...How do I...

Oh...How do I live....

SOMEBODY!...HELP ME!

CRASH!

My laptop hit blue screen again just a while ago.

I noticed the hefty pant coming from my laptop...
That kind of "work too hard for it's age" motor spinning sound.

Time is up soon...

You have to go...you have to go...

Time to back up.

This thing call friendship..once more.

So much for my emotional thoughts about friendship.
I was just being grouchy and grumpy.

Friends are still friends after all.

That is our kind of friendship.

Facebook Again...

I have been very resistance against facebook for a while...
I did not want to join any friends network online...
I forgot the reason why...
until I am going through my potential friends list...
and I see someone I never wanted to see again.

I remember one of the reasons for my resistance...

I know somehow...he might just be one of them in the network.
I wanted to avoid...seeing him again...even online..
I actually am afraid...he will find me.

That's all.

Facebook

I am finally on FACEBOOK...
A network a lot of my friends have been pestering me to join...
And I use PESTER...becos they really do it on a mental level and cyber way...

When i am finally on it...

I thought...what a waste of life.

It looks fun though...
I suspect I couldn't escape the fate to spend some N-hours of time in the future on yet another cyber reason to keep up my cyber image...


But ,I am too tired to build any thing as yet.

My own life is in a mess...
These network just seem too superficial for now...
like another friendster to a higher level...

I found the best friend whom I am losing on FAcebook...and send her a poke...
In the hope that...maybe this shall be the new way for us to interact in the future...
Without taking up her time...and me feeling guilty.
If that is the only way now.

I will try anything.

I am that desperate now.

If she ever realise it.

I am not complaining...I am lamenting.

I wanted to stress that...this thing call friendship.
I am not blaming anyone for how things developed.

I am not complaining...

I AM LAMENTING.

Showing griefs....and airing sadness...

If you feel I am being over-sensitive...

It is because this friendship is very important to me...

Regardless...no point in clarifying...

She never reads my blog anyway.

This thing call Friendship.

Friendship.
A very fragile relationship...
That can be easily dilute and broken by time and distance.
Yet, the biggest factor to change it...is choice.

As in...how important you feel u need to spend your time on it.


Some friends...are always there in your life...
While some fade away with time.
When you leave your school...
When you leave a job...
When you get married...

You make convenient new friends...and forget the old...
You make friends who lives close to you...and forget those far away...
Who can blame that...human beings are lazy...I am too.

Yet, recently...
I am sad.
I actually find myself tongue-tied when I want to honestly tell a best friend that I felt left out by her...since she get married...
I tried...like i used to...to try to catch up on the phone...
but each time...it gets more and more difficult...
It was to a point I was so reluctant to call yet...made the call because I know...
If I do not call her...she will usually not call me.
I thought...maybe she is busy...but I am not.
If she can't catch up with me...I can catch up with her...
Yet...I think I am losing it...
Nowadays...I even feel guilty that I might be imposing her life...
No matter how friendly she sounded on the phone like she used to be...
I always have to hang up...feeling very sorry that I interrupted her life...
She is that busy...or I am too free.

She once said " Family is family..."...I understand...but what about friends?
Isn't friends still friends?

I can be understanding...yet I also understand...if this goes on...that is about it.

This thing call friendship...
Is like any other relationship...

needs to be water like a plant...

Take it for granted and leave unattended...

Is a choice.

That's about it.

This thing call friendship.

Wow...I only knew the version by Swing out sisters...until i heard this...

La la (means I love you) by Swing out sisters



THE ORIGINAL VERSION-Lala (means I love you) by Delfonics!

Let's Stay Together...Algreen

MY FAVOURITE SONG!

Great song survive through time...

Taiwanese Version




Korean Version



THE ORIGINAL from The Spinners

Some other classic GREAT songs from stylistic...I just found out...they are the original singers...

YOu are Everything....this song...the first version I ever heard from was from Grasshopper...the cantopop groups in the 80's who sang this song in chinese...and afterthat...I heard an old version by Teresa Tseng...and now...I found out...it was actually from The stylistics...Wonderful song...

Stylistics....The original singers for the song " I can't give you anything but my love"...used as the commercial theme for Gatsby commercial...

How can we forget this drama!

" Time...by Raymond Well....8PM"

Yeah...!

I finally know how to post youtube videos on my blogger!
So easy and convenient!

By the way...I would like to thank the person who post these WONDERFUL videoclips of old SBC drama theme song online.

Please go to his youtube link and thank this person if you feel the same nostalgia and happy feeling as I did when I saw these posting.

I suspect I will abuse this new found skill I learn and bombard my blog with videos...just like when I first learn how to post images...

Please bear with me...

Meanwhile...

EnJoy!

"嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟...青春 123...啦啦啦啦啦...青春 123..!"

Awwwwhhh...Nostalgia...

Some christmas...

OMG!!!...I laugh my head off when ZJ sent me this photo...it only shows..that everybody has their own ugly past...hahaha....a cute one though...LQ!...YOU ARE IN IT TOO... dun laugh!

The colour pencil again...

First of all....
I would like to thank LQ for reading my post and aware of my colour pencil dilemma.
While I am still being indecisive over whether i should buy colour pencils...
She is totally against spending $100 for colour pencils...
She has grown up...I am happy.

Meanwhile...

I receive the phone bill for last month calling my mum in thailand...which is $110.

I should have shut up and save that $110 to buy my full range of colour pencils.
Though...I did not regret having good talks with my mum.

I miss her.

This month...no more calls to thailand since i am going home soon...

I shall buy colour pencils for myself for this christmas.


:)

Some conversation...

Guan : you busy with what?

Me : me now? wasting my life in exchange of hard cash

Guan : lol, ok

Me : yet at the same time...storing potential energy for my future outburst of passion...

Dear friends...

I am tired for the day.

Good night.

Or should I say...Good Morning.

6.14am

Something good about heartbreaks...

I told Ah guan,

Heartbreaks make good writers and poets.

It is one of the many positive things I can think of for being broken-hearted.

Other then that,
I remember an old Carpenters songs...

"All you get from love...is a love song...."

How sad...yet how beautiful.

It's really a nice song...

Really...

The blind men's world again.

I was telling the blind men's story to ah guan.
And i have a whole new interpretation about this story.
Apart from the fact that everybody has a different kind of world they live in due to the different experience they have...

I also want to say that...

Although everyone is right...
Everyone is wrong at the same time.

Everyone has genuine experiences yet...partial truth is not the whole truth.
Yah..that's what I wanted to add.

That's all.

Romantic encounter...

It was romantic only because it happens to me.
It was a normal walk home.
Then he overtook me.

and walked in front of me...for the next 10 minutes..
One block away from my flat..I lost sight of him.

Until I turn corner and saw him again...standing in front of the lift lobby.
Reading a book...waiting for the lift...

When is the last time I saw a Singaporean man reading a book.

I cannot remember any.

This is not a Singaporean by the way.
He is an angmoh...
A handsome one. How handsome?
I describe him to wendy(my best friend) as "eastern european plumber looking"


He look up at me...
i suddenly feels shy.

For a split second...the lift door opens.
He looked at me...waiting for me to enter first.

When is the last time a singaporean man let me enter the lift first..
I cannot remember any as well...

I was too shy to look up..and enter the lift first, then him.

Door closes...

15th floor is for me.
He lives on the 13th.

I stand behind him...
The lift is so quiet...I am afraid he will hear my heartbeat...
But I was smiling...

13th floor..
door opens and he left...

15th floor...

Reach my door.

End of story.

120 colours...

I have been trying to convince myself...
that I don't need to buy 120 colours for colour pencils.
72 should be more than enough.
Yet I cannot resist the temptation to own as many colours as I just can see to many shades of colours out there...
The world is too colourful that even 120 of them is too little to express.

Maybe it is my vanity. Like woman never have enough shoes...
Artist never have enough colours.

I write therefore I am

I love to write.
But I haven't been writing.

And this in NOT RIGHT.

And so, I am writing now.

Anything and whatever.

I remember vividly that I am always speechless
when people ask me what makes me think
people will buy my book if i publish one.
Not that I do not have confident with my writing ability.
But I am equally aware that many else can write as good
and even way better than me in fact.
Even the worst writing is worth reading if you can appreciation
the intention of sharing a thought.
I am not sure if people will spent money to buy a book i wrote,
but I am glad to share what I write with people who is willing to read it.


For me.
I just want to share.

Even the slightest emotion trigger by the rain.
The occasional sadness.
The lovely moon.
The baby sleeping.
The yawning dog.
The dripping tower.
The soya sauce stain on someone's sleeve.


Each has a story.

Some may be boring yet can be written charmingly given the mood.
Some are funny yet you didn't laugh.
Some are happy, so happy...I run out of words...
Some are angry but you just cannot sense my anger when u read it..
Some are sad...so sad, yet you just think it is silly of me.

While I absorb the world's happening around me like a sponge, I squeese out my thoughts with art, with colours, with shapes, and mostly with words...


I am.
I write.

sleep...

sleep..sleep sleep...raining...sleeping sleeping...rain...sleep...

Hmm...nice

Raining...

raining...raining...raining...rain...rain....rain...raining...

Ah...rain...

Cloudless...

It was a cloudness night.

Because I can see all the stars...

Nice.

I see stars...

I see stars in the sky one night while walking home from work.

All the stars...so many.

It was a cloudless night.

Wish list...

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl.

May I have..the following for christmas...

1. 120 colour Pablo artist colour pencil. (1st choice)
Or Derwent coloursoft 72 colours. (2nd choice)

2. Mac Book Pro with New Mac OS Leopard, adobe and avid. (1st choice)
Or Laptop with adobe design suite and avid. (2nd choice)

3. Canon 400D, Lens kit 2, extra batteries and 2x2GB card(1st choice)
Or Panasonic FZ18, batteries and 2x2GB card or Canon G9 or Powershot S5

4. Schmincke Artist watercolour, at least basic 15 colours(1st choice
Or Aquafine(Daler Rodney) or Cotman(winton) at least 18 colours.(2nd choice)

5. Sole lover shoes, that particular design I saw.

6. $1000 kinokuniya OR PageOne voucher.

7. The spontaneous power to keep making art.


Please.

xxxx

10 things I learn this month...

1. My brother is getting married SUDDENLY.

2. Old friends are nice friends because they grew up with you...

3. Watercolours are expensive art materials...

4. Flu bugs are getting fiercer lately...

5. Earth is striking BACK with all sorts of freaky weather!

6. There are just people who likes to BE MEAN AND RUDE to people for their own pleasure.

7. There is a small island off singapore shore call Pedra Blanca almost the size of a football field...with a lighthouse on it.

8. Malaysian and singaporean govt are fighting an international court case over the sovereignity of this island.

9. Roger Federer is the BEST TENNIS PLAYER!...and I like him!

10. Teh Haliah...is ginger tea with milk.

What the HeLL!!!!

Yes...WaT tHe hELL...!
I haven't blog for more than a month!!!

That is definitely SINFUL!

Arhmituofuo....

Buddha please forgive me...
I did not cleanse my soul as much as I should have...

And why?
Because I have no life this month.

Why?? why?

Becos, I worked.
I sold my soul for HARD CASH.
That is why.

Meanwhile...


This week something that bothers me a bit....
I woke up one fine day...and saw a vague wrinkle under my right eye....
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

RUb a lot of moisturiser....and manage to hide it...
But just this morning....
the line appear again..
creepily....

DAMN YOUTUBE!
Should have gone to bed early...

Self-discipline lady...
Go To SLeEP!...
For buddha sake...

Arhmituofu.

MOnday bleu...

I was feeling so blue so blue yesterday...
I couldn't help but to eat and eat even though I am very full...
It is quite a scary feeling, not the feeling blue part...
But the eat and eat...

But honestly...I was so blue...I just want to go to sleep.

Yet another unproductive day.

I am sinful.

Awfully.

Hey Mr Sun!

Soobin is in a lovely mood today...

Soobin wants a pet dog...but her mum says NO...

Happy 5th Anniversary to KBoX!!!!

And YEah!!!...I went for their $5 all day promotion...from Sunday till Wednesday...stuffed myself with the $5 tibits until I am suffering from constipation...
This is retribution for being greedy. No kidding.
And look at these lovely Kbox 5th anniversary Choc...I dun eat choc...
but I think they are cute.

My StrAwbeRry puRse...The Real Thing.

My StrAwbeRry puRse...Soobin's version

Top 10 Sing list...

I love to sing...
Sing in the bathroom, sing in bed...sing at the bus-stop...sing at work...
Whenever I have the mood that is...

And most of all...sing in KTV.

Below is my top 10 in random order...

1. You make me want to fall in love-F.I.R
2. 一个人生活- 林凡
3. 喜欢你-Kit Chan
4. 笑忘书- 王菲
5. 我真的受伤了- 王苑之
6. 听说爱情回来过- Sandy Lam
7. 新不了情-万芳
8.玫瑰香- Sandy Lam
9. 爱太远- Li Qi
10. 梦醒时分- 陈淑桦

Ahh...feel like singing again soon.

:)

In praise of slowness...

After the fall, I learn a lot of new things in life.

I finally understand why turtle live a long life.

They are slow...that's why.

What's the hurry actually.

Take it easy!

Organidling...

"If you find mundane chores more seductive in the face of important tasks, you could be an 'organidler'"

That is me.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_165789.html

And I am glad that I am actually being productive for not really doing anything...or maybe not...
I am organidling.

Ha.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall....

3 minutes to the next train...

I can run into the confectionery to get my lunch...
Hotdog with pork floss bun and Garlic with ham bun...

1 minutes to the the next train...
I scan my ezlink card...and head for the platform...

Heard the familair sound...
Train arriving...

I speed up my steps...and run upwards the escalator...
Lifted my right foot...missed the steps...
kicked onto the steps instead...
tripped...
And fall...
Hands down...hurt my left foot and right foot's toe...and hit my head...

But reach the top of the platform in time...

Stand up..and feel the pain...
Staggle onto the arrived train in time.

Sat down...and FEEL the pain coming...
The peel on my toes started to bleed...
wrap my toes franctically with tissue...

HAlf an hour of pain...

Reach Cityhall...

Got the station master to dress my wounds vaguely...with some cleaning and plaster...
Walk in pain to work...

Show off my wounds...and was in pain...
Went to see the company clinic, thanks to my boss who offer to pay under company bill...

Got a jab...in case the escalator is rusty..

Did not went home immediately...instead..went to collect stuff from CDL...as scheduled.

Reach home finally...and rest.

Still in pain now.


Just because I want to catch the train...which the next train is only 7 minutes later..

What is the hurry...?

The moral of the story...according to my mum...
DO NOT SPENT TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TV AT NIGHT...
and wake up earlier...and get prepared earlier...and leave home in advance so that I do not need to be in a hurry all the time...

Point taken mum.

LAstly...I had to say I am lucky already...if slip instead...and roll down the steps...
I won't be blogging now.

Pleasure...

Had a nice cup of hot Tazo Chai Tea latte on Monday afternoon...
Had a pleasant surprise that it taste GREAT!

Did a research on what Tazo Chai Tea latte is...

Tazo...is a brand.
Chai is the word for tea in indian...is black tea with spices...
Latte...means with steamed milk.

Remember the nepalese tea I drank at Hungary made by my friend Andrea.
It was something like chai latte...milk tea with spices...

Love that kind of taste....
Peaceful and calming.

Love Spiced milk tea.
Love Chai.

Love this little pleasure of taste in life...

I am sinful

Dear buddha,

I am sinful.
I made a mistake today.
I forgot to go for my art teaching lesson today.
I FORGOT ABOUT IT. TOTALLY.

Until my student's mum called me...
and I said "SHIT! I TOTALLY FORGOT!"
I was too honest.

My reply was worse than not going for the lesson.

And so...I guess she must be angry.
I feel really bad.

Once again,
I am so sorry.
I AM SO VERY SORRY.
I REALLY AM.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Ok, I lied.

I couldn't help but to do another posting.

It was that korean dad that I want to talk about.

Nowadays, actually only since last week...
he will just be right THERE.
THERE.
As in there in the living room where I teach.
He will be sitting quietly back facing me at the corner of the house...reading a book.
Rather intriguing.

Then, when I was about to leave...he will turn and we will exchange bows.

That was it.

Good night...yawnzzz....

One last entry for the day...

Though I was dead tired already...

4.47am.

One last photo to share for the day...

The view from the laundry area of my flat...

On a particular normal day...among the HDB...

A strangely beautiful sunset was there
right before me...

My dear Soobin...

This is a nice painting done by my student Soobin, during a good mood day few weeks ago...when she thought her parents has agree to let her adopt a doggie.

Browsing...

Was browsing through the photos I took many months ago...
Going through my life...like reading my little photo diary...

And saw the blue screen....

Yes...the legendary blue screen that scare the shit out of me...the hellish nightmare which I am too confuse to make up my mind if I actually I wanted to cry or simply too pissed.

It was all over now...yet...the sight of it still send the chill down my spine and make my heart stop that one beat.

Ladies and gentlemen...

May I present...THE BLUE SCREEN...


Serious....no kidding...

ZAKKA!

The term I learn just minutes ago sent me into a realm of endless fantasy and thoughts...

ZAKKA according to wikipedia...

Zakka (from the Japanese 'zak-ka'（雑貨）or 'many things') is a fashion and design phenomenon that has spread from Japan throughout Asia. The term refers to everything and anything that improves your home, life and outlook. It is often based on household items from the West that are regarded as kitsch in their countries of origin. But can also be japanese goods from mainly fifties, sixties and seventies. In Japan there are also so called asian zakka stores, that usually refers to southeast asia. The interest in Nordic design or Scandinavian design, both contemporary and past, is also part of this zakka movement. Zakka can also be contemporary handicraft.

Zakka has also been described as "the art of seeing the savvy in the ordinary and mundane". The zakka boom could be recognized as merely another in a series of consumer fads, but it also touches issues of self-expression and spirituality. Cute, corny and kitschy is not enough. To qualify as a zakka, a product must be attractive, sensitive, and laden with subtext.

So far...I am quite a fan of the Japanese and Taiwanese Zakka...and a lot of eurpoean zakka...which I discovered from books I read in kinokuniya...

All about HAND-MADE...with an ATTITUDE!

...

I want to make art...
I have to make art...

I NEED TO MAKE ART.
DYING TO...

Need to get out of this job...

I realise...
My part time job in the jap rest...is actually my SAFE MODE...
I feel safe...but I am getting no where.

And I am getting frustrated now.

Precisely.

I need to get out of it ASAP.

Trying to pick up...

It was like...
You can hear the alarm ringing...
You wanna wake up...
But couldn't...

That frustrating.

But WHY?

why couldn't?

I realise the reason why...

I was struck by hurt and disappointment...
Like a computer under virus attack...
I was put on SAFE MODE...
I was being reformat...
and start afresh...
While I was too afraid to be hurt and be disappointed again...
and in order to protect myself from being hurt...
My brain and body decide to run on SAFE MODE to prevent further damage...

Hence my current status of ...unable to perform to MAX...due to the mode I am currently running in...


An angry situation which I need to resolve.


Running on SAFE MODE is safe...but frustrating...

I want to be safe because I dun want to get hurt...

But...being frustrated now...IS WORSE THAN BEING HURT.

Life got to get back to normal..

I WANT MY POWER BACK!

I want the good old me who is fearless...and go all out to get things.

I want myself back.

Continued...

I was saying...

I missed out a a few episode about my student's dad...since the
"We are poor but we are rich in our heart..." episode...

This time round....last week, I saw another side of this man.

Apart from fixing the TV, having a pet snail...and likes to make wooden puzzle...
This week...I saw him playing tennis with his son...
I only took a glance of him for 0.5 seconds and no more...I was too shy...

This week...he was sitting right in front of me about 3 metres away....doing stuff on his laptop...
I wonder why he dun just hide in his own room like what he usually did...
I was feeling a bit uneasy to teach his daughter in front of him...
Because he makes me nervous...

Anyway...
That was all.

Yet another of my nonsensical crush.

To be continued....

Down with flu...

Feeling tired all day..

She saw a ghost...

I was convinced by my student that she saw a ghost yesterday.

After so many kind of hearsay from people...her version seems to be the most convincing one.

It was too hard for me not to believe...from her description.

Translucent...with long hair.....

Quite freaky...but I cannot show my fear...because it will only scare her more...and she dun dare to tell her parents...

Then I told her about the hungry ghost festival...that the “good brothers” will come out for their holidays during these periods...and will leave when the holiday ends...and told her not to worry...

And she ask me...what so they do when they go back...

I told her...they go back to wait for their turn to reincarnate...to be reborn...

She show me her curious eyes...and asked me... “so I am reborn?”

“Maybe...”

I manage to reduce her fear with my crazy idea that I might be a fish in my past life...or maybe I might become a snail in my next life...she was laughing away...

Finally, I manage to distracted her with some youtube videos on Korean drama clips...as we giggle all the way when we see our favourite male actor, chung jung myung, kissing the female lead...

She will be alright.

But honestly, I was freaked...

Arhmituofu...

I am rich in my heart too...

“Do you think I am rich?”

My 8 year old Korean student asked me.

I was stuck for more than 2 seconds...wondering if there is a special reason for her question....whether if this is one of her trick question on me...or she wanted to tell me something with this question...I think too much, I admit...but I was right.

She wanted to tell me something from her trick question.

But she wanted me to answer her question first.

And so, trying to answer her question...I thought...from my observation of her family...I think her family is considered average to me...well...maybe slightly above average...as she lives in a condominium...and the fact that her mum can afford to pay me to teach her daughter drawing...ermm....

I simply told her.... “I think you family looks OK.”

She showed her smile...and said...

“No, we are rich...My father says...we may be poor...but we are rich in our heart.”

For a moment, I was speechless.

Why?

My heart skipped a beat...that’s why.

This Korean dad has been my secret crush for a while after numerous visits to the family.

I have to admit my crush started simply because he is a Korean...extended from my craze over the Korean dramas...He will be around most of the time when I arrive for the lesson...to maybe occasionally open the door for me..., for once pour me a cup of water, ONLY ONCE...but most of the time...he will disappear into his room when I arrive or leave the house and his daughter and go out for a walk when he knows I am coming...

Rather boring ...

Yet...

The few times I thought this Korean dad is interesting was when I spot him reading a book sitting at the sofa once, just woke up from his nap and came out to check on his kids...looking blur.....fixing the TV...help the kids assemble wooden models...catch a snail as house pet for the children, play tennis with his children, bring the children to the botanic garden...and today...told his daughter...that... “we may be poor but we are rich in our heart”

Meanwhile, she went back to do her drawing...left me smiling...thinking of that brilliant answer.

She spotted me day-dreaming and ask me why...

“Then, do you think I am rich?” I asked her back.

She looks at my outfit and says...”I think you are ok”

And I told her...” No, I am a poor...”

We exchange glances for a moment...with our squinty eyes...

“but I am rich in my heart too...”

We both laughed.

GO AWAY! I WANNA SLEEP!

PISSED!!!!

**%"$^+_((<>¬%^*

I am swearing...
Because I am pissed by my nanny who woke me up when I am sleeping...
HEr reason being...because I am having 3 days off anyway...and I should wake up by now..
MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE....
whichever off days i am going to have from now...it doesn't mean I do not need to sleep now.

SLEEP IS SLEEP!

WE NEED TO SLEEP EVERYDAY!

and she did not realise when she is sleeping I AM WORKING!
So when she is not sleeping...she feels that I am sleeping all the time!!!!!


SO SUPER PISSED!!!!!!!


DON'T WAKE ME UP!!!!!!


GO AWAY!!!!

I WANNA SLEEP!!!!

12 minutes to 5am...

That is the time now...
And I am tired.
Of course I am...
I should be sleeping...
But I have so many things I want to do...

Yet I need to sleep now.

Good night.

Take care.

Falling in love again...

Recently...

I am having an over dosage of this particular song which I set on repeat mode these few nights...

"Falling in love again"by Bobby Kim and father ( soundtrack from korean drama, Foxy Lady)

Spent hours to search for it's romanized korean lyrics so that I can sing with it...but to no avail...

Finally...i grab the speaker and put it to my ear...and start to write down sound by sound...

For hours...

This is the result...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Presenting

Lyrics of "Falling in love again..." Bobby Kim and Father...

Romanized sound by sound without knowing what it means...

PLEASE CLAP...

*****

Pa ha rah aga chul ku no dim gah..
Sarang nerl cha-ga soul oh yeah...
Yang go ni sen wo keh nora nerl na neh
Pa ra ye teng go deh oh yeah
Yo keh noru cha-ga soul
Kezo ke me no e na oh yeah
Chul haiyer pa no nerl neh maru merl..baby..
Haji her nuru heru sa ra nah keh

I’m falling in love again...
Noru cha-ga soul...
Ayer yik chen mo chul serl haru we der haru neh

I’m falling in love again
No ha ra ma...
Naru pyong ni she ke hurl
Ku min ger yong ara jin

Oh ...oh ..oh....hmmm..

Man hong na ono weh tan aka yeah
Ho reh rerl hong nam myong ..oh yeah
Kambon jyong so nerl hong deroh jyong...baby
Hop shim nora nerl
Hairi ji go no rerl ni

I’m falling in love again..
Noru pa da ya..
Nala ku han neh hye nerl
Cha-ger ko deh an ba di

I’m falling in love again...
Weh e-ro keh
Noru toh gai ya han na ne mang merl
weh mo lah

Ahn jang chu jyo sul reh
Echul jek chul nara soul
Bong myong yi nan nok na kom ma ner sa kerm na yi teh
Haji man nan naru bong myong sarang hye pam byong
Echul ku merl cha-ga bong myang
A ka der ha geh...

I’m falling in love again...
Noru cha-ga soul...
Ayer yik chen mo chul serl haru we der haru neh

I’m falling in love again
No ha ra ma...
Naru pyong ni she ke hurl
Ku min ger yong ara jin

I’m falling in love again...
Noru cha-ga soul...
Ayer yik chen mo chul serl haru we der haru neh

I’m falling in love again
No ha ra ma...
Naru pyong ni she ke hurl
Ku min ger yong ara jin

******

To judge my accuracy....please listen to the song yourself and sing along with the lyrics...

And praise me if you are impressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFaQNmbFxb8

This is the video showing the clips from the korean drama,foxy lady...with this song as soundtrack.

Watch it! Love it! and Sing along with MY LYRICS!

Enjoy!

I touch a snail...

Yesterday was the first time in my life...

To touch a living snail...the flesh and the shell.

It was an experience of a lifetime...and a rather freaky one...

I was forced to...at the same time..i was tempted.

It was slimy and wriggling as usual...and how scary can it get...

My 8 years old korean student Soobin prompted me...while i was yeeeking away...

She says..."what is so scary about a snail?"
and she is right.

So I touch it...while it's flesh was wriggling...I touch the wriggling flesh of her pet snail...
from the transparent container with a small opening exposing the flesh of the crawling snail upside down...

It was ...er..

Slimy...sticky...

and...that's all.

After that...i touch it for a few more times...it was fun.

And while I thought I have successfully overcome my own fear...
She pick up her snail...and chase after me around her house...

I know it was silly...

Apparently...I am still afraid of snail...even after I have touch it...
Maybe not as afraid as before...
But not until i can play with it yet.

I touched a snail..

I really did.

I really feel proud that I have overcome yet another of my own fear...

I bet you never touch a snail before...Or..Have you?

Stubborn ME?...or You?

I have friends who insisted that I am a stubborn person...

Logically let's see it in this way...
whoever feels that someone else is stubborn...
are ALSO STUBBORN themselves.

When one person do not accept your point of view and insist on working on their own view...and you feel they are stubborn, that is because you yourself do not accept other people's point of view...and uses the word "stubborn" to brand the person who thinks otherwise.

Let's face it...

Stop being stubborn!

For all the people who are branded stubborn...or people who brand other people as "stubborn"

Think about this.

Blind men's world....

There is a chinese proverb about blind men toucing an elephant.
Each of them manage to find a spot to touch the elephant at different parts...
And one of them says...the elephant is big like a wall...it's body...
The other says...the elephant is long like a pillar...it's legs..
Another says...it is long and swaying...the trunk...
The last one just manage to grap the elephant husk and says...it is hard and curvy...

Everyone is right...

This story tells us...when you think right...it does not neccessary mean others are wrong.
Everyone could be right....just that each and everyone of us happen to see the different parts of the whole truth...and believe in what we perceive in our own small perception of things. We are not wrong...maybe just incomplete.

There are times when u see this world in this way...and u think that is the whole truth...in fact...you only see part of it. If you are happy with that kind of incomplete truth...there is no sin to it....but the best thing is to share this different kind of vision you have with others so that both of you can boarden each other's vision...however...do not force your truth on other people who sees a different world...afterall...we use our heart to feel this world differently...not matter how true your world is to you...it might not be real to the person who feels this world differently.

Finally...think about this...if you live in a house with only a window enabling you to only look out at one view for your whole life...your life...will be about that one view only. It is not a bad thing if u are happy. But do keep in mind that there is no point in arguing with your neighbour who has a window facing your house about how the world look like.

I am blind...and I am happy.
And I respect that you are blind too.

Let's be happy about what WE CANNOT SEE...and enjoy what we see.

Foxy lady...

Yeah!...my latest korean drama craze is the foxy lady .
A great show to look out for...and the vocal soundtracks are super.

The male lead...Chun Jung Myung is so cute...I felt like hugging him...

Go watch it!

小情歌

"这是一首简单的小情歌..."

就是那么简单...

"你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡"

简单得令人感动...

"唱着人们心肠的曲折"

不信...自己听吧.

http://www.up37.com/user/nanayuyu/2007062110364373499.mp3

Don't just say...just do it...

That is what I needed.
And here I am...talking about it...
I should be spending these time...DOING IT INSTEAD.

I NEED TO JUST DO IT.

REALLY.

ALL THOSE WHO EVER MADE AN EFFORT
TO KICK MY ASS...and SCOLDED ME...

Thank you.