Monday, June 20, 2005

Still 18th June...

we are back from Edinburgh...
And i had to see him...

I went to his studio...
and she was there...
He was inside his studio behind the little control room...
while she is in the interactive space...
she saw me...and smile...and said...

"he was talking about you for the whole day...and say why din you come over..'

I was slightly happy...but I know she is just being polite...

I told him i went to edinburgh...and is going home soon....

****

I was outside the school after packing my laptop....and just outside the school building...I saw him and her...

walking together...holding hands...

I was walking right behind...like 10 metres away...

I search for my camera...and SHIT!...i forget to bring...

I wanted to take a picture of their backview holding hands....
Not to remember it...instead...to forget...

Becos...I am going to rememebr this scene forever becos I dun have a camera with me then...
I cannot load this image off my mind...

That scene that pinch my heart again...

I was caught in a dllemma whether to call out to him or not...

It would have beem weird to interupt becos they look like they are enjoying some little moments together...

I called out to him softly...and swallow my voice...

and just walked behind them....becos that was also my way home..

Today...he din ride a bike to school and walked home with her...that wasvery nice...

Then...

she suddenly stopped....and take pictures of a building...

while he waited...

he turn around...

AND SAW ME....

I smiled at him......and he made a hand gesture to shoot me...

I pretend to get hitted by him...

and we laugh...then his gf saw me...

we are like 10 metres apart then...

I join their walk...which i feel a bit bad...becos I interupted their moment...

and the walking position is funny...

I was talking to him....and walked on his side...while his gf was slightly between and behind us...
Then i realise that and feel bad...so...i widen the gap between us...so that she can come in between...
becos I am really shouldn't be the one standing beside him...
Then I end up talking to him..with her standing betwwen us...
I asked him....if his studio back in the barnes building is empty now..
" Did you want the key?...and he took out his key...
and he was tempting me with his key...
He gave me the key...

Then she stopped and took pictures again...and I walked with him further down...and he told me we dun have to be inschool early...becos studio is open at 2pm tomolo...we are smiling...and his girfren came over...and asked why are we laughing so happily...we told her about my retarded discovery...

We parted at the junction...and said good bye...smiling at him...and his gf.




*****

Backed at home....

I spent the whole night watching korean movie...

I was slightly feeling better becos my attention was slighty diverted to be in love with the drama...

Until the next morning...I have realise something...

All the while...it was a misunderstanding of gesture...

I mistook his gesture of friendship for love.

He is still very nice to me...in front of his girlfren...and he never did look akward...

I was more like a buddy to him...

200605

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