Still 17th of June 2005

While he was holding her hand and i walked behind...we met Heather my best fren in school...
She asked him to introduce her...
And i was standing beside looking at them...
he look so affectionate when he introduce her...
I walked away...

I went back to wendy...

She was waiting for me in the crowd...

I was so sad by then...but i wanted to see him for the last time.

I know i am not sensible anymore...

I called him and ask where is he...

And he told me he was near the Vic bar...i went there and he was at a corner...with her...
I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME OVER...
I walked towards them...
and he said the most hurting words i have heard from him...
"I shall be a gentleman today and let you sit on my jacket..."
And he lay his jacket on the floor and let me sit on it...at one side of the corner...
I was touched...but hurt too..and said jokingly..."yah...and the rest of the days...you are a bastard.."
while he sat with his gf...at the other side...

It was the next hurtful moments...after the hand holding episode...
Becos...I felt like an intruder...
someone extra....
someone...who shouldn't be there at all...

I asked him if he is still angry with that drunk woman...
and he said..." Chyi Yun...why din you help me...We can beat them up together..."(something like that...)
I smile....

We sat there for a while...while he took pictures of the crowd in front with his gf's camera....
while i was holding on to his camera and took pictures of him..and his gf...
he showed the pics to his gf on his right...
and turn to his left to show me...
I was surprise...but slightly feeling confused...

Then...I stood up..and said i am leaving...becos my friend, wendy who fly over from singapore to see me is waiting for me...
They also stood up and plan to leave...
He wanted to take his jacket...and I pick that up instead...and say this to him...
"I will be a gentle lady today...to put this on for you..."
he replied..."and the rest of the days you are a bastard.."
I replied .."yah.." ..and pretend to strangle him......

Then...while we walked out of the corner...
someone on the way stopped us...
our classmate alison..and ask him to introduce her...
he did..and my classmates asked...."Is she your girlfren?"
And SHE NODDED HER HEAD...
I couldn't remember what was his replied...
becos I was already walking away...when I heard alison ask this..and by the time i turn my head and wanted to look at his expression...HER NOD caught me...but i think i heard him admitting it...but i forget what he says...

One more thing to add to the confirmation...which convince me...I have been fantasizing all the while...
It was all my colorful imagination of this world....
Things really did happened...but not the way I thought they meant to be...
All was just a silly girl's fantasy...
My silly single-minded, one-sided...love story.

It was shattered into a million,billion...trillion pieces...
My heart...that is.
This happened on the 17th June 2005



200605