...

I want to make art...
I have to make art...

I NEED TO MAKE ART.
DYING TO...

Need to get out of this job...

I realise...
My part time job in the jap rest...is actually my SAFE MODE...
I feel safe...but I am getting no where.

And I am getting frustrated now.

Precisely.

I need to get out of it ASAP.

Trying to pick up...

It was like...
You can hear the alarm ringing...
You wanna wake up...
But couldn't...

That frustrating.

But WHY?

why couldn't?

I realise the reason why...

I was struck by hurt and disappointment...
Like a computer under virus attack...
I was put on SAFE MODE...
I was being reformat...
and start afresh...
While I was too afraid to be hurt and be disappointed again...
and in order to protect myself from being hurt...
My brain and body decide to run on SAFE MODE to prevent further damage...

Hence my current status of ...unable to perform to MAX...due to the mode I am currently running in...


An angry situation which I need to resolve.


Running on SAFE MODE is safe...but frustrating...

I want to be safe because I dun want to get hurt...

But...being frustrated now...IS WORSE THAN BEING HURT.

Life got to get back to normal..

I WANT MY POWER BACK!

I want the good old me who is fearless...and go all out to get things.

I want myself back.

Continued...

I was saying...

I missed out a a few episode about my student's dad...since the
"We are poor but we are rich in our heart..." episode...

This time round....last week, I saw another side of this man.

Apart from fixing the TV, having a pet snail...and likes to make wooden puzzle...
This week...I saw him playing tennis with his son...
I only took a glance of him for 0.5 seconds and no more...I was too shy...

This week...he was sitting right in front of me about 3 metres away....doing stuff on his laptop...
I wonder why he dun just hide in his own room like what he usually did...
I was feeling a bit uneasy to teach his daughter in front of him...
Because he makes me nervous...

Anyway...
That was all.

Yet another of my nonsensical crush.

To be continued....

Down with flu...

Feeling tired all day..

She saw a ghost...

I was convinced by my student that she saw a ghost yesterday.

After so many kind of hearsay from people...her version seems to be the most convincing one.

It was too hard for me not to believe...from her description.

Translucent...with long hair.....

Quite freaky...but I cannot show my fear...because it will only scare her more...and she dun dare to tell her parents...

Then I told her about the hungry ghost festival...that the “good brothers” will come out for their holidays during these periods...and will leave when the holiday ends...and told her not to worry...

And she ask me...what so they do when they go back...

I told her...they go back to wait for their turn to reincarnate...to be reborn...

She show me her curious eyes...and asked me... “so I am reborn?”

“Maybe...”

I manage to reduce her fear with my crazy idea that I might be a fish in my past life...or maybe I might become a snail in my next life...she was laughing away...

Finally, I manage to distracted her with some youtube videos on Korean drama clips...as we giggle all the way when we see our favourite male actor, chung jung myung, kissing the female lead...

She will be alright.

But honestly, I was freaked...

Arhmituofu...

I am rich in my heart too...

“Do you think I am rich?”

My 8 year old Korean student asked me.

I was stuck for more than 2 seconds...wondering if there is a special reason for her question....whether if this is one of her trick question on me...or she wanted to tell me something with this question...I think too much, I admit...but I was right.

She wanted to tell me something from her trick question.

But she wanted me to answer her question first.

And so, trying to answer her question...I thought...from my observation of her family...I think her family is considered average to me...well...maybe slightly above average...as she lives in a condominium...and the fact that her mum can afford to pay me to teach her daughter drawing...ermm....

I simply told her.... “I think you family looks OK.”

She showed her smile...and said...

“No, we are rich...My father says...we may be poor...but we are rich in our heart.”

For a moment, I was speechless.

Why?

My heart skipped a beat...that’s why.

This Korean dad has been my secret crush for a while after numerous visits to the family.

I have to admit my crush started simply because he is a Korean...extended from my craze over the Korean dramas...He will be around most of the time when I arrive for the lesson...to maybe occasionally open the door for me..., for once pour me a cup of water, ONLY ONCE...but most of the time...he will disappear into his room when I arrive or leave the house and his daughter and go out for a walk when he knows I am coming...

Rather boring ...

Yet...

The few times I thought this Korean dad is interesting was when I spot him reading a book sitting at the sofa once, just woke up from his nap and came out to check on his kids...looking blur.....fixing the TV...help the kids assemble wooden models...catch a snail as house pet for the children, play tennis with his children, bring the children to the botanic garden...and today...told his daughter...that... “we may be poor but we are rich in our heart”

Meanwhile, she went back to do her drawing...left me smiling...thinking of that brilliant answer.

She spotted me day-dreaming and ask me why...

“Then, do you think I am rich?” I asked her back.

She looks at my outfit and says...”I think you are ok”

And I told her...” No, I am a poor...”

We exchange glances for a moment...with our squinty eyes...

“but I am rich in my heart too...”

We both laughed.