What's this?

I have notice a lump on my wrist recently.
It happens suddenly as far as I can rememeber.
It was a weird lump that is painful only when I press it on a certain angle.
Other than that, it was just a lump.

Initially, I thought it was a dislocation or fracture, yet it was not so painful until I need any treatment.
I ignore for about a week, until my imaginations starts to run wild.

What if it is an alien hand growing out of my wrist?
What if it is cancerous?
What if it is a broken bone, infected?
What if...what if..what if...
What in the world is this?

It feels like a bone, yet not hard enough, but definitely not a growth as it was quite hard for a growth.

I went to a doctor in the end.

It was a ganglion.

Erm...ok...and so what is ganglion?

(http://www.med.und.nodak.edu/users/jwhiting/gangdef.html)

Definition: The ganglion cyst (also known as a wrist cyst, Bible cyst, or dorsal tendon cyst) is the most common soft tissue mass of the hand. It is a fluid filled sac which can be felt below the skin. It is usually attached to a tendon sheath (lining which lubricates the tendon) in the hand or wrist or connected with an underlying joint; however, some have no obvious connection to any structures. These may also occur in the foot. It often occurs when there is a tear in the ligaments overlying the lining of tendons or joints and the lining herniates out of the ligamentous defect causing a bump under the skin. Because there is often inflammation associated, the inflamed tissue produces a jelly-like fluid which fills the protruding sac. They may be rock hard due to a high pressure of the mucous like fluid contained within the cyst, and are often mistaken for a bony prominence.

(http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/BHCV2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Cysts_ganglion_cysts?OpenDocument)

Ganglion cysts used to be treated by slamming them with a heavy book such as a Bible - which explains the term 'Bible therapy'. This isn't a good idea, as you could cause further injury. Medical treatment options include:

Close monitoring - if the ganglion cyst isn't causing pain or interfering with movement, some doctors prefer to wait and see. The cyst may simply disappear on its own. ( good news! 30% of cases disappear on it's own!!!Yeah!)

Needle aspiration - one of the tests to diagnose ganglion cysts involves drawing off the fluid with a fine needle. In many cases (around 75 per cent), this treatment empties the cyst and no further action is needed.

Surgery - the cyst or cysts are surgically removed, usually by a specialist such as an orthopaedic surgeon. Ganglion cysts of the feet will usually require surgery.

And so...my doctor says, I should go home and observe it. It will requires attention if it grows bigger and affect daily activities...
I guess if I won't die from it, I am fine. Though it was a little painful sometimes, which means it could be pressing on some nerves, I think I can still live with it for now.

Fingers cross....

Really following up...

Yes...an update on my job. There hasn't been any update not because nothing happen but because there isn't a proper day off for me to sit down and type. So tired that I only want to sleep when I reach home.

Schedules and duties keep changing last minute, badly coordinated, and we have to travel to remote venues carrying big bulky and sometimes heavy material and the most annoying part...no travel expenses given and cannot be claimed.

Off days are like the biggest mystery for everybody...we just don't know if we are ever getting one, we either DEMAND FOR IT...or for some, just resort to getting an MC and skip work. Which worsen the matter as for those who still comes to work will end up with yet another last minute assignment.

Bad planning. Classes are schedule in venues without proper planning. End up with 3 classes running at the same time in the same studio. I have to move my student into the work office for his workshop.

Finally the worst of all, the boss. She did it all the time. 6pm our official knock off time...she will choose to arrive in office at 5.45pm and grab people to do things or discuss work matter. She can call people at 10am on Sunday morning to ask about unimportant work matters on people's off days. She didn't realise people has private life. She didn't realise she hired the wrong people to do the wrong job...she hires a childcare expert to do admin work and telemarketing. She hires an interior designer to do logistics, hires a sculptor to do coordinating and logistics...She exhausted man-power to do loads of marketing and programme developments...BUT...fails to see the importance of actually delivering a solid programme. She just wants to make money. There is nothing wrong, she is running a business...but to me...it is art...not some mass produce product. I feel sad. She is doing a business afterall, I understand, but for me, I cannot agree.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am the only one who cannot stand her working style. Maybe it is me, my fault that I cannot stand her...But after today, I am convince the problem is with her and not me... She called the office and announce that she is arriving soon at 5.45pm....four of us...heard the announcement, rushed to packed up, and head for the door...we have to resort to sneakingly use the emergency exit stairway in attempt to avoid seeing her at the lift.

Last week...one colleague officially left the company, while the other tender her resignation and works until the 22nd Dec who has been counting down already for her last day...

This week, one tender her resignation yesterday, another today...

Tomorrow, it will be me.

Follow up...

My apology for not following up my job progress...
It was due to the fact that I was utterly exhausted after my work everyday.
Mentally and physically.
It was simply draining...felt like a sugarcane totally squashed....

I have been wondering if it was only me who cannot stand this boss...and the kind of work...in the end...I realise...everybody is tempted to quit...
and all are just waiting for the right time...

I better be the first, so that I can move on...but still...I need to wait for the right time...regardless how I hate this job, I need to be responsible for my job...

The very last time I was pissed off, was when my boss sent me an email and tell me, she had paid me more than the rest her staff, and she wants me to justify my worth...she also sent me an email and ask me to list down the stuff I am suppose to do, to show her...

Well...maybe she thinks she overpaid me...and I wasn't working hard enough for the money she paid...while I am totally exhausted.
If she is reading... Dear boss, I earn more waitressing in a restaurant than working for you.

Pissed off.

Girl's best friend

Diamond???...

Nah.....it's shoes.

Went shopping with colleagues yesterday and end up buying 3 pairs of shoes...feeling rather guilty and sinful because I am always proud of my own thriftiness....I dig my brian for excuses why it was alright to buy these 3 pairs of shoes...

My conclusion was... next time no matter what my friends say...I should only buy those I really am willing to without feeling guilty....and now I am guilty.

It is not as if I have bought something I dun like, but I have spent money on things that I shouldn't. I do like all of the 3 pairs, but I really am guilty. Because, usually I will only buy something if it qualify my stringent criteria and make sure it is worth spending my hard-earn money.

First, comfort level.
Second, preference.
Third,affordability.
Fourth, durability.

Above was my criteria for buying shoes.

This time, 2 of the pairs were bought becos my friends likes them more than me. They are really nice shoes. But I feel the pinch.
Something must be wrong somewhere...and it is the comfort level.
Those 2 pairs, were wrong becos of the comfort level.
While the pair that I really like...was detest by my friends...they simply think that the one and only pair which I think is most worthy...was the only pair I shouldn't buy...

In the end...I buy all 3 pair.

Feeling rather guilty and sinful, I have decided to make sure that all 3 pair is well worn and worth every cent. I am going to wear them until they fall apart...

Shoes...how can any women live without...

OFF DAY

Today is my lovely off day.
But not lovely when i have loads of lessons plan to hand up by tomorrow.
Off day...I spend my whole day doing office work...

Pissed.

Thursday...

Sianz...

I knew the painting lessons is going to be super boring..
And it is going to scare them off.

I told my boss this will not work.
But she insist on doing things her way.
It is not as if I never make my point clear, I show her my doubt.
I voice my doubt.
I tried my best.
I was slammed.
No one is standing on my side upfront...they just kept quiet...
Let her be.
She is the boss.

And true enough...the students are freak off by the boredness
I am not guilty..and I appreciate their feedback..
SO THAT I CAN BOMB MY BOSS WITH THEIR FEEDBACK.
Of course my teaching can be more interesting.
I hope.

I am actually angry also that I was put in a spot whereby the boss has her own ideal of how art should be teached...
and what the student wants...

I am no longer interestinged in upholding my own stand...
This is NOT MY ART...
BUT ONLY A JOB TO ME NOW...

Time to end it.