This lonely world has been lonely all the while...

I do not know how long these crying fits is ever going to end...
I hope it will not be too long.
Too many crying makes me tired all the time...

I told JM i wish to be normal again....
And he asked me what is normal for me...

Think about it....
Normal is enjoying the quietness in my room alone...and write.
Normal is enjoying the sadness and cries...
Normal is enjoying the loneliness and smile at this beautiful life...

Quietness...sadness....and loneliness...
It was there all the time...
The only difference was...
I used to enjoy it....
And now so afraid...

The world did not change a bit...
I did.

I never felt lonely....
until someone show me how lonely a person can be...
when you are afraid of it....

You are lonely because you are afraid...
Not because this world is lonely....
This world has been lonely all the while...
The only difference is whether you enjoy it or afraid of it...

10 minutes ago...
I was so afraid...
So lonely I cried...

This minute.....
I can feel this tiny normality inside...

This minute...
The world is still lonely...
But not me.