Insomia

Honestly.
I know the cause of my insomia.

I sleep too much in the day.
I have got no commitment to wake up in the morning.
AND I DUN HAVE internet access until late 3am...that I keep myself awake for it.
And wat else...

That's all.

I am tired with my own odd hours...
I think I need to do something about it.
I dun want to grow old becos of this.

GAMBATE!

Dreamz...

Yes. Nothing new.
I dream again.

This time..is was a little sweet.

I dream that I went out for a drink with THIS GUY I like...
And because he sits so close to me...
I rest my head on his arms...
And in my dream...i saw him smile.

And so...this little episode is happy for me.
In my dream of course.

Just a dream.

14 days...

To my new hair cut.
I am actually nervous by the tot of it.

My book.

I think I am soon able to publish a book on MY DREAMS...at this rate.
I wonder who will buy it.

Strange dreams

I can't help but to write about this dream I have despite the fact that I am eating onto the time i have for the afternoon.

There are a few parts to my dream.

First few part was at a classy old building where I sent my brother off to get marry...he and my sister in law got lost and almost cannot get marry...until the last minute...we run around the whole buidling to search for my sister in law...we found them wondering around the building and send them off to be wedded. The building is very beautiful.

Second part was a call from a job offer...
Telling me...
They will pay me 3 prices according to how many years I stay with them.
$2500 for 1 year
$2700 for 2 years
$3200 for 4 years...
I was still deciding in my dream.

Then on the third part of my dream...which is the fun part...
I was going to get off the MRT train on my way back after the wedding...
Then i saw some friends...and chat with them...
Which cause me to get off the train in a frenzy and forget my bags...
So i hitchhike a TRUCK to go home.
And climb onto the HUGE truck full of GRASS.
and sit on top of the grass...
which was fun!...
BUT...when the truck pass by a roll of tress...
Bird shit starts to drip like rain...
And i got hit by the shit on my head and hands..
EEEEiiK!

Finally after the ordeal...
I reached home with messy hair, torn skirts, and bird shit all over.

Neglected Blog.

I neglected my blog for a while.
As i found a new way to shout out to the world.
Facebook, my new window to my people.

For people to see me...for me to see people.
yet, the blog will always be needed...at times like this when I do not want people to read too much.

Lately, I have been having dreams...
Too much dreams...
I wonder why...
Apart from the fact that I did not sleep well...

I wonder if they meant anything else.

Also...I am looking forward to the new year.
I hope it will be a WHOLE NEW YEAR.
And i will PROCEED.

And do things I love and is HAPPY.
While I think about how I had used up my 2008...
I need to think about how I will use my 2009.

only a little more than 1 month...

Slightly pissed.

I am.
My room is messy.
That is my business.

I never complain when your room is too tidy.
You don't understand how the mess is important to me.
Even if it is an excuse...
And you think I am plain lazy.
I am.

I don't see the reason to explain anything to you.
That is my life.
LEAVE ME ALONE.

And DON't ask me to mop the floor.
It was never my agenda to do so.
I am not your maid.

So pissed off.

The final decision

Is to be honest.
There will be no regrets if I am honest to myself.

And so, I told them how i really feel and hope they can appreciate my honesty.

And so..i can only wait.

A matter of choice...

Now is a matter of choice.
To stay or leave.

Actually, I really would love to try teaching for at least a year or two...
But...4 years...
I need to think.

I need to access whether I can tahan being grounded for 4 years.

I need to think hard.

He is...he is not, he is...he is not...

One moment I really thought he has a girlfriend...
Another moment I am SO convinced he is GAY..

And so, I dun no afterall.

But I do know...
After a nice chat with him...

It is fun to have a friend like him.

Enough said.

Case closed.

A new conclusion...

He is NOT gay.
But he might have a gf.

Sigh...
I shall keep my distance.
My usual style.
And better stick to this
because I dun want to make a fool of myself.

Anyway...
I will be fine.

Simply no way...

Women, we are in constant challange to find the someone
we want to spend the rest of our lives with...
Now...we have a even tougher job to do
before we can tell if someone is suitable...

We need to check if he is gay.

So far...to my knowledge...
There is NO way you can tell if he is gay or not
by their looks or assumptions and stereotypes...

You just have to live until he reveals to you.

Or if you dare to ASK.

For me, I just want to enjoy the company...
GAY or NOT.

My parents...

If nothing goes wrong....

I will cut my hair in December.
And hopefully...I will also know if I get my new job...
I hope 2009 will be a GOOD start.

Strange dreams...again

yesterday...
I dreamt that i queue up to buy a book...
It was a long queue...towards a booth...
And some EVIL book seller is selling some Precious BOOKS...
which cost A LOT...
So when it was finally my turn...
I took out my 20 pounds reluctantly...
and she return me with 10 pounds of coins with some other pennies..
BUT KEPT my bags and belonging...
and say she will return me my bags after i finish reading the book...
I was unwilling...

Then she decided to go for lunch...
I sneak into the booth...and attempt to get my belongings back...
And saw all sorts of strange things in the booth...

I manage to get back my belongings and together with the precious book...
and escape from the booth...

Finally....reach the bus stop to take a bus home.

But realise no more bus...

So I walked.

And woke up.

Strange dreams...

I dreamt that I was at the ATM machine withdrawing money...
I key in ..."1" and money start to come out...
But not only 1 ten dollar came out...but followed by a lot of ten dollars...
And slowing...followed by EUROS and POUNDS...
I collected the notes in stacks...and tot I was going to be rich...
Then the bank staff came...

And took over the money...

:(

Happy Music Trio...

FOUND!

The 3 uncles I saw near Sauchiehall when I was studying in Glasgow 3 years ago...
Their music makes me happy...

I couldn't find a photo...

I remember 3 uncles playing very happy music along sauchiehall street a few years ago while I was in Glasgow....
I remember taking photos of them...but couldn't find it...
I wonder when I took it...

It's Singles Day!

Today...WE...yes we, celebrate Singles day...
You and me who are still single and available and FREE.

And Ironically, I celebrate today alone.

Hellolulu and mac Book Pro!

However...

I will go against all odds for things that i really want to do.
However, if I myself also think it will be a waste of time.
I probably won't hang on too long.

Like my art...
If I think it is time to stop.
Like my hair...
If i think it is time to cut.
Like my love...
If i think it is wrong.

My fate...

I never seem to have smooth path ever since I am back from UK.
This time...like always...I will still go against all Odds....even if nothing will come out of it.
I am just such a stubborn being.

In love with Sole Lover!

Sense of urgency.

I feel the urgency to do something.
But I am still not sure what.
Somehow...I hate to waste my time away...
I need to do something...something....

I need to do something.

It feels like I am solving some case here...

Like a detective...
Or playing with the puzzle...
putting them together piece by piece.

You know about a person...bit by bit.
Here and there.
Piece by piece...
And slowing...the more you know about him...
The more you hesitate about your own feeling...

Actually...I also dunno what kind of person will attract me.
There is no longer any typical.
It could just be anybody.

It is just a feeling.
Until you feel it...

Like the feeling...

Actually...I just like the feeling.
The feeling of liking someone.
It will be more than enough to indulge in the feeling.
Then anything.

Like fireworks...

It is scary.
when you can fell in love so suddenly...
And then...suddenly not the next day.

Like fireworks...fast and loud...
And gone.

What if this is like fireworks.
This time...i wonder what kind of crush i am having.

Facebook

I have never been so frequently checking my facebook like today.
Just because I am waiting for someone to accept me as a friend.

And while waiting...I realise i can upload photos easily on facebook.
And yes...my friends laughed at me...

"sua ku"...she said.

Yah...haha...
I am.

Updates.

According to my spy.

She dun think he is married.
NOT Attached (that she know of)
Not GAY ( she doubt so but actually got no idea also)

And dun think he is a christian.

Looks bright and clear...but BUT..


The possibility of him being a a GAY is TOO HIGH.

Not only my spy thinks he is cute...
Her boyfriend also think he is charming...


I am not against GAY...one of my best friends is.
Just that...it will be such a pity if he is.
He is so charming that even guys like him.
I will not be surprise.
And by the way...he took very nice artistic photos...

But nevertheless...
I still look forward to sing with him again someday.
He is a great KTV khaki.

Kukup. at the fish farm

Kukup, Ohhh jelly fish!

Kukup...Jenga, Jenga...

Kukup, light doodling...

Kukup, sunset...

Things come with a price...but such a sunset...IS FREE.

Kukup, by the sea...

Kukup, the neighbouring houses.

Kukup, just outside the chalet.

Kukup Jetty

Chemistry.

Everytime I meet a cute guy...

The first 3 questions that comes to my mind will be...
Is he married?
Is he attached?
Or is he gay?
That is...morally, if he is married, he is OUT.
And if he is attached....not so bad...but still he is OUT.
Gay?...I am OUT.

Then, after this guy pass the 3 pre-requisite questions...

There comes the "holy" question.
Is he a christian(or muslim...)?
If so, fullstop.
I worship nature, science and humanism...art, philosophy and LOVE.
Not God.
End of story.

However, if he still manage to pull through.

It will be the time when interesting things should happen.

Rationally, if you want to breakdown how a relationship can start,
maybe the above is one way.


BUT!

Things in life do not work according to your rational most of the time...

You can't go out and ask all the guys whether they are married, attached or gay.
They do not have the obligation to tell every woman they met whether or not they are available.
We probably will find it odd
if any guys were to tell us they are available for the first time we met.

And so, it will be impossible to know the 3 answers before we get to know each other.

Soon after you suddenly feel a little light headed...
You no longer have the courage to ask him straight.
Because u will live in denial that...
He could be married...(No!!!!)
Or attached....(WHY??!)
Gay....(Too bad.)
You will be dying to know...
YET dunno who to ask.

If things happen too quickly and u suddenly fell in love...
It will be a dilemma to find out that he could be a christian or muslim...
If u really love this someone.
That is the point where u had to make a decision.

Sounds like some lab testing...which is RUBBISH.

Actually...
there will be more that 4 questions to ask.

It has millions.

Is he kind?
Is he capable?
Is he independent?
Is he humorous?
Is he cute?
Is he caring?
Is he mature?
Is he dependable?

Can he stand my messiness?
Can he appreciate my weird collection?
Can he support my artistic ambition?
Can he change the lightbulb for me?(My strange fantasy)
Can he cycle?(Yet another secret fantasy)
Can he fix a computer?(practical reasons)

What can i do for him?

But above ALL...there should just be ONE question to start with.
Do you feel the electrifying sensation when your eyes meet.

That thing...
we call it chemistry.

Have you ever have such an experience?

That you thought this person is very near you because he has BIG FACE, eyes, noes, mouth....
Because according to perspective...
Things that are nearer to you appear to be larger...
and things far away become smaller.

However, he was actually quite a distant away from me...
yet you find him too near most of the time...strangely.

I wonder why.

3 Questions.

Married?
Attached?
Or Gay?

TOP KTV Song of the weekend for me...

Many apologies to the neighbours who stay around the kukup chalet that i had spent the weekend...
For singing this song with my newly found KTV khaki , on repeat mode at 3am in the middle of the night,with sound system at full blast.