"明天我要去游泳！”

小云打电话给小花。


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小云 ：“ 小花！明天我要去游泳！”

小花：“ 去那里游？”

小云：“ Bukit Batok!"

小花：” 明天什么时候？“

小云：”我想早上，上课前。。。“

小花：”你睡得醒吗？“

小云：”睡不醒...上完课后还是可以游阿。。。游泳池

就在学校对面。”

小花：“你真的会游吗？”

小云：“会！“

小花：“明天真的游了再说吧。。。”

小云：“好！游给你看！”


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第二天早上睡醒。。。

下雨。

世上最好吃的。。。炒米粉～！

琦芸吃饱午餐后，忍不住打电话给二哥，琦城。


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琦芸：“喂。忙吗？”

二哥：“在吃午餐。”

琦芸：“哦。我现在在Bukit Batok。”

二哥：“哦。。。”

琦芸：“我刚刚去吃炒米粉叻！“

二哥：“那摊白米粉啊？”

琦芸：“对～！太好吃了！”

二哥：“味道一样吗？”

琦芸：“一模一样！”


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对琦芸而言，那是世上最好吃的炒米粉。
连她老爹的招牌香菇斋米粉都因为这摊炒的白米粉而只能屈

居第二。


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炒米粉是一种学问。
干炒用油较恨。
油多了，米粉会腻。
炒太干，不够滑顺。
湿炒用水为主。
水太多，会把米粉炒烂。
水太少，米粉没有入味。
好吃的米粉，除了调味，油和水的控制是关键。
要炒得丝丝分明，滑而不腻，入味而不烂，就是一种学问。

一般的炒米粉通常都会炒黑的。
黑和白主要的分别在于有没有下黑酱油。
下酱油炒的米粉除了卖像比较好以外，
下了酱油炒的米粉因为酱油本身的独特味道，
所以可以省略其他复杂的调味和配料，也因此比较经济和普遍。
很多时候，一块钱的黑炒米粉光是炒蒜头和豆芽，就很好吃了。
相比之下，白炒米粉给人的感觉好像就比较逊色。
白白净净的像是没下足调味，一定不好吃的样子。。。
再加上，因为没有下酱油，所以在调味和配菜上就必需更讲究。
像炒新洲米粉的炒法，就是白炒的一个很好的例子。
用油，调味，配菜，都要周到。


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今天，琦芸因为工作回到小时候的老家附近。
乘着中间的空挡，溜出去吃午餐。
走了好一段路，搭了一趟车，好不容易。。。
走回了熟悉的街道。
十年没有回来了，变了很多。
眼看就要到了。
咖啡店好像不一样了，有装修过。
忐忑。
不知道那摊炒米粉还在不在。
拐了弯，看到了。



＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊


琦芸 ：“Auntie，炒米粉。吃的。”

Auntie：“黑的，白的？”

琦芸 ：“白的。加鱼饼，午餐肉。”

Auntie：“要不要辣椒？”

琦芸 ：“一点点。多少钱？”

Auntie：“两块三。”

琦芸 ：“谢谢。”


拿了炒米粉，本来要走了。。。

却忍不住，

回头。。。。


琦芸：“Auntie，我小时候住这里的，后来搬家了。。”

Auntie：“是吗？搬去那里？”

琦芸：“三巴旺。”

Auntie：“哇！那么远。”

琦芸：“是咯， 很久没回来了，今天刚好在附近所以特地回来吃你的炒米粉。”

Auntie：“是吗？。。谢谢”


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吃了一口。
可以想像自己飘了起来一样。。。
周围绽放着莫名奇妙的烟花。
明明大白天的。。。却像在灵魂出翘。

好吃。
太好吃了。
世上最好吃的。。。炒米粉～！！！！！

然后。。。爆炸！


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊


吃完。
满足。
走回炒米粉摊。。。


琦芸：“Auntie，我要打包。”


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人脑 ：电脑

琦芸小的时候很喜欢同时做很多事。
可以一边看电视，讲电话，做功课。。。顺便吃零食。
眼，耳，口，手， 可以同时并用自如。
同时用脑。。
分析电视剧情节，耳朵与肩膀夹着电话听着同学在电话的另

一端讲话，
乘电视广告空挡右手做功课，左手不忘时不时喂自己吃零食。

这种感觉回想起来。。。
不得不感到自豪。
曾几何时，琦芸原来是可以同时做很多事的。
这样的行为被称为。。。
多任务处理也就是传说中的MultiTasking。
想当年。。。
是得意的。

渐渐地琦芸长大了。
须要想的事情多了，要记的事情也多了，
要处理的事也变得更复杂了，做起事情也开始慢了。
到后来，也就是现在。。。
变得无法一心多用。。。
同一时间只能做一件事情。

现在，讲电话的时候，会漏掉男主角刚刚说过的对白；
专心看电视时，听不到朋友在电话里说了什么；
吃东西时，会因为要听清楚别人讲话而停手；
在Facebook写Notes时，本来觉得三更半夜太寂静，
开了itune。。。却在曹格唱了第一句歌词后，
把声音关掉，因为实在没办法专心写作。
听了歌就想跟着唱，唱的时候，就什么也不能做。


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

突然想起那部跟了自己五年的旧手提电脑。
刚买的时候也是很快的。
可以同时放歌，上网，打文件。。。
快，狠，准！
羡刹旁人。

但。。。经过岁月的洗礼。。。
也逐渐变的迟钝。。。
跟不上发展。。。
以前数码相机里头有512MB 就很足够了。
现在，4GB 还会有人会嫌少。
是相机进步了。
以前HardDisk 30GB, 是自己想都没想过会用完的容量。
现在，250GB 的 External HardDisk 都快爆满了。
是资料变多了。
以前上网，开一篇网页来看，如果有图片，不惜等上半小时。。。
喝杯茶，吃个包子后，回来才下载完都没有嫌久；
现在，网页稍微让人等上多机秒，大可不看，看别的。
是网速变快了后，人们也要求更高。

可是琦芸那部可怜的旧电脑是无辜的。

它也不想的。
是科技进步了它跟不上。
经过大小病毒的攻击，身子也不如往常。
满到爆的记忆，丢也丢不掉，还要靠外来记忆帮忙存档。
最重要是，
已经无法，同时做很多事情。。。
播歌的时候，上网会挡机；
在Photoshop时，Window Media Player 里的歌手唱歌会有口吃；
上网看Youtube时，回电邮打字会慢三拍。


老了。。。

却不只是那部旧电脑。。。

买名牌

琦芸当年在餐馆打工认识一位喜欢买名牌的同事。
明知道大家都是辛辛苦苦打工的打工仔，看了不解，忍不住

问。。。


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

琦芸：“为什么喜欢买名牌？那么贵。。。值得吗？”

同事：“值得！！！！。。。名牌叻！”

琦芸：“名牌又怎么样？”

同事：“名牌特别！”

琦芸：“有钱就买得到。。。有什么特别的？”

同事：“你不懂啦，这个名牌是师父用手工做的。”

琦芸：“我的艺术品也是手工做的。”

同事：“而且还是限量发行。”

琦芸：“我的作品通常只有一个。”

同事：“电影《铁搭尼》有作这个牌子被捞起来后还没坏。”

琦芸：“那又怎么样？”

同事：“就是说这个牌子很耐！我想以后可以把它当传家之宝传给我的女儿。。。”

琦芸：“。。。”


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

琦芸只能说人格有志。
但根据琦芸的观察，这位可爱的同事，
每隔几个月就换一个新的名牌包包。
根本没让那个“被捞起来后还没坏” 的名牌展现其耐用性。
再说，最近回去餐馆与同事们叙旧，
听说那位爱买名牌的同事刚刚生了个儿子。

喜欢买名牌，喜欢就说喜欢。
本来嘛，女人虚荣也不为过。
理由太多听起来反而像借口。

承认了。。。

也没什么。

琦芸读完村上春树的《飞机——或他是如何像念诗一样自言自语的》后。。。

这是琦芸读的第三篇村上春树写的小说。
看完，有茫然的感觉。
不是不好，也不是很好。
是不知道他想说什么。


第一篇读的是《象的失踪》，
小小故事，口吻写得平淡如水。。。
却因为消失的是象，
如此的庞然大物而变得令人费解。
六年前看完后，
因为不明白到底发生了什么事，
很快就遗忘了。


第二篇读的是《电视人》，
也是小小故事，口吻更是平淡。
却平淡得令人措手不及。
诡异。
因为，明明就有事情发生，
却好像什么也没发生过似的。
然后，
就在故事里的主人翁
也不明白到底发生了什么事的情况下。。。
故事结束了。
却看不懂。
很不甘心。
上网收集了一点资料。。。
发现自己看不懂的原因。
因为，自己已深陷其中。
也是电视人了。
所以看不懂。
但跳出框框后，才明白这篇小说的意义。


第三篇读的就是《飞机——或他是如何像念诗一样自言自语

的》，
又是小小故事，口吻就是一贯的村上春树。
平淡，甚至还有些罗嗦。
却令人忍不住想看下去。
想知道，这一次，到底又会发生什么。
又或者说，这一次，到底会没发生什么。
果然，也没发生什么事。
就是淡淡的。
令人讨厌的淡淡地结束。
因为琦芸。。。
还是看不懂。
又或者，琦芸是看懂了。
也许这个故事并没有要说什么。
只是一个没有要说什么的故事。

是这样吗？
是琦芸想太多？
还是琦芸想得不够多？

28岁的最后

昨天，小张打电话来。。。

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小张：“喂，明天你要怎么庆祝？”

琦芸：“明天？小姐，我的生日是后天叻！”

小张：“我知道啊。。。我没有要帮你庆祝生日啊。”

琦芸：“那明天是要庆祝什么？”

小张：“庆祝你还是28岁的最后一天。。。”

琦芸：“哦。。。这样也可以啊？”


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊


琦芸其实有一点害怕庆祝生日。
应该说是有轻微的庆生恐惧。
尤其是今年。
不是单单因为怕老。。。
而且也不知道生日的时候应该做什么。

以前生日，通常是跟朋友吃顿饭。。。
回到家。。。家人会买蛋糕。
在唱生日歌的时候。。。
自己还会觉得不好意思。。。
一整天，都会觉得怪怪的。。。
明明就是很普通的一天却还是要把他当成很特别。。。
也没有特别开心。。。
过完生日以后反而还会有一点失落。

自从出国读书以后，每年的生日都在工作。
回国以后，家人都移居泰国。
七年没有在新加坡过生日了。
而且，现在家人都不在身边。。。
突然生日到了。。。
有一点不知所措。
更何况，过完今年生日。。。
就等于正式迈向三十。。。
这一点就没有很令人期待。

小张不愧是琦芸那么多年的老友。。。
简直就是琦芸肚子里的蛔虫。。。
与其庆祝生日，不如帮琦芸过完28岁的最后。

当然，
生日当天还是会跟一些朋友过一过。
有礼物，就收一收。
有歌，就唱一唱。
生活，也不可以太平淡。
偶尔还是要搞些起起落落。

有缘无份，有今生没来世！

琦芸的生命中有一个这样的人物。
琦芸为他取了一个很长却很贴切的外号。
叫他做。。。

“有缘无份，有今生没来世”。

不过为了方便，在此给他一个简称为，“今生”。

故事从7年前开始，友人有意想要介绍“今生”给琦芸认识

，
却在很多阴差阳错的情况下错过了。
隐约记得，本来是四人的约会，
有一次是琦芸有事没赴约，有一次“今生”工作忙没来。
不久，琦芸就去英国读书了。
在琦芸到国外读书的几年里，
还是时不时的会从友人口中听到他的消息。
慢慢地对这个人有了很多想像。
由于由始至终都没见过他。。。

所以给了他一个外号叫 “有缘无份”。

三年过去了。。。
终于回来了。
也终于见到他。
可惜却不来电。

琦芸本着阿Q的精神，开玩笑的对友人说：

“算了，也许真的有缘无份，希望下辈子有机会吧。。。”

友人却给了令琦芸很惊讶的回答：

“他是基督徒。你和他不会有来世。因为他会上天堂。”

琦芸听了。。。

感叹。。。

“没想到我跟他不只是有缘无份，而却还是有今生没来世。”


所以从此以后把原来给他的外号加了下一句，成了。。。


“有缘无份，有今生没来世”。



琦芸了解尊重个人选择自己信仰的权利，没有要勉强的意思。
有没有来世，上不上天堂，要死了才知道。
既然今生有缘，就应该今生聚。
做不成情侣，做朋友总可以吧？


琦芸没有要亵渎任何宗教的意思，却忍不住要感叹人与人之间居然还有这样的距离。

演好自己就好

前几天情人节，电视播放电影《如果。爱》，
电影一开始说了一段很动人的开场白。。。

“每個人的一生就好像一部电影
而他们就是那部电影里的主角
有時候他们会以为自己也是別人电影里的主角
但是可能他们只是一个配角，只有一个镜头
更说不定他们的片段早被剪掉了，自己居然还不知道。。。

”


琦芸也有自己的很类似的看法。。。。


每个人的一生就好像一部电影
而他们就是那部电影裡的主角
当然肯定也会有很多其他的主角和配角，
同时也会有无数无关痛痒的人在跑龙套。
也许有的角色在你的一生中只出现过一刹那，
却偏偏有一些会莫名奇妙的纠缠你一辈子。。。
是主角，配角，还是龙套。。。
很多时候，戏没演到最后，连做主角的自己，。。。
都不知道。。。


总之，演好自己就好。

论地球

有一天，琦芸与老爸在看电视新闻，刚好看到一则气候暖化

的消息。。。
老爸突然问琦芸。



＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊


老爸：“阿妹，你老爸我书读的不多，对天文地理的了解也不深，但我觉得地球暖化和二氧化碳排放量虽然有一点点关系，却不至于会造成像现在这样的全球气候转变的疯狂现象。"

阿妹：“怎么说？”

老爸：“我活了六十年。。。只能说，以六十年的亲身观察，你说有没有可能是因为地球在慢慢地偏离原本的轨道而造成的。如果是这样，我们基本上做什么都没有办法阻止事情发生，却可以为这样的情况做准备。”

阿妹：“有这个可能。。。不过我个人有另一种想法。”

老爸：“说来听听。”

阿妹：“我认为整个过程是一种循环，也同时可能是一种自我平衡的力量。”

老爸：“怎么说？”

阿妹：“ 整个地球在经历的是一个循环的过程。由于我们人类的寿命有限，流传下来的记载与资料也有限，无法真正掌握地球的整个循环周期到底有多长，所以才会对地球不够了解，也没有办法为将发生的“循环过程”做准备。也许，地球本来就会每隔几千年面临这样的气候变化。只是我们无法预测而已。”

老爸：“哪。。。自我平衡的力量又怎么说？”

阿妹：“自我平衡的力量就是每当地球的平衡受到了影响，到了某个极限就会进行自我调整，恢复到原点。这也可能是造成循环的原因。就好像水蒸发了变成云，云遇冷又凝聚成雨，回到河流里去。。。是同一个道理。 是因为环境所造成的循环，也同时是自我平衡的力量的结果。简单的说，就是，道。”

老爸：“所以说，什么二氧化碳排放量，空气污染，其实是不足以让地球毁灭的。。。而是本来就是一个循环的过程。。。”


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这时，琦芸的大哥从房里走出来，忍不住插了嘴。。。


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

大哥：“我们人类就好像蚂蚁，小小的其实一点也没有什么了不起，却自以为了不起。如果哪一天我们把后院的蚂蚁窝一把火烧了，它们也不会明白到底发生了什么事情。也许我们就像后院的那窝蚂蚁。。。以为辛勤工作就是真理，却不知道，自己原来只是真理里头很小的一部分而已。”


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊


三个人的看法表面上虽然不同，却没有冲突。
琦芸的结论是。。。。
瞎子摸象。。。
只不过，这头象大了一点而已。

拔牙记

琦芸今天去拔牙了。
拔牙的时候一点也不痛。
甚至连拔了牙以后的三个小时都不会痛。
还得意了一阵。。。
直到麻醉剂退了以后。。。


牙医是一位看起来比自己六十岁老爸还要老的爷爷。
在拔牙之前的五分中，琦芸就被蒙了眼。
打第一针麻醉剂的时候只是象被红蚂蚁咬了一样。
后来好像还打了几针，
左脸在几分中后麻痹。。。
开始拔牙的时候还很镇定。。。
到后来。。。怕到发抖。
原来拔牙真的很恐怖！
却跟痛不痛没有直接关系。


恐怖的是还有听觉， 明明是不痛，却听到牙医爷爷放进自己的嘴里的电工具，发出的刺耳声音。。。

恐怖的是还有味觉， 明明是没感觉，舌头却隐约的在慌乱中舔到微微的血腥。。。

恐怖的是还有知觉，看不到，感觉不到，却知道，听到，舔到。。。

知道牙医在拔牙，听到牙医在锯牙，舔到自己在流血，知道不痛是因为打了麻醉剂。

这就是恐惧。


牙最后终于拔了。

剩下了无奈地等待着麻醉剂退了以后的痛。
痛的时候其实也没什么了不起，不就是痛而已。
但还有更恐怖的是。。。

原来右边还有一颗智慧齿！

03／02／2009

除夕

琦芸在网上购买机票，发现如果要赶在年除夕回到清迈吃年夜饭，机票会比平时贵很多。
而如果选在年初一回去就相对的便宜。拿不定主意，所以打回家问娘。

琦芸：“ 娘啊，我可以不可以初一才回去？”

娘：“ 随便你，有回来就好。”

琦芸：“因为除夕回去和初一回去的机票相差 $100 多...

娘：“ 你喜欢咯。。。”

琦芸：“ 那我初一回去，还有没有团圆饭可以吃？”

娘：“ 你回来就会给你饭吃。。。”

琦芸：“ 哦。。。我去研究研究。。。再让你知道我会哪一天回去。。。”

娘：“哦。。。”



结果，琦芸买了在除夕的前一天回家的机票。
就这样多付了$100。
付的不是一张机票。。。
而是赶在除夕夜一家团聚。

20／01／2009

修马桶vs琴棋书画

琦芸认为男人最基本的是要会换灯炮。
就有朋友曾经笑琦芸说：“小姐，请问哪个男人不会？”

接下来，就是修马桶。
琦芸的朋友小花自告奋勇，决定帮琦芸做一次市场调查。

结果小花的六个男性朋友当中只有三个会修马桶。
在做市场调查的当儿还被其中的一位男性朋友反问 ：
“你的朋友问我们会不会修马桶。。。那她会不会琴棋书画

？”

小花回答：“弹琴我不清楚，不过拉二胡行吗？”


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

琦芸不晓得修马桶和琴棋书画是什么时候成为正比的。。。
而且还一直以为换灯炮和修马桶这种家居常识是所有男人都应该会的，
就好想女人就应该要会洗衣烧菜。
但又想想，原来就有很多琦芸的女性朋友不会烧菜。。。
反倒发觉很多男生挺喜欢下橱的。。。
那是不是意味着。。。
我们女生。。。
要开始学会修马桶呢？

话又说会来，
琦芸还真的能琴棋书画，
要求男生会换灯炮和修马桶。。。
应该不算过分吧？

两个梦。。。

琦芸今天做了两个梦。

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

第一个，梦到去老师（Miss Tan）的家玩。
回家的时候，走在一条路灯很少的路。。。
后来发现不小心把老师家的枕头拿回家，
所以又走回老师家。
往回走的时候，
路变得越来越黑。。
黑得什么都看不到。
然后，琦芸开始很累。。。很累。。。
累得昏昏欲睡。。。
却又同时觉得害怕有危险，
一直提醒自己要振作，
不可以就这样睡着。。。
奋力挣扎着。。。
却怎么也无法抵挡睡意。。。

慢慢地。。。

醒了。


在梦里睡着的时候，却在现实中苏醒。。。


过了不久。。。琦芸又睡着了。。。


做了第二个梦。


第二个，梦到自己到 Sun Plaza买东西。
在路过网咖的时候，看到自己曾经深爱过的人在里面。。。
却怕他会看到自己。。。快步走开。。。
却终究还是回过头察看。。。
发现他也从网咖追出来。
两人在附近坐下，聊了起来。

后来，顺路一起去搭列车。
是很特别的列车。。。
象一片移动铁板，没有盖也没有门。
列车行走时，风会一直吹乱头发。。。
琦芸和他一起欣赏着列车走过的美景。。。
尤其是天空。。。黄昏微微昏红的那种，
然后太阳渐渐下山。。。由昏红变得七彩斑斓。。。
很美。

然后列车钻进了小路，放慢了速度。
地板变小了。
路变得很窄，
周围的东西变很靠近。。。
有时还需要移动身子来避开树木。。。
后来列车经过了一排排的书架，
琦芸突然看到书架上的一本书。。。

《Tau Fu Girl。。。。。》
书名记不太清楚了。
作者是一个编号。。。98什么什么的。。。

然后，琦芸就问他是不是他写的。。
他点了点头。。。
对琦芸说了一些话。。。
琦芸听完后抱着他
哭了。。。
是很哀伤的那种。。。

哭着哭着。。。

哭醒了。。。

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

琦芸今天做了两个梦。
虽然很不一样。。。
但醒来的方式都不禁让琦芸感到微妙。

17/01/2009
9.30pm

是老妈煮的。。。

琦芸前阵子在facebook找到失散多年的几个同学。

。。
其中，就有两三位在国外，嫁的嫁，工作的工作。
在偶然的情况下，拖facebook的福，与远在他乡的V同学互通讯息。。。
分享了游子情怀。。。

************

（内容经过轻微删减。。。）

V同学：“Hey Qiyun!!!Its been a long time, how have you been? what are you doing now??”


琦芸：“....great to hear from you。。。.i am teaching children art now...How bout you??...”


V同学：“i am in brussels now...working。。。only half a year and i keep wanting to go back home...”


琦芸：“Brussel is nice!...Usually you will only learn to appreciate singapore when you are away...”


V同学：“brussels nice meh?? hahah...its so tiny and boring..yeah..not only i appreciate singapore..i also appreciate my mom's cooking already..haha”


琦芸：“hehe...yes...these will be the days you realise how good your mum's cooking are :) ”


V同学：“eh...my mom cooking not nice one..but should be much better than mine...hahaha”


**************


琦芸与V同学聊完，突然很想吃老妈煮的菜。。。

其实，琦芸的老妈煮的东西也不好吃。。。
但琦芸还是很想念老妈煮的食物。。。

不是因为好不好吃，
而是因为。。。

是老妈煮的。。。

回家。

农历年又要到了。
他乡游子，离乡背井为钱拼搏的人儿们。。。
都会回家。
都说是过年了，怎么可以不回家吃团圆饭。

今年，琦芸也不例外，要回家过年。
虽说是回家。。。却又不是回家。
因为清迈不是琦芸的家。
但琦芸的家人却在那里。
新加坡是琦芸的家，却又不是家。。。
琦芸的家人不在这里。。。

很想回家。。。
但琦芸的家到底在哪里？

有一只必有一家人。。。

琦芸的娘从泰国打电话来。。。


娘：“阿妹，我们家有大蟒蛇叻！”

芸：“哦。。。阿弟（琦芸二哥的昵称）跟我说过了。。。

捉到一条很大的。。。”

娘：“不是那只！。。。那只母的已经被捉走了。。。今天这只公的更大！！！”

芸：“哦。。。我不是说过吗。。。有一只必有一家人，上次那只老婆被捉走了，现在老公出来找。。。那它们一定还有一大群孩子。。。”

娘：“哦。。。孩子早就出来过了。。。上次捉到的几只小蟒蛇就是它们的孩子。。。你记得吧。。”

芸：“那就对了。。。是因为孩子不见了，妈妈才会出来。。。妈妈没回家，爸爸才会来的。。。果然是一家人。。。”


说完。。。电话挂了。

琦芸突然看到一只蟑螂从地上爬过。。。

小强！！！

没翅膀的。。。不会飞。
还好。
就不知道会不会是上次那只飞天小强的什么亲戚。


有一只必有一家人。

果然如此。

为什么不找一个。

最近已经不只一次有人问琦芸这个问题。。。

＊＊＊＊

第一次，是在和两对夫妻一起吃饭时，

A先生：“为什么不找一个。。。？”

琦芸：“你以为是去超市买菜，要找就有啊。。。”

A先生：“你要去找才会知道有没有啊。。”

琦芸：“你又知道我没有找。。。”


＊＊＊＊

第二次，是今天，和L小姐吃饭。。。

L小姐：“芸啊。。。为什么不找一个。。。？”

琦芸：“有啊。。。常常都在找。。。”

L小姐：“有吗？。。。那为什么到现在都没有。。。？”

琦芸：“。。。 。。。”

＊＊＊＊

琦芸不明白大家所说的“为什么不找一个” 是什么意思。。。
难道说，要找就真的会有吗？
一来，是不知道要找什么，不知从何找起。。。
二来，当你在挑人家的时候，人家也在挑你！
最后，以为找到的，也不一定会在一起。。。

真的不是象在超市买菜一样。。。
看上了拿去柜台付钱就可以的。

“为什么不找一个。。。？”

谈何容易。

琦芸的智慧。

琦芸长智慧了。

但好长不长，偏偏长在嘴里。

要说真的长智慧，绝对不是一天两天的事。
智慧齿也是一样的， 不是一朝一夕的。
有的喜欢藏在牙龈里；有的会害羞地露出一点点；
有的会大大方方地长出来扰乱整排牙齿的次序。

琦芸的智齿幸好只是长出一点点的那种。。。
两年前，在看牙医时发现的。
牙医姐姐说暂时不拔也没关系。
但要非常的主意刷牙时要把露出智齿的部分刷得特别干净，
不可以让食物在智齿的凹槽中堆积。
因此，琦芸便从那个时候起。。。
就很勤劳地特别照顾着她那害羞的智齿。。。

这样过了两年，安然无事。。。

但就在昨天。。。

琦芸的智齿突然微微的。。。

痛了。

标准答案。

由于琦芸与S小姐品味有别，
在逛街时，常常要为了给意见而感到困扰。

琦芸不喜欢撒谎，看到不喜欢的，一定会直言。

结果搞了半天，
两人几乎可以说是各逛各的，
很难在逛街这样的活动中得到共鸣。

但有一次，在试衣服的时候，真的忍不住，琦芸还是问了S

小姐：

“好看吗？”

S小姐巧妙的即不违背良心，也不得罪人地
给了一个标准答案：

“很你。”

"This world is beginning to make more sense..."

琦芸和S小姐去逛街。。。
逛了半天。。。
只能说。。。
一点都不过瘾。

原来她们两个不只是看男人的品味有天壤之别，
连喜欢的衣服，鞋子，包包，首饰都不一样。
对琦芸来说设计独特布料裁剪新颖的服饰，
S小姐都会打量后，以一种“难以启齿”的表情来回应。
S小姐每次选了一件心仪的物品，
琦芸看了，都会给以“不要逼我说真话” 的脸。。。

两人心照不宣，早就知道彼此的品味不一样。
但没有想到，可以不一样到这种程度。

琦芸突然对生命又有了新的领悟。。。

原来不管是什么，
再丑的东西也会有人喜欢，
再美丽的，也未必人见人爱。
如果都喜欢一样的，一定很无聊。
就因为大家喜欢的东西不一样，
世界才会变得有趣。

琦芸对于她活着的世界又有了新的理解。。。
在逛完街，分道扬镳前，忍不住对S小姐说了一句：

“This world is beginning to make more sense now...”

各“花”入个眼

即上次乙小姐读了《以退为进》，半夜打电话问琦芸：

“小花。。。是不是我？” 之后。。。


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

乙小姐后来隔了两天，和琦芸讲电话时又再问：

“小花。。。真的不是我吗？”


＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

其实是这样的，小花真的不是在写她。
但作品一完成。。。
就应该有自己的生命。。。
就当是各“花”入个眼。。。
写的人就算没有心，读者既然有意。。。
如果觉得是，就是呗。

如燕

Had a couple of friends including myself who are big fan of Little Nonya...and hence, the lyrics of the theme song....for you to sing along...

词曲：陈佳明
编曲：Terence Teo
制作人：陈佳明
演唱：Olivia Ong

愿意合上眼才能美梦无边
别让悔熏乌了从前

也许碎片才能让回忆展颜
何妨瓷花拼凑明天

谁带我寻获幸福的模
却自己谜中困锁

谁为我留下缱绻的天涯
信物是抹晚霞

Chorus:
思念如燕它飞舞舌尖
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜

意念婆娑时间里推磨
追随到何处才结果

燕如针线在青空缝编
几幅女红将以泪缀点

誓言斑驳情雾只是经过
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜

回答。

＊＊＊＊＊＊

甲小姐读了《以退为进》，问琦芸：

“小云是你。。。小花也是你吗？”


＊＊＊＊＊＊


乙小姐读了《以退为进》，半夜打电话问琦芸：

“小花。。。是不是我？”


＊＊＊＊＊＊


友人读了《旧手机》之后，给了琦芸以下评语。。。

“嗯...不錯不錯，居然可以從日常談話中引申出一番道

理來...
不過怎么你最近講來講去都是男人咧？我還等着jio你加入我們的姑婆俱樂部的說...
因為有幾個錯字...所以扣掉你的*...就給你A吧...哈哈哈”


＊＊＊＊＊＊


不管 “小花” 写的是谁，
都是琦芸想和大家分享的生活经历。
你，我，她的经历。。。
是谁，一点都不重要。

至于友人说琦芸最近讲来讲去都是男人。。。
琦芸想说的是。。。

没错！

但真的只是碰巧而已。

原来如此。

＊＊＊＊＊
小云：“我发觉自从头发剪了之后，我十年前的写作功力慢慢地都回来了。”

小花：“那是因为那些本来要去你头发的营养，都跑回去你的脑袋里了。。。”

小云：“！！！！”

＊＊＊＊＊

原来如此。

跨年。

09年01月01日，刚过12点，琦芸打电话回家问候父母。。。

电话没人接。

琦芸的父母出去玩了。

＊＊＊＊＊

睡醒的下午，电话打来。。。

阿娘：”阿妹！今天没有出去啊？”

阿妹：“没有。“

阿娘：“昨天晚上呢？”

阿妹：“没有。”

阿娘：“为什么没有出去玩？”

阿妹：“我不喜欢出去人挤人。。。而且最后一天我喜欢一个人静一静。“

阿娘：“哦。。。我们这边很热闹叻，又放鞭炮又放烟花。。。
我和你老爸玩到一两点才回到家。”

阿妹：“。。。难怪我打电话回家没人听。”

阿娘：“哦。。为什么不打我的手机。。我在外面的时候也有想过你可能会打来。。。”

阿妹：“不要紧啦，你们出去玩的开心就好。。。”

阿娘：“哦。。。"



＊＊＊＊


其实，琦芸会在每一年里的最后一天在家里过是因为想和家人在一起。。。
所以都会留在家里。。。
自从七年前出国读书以后就已经很久没有和家人一起倒数了。。。
虽然如此，却也习惯了在有选择的情况下留在家里跨年。。。
如今人是回来了
却还是一个人。

2009，祝我快乐。

以退为进。

小云和小花今天去逛街，走累了坐下来喝杯咖啡。。。
边喝边聊。。。

小花：“我真的想放弃了。他令我太失望了。。。”

小云：“他做了什么让你那么失望？”

小花：“不是做了什么，而是什么都没有做，我才那么生气

。”

小云：“。。。”

小花：“我想是时候放弃了。。。”

小云：“以。。退。。为。。进。。。好！就是这样！”

小花：“。。。”


小云常喜欢给小花出溲主意，
上一次的那招钓鱼都还来不及收线，
现在这一次的以退为进。。。
其实也只是死马当活马医。。。

不然还能怎样？

钓鱼 VS 撒网 （Old posting from 2007 march.)

Below was an old posting from 2007 which I tot was interesting in relation to the article 钓鱼 I wrote below...

Was telling the girls about my travel encounters during the gathering last sunday....

And one of my friend KS ask me if i gave the guys i met overseas my contact....

I tried to recall....I only gave out one name card despite the fact that i have a dozen in my bag...

And she point out to me...."不可以钓鱼...要撒网才行..."
She meant...I shouldn't be fishing with one bait and wait...I should be casting my net into the sea and trowl the whole school for one....

That is wisdom of the day for me.
It enlightens me the reason why I am still left on the shelf until now.

It struck me that I haven't been fishing at all...
I don't even have a bait...in the first place...
And the worst thing is...I should be casting a net now if i really want a catch...

But I do know what is stopping me...
I have been observing the fishes around me...
and none give me the urge to cast my fishing line...
not to mention I should be casting a net by now...judging from the urgency...3 years from now and I will be 30...
BUT, I don't want to catch a fish for the sake of catching it...

Meanwhile...i reckon what i am doing now...is more like putting my legs into the water...and let fishes swim by to tickle me.... and see if I like that feeling...

No net...no bait...no catch...

Yet,

I am happy...and so is the fish.

I believe.

钓鱼

小云和小花两个好朋友在讲电话。。。

小花：我想我应该放弃了。他好像对我一点兴趣也没有。

小云：你对他那么好，他一点也没察觉吗？

小花：好像没有。可能他觉得我对他好是理所当然的吧。

小云：小花，钓鱼不是光放鱼饵就行的。。。

小花：哪我还可以怎么样？

小云：要收线啊。。。

小花：收线。。。？

小云是这么的跟小花说的。。。
钓鱼除了要放鱼饵之外，还要懂得在适当的时候收线。
虽然说得头头是道。。。

其实小云自己钓鱼也好不到那里去，
即不会放鱼饵，也每次胡乱收线。。。
从来也没有钓到过鱼。。。

说说而已，谁不会。
钓鱼。。。真的不容易。

旧手机

友人因为工作需要，特别访问琦芸为何还在用旧手机，来做

写作材料。。。
在电话访谈中。。。

友人：你的手机用了几年？

琦芸：3 年。

友人：自己买的？

琦芸：人家给的。

友人：哪有没有想过换新的？

琦芸：有啊，没钱。

友人：现在新的手机已经很便宜了。难道你不希望你的手机多一点功能？

琦芸：想啊。不过，。。。没有就算了。反正还可以用。。。

友人：小姐，你可不可以和平时一样讲多一点。。。你将回答我很难交差叻。。。

琦芸：噢。。。哪你再问一遍。。。


＊＊＊＊＊


友人：你的手机用了几年？

琦芸：用了3 年。

友人：自己买的？

琦芸：之前那个是生日礼物，现在这个是人家给的。我从来没自己买过手机。

友人：哪有没有想过换新的？

琦芸：还好啦，手机只要可以通电话，传简讯，就够了。

友人：现在新的手机已经很便宜了。难道你不希望你的手机多一点功能？比如可以拍照，听MP3。。

琦芸：想啊。。。不过我本来就有一架很不错的数码相机，如果要拍照我会宁愿把相机拿出来拍质量比较好的相片。。。而且现在人人都有iPOD，或MP3 Player。。。，不然就是Nintendo, PSP...手机多功能，拍照不够清晰，听歌不够过瘾，连玩游戏也不够尽兴。。感觉有一点多余。。。

友人：好。。。

琦芸：我的回答你还满意吧？

友人：还有没有什么要补充的。。。

琦芸：平时在地铁里，如果真的闷了，我宁愿看书，睡觉。。。就将。

友人：就是说，你其实一点都不想要有多功能的新手机咯？

琦芸：想啊。有新的，又可以听歌，拍照，玩GAME，谁不要？

友人：哪你刚才的回答算什么。。。？

琦芸：现在这个状况你还不明白吗？就好想找男朋友一样。。。
没有的时候就说，一个人过得自由自在的，逍遥快活，没有就算了，
有了可能还会嫌他多余，反正女人现在独立自主，要什么有什么。。。。
但。。。
如果真的有个男朋友也是不错的，
谁会嫌多一个可以倍你吃饭，看电影，逛街，聊天，谈心的人多余。。。
不要白不要。。。明白了吧？

＊＊＊＊

说完，电话放下。

＊＊＊＊

琦芸看了看自己手上的旧手机。。。

2009

It is the time of the year to think about what i want to do for next year.
I have a feeling 2009 will be exciting.
Somehow, I just cannot foresee anything for my 2009 since all my plans are screwed up...and anything can happen now.
But the usual resolutions are...

1. Publish a book. (Since 1998-preparing mode)
2. Start a website. (since 2004-preparing mode)
3. Do a solo (since 2002...planning mode)
4. Travel more...go diving!(continuation of my backpacking trips...)
5. Have more savings.(Never enough)
6. Have my own home.(Yearning...)
7. Write more stuffs.(Doing well lately !)
8. DO MORE ART.
9. Go study my MFA.
10. *Secret*

On self improvement,

1. Talk less.
2. Less temper.
3. More smile.
4. Drink more water.
5. Lose 7kg.
6. Eat healthier
7. Sleep regular
8. Read more.
9. Learn Yoga, swim and exercise more
10. Take dive master course.


And so the usual.
That's all.
2009 should be that simple.

小强！

是在看电视的时候。。。

突然一只黑影爬过荧幕。
琦芸的第一反应就是在两秒中之内
确定了不明物体的身份。

是小强！

琦芸表现的很镇定
因为小强只是在电视荧光幕上爬。
只是在爬。

琦芸不怕只会爬的蟑螂。
爬来爬去的那种是没有什么杀伤力的。
顶多，琦芸不就站在椅子上叫两下。
等它爬够了，就会不见的。

但是琦芸不敢掉以轻心，继续观察。

爬着爬着。。。展开翅膀。。。

飞！


琦芸马上从沙发跳起来，护着头跑！
边跑还边“啊啊”叫。。。

小强飞了半圈停在吊灯的灯泡上。。。
身体一动也不动。。。
可是两条长长的触角却不停地在摆动着。。。

琦芸这时已经被逼到客厅的一个角落。。。

再飞！

啊啊啊啊啊！琦芸又叫！

这一次飞到了琦芸十秒前刚坐着的沙发！

好险！

又飞！

飞到了天花板。

琦芸赶快跑去开大门。。。希望小强只是迷路。。。
飞走就好。

回过头时，发现小强已经不在天花板了。

不妙！
现在琦芸在明，小强在暗。。。
琦芸跑到厨房，继续观察客厅的情况。。。

不一会儿，看到小强从门边飞出去，
停在门口的走廊。

关门！

哈哈！

搞定！

琦芸继续看她的电视，
坐回刚才的那个沙发。

Feel like going away again...

I feel like going away again...
Go to somewhere far far away...
This time go travel longer and further...
Before I go study...
But where can my money come from...
Do what I wanted to do most...
Go...
Just go!

But bad news...

I am out of love again.
Don't ask me why and who.
Just let me moan for my own sadness...
I will be alright soon.

P.s/ ZJ, this is a secret, dun tell ur mum!..lol

Record breaking!!!!

YES! YES! YES!
I have finally broke my post record of having an average rate
of at least 1 posting per day for year 2008.
My highest post rate since I started in 2004...
As I had mentioned about my post rate in relation to my mood,
high post rate means I am happy.

And so, 2008 could be my happiest year since 2004...

Which is good.

Chocolate? No, thanks.

琦芸忘了是什么时候开始，在很久以前就不吃巧克力。
但在记忆中，很小的时候却好象挺爱吃的。

不是因为怕胖。。。
也不是因为觉得巧克力难吃。。。
只是因为每次吃完巧克力后，
心情会变得低落。
一整天还会很忧郁。
跟朋友们说了，
朋友们都会觉得琦芸是怪人。
人家吃了巧克力很开心，
只有琦芸相反，会变得忧郁。

琦芸也不知所以然。。。
但久而久之。。。
因为每次吃了，就不舒服，
也就变得不喜欢。

虽然，时不时还是会吃一点。。。
想说，也许这一次说不定会没事。。。
最后还是会后悔。

今晚，琦芸又吃了巧克力。。。

冬至大过年。。。

琦芸喜欢搓汤圆。。。
因为好玩。
糯米团黏糊糊的。。。
搓呀搓成一粒粒很有趣。。。
有时还会发挥一下创议
搓一些奇怪的形状结果被娘骂。。。
一家人吵吵闹闹的。。。
煮成一锅汤圆。。。

不过已经很久没有这样子很多年了。

今年的冬至。
琦芸从昨天就嚷到现在。。。
要搓汤圆。。。
冬至。。。
也至少要吃碗汤圆吧。。。
她是这么想的。

昨晚打了个电话给在泰国的娘。。。

琦芸：“娘啊。。。你们搓汤圆了吗？”

娘 ：“有啊。。”

琦芸：“我这里没汤圆吃。。。”

娘 ：“自己煮咯。很容易的，。。。先煮一锅糖水。。。。。

。。。”

（说了一大串。。。）

琦芸：“哦，我会煮了。。明天自己会煮来吃的。”


其实，琦芸并不是不会煮。。。
只不过不想自己一个人煮，一个人吃。。。

不过都说冬至大过年了。。。
总不能就这样的过了。。。
又觉得对不起自己。。。

还是煮了。

一大碗的汤圆，
准准搓了29粒。。。
就煮了一碗。
趁热吃了。

就这样。。。
汤圆也搓了，
也煮来吃了。。。
却好象还是少了什么。。。

Old friend...

There is this guy which I like 10 years ago...
And I get to meet him today.
And he will always call out my name from far when he sees me.

Everytime he calls out my name like that...
I will be reminded that I used to quite like him in the past...
Now that I see him again..
I am still happy.

He is getting married next year..
And I feel happy for him.
Really really...
Wish him happy.

:)

By the way...this is a secret...dun tell anybody ok...

Review of 2008 resolution( (status check in bracket!)

2008 Resolution...

1. Publish books. (Still PLANNING)
2. Start a website.(still PLANNING)
3. Do some good shows(DONE 2 groups..YEAH!)
(solo or group-impt thing is so something I am proud of showing).
4. Apply for my scholarship and if I dun get it..
leave singapore and go working holiday.(JCCI did not open their application in the end for people to apply...and i waited for 3 years...DAMN!give me back my 3 years!)
5.If I get the scholarship, prepare myself to study in japan in 2009.(See point 5)
6.If I dun, go work holiday for a year...and study in europe for my MFA.(Trying to apply now,perhaps backpack europe next year...)
7.CUT MY HAIR. (DONE Just in time last week!)

Things I want to buy...always...

1.A good new laptop with all the functions I need.(MY LOVELY MAC BOOK PRO!)
2.A good camera.(My G9!)
3.A good sewing machine.(Not Yet...)

Personal improvements...

1. Healthy weight loss of around 5 to 10 kg.(Never seem to be able to lose any..)
2. Learn Yoga.(stretching count or not?)
3. Read read read...more books.(Plenty...I read a lot lately..)
4. Watch some good shows.(Not yet...Haven't watch cape town 7 becos kanna fy airplane by 3 friends already...)
5.Cultivate good sleeping and eating habits.(Gets worse! practicularly cannot sleep properly...stomach always feels bloaty...)
6. Stop wasting time.(constantly trying to....)

Mental improvements...

1. I hope I am able to throw away some things which I couldn't bear to throw away.(slowly...but yes...little bit)
Some junks around me for years...which I should let go off...and make myself more mobile.
2. As usual, I believe I should talked less over the years. Talk less...but express more in other forms. Talk less...and do more maybe. (talk less as sound...but flood my facebook and blogs with text...and bombard people with msn chats...sorry folks!..please bear with me)

That's all I think...
I believe I have accomplished at least 70% of my resolution before the year ends...
The incomplete ones are due to unforseen circumstances like...cancellation of scholarship sponsorship...which cannot be control by me...

Things needed to be work on are...

My health,my weight and my sleeping habits...

Things that I really hope to do but did not complete are...
My book and my website...

过了这个村。。。

上一篇说到买东西，就让琦芸想起一年前在清迈和父亲逛夜

市的一个小插曲。。。

就在一开始逛夜市的街口，
一个摆着地摊的小姐，手中还织着毛线。。。
地摊上零零碎碎的摆了几个手工娃娃。。。
每一个手工娃娃都只有一只。。。
琦芸一眼就看到了一只手工编织的兔娃娃，很可爱。。。
兔娃娃拎着小红包包还穿着一条小裙子。。。
才刚开始逛不到五分钟。。。
就看到自己很想买的东西。。。
心中有些不知所措。。。
因为前面还有四公里长的夜市还没开始逛，
就冲动地想要买东西不是琦芸的一贯作风。。。

老爸看出了女儿的顾虑。。。


老爸：“喜欢就买，过了这个村。。。”

琦芸：“我知道。。。可是别的村有别的店。。。”


老爸点了点头。。。父女俩继续逛夜市。


走了很久，看来看去。。
就是没有再看到什么想买的东西。。。
心里一直想着那只兔娃娃。。。


最后，
走到街尾，
又一口气走回街口。。。
远处看到那个卖兔娃娃的小姐。。。
依然默默的织着毛线。。。
心中庆幸。。。

走呀走，终于走到摊子前面一看。。。

兔娃娃。。。

被别人买走了。


琦芸有点失望。。。


琦芸：“算了，也许是有缘无份。。。”（自我安慰）

老爸：“不是有缘无份，是你自己选择错过的。。。
下一次看到真的喜欢的就不要犹豫。。喜欢就买。”

琦芸只能点点头认了。
下一次。。。
下一次会看到那么喜欢的。。。
不知道会是什么时候。。。

喜欢与适合。

工作刚好来到花圃。
本来也没有打算在那里买什么。。。
却意外的看到了一盆植物。。。
浅浅粉红色的叶子种在铜色的瓷盆里。。。
很掏人喜欢。。。
就决定买一盆植物送给刚搬新家的朋友。。。
在花圃走来走去。。。
选了一些。。。
也包括那盆本来第一眼就喜欢的。。。
可是到了最后。。。
买的却是种在灰色瓷盆的绿叶植物。。。
一盆自己从来都没有想过会买的。。。

还了钱。。。
捧着植物。。。
觉得有趣。。。
明明开始就很喜欢另一盆。。。
可是却因为某些原因不适合
最后买的却是它。。。


买回家后还越看越喜欢。。。


人生好象也是这样。。。
有的时候喜欢不一定适合。。。
适合却不一定喜欢。。。
不适合的就千万不要选。。。不管有多喜欢。。。
不喜欢的如果适合。。。不妨考虑看看。。。
也许会因为适合而慢慢喜欢。。。

琦芸是这么觉得。

琦芸昨晚应该做多过一个梦。。。

琦芸昨晚不出所料，又做梦了，而且不只一个。。。
但记得的。。。
暂时只有一个。。。


琦芸和好友，韵，去Macdonald喝东西。。。
是五月天的阿信和石头为韵冲的咖啡。。。
还把咖啡倒进一个石头杯里。。
说这样才好喝。。。
琦芸只是坐在旁边看，
因为不喝咖啡。。。

另一个梦。。。
想不起来了。。。
不过确定还有多一个梦。。。

琦芸又做梦了。。。

即琦芸的老爸老妈回泰国后，
琦芸不只又开始失眠而且又开始做梦了。。。

昨天，琦芸梦到自己走进十年都不曾进过的理发店。。。
想把自己乱剪的短头发修一修。。。
理发店门口明明是写着剪头发九块钱。。。
老板娘却硬要收她$34!
说是因为坐在店里等的时候，有用到店里的冷气！
琦芸很生气和老板娘大吵一顿！

吵到一半就醒了。。。

真的是日有所思，夜有所梦。。。
琦芸还真的很想去理发店修一修头发。。。
但十年了。。。
都没有进去过。。。
有一点怕。。。

听起来很可笑吧。。。

做女人。。。

在与友人甲讲电话。。。

琦芸：“给你选，你宁愿又美又胖，还是又瘦又丑？”

甲友：“又美又胖。”

琦芸：“为什么？”

甲友：“ 胖可以瘦身，丑还要整容麻烦。”

琦芸：“那。。。又美又苯，和又丑又聪明呢？”

甲友：“。。。又美又苯”

琦芸：“为什么？”

甲友：“ 因为男人不喜欢女人太聪明。。。”

琦芸：“所以你的选择是做一个又美又胖又苯的女人？”

甲友：“。。。”



同样的问题，琦芸也问了友人乙。。。



琦芸：“给你选，你宁愿又美又胖，还是又瘦又丑？”

乙友：“哇。。。很难叻。。。”

琦芸：“那。。。又美又苯，和又丑又聪明呢？”

乙友：“可以不要选吗？”

琦芸：“不然这样。。。给你优待，
不是很美却很聪明，和不是很聪明却很美，
你想做哪一个？

乙友：“不是很美却很聪明，不过我知道男人应该会比较喜

欢不是很聪明却很美的。”

琦芸：“。。。”


其实问题本身一点也不难。
难就难在还要考虑男人。
这就是做女人。

头发。。。。。。。。。。。剪了。

琦芸今天回去以前工作的地方看老同事。。。
一进门就看到他们站在一块儿。。。


琦芸 ：“大家！我头发剪了！美吗？

M-Chan: “美！虽然好像胖了，不过也美了。”

琦芸 ：“前面那句可以不用说的。。。”

T-San ：“你怎么剪在我心中都是美的。。。”

琦芸 ：“你对我最好了！”

C-Chan：“当然美啦，早该剪了，年青十岁！”

琦芸 ：“就是回来听你讲这一句。。。哈哈”

P-San ：“芸！！！！你为什么剪头发？太可惜了，留那么多年。

。。”

琦芸 ：“不美么？”

P-San ：“你为什么要剪？”

M-Chan：“芸， 不要管他，应该剪的，不要因为别人的一句话。。。”

尽管如此，琦芸还是噘着嘴有一点失望。。。

回到家，夜里RS刚回国，看到了琦芸短发的照片，在电话里说。。。

RS ：“我还是比较喜欢你长头发。。。”

琦芸 ：“哦。。。”


虽然也一样觉得可惜。。。
也怀念自己的长头发。。。
但该剪的，就该剪掉。。。
要放下的，就得放。。。
再说头发都剪了。。。
反正很快又会留长。。。

只不过。。。
听到有人说出和自己心中一样的可惜。。。
难免也会有小小惆怅。。。

琦芸不会因为别人的一句话而轻易的改变自己的决定，
也不会因为别人觉得自己的决定是错的而后悔，
但总是希望自己的决定能够得到大家的祝福。。。

只是这样。

圣诞礼物

嘉：“琪阿，我可不可以买吃的做礼物？”

琪：“不可以！”

嘉：“为什么？”

琪：“ 圣诞礼物叻！”

嘉：“对啊，圣诞礼物。。。”

琪：“imagine你收到别人买吃的给你，你会不会很

失望？”

嘉：“不会阿，我宁愿是吃的，别的如果不合用不是浪费。”

琪：“吃的吃进肚子就拉出来，一点意义都没有。。。”

嘉：“是将啊。。。”

琪：“买别的啦。。”

嘉：“哦，我明天去逛街看可以买什么。。。真的不可以买吃的啊？”

琪：“不可以！”

原来大家送礼物多数都会以自己认为最想收到什么而去送别人。
最后不如买礼物，送一个给自己。
至于该买给别人的那份。。。
明天逛了街再说吧。。。

Long hair ; Short hair...

I realise the biggest difference between having super long hair and very short hair...
is not about the amount of shampoo I use
or the time it takes for the hair to dry up.

It is not even about the how managable it is,
as my new short hair gets tangled up as often as my old long hair.

It is also not about how long it takes to tie up my hair,
my long hair only took me a few seconds to bun up
and my short hair needs time for me to clip it all over my head...

The biggest difference is...
when I had very long hair,
I cannot feel anything when people touch it,
it is too far away from my head to feel it.
While the slightest touch on my short hair can be so significant
that I simply cannot ignore it.
And I like that feeling.

桃花几时开？

琦芸的老爸是高人，有些朋友已经领教过了。。。
某日，琦芸忍不住问老爸。。。

琦芸：“老爸，我今年到底有没有桃花？”

老爸：“今年。。。没有。”

琦芸：“真的没有？一点点都没有？“

老爸：”没有。“

琦芸：“明年呢？”

老爸：“明年。。。“ （一副认真思考的样子）

按老爸的风格。。。
天机是不可泄露的，
但根据常理，而非相书所言，
老爸是认为自己女儿一点都不积极。。。
所以狠批自己女儿没有桃花运。。。

女儿无奈，反正今年只剩十六天。。。
有没有桃花，日子一样要过，
如果注定嫁不出去，也应该不是一个人。。。
听说会有一群朋友陪她走到最后还会一起看日出。。。
但只是听说而已。。。

琦芸老妈的异想世界。

话说琦芸的老妈不喜欢按牌理出招，常常一语惊人。。。
有一天。。。

琦芸：“ 老妈，最近我常做梦。。。”

老妈：“做梦好啊。。。就是说你睡的很熟， 才会做梦。。。”

琦芸：“是吗？。。。老妈你哪里听来的歪理。。。睡的好

就不会做梦了。。。
是因为没有完全入眠，大脑还在活动，人才会做梦的。。。”

老妈：“你错了。。 。睡的好，才会做梦，没睡着怎么会做梦？”

琦芸：“。。。。。。”

琦芸见老妈说得理直气壮，不忍心辩驳。。。

开心就好。

琦芸与老爸

琦芸难得昨晚乘老妈不回家和老爸聊通宵，天南地北说到天

亮。。。
其中提到以下人生的道理一直在琦芸的脑海里回荡。。。

其一，对与人生的一些执着他说。。。
在他年轻的时候和一位老木匠学做木工，
老师傅用木工的哲学教会他做人的道理。。。

老师傅说：“一根木柴是直的，如果硬要弯就会断。。。，
用火来烧也只能弯一点点。。。
只有把木柴锯断。。
要怎么弯就怎么弯。。。”

老爸问琦芸明白吗？
琦芸想着不清楚是不是真的有完全明白。


其二，对与应付身边的人和事。。。

老爸简短的说 ：“ 打仗就是输赢一盘棋。。。”

琦芸知道自己有时太天真，经验不足常被骗。。。


其三，琦芸问到自己的运程如何。。。

老爸说：”天机不可泄露。。。”

琦芸了解， 泄露天机会折寿。。。

有其母必有其女。。。

老爸老妈在斗嘴。。。
老爸嫌老妈唠叨，老妈说是为了他好。
做女儿的琦芸决定说一个故事给他们听。。。

“有一天，我和琦城（琦芸的二哥）去逛街，他买了一个运

动袋。
我看到运动袋的肩带很短，觉得可能会背得很不舒服
就一直试图一边走一边帮他调整肩带的长度却没成功。。。

琦城不耐烦地说：“你可以不可以不要象老妈一样霸道，
用你以为对的方式来强迫我接受你的看法。。。
我是故意把肩带弄短，背起来才不会重。。。”

我恍然大悟。

虽然是有其母必有其女。。。
却千万不可以变的和老妈一样霸道才行。。。”

舒服与否是因人而异的。
对和错也是。
人往往以为要别人做自己觉得是对的事才是对的。。。
却忽略了别人也有自己的想法。。。
本来是好意却也可能会变得没有意义。。。
被人觉得烦人而已。

老爸老妈听完故事都笑了。。。
也不知道是因为觉得自己的儿女有趣
还是因为真的明白了其中的道理。。。

My lovely hair....

Good bye and take care...

老爸的妙语如珠。。。

大哥结婚快一年了， 不见大嫂有喜，出此下策。。。

阿东是大哥的小名。

老爸：”阿东， 我留胡子好不好？“

哥哥：“要留就留咯。。。”

老爸：“不可以叻。。。

哥哥：”为什么？“

老爸：”没人叫我阿公。。。"

哥哥：“。。。”

为了把阿妹嫁出去。。。

一家人准备喝喜酒，琦芸在想要穿什么。。。


老妈：“阿妹，今晚你要穿什么？”

琦芸：“全黑，配我新买的黑鞋。”

老妈：“不可以！喝喜酒不可以穿得乌漆抹黑。”

琦芸：“我知道，所以我会配红色的包包和耳环。。。”

老妈：“不可以！”

琦芸：“头发也用红绳。”

老妈：“不可以！”

琦芸：“现在大家喝喜酒都穿黑的，比较正式。”

老妈：“不可以！人家结婚不可以穿到黑黑。”

琦芸：“可是我有配红红嘛。”

老妈：“不可以！穿那件粉红上衣配白裤！“


这时琦芸的哥哥说话了。。。


哥哥：”老妈，穿白裤看起来很胖叻，给她穿那件黑衣啦，

看起来比较瘦。。。
要不然可能会错过什么好机会认识什么人，毁了她的姻缘，嫁不出去。。。“


老妈若有所悟。。。过了半响。。。


老妈：”阿妹，去穿你那件黑衣给我看看，还有你的包包和耳环， 我看可不可以。。。“


原来琦芸的老妈是可以为了把女儿嫁出去而放弃自己一辈子坚信的传统的。。。


琦芸对哥哥眨了眨眼。。。心照不宣。

不孝女

琦芸的爸爸妈妈从远方回来要一家三口睡一间房间。。。。
问题就来了。
只有一张床，两个人要睡地上， 谁睡哪里？

琦芸： “老妈。。。你睡床，老爸睡地上。。。我。。。睡大厅。

。”

老妈： “不用啦。。你老爸睡床啦。。你和我睡地上。。。“

琦芸：“老妈你睡床啦。。。给男人睡地上。。。”

老妈：“那你呢？。。女孩子不要睡大厅啦。。。”


这时琦芸的老爸说话了。。。


老爸：“啊妹。。。你就睡床吧， 我和你老妈睡地上。”

琦芸：“我睡床？。。人家会说我不孝的。。。”

老爸：“不要紧，关上门，就没人知道了。。。睡觉！”


没办法，为了让大家可以早点睡觉。。。
琦芸只好牺牲一点，勉为其难，沦为不孝女。。。
想着。。。

”我不入地域，谁入地域。。。“

想着想着。。。

在自己舒服的床上睡着。

I cut my hair!

Yes! I cut my hair.
I suddenly have a feeling if I can bear to cut my 10 years old hair,
There is nothing I can't do from now...

还想看月亮...

琦芸还是不死心...

在雨停了不久后，

傻傻地抱着相机

试图寻找躲在云层里害羞的月亮...

在组屋区里绕了半天...

云是散了...

可是月亮却始终没找到...

微笑的月亮今晚是看不到了...

却意外的发现...

对着她眨眼的星星倒有不少...

加上那雨后的微微凉风...

月亮没笑...

心却笑了...

看月亮

电话响。。。

琦芸： “喂...什么事？”

哥哥： “你在哪里？”

琦芸： “我在MRT..."

哥哥： “快点去看月亮！！“

琦芸： “看月亮？。。你在泰国叻。。看的月亮会一样咩？

哥哥： “一样！。。。地球只有一个月亮！”

琦芸： “我在MRT里面叻。。。underground 看不到啦。。。“

哥哥： “到站了一定要去看...今天的月亮是300 年一次会笑的月亮..."

琦芸： “哦。。。到站了我会去看的。。。拜拜。“

到了站。。。外头正好下着雨。。。

300年一次的。。。

什么也看不到。

：（

Insomia

Honestly.
I know the cause of my insomia.

I sleep too much in the day.
I have got no commitment to wake up in the morning.
AND I DUN HAVE internet access until late 3am...that I keep myself awake for it.
And wat else...

That's all.

I am tired with my own odd hours...
I think I need to do something about it.
I dun want to grow old becos of this.

GAMBATE!

Dreamz...

Yes. Nothing new.
I dream again.

This time..is was a little sweet.

I dream that I went out for a drink with THIS GUY I like...
And because he sits so close to me...
I rest my head on his arms...
And in my dream...i saw him smile.

And so...this little episode is happy for me.
In my dream of course.

Just a dream.

14 days...

To my new hair cut.
I am actually nervous by the tot of it.

My book.

I think I am soon able to publish a book on MY DREAMS...at this rate.
I wonder who will buy it.

Strange dreams

I can't help but to write about this dream I have despite the fact that I am eating onto the time i have for the afternoon.

There are a few parts to my dream.

First few part was at a classy old building where I sent my brother off to get marry...he and my sister in law got lost and almost cannot get marry...until the last minute...we run around the whole buidling to search for my sister in law...we found them wondering around the building and send them off to be wedded. The building is very beautiful.

Second part was a call from a job offer...
Telling me...
They will pay me 3 prices according to how many years I stay with them.
$2500 for 1 year
$2700 for 2 years
$3200 for 4 years...
I was still deciding in my dream.

Then on the third part of my dream...which is the fun part...
I was going to get off the MRT train on my way back after the wedding...
Then i saw some friends...and chat with them...
Which cause me to get off the train in a frenzy and forget my bags...
So i hitchhike a TRUCK to go home.
And climb onto the HUGE truck full of GRASS.
and sit on top of the grass...
which was fun!...
BUT...when the truck pass by a roll of tress...
Bird shit starts to drip like rain...
And i got hit by the shit on my head and hands..
EEEEiiK!

Finally after the ordeal...
I reached home with messy hair, torn skirts, and bird shit all over.

Neglected Blog.

I neglected my blog for a while.
As i found a new way to shout out to the world.
Facebook, my new window to my people.

For people to see me...for me to see people.
yet, the blog will always be needed...at times like this when I do not want people to read too much.

Lately, I have been having dreams...
Too much dreams...
I wonder why...
Apart from the fact that I did not sleep well...

I wonder if they meant anything else.

Also...I am looking forward to the new year.
I hope it will be a WHOLE NEW YEAR.
And i will PROCEED.

And do things I love and is HAPPY.
While I think about how I had used up my 2008...
I need to think about how I will use my 2009.

only a little more than 1 month...

Slightly pissed.

I am.
My room is messy.
That is my business.

I never complain when your room is too tidy.
You don't understand how the mess is important to me.
Even if it is an excuse...
And you think I am plain lazy.
I am.

I don't see the reason to explain anything to you.
That is my life.
LEAVE ME ALONE.

And DON't ask me to mop the floor.
It was never my agenda to do so.
I am not your maid.

So pissed off.

The final decision

Is to be honest.
There will be no regrets if I am honest to myself.

And so, I told them how i really feel and hope they can appreciate my honesty.

And so..i can only wait.

A matter of choice...

Now is a matter of choice.
To stay or leave.

Actually, I really would love to try teaching for at least a year or two...
But...4 years...
I need to think.

I need to access whether I can tahan being grounded for 4 years.

I need to think hard.

He is...he is not, he is...he is not...

One moment I really thought he has a girlfriend...
Another moment I am SO convinced he is GAY..

And so, I dun no afterall.

But I do know...
After a nice chat with him...

It is fun to have a friend like him.

Enough said.

Case closed.

A new conclusion...

He is NOT gay.
But he might have a gf.

Sigh...
I shall keep my distance.
My usual style.
And better stick to this
because I dun want to make a fool of myself.

Anyway...
I will be fine.

Simply no way...

Women, we are in constant challange to find the someone
we want to spend the rest of our lives with...
Now...we have a even tougher job to do
before we can tell if someone is suitable...

We need to check if he is gay.

So far...to my knowledge...
There is NO way you can tell if he is gay or not
by their looks or assumptions and stereotypes...

You just have to live until he reveals to you.

Or if you dare to ASK.

For me, I just want to enjoy the company...
GAY or NOT.

My parents...

If nothing goes wrong....

I will cut my hair in December.
And hopefully...I will also know if I get my new job...
I hope 2009 will be a GOOD start.

Strange dreams...again

yesterday...
I dreamt that i queue up to buy a book...
It was a long queue...towards a booth...
And some EVIL book seller is selling some Precious BOOKS...
which cost A LOT...
So when it was finally my turn...
I took out my 20 pounds reluctantly...
and she return me with 10 pounds of coins with some other pennies..
BUT KEPT my bags and belonging...
and say she will return me my bags after i finish reading the book...
I was unwilling...

Then she decided to go for lunch...
I sneak into the booth...and attempt to get my belongings back...
And saw all sorts of strange things in the booth...

I manage to get back my belongings and together with the precious book...
and escape from the booth...

Finally....reach the bus stop to take a bus home.

But realise no more bus...

So I walked.

And woke up.

Strange dreams...

I dreamt that I was at the ATM machine withdrawing money...
I key in ..."1" and money start to come out...
But not only 1 ten dollar came out...but followed by a lot of ten dollars...
And slowing...followed by EUROS and POUNDS...
I collected the notes in stacks...and tot I was going to be rich...
Then the bank staff came...

And took over the money...

:(

Happy Music Trio...

FOUND!

The 3 uncles I saw near Sauchiehall when I was studying in Glasgow 3 years ago...
Their music makes me happy...

I couldn't find a photo...

I remember 3 uncles playing very happy music along sauchiehall street a few years ago while I was in Glasgow....
I remember taking photos of them...but couldn't find it...
I wonder when I took it...

It's Singles Day!

Today...WE...yes we, celebrate Singles day...
You and me who are still single and available and FREE.

And Ironically, I celebrate today alone.

Hellolulu and mac Book Pro!

However...

I will go against all odds for things that i really want to do.
However, if I myself also think it will be a waste of time.
I probably won't hang on too long.

Like my art...
If I think it is time to stop.
Like my hair...
If i think it is time to cut.
Like my love...
If i think it is wrong.

My fate...

I never seem to have smooth path ever since I am back from UK.
This time...like always...I will still go against all Odds....even if nothing will come out of it.
I am just such a stubborn being.

In love with Sole Lover!

Sense of urgency.

I feel the urgency to do something.
But I am still not sure what.
Somehow...I hate to waste my time away...
I need to do something...something....

I need to do something.

It feels like I am solving some case here...

Like a detective...
Or playing with the puzzle...
putting them together piece by piece.

You know about a person...bit by bit.
Here and there.
Piece by piece...
And slowing...the more you know about him...
The more you hesitate about your own feeling...

Actually...I also dunno what kind of person will attract me.
There is no longer any typical.
It could just be anybody.

It is just a feeling.
Until you feel it...

Like the feeling...

Actually...I just like the feeling.
The feeling of liking someone.
It will be more than enough to indulge in the feeling.
Then anything.

Like fireworks...

It is scary.
when you can fell in love so suddenly...
And then...suddenly not the next day.

Like fireworks...fast and loud...
And gone.

What if this is like fireworks.
This time...i wonder what kind of crush i am having.

Facebook

I have never been so frequently checking my facebook like today.
Just because I am waiting for someone to accept me as a friend.

And while waiting...I realise i can upload photos easily on facebook.
And yes...my friends laughed at me...

"sua ku"...she said.

Yah...haha...
I am.

Updates.

According to my spy.

She dun think he is married.
NOT Attached (that she know of)
Not GAY ( she doubt so but actually got no idea also)

And dun think he is a christian.

Looks bright and clear...but BUT..


The possibility of him being a a GAY is TOO HIGH.

Not only my spy thinks he is cute...
Her boyfriend also think he is charming...


I am not against GAY...one of my best friends is.
Just that...it will be such a pity if he is.
He is so charming that even guys like him.
I will not be surprise.
And by the way...he took very nice artistic photos...

But nevertheless...
I still look forward to sing with him again someday.
He is a great KTV khaki.

Kukup. at the fish farm

Kukup, Ohhh jelly fish!

Kukup...Jenga, Jenga...

Kukup, light doodling...

Kukup, sunset...

Things come with a price...but such a sunset...IS FREE.

Kukup, by the sea...

Kukup, the neighbouring houses.

Kukup, just outside the chalet.

Kukup Jetty

Chemistry.

Everytime I meet a cute guy...

The first 3 questions that comes to my mind will be...
Is he married?
Is he attached?
Or is he gay?
That is...morally, if he is married, he is OUT.
And if he is attached....not so bad...but still he is OUT.
Gay?...I am OUT.

Then, after this guy pass the 3 pre-requisite questions...

There comes the "holy" question.
Is he a christian(or muslim...)?
If so, fullstop.
I worship nature, science and humanism...art, philosophy and LOVE.
Not God.
End of story.

However, if he still manage to pull through.

It will be the time when interesting things should happen.

Rationally, if you want to breakdown how a relationship can start,
maybe the above is one way.


BUT!

Things in life do not work according to your rational most of the time...

You can't go out and ask all the guys whether they are married, attached or gay.
They do not have the obligation to tell every woman they met whether or not they are available.
We probably will find it odd
if any guys were to tell us they are available for the first time we met.

And so, it will be impossible to know the 3 answers before we get to know each other.

Soon after you suddenly feel a little light headed...
You no longer have the courage to ask him straight.
Because u will live in denial that...
He could be married...(No!!!!)
Or attached....(WHY??!)
Gay....(Too bad.)
You will be dying to know...
YET dunno who to ask.

If things happen too quickly and u suddenly fell in love...
It will be a dilemma to find out that he could be a christian or muslim...
If u really love this someone.
That is the point where u had to make a decision.

Sounds like some lab testing...which is RUBBISH.

Actually...
there will be more that 4 questions to ask.

It has millions.

Is he kind?
Is he capable?
Is he independent?
Is he humorous?
Is he cute?
Is he caring?
Is he mature?
Is he dependable?

Can he stand my messiness?
Can he appreciate my weird collection?
Can he support my artistic ambition?
Can he change the lightbulb for me?(My strange fantasy)
Can he cycle?(Yet another secret fantasy)
Can he fix a computer?(practical reasons)

What can i do for him?

But above ALL...there should just be ONE question to start with.
Do you feel the electrifying sensation when your eyes meet.

That thing...
we call it chemistry.

Have you ever have such an experience?

That you thought this person is very near you because he has BIG FACE, eyes, noes, mouth....
Because according to perspective...
Things that are nearer to you appear to be larger...
and things far away become smaller.

However, he was actually quite a distant away from me...
yet you find him too near most of the time...strangely.

I wonder why.

3 Questions.

Married?
Attached?
Or Gay?

TOP KTV Song of the weekend for me...

Many apologies to the neighbours who stay around the kukup chalet that i had spent the weekend...
For singing this song with my newly found KTV khaki , on repeat mode at 3am in the middle of the night,with sound system at full blast.

Wild dreams...

Eversince I was a kid...
I never stop having stupid ambitions for my life...

Here are a list of stuffs I can remember.



1. Work in the post office.
Because I like to use rubber stamp to stamp on stamps.

2. Work as bus assistant.
To take care of the school children safety.
Because of the handsome bus driver.

3. Be a teacher.
Because I was grateful to a lot of great teachers.

4. Be a ballerina.
But realise I cannot grow any taller than 1.57m
and had to give up.

5. Be a lawyer.
I am quite a talker since young.
Still a talker now...but not a studious person.

6. Be a pyschologist.
I like to observe human behaviours.
And find out more about them...but realise you need to learn calculus...

7 Be a mathematician.
I love doing interesting maths questions.
I almost thought I am a genius.
Turn out that i am not.

8. Be an Er-hu performer..
Give up...because I found something I like better.

9. Be a painter...
Inspired by my secondary school art teacher.
later, I realise I can't paint that well either.

10. Be a writer.
Still writing..just that not many people is reading.

11. Be a sculptress
Still trying to be...but not easy.

12. Be an script writer.
Hmm...enough to have stories in my head..
And fantasize about it.

13. Be a professional diver.
When I have money..I will take my dive master course!
I love the sea.

14. Be a poet and philosopher...
Is one ALL THE TIME.
I AM GLAD.

15. Be a singer.
In my own bathroom. I am. Also in KTV.

16. Be a boss.
Open a studio or art space...or some cafe...when i got money.

17. Be a web designer.
Learning the rope now to earn a living..and quite enjoy it.

18. Be a video artist.
Done that...still want to do more.

19. Be a computer expert.
Haha...i am quite obsess with making myself tech savvy.
So that I can perform my task with ease.

20. Be someone's girlfriend.
Done that too...have a bit of fear to be one again.
But still yearns to be one sometimes.

21. Be a FULL TIME ARTIST WHO MAKES A LIVING doing things I love.
VERY HARD...but not impossible.

22. Be a wife.
Of someone I love who also loves me..
Very hard...probably as hard as being an artist.
And if I only have ONE lifetime to choose only one thing i can achieve...
It will be VERY VERY HARD FOR ME...
It might or might not be even HARDER than being an artist.
Unpredictable and clueless.

23. Be a mum.
Level of difficulties depends on unwed or wedded...and/ or if a father is needed.

24. BE HAPPY.
Ultimately...whatever I want to do...
is all because of wanting to be happy.

And so...
I always only want to be happy...
regardless of what I want to be...
As long as i am happy.

I have 2 external HHD.

2 of them adds up all my back ups of 200GB..with some spare spaces.

One of them is an NTFS...80GB

Slightly anti-social towards my mac...
Only can read...but cannot write.
But no fear!
I brilliantly ( and so I thought)...downloaded Macfuse and NTFS-3g...
To enable my mac to read and ALSO write on this drive...
Wala...I am SMART!

Another is a FAT32 drive...120GB

Which means it can be read and write on both mac and PC..
yet gives me the most problem...
Because it HANGS MY MAC!
DAMN!...my brother was laughing at me...
because I was telling him how great my mac was...
until it hangs...

and so..what to do...
I rang up Apple Care...
and spoke to a sexy british accented tech for help...
My disk seems to have a failure and needs repair...
which also involve reformating.
Meaning TO ERASE EVERyTHING.

I now had to transfer 90GB of stuff to my desktop...
which in the past an unimaginable task
with only 20GB HHD on my NEC...
Now only need 3 hours with my MBP.
Yet now...with my 200GB of HHD now on mac...
It is almost filled up just one month after I bought it...

i can only say...
I probably need to buy 500GB of back up soon.


Can you imagine computers only comes with 30GB of HHD like 5 years ago..
And that is consider ENOUGH.
200GB now..is like..HELLO MY HHD IS FULL.


CRAZY!
I will not be surprise that i might need 1TB of HHD soon.
1000GB = 1TB

We better get cosy with to this term now..TB = terabyte = 1000 Gigabyte
Just like having 1GB file was a HUGE thing a few years ago.

1TB is going to be a norm soon.
You mind my words.
I am dead serious.

Apple Cares...

Apple care is the customer service which you might want to buy for extra apple support.
While i already had a few experience with calling them up...during my free trial.
I actually enjoy calling them.
Somehow, they will try to solve my problem.
At the same time try to treat us like really LAYMAN.
Which is GOOD.

So far, I had conversation with an operator with INDIAN english accent...
And the other with rather strong Scottish or british accent...
Which I find amusing...

I wonder who I will speak to the next time.

Oh by the way..
To purchase Apple care...
Which only comes in 3 year service is not cheap...

$629


And so...
I shall call APPLE CARE every on and off to solve all my tech problem before my
90 days trials expire.

To able myself to be geeky enough to solve any problem and learn as much
so that i do not need tech support after 3 months.

I just have to do it!

Ouch!

I was eating my favourite char beehoon for breakfast...
And was so ready to bite into the luncheon meat...
And Ouch!...
I heard those cracking sound...
And the taste of metal...seep deep thru my nerves...
I have bite too hard and onto my fork which was crooked...

My front tooth was chipped.

Which is annoying each time my tongue licks it.
The more annoying...the more you felt like licking....
And it feels so bare until...
I feel like i am milimetres from my nerves...
The chipping of mt tooth has added my tooth sensitivity...

The funny part was...
the chpped off part was no where to be found...
Until I was chewing on my luncheon that i realise it was inside.
I eat up and chew my chipped off tooth together with the luncheon meat.
I knew it when i heard the cracking sound when i chew it...

Until now...
I can feel the razor sharp edge of the chipped corner of my tooth...
And the sensitive to nerve sensation it is causing...
On top of my already very sensitive teeth.

Some kind of experience for the day.

NOT CREATIVE!

Yes, I am NOT CREATIVE.
At all.

Because I am not...in terms of creating 2D image.

I realise that long ago.
I can't draw.
I can copy.
I can imitate.
I can observe and interpret.
But i can't draw or paint out of nothing...

I just cannot.


Luckily I am a 3D artist.
But then again...
What can I do in Singapore studying sculpture?

It is not difficult making art.

It is difficult to practice full time to make a living.
On top of the fact that I am not creative...

Plus..I am not a too ambitious person to be initiative.
Future has never been so bleak...

I NEED TO THINK.
I NEED TO WORK AROUND IT.

CREATE!

I need to create opportunity for myself to make art.
I need to create the environment.
I need to create the chance.

I need to make myself make art again.

Or else I will be a useless human being who reads, sleep and eat..and listen to music.

I love doing nothing...
But I also understand that doing nothing now...
will be disastrous for me in the near future...

I had to think ahead...

Life is precious...

And so...I remember...
Even at that moment of my life when I felt so painful...
I really almost believe pain can kill.

But never a moment...
I would want to end my own life.
Maybe I am too afraid to just die.
Maybe there are too much things that i want to do...

It is too easy to just die...
Because the dead is DEAD.
There will be no heaven or hell...
Only people who are still living...
are left to cry...

NeoOffice VS OpenOffice

I have been using NeoOffice since i bought my MBP.
Because Openoffice requires X11 to run on Mac.

But the new release of OpenOffice 3.0 allows it to run natively on Mac.
And Wala...I now have 2 OFFICES on my Mac FREE...
Keeping both as i am still observing which is better.


And so..after some using experience..

i would like to draw some tiny conclusions so far.

I had experience using openoffice when I was on PC...
I remember I had the same problem of having messed up alignments for my resume.
Only a Little.

And I had the same problem for my Openoffice now.

As for my NeoOFFICE...everythings looks clean and aligned.

Although OpenOffice boost more features than NeoOffice...but the fact that it is not totally smooth in translating my documents is one major setback.

I would rather use NeoOffice with enough basic features and comes clean opening MS documents.

And so NeoOffice WINS!

Technology reflects humanity.

The more I wonder into the realm of technology...
The more i feel that technology is not about gadgets and parts...

It is about human activities and abilities.
It is a larger social circle of human activities view from your computer LCD.
It is a giant reflection of what human beings are capable of doing.

For years, Microsoft and Apple's rivalry had pushed technology to strive...
And yet hinders improvements ironically with incompatible platforms...
But humans are humans...
Where there are rivers...you see a bridge.
We know that there must be a way to be at the other side of the river..
Swim over if you have to...
But people are smart enough to realise that to build a bridge will benefit everybody.

And so...this lesson was observed and learn through eversince I crossed the platform.
I swam over to Macland.
But since...I miss my buddies over at PC.
While the river of incompatibility...runs.
That is where I find ways to cross over to see my friends...
I shouted over to say hello...
I convert my WMA to MP3...
I Throw stones wrap with letters...
I downloaded Openoffice...
I even start to build a boat in the hope that i can roll over whenever I am free...
I download MacFuse WITH NTFS-3G to enable yourself to have read and write access to NTFS format of WINDOWS...from my Mac...

But my greatest wish...
If only we can build a proper bridge...

陳淑樺-滾滾紅塵

陳淑樺 <<夢醒時分>> MV

苏芮(蘇芮) 跟著感覺走 MV

Timeless!

Sleeping disorder...

Yesterday night...I sleep at around 2am..woke up at 8am.
Then...sleep at 9pm...and woke up at 4am...
which is now.

What a crazy world for me now.

Expose and Space

Is the new feature I tried to explore last week with my MBP.
And it is whole lot of fun when you get the hang of it.

Something to take note about Expose and spaces...
Most guidebooks and webpage say "use F8 and F9" to call out the function...
But in actual fact you need to add the FN button to F8 and F9 to achieve the effect as the recent models of MBP used F8 and F9 keys as "play" and "Forward" shortkey for your media players.
I only learn about this after reading through information online that discuss about short keys.
If not most guide websites will not mention this.

Can you imagine how the world will end?

First of all, to discuss about the end of the world does not mean I believe in God.

As RS casually commented that I finally believe in end of the world..implying believe in God. Which I am annoyed by the implication because natural science was not respected and so is FREE THINKING...at the same time human ability to speculate and think is unfairly ignored.

The end of the world is a hypothesis derive from observation of present situation of how human activities are causing damage to Earth...and some other freak accidents... that could be the ultimate cause to the end of the world.

1. Climate upheaval. Freak weathers that kills millions...
Eg. Earthquakes and Tsunamis, volcanoes eruption.

2. Environmental contamination.
Air pollutions, Food contamination, Pesticide poisoning...

3. Religious Killing.
ANY KIND OF RELIGION divides people.
Because when you are A...then someone else who is not will be NON-A.
This will cause discrimination, division and suppression.
People who are A will think they are the only truth...and forces Non-A to comply.
WAR.

4. Viral attack.
Human flu, avian flu, ebola...biological warfare....

5. Used up resources.
Not enough fuel, food.

6. Cosmic accident.
Some stones from galaxy hit earth.

7. NANO-tech achieve perfect nano-asemmblers and disassemmbler...
And could reduce earth to GRAY GOO state....in 72 hours.

I can't predict when it will occur...
But I have a mix feeling about whether if i want to see it happen in my life time...
Not as if i can decide...
Just something for a thought.

By the way...

Did you see the promotion for the old Mac book pro!
*@$^^&%%#$@%^%@!!?!
It is $170 cheaper now...

But what to do...
technology is just going to be cheaper and faster by days..
And we just have to buy one when we need one.

And so I can't wait...

Wait till 4 or 5 years later when i get my hands on a more powerful and cheaper baby...

In 4 years time...
2012...
Will be the time when Moore's theory speculated that
computer tech will reach it's limit at atomic level...
By then....
I wonder what interesting thing will happen to info technology.
Till then...

Will be the time for my next computer.
I look forward...
And BEYOND!

Let the world past me by...

Finally, my big brother has grown up
to become a person who knows how to apreciate simplicity in life...
As so...he might argue...he was like that in the past as well...
But he was much more ambitious like a headless fly in the past.
Now, he learns to enjoy simple life.

And me, I will always morn over my wasted 3 years in Singapore since 2005.
I have wasted my youth here thinking I will find a way here.
As time goes by,
It seems...either i find a job and be like all other singaporean...
Or leave.

I love singapore.
Unlike how my brother hates her...
I love her...my motherland.

But Singapore has fail to give me the environment I needed.
I will leave when I can.
As soon as I can...

Meanwhile, I will morn over my wasted days, months and years here...
I should have been more ambitious...
But I know myself...I never will be.

For that is me.
Maybe simple life is really what i need...
But freedom does comes with a price tag...
Like what my brother say...

And life...
You gain something...you lost some...
While i morn over the lost of my 3 years in singapore...
I can only say...
I have enough rest here for the past 3 years as well.
And enough means enough.

Time to move on.

Discontentment of a contender...

I always pride myself to be an easily contended person.
But on some occassion, I am not.

And here is a recent wish list I compiled for my discontentment.

1. ADOBE CREATIVE SITE 4 MASTER COLLECTION.
2. If not above, at least FINAL CUT STUDIO 2.
3. FULL 24 hours a day internet access.
4. A fully equip house with art studio and nice working kitchen.
5. A well paid part time job that allows time flexibility..UNTIL my art can support me.

1,2 and 3 is not too big a problem...but a notable amount of money is required...
4 and 5...is an even larger figure which is a matter of decade to fulfill...

If I give up and decides not to be an artist...

1,2,3 and 5 will be solved...
Left with 4...
And with a new discontentment.
Unhappiness.

By hook or by crook.
I need to do something.

Aloe Vera...

To me, this is a super plant that everybody should have one in their garden.

It is yummy and edible ( the common species),
Easy to Grow ( Dun require too much watering like the cactus),
Antiseptic ( which can apply to minor open wounds)
Soothing( if you have sunburns)
Beautifying ( Apply to your face like a mask, helps tighten pores and kills acne)

Ahh...and I had one now.

Happy.

Bakwa is the culprit.

The GIANT ACNE on my face is not only painful...
but also strategically poise in the middle of my cheek...
So much so that it is almost impossible not to notice.

And THAT IS NOT ALL...
I have like 4 or 5 acnes..
annoyingly gathering around my forehead as well.
And Painfully.

After some serious reflection over my diet and living habits...
I have concluded that BAKWA could be the culprit.
Because the last time I had such outbreak...
I somehow also remembering eating them as well.

Of course my crazy sleeping disorder most probably could be
one of the contributor to my plight.

As for now...
I just hope...
Sunshine after rain...
Smooth face after Acne.

What to do.

Unbearable...

Unbearable...

It seems like you are being locked up and not even allow to open the windows.
It seems like you are banned from calling your friends.
It seems like you can't make calls to them.
It seems like you will not know what is happening to the world outside.
It seems like the world past you by without you participating.
It seems like you will be forgotten anytime.
It seems like you are not allow to speak, express and comment.

It is just unbearable ...
So unbearable not to have access.

The lovely internet.

The comparison.

Here is a pic I found online to compare the new MBP and old...

If You are free this weekend...

If you happen to pass by Cityhall area...
You may like to drop by The Esplanade to check out my new works...

Special apology to LQ.

Opps Sorry...
I can't help but blog about my Mac.
Please bear with me until my Mac Hype is over..

Meanwhile...I will try to talk about other things
whenever I can.

Aimless Life...

I need a job soon.
Not that I do not enjoy my current carefree life...
But I do not like the idea of my depleting bank figures...
So low that it has hit an all time low...
And I actually have expenses to come in December
when my parents come back to SG in December for holidays.

I can starve and eat less...
And scrimp on myself...
But not my parents.
I have the responsibility...

Being so broke that i am not even willing to travel unneccessarily.
Or eat out.

I need a job soon.
Anyone has lobang?
PArt time jobs?

Mac Book Pro Overheating and wrong battery life indication-MYSTERY SOLVED!

Suddenly, I notice a dip in my MBP's battery life.
From fully charged of 5 hours to fully charged of 2.3 hours.
Which is SCARY!
And the all time noticeable overheating of my Mac recently.

I became a bit paranoid and read up over these issues.
Apparently, my MBP heat up for no reasons while others is because
they are using it intensively...

I install iSTAT which is a very cool feature
for my dashboard to check my MBP's overall health.
To my astonishment...
My MBP is hovering at 78 degree celsius
when i was only reading some article online...
WITHOUT ANY OTHER APPLICATION RUNNING.

I am pissed.
This MBP is only 1 month old.

I couldn't undertand why my MBP can heat up to 78 degree Celsius..
when it is not doing anything except for opening
ONE FIREFOX WINDOW to read articles for apple support.
My MBP reach 78 degrees in less than 10 minutes after switching ON.
And...the strange thing is...
system IDLE at 50%

I am not doing much...not even listen to itune..
But is already using 50% of the system???

I am determine to find out why.

After reading all the articles regarding battery defects and overheating..
I am convinced my MBP is not perfect.
I have decided to call APPLE first thing at 9am.

But but...before that...since i couldn't sleep in the middle of 5am.
I begin to play around with my iSTAT.....
The application that shows temperature and performance of my MBP.
I make some new configuration to display processes of application...
and...

HMM....something strange showed up.
My canon ip5200 showed up...and running at 98%???
Huh? since when is my printer printing?
It wasn't even plug in.
I open my printer in finder and found that I had a print error on RUNNING mode
on my MBP since a monday...an article which i din print becos of a print error.
It was left opened.
UNTIL NOW?!

which explains why my MBP runs 50% even when IDLE
and heats up to 78 degree C in less than 10 minutes...

I cancel the print job and close my printer application...
Immediately...
in less than a minute...
My MBP's temperature drops...
It used to hover round 77...and stays there
It is 72 after a few minutes...
And finally rest to a comfortable 54 degree celsius...

And another miracle happens.
My battery life...showing 2.44 hours when fully charged...
mentioned earlier on...
JUMPED! to 5.3 hours like it used to.
WALA!

2 problems solved!

Though I am still a bit puzzled that the printing error
was not cancelled after shutting down...
I am glad there is nothing wrong with my baby.

AND SO...
Mystery is SOLVED.
Weird battery Indication and heating issues are due to
Unattended printing error that is left opened.

False alarm.
But learn something YET AGAIN!

Old vs New MBP

The introduction of the new mac book pro did waver my love
for my newly bought but listed "OLD" mac book pro.
Because, if for the same amount of money can buy a better laptop...
WHY would I have bought a "OLD" version just 3 weeks ago.

Fortunately...
All the statistics and report of the new mac book pro...
Shows that I made a right choice.

First of all,
I do NOT like the new GLOSSY screen.
It is actually a glass screen.

Though I really like the unibody features...
But it did not make the new mac book pro any lighter...
in fact heavier though insignificantly..
as for size...

The New MBP is actually larger in base size,
and only 0.05 inch thinner...
0.05 inch is like..
PLEASE...you won't notice the diff unless you measure it.

Of course the new MBP has lot of upgrade in many ways...
And I love the new GREEN notebook concept..
PVC and Mercury Free...

However, for the same price...
I can only afford what i have now..
for the spec I need.

I can't ask for more.
I can only love what i have now.
And I do.