About my scholarship...

This scholarship that I got...came as a weird surprise and accident.
I was told that I will know the results in July. And so...since I never hear from the school I already forget about it long ago...then...one day, I receive a letter telling me..."Thank you for applying....blah blah blah....sorry to inform you that your application is UNSUCCESSFUL..."...but 2 days later i receive another letter to say that the previous is an ERROR...and congrats me for getting the scholarship....

Back 2 mth ago when i hand in my application, I was told i can send in application for 2 scheme....one of the scheme i choose was actually outdated...it was on last year but this year that one is no longer offering a scholarship...so the welfare guy help me browse thru the info and search for another scholarship which is eligle for oversea student....and we just tigum and choose another one...

And so...the scholarship I got in the end...is that one he tigum...and we choose last minute....

So...I concluded...I have to thank him!

I have been thinking....

Maybe i think too much. But I can't help thinking.

Drama addict

Recently, I have a strange habit to go home and watch 2 episode of korean drama on my laptops before i go to sleep...it's like my life is not drama enuff and I had to live in other dramas to make my life more dramatic.....well...maybe I am just bored.....something should happen...i tell myself...like some kind of romance or drama.....or else i will have to live in someone elses romance and drama......on my laptop....this is so unhealthy!!!

Lastest update!

I was laughing on my way to work yesterday becos i receive a letter from my school to inform me of a scholarship I got!..YES! I got a scholarship AGAIN!...I always do....whahahahaha...I know i sound proud because I AM...maybe my results are not somethings to be proud of at the moment....but my will to continue this bizzare DREAM is going to go on....no matter how hard my life is......and finally...I am glad that the school sees an artist of me...more than a student by simply awarding me this scholarship based on my financial difficulty and not results......
And so...my struggle stops the moment i open the letter yesterday morning....however another struggle is about to come because i am suppose to hand in my essays next week...which i dun noe how i can do it because I am holding 3 jobs now...which i have promise to work last week without knowing i am going to be rich this week!

About the weather report....

Yahui says that rain, rain and rain....sounds so sad....indeed....however to me rain is more romantic than sad...or maybe the idea of being a litlle sad is quite romantic....ah watever...too confusing.....bottom line is....Glagsow is raining. That's a fact.
Perhaps a little sad...but so romantic.

Weather report...

Rain and rain and rain and rain.....

Mental Block

I have been having mental blocks for the past few days...trying to blog...not becos I have nothing to write but is having difficulties to express...it is either that my english has become worse or my thought has become too complex for my limited vocab and grammer to express...
I dun like this kind of feeling.

090804

Dream a little dream...

I dream that my relative send me an air ticket to go home...on the 17th August....I wonder if this dream got any special meaning.....

050804

Lady's fingers....

Yesterday...I was sooo lazy to get up of my bed that...I actually start to chew my fingers becos I am hungry...

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My food supply cabinet... 

Ohh...baby hotdogs....yummy! 

OOOuchh..!

I am suffering from serious muscle ache from my bums right down to toes...so serious I walk like some old lady with rheumatism....simply becos I played badminton yesterday...
It only shows that I have not been excercising....since..I dun noe when.....I guess I really need more exercise...and..I really crave for a swim by the way..... as for the muscle ache...according to past experience, I suspect I just have to suffer a few more days....

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ToP TeN WiSh LiSt...

ToP TeN WiSh LiSt...

Apart from the fact that a handsome rich boyfriend is always the number one choice in my wish list with a 10-star rating...there are actually a lot other things that my life is inadequate of at this moment...

* ---------------- Can survive without it..
** -------------- Think I Can survive without it...but not nice lor...
*** ----------- Better do something about it...
**** ---------Dun noe can tahan until when...
***** ------ Kill me please!

Black shoes...I have one which I bought 8 month ago...was so torn and tattered that my supervisor always take more than 2 glances at it...and the worse thing is...water gets into my left foot when it rains ...the right one is actually ok...
Rating : **

Waterproof windbreaker.....my orange windbreaker which is suppose to be waterproof ...prove me wrong by making me soak with rain one day when I wore it...I guess it is time this windbreaker retire and rest in peace....however no potential new jacket can replace it...
Rating : **½

Detergent...running out in 2 days time which I already have been imposing strict ration of using it in the most diluted version I can make it....have been living with oily cutleries, pots and glasses.....
Rating : **½

Shampoo...using up in one week time....this is really already a miracle...considering the length of my hair if you know me in person...however that big bottle of shampoo I brought with me from Singapore manage to last me until now...what can I say...
Rating : ***

Sugar...this might seem very unimportant...but it is running out in one week time...I actually need sugar in almost everything I eat....not those VERY SWEET type of sweetness...but that kind of vaguely sweet feeling in the food that keeps me going and feel happy...so yah...sugar please...
Rating : ***

Milk.....no amount of other things can replace the importance of drinking milk everyday...however...I have not been drinking milk since I quit my last job 3 weeks ago..that job allows me to drink milk for free...(not as a milkmaid in case you wonder....just a waitress)
Rating : ***½

Fruits...this is vital...becos I can feel my vitamin C draining off every second...and is tempted to chew on my Vitamin C pills to keep myself healthy since I cannot afford fruits in my shopping list....however...I shouldn’t becos those pills are really for my rainy days in case I fall sick...and ohh...those strawberry and apples in TESCO and Sainsbury....I really CRAVE for them...
Rating : ***½

One full time and one part time job...this one is just becos I need to pay rent and school fees...nothing interesting..I have already got a part time but it din manage to feed me becos it is low season and not job assignments to feed me...however my only dilemma is I am not available to work until August...although the fact that I am going to be broke in 2 weeks time makes this wish very important...however I am confident to find a job anytime....so that’s about it...
Rating : ****

Broadband Internet connection....One year ago I would laugh at this point because I dun used to think internet is essential...or maybe it is still not...but I simply need it because of the subject I am researching on for my essay as well as my project for my studio practice...Internet connectivity has somehow become a NEED!
Rating : ****½

TV....I still cannot get over the fact that my bed-sit doesn’t have a TV.....I really dun noe how I can survive until now though I manage to...Can you imagine I can watch TV 12 hours a day in Singapore...and now have to live with no TV in my room....KILL ME PLEASE!
Rating : *****

Nowadays, I dun believe in Fairy-God Mother (especially after watching Shrek2)...and this is not a posting for people to send me things please... ...I dun accept donations or sorts unless of course you are rich and handsome and want to offer yourself to me ....
I just want to share my sweet sour, bitter and spicy here.....other than that...I am just showing off that I am surviving!

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12.57am

A taste of heaven....

The blueberry muffin I ate this morning is sooo nice...I simply love it...

To live with someone....

Recently I have a visitor from home...my friend Liwei....stayed with me for a a couple of days....it was a funny feeling to live with someone...but I wont say it is bad....imagine the idea that someone cooks breakfast for you in the morning...and you just have to lie on the bed to wait for food to be serve...ahhh...so nice....and lazy...

And we meet again...

Nowadays, thing like to happen in trilogy...
like LOTR...

3 days ago...we meet again...
Yah..this Daniel guy...third time...I meet him on Sauchiehall street...
I am beginning to feel that we are too fated...or maybe
Glasgow city is just too small and thus everybody
keep meeting everybody...

But then again...
Nothing really happens actually...

230704

 

LoNG LoNg StoRy

Written on 20th July 2004

One minute past yesterday.
Yesterday was Bank Holiday.
Monday.
Was a beautiful day full of sunshine!(which summer should be)
Bloody good Day!

Anyway, so much about the weather reports...
yah...to tell my story about yesterday,
I need to tell another story that happened 3 days ago on Saturday...

Saturday, I went to watch Spider Man 2 with Bax ( a colleague)
and we meet Daniel(another colleague) along Buchanan street...
and so it happens...Daniel join us for the movie...

After the show...sorry side-track a bit..Spidey 2 is DAmN GoOd!!!..
er where was I..ok ok..after the show yah...we went on seperate ways to go home...
Bax was first to leave ...he run to catch a bus...
left me and Daniel...becos we sort of head for the same direction home...

So let me cut short my story and go straight to wat i want to say...
we walked pass a park and passed by a bush of white flowers...
He suddenly stop and asked me to wait...
he walked towards one flower and sniffed hard at it...
He smiled and ask me to smell it as well...
I did what I was told and...
ah...vaguely sweet...
which I suspect part of the actual fragrance was gone
becos he sniffed it before me...
anyway....
we continues to walk and he commented...
that he had a very sensitive sense of smell
(at that moment a dog comes to my mind and
 i dun dare to mention in case he blows fire at me)
and would smell the flowers to see if they are growing well...
WOW!...I was ImPreeessssed!..managed to tilt my eyebrows and say...
"hmmm...."
To think that such a statement comes from a guy...
*a round of applause please*
The reason why i am impressed is really becos
I though he is a very insensitive person in the first place...

And so..end of my background story of Saturday...

Back to yesterday...

I was actually really wanting to write about something that happened yesterday ..
I walked past that park again...and past by that bush of white flowers again...
and I stopped.
I was going to do something I thought was silly 3 days ago...
But before anything really happened...
I saw someone walking towards me at the corner of my eye...
It was HIM!!!
I mean...coincidence happen but this is too much of it...
we exchange some silly hi-bye conversation and he left...
I walk on...approaching the next bush of white flowers...
and look back to make sure he is no longer there....
and sniffed hard at one of the white flower which is blooming exarrgerately...

 
ahh...vaguely sweet...
I hope this flower is growing well ..but seriously..
I really can't tell by smelling it...

End Notes...

I was really amused by the fact that we meet again ...
And i thought this kind of things only happen in drama series...
but then drama is never too drama because things really do
happen dramatically in real life...
And so...this story adds a little spice to my boring life...
even though I dun have any special feelings for this Daniel guy...

I thought it brighten up my life a bit...

200704

 

 

 

MatTer of LiFe aND DeAth...

Yesterday...there was this moment
where I had to make life and death a decision
which everything happened in split second...
it was that decision which determine my existence today...
and whether this blog will be published....
It only shows that...
I made the decision that keeps me alive until today...

Anyway, the story goes like this...

I was walking along Sauchiehall Street( pronounced as ‘saw-kee-hor’ in case
 people from Singapore dun noe... is somewhere like Orchard Rd in Singapore..,),
Where I approach a traffic crossing....instead of stopping to wait for the “Green Man” to flash which I usually would...I simply walk across the road carelessly...

After exactly 3 steps onto the road...6 things happened in split second.

One,  I notice a bus approaching on my left...about 3 metres away

Two, I spot a car coming from my right...about 3 metres as well..

Three,  I looked in front to determine how many steps I was away from my intended destination...which I estimated was 7 Big steps...considering I have short legs...

Four, I made a decision to walk back 3 steps.

Five, I walked 3 BIG steps back while the bus and car ZOOOM! pass side by side on the narrow 2 way road without signs of slowing down...

Six, Open my eyes real big to see the car and bus drove past while holding on to my breathe...

And yes, they all happened in spit second...

I froze at my safety zone after that and tell myself...
I am so glad that I’m still alive!


 
ThE EnD.

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A sense of affinity...this boy and me... 

All wE Get fROm LovE is a lOVe SONg

Ah...recently have been listening to this song repeatly on my laptop...
Day and Night...
As soon as I reach home....
Because..It sound sooo painful and to a point...
tRue...

Like sailin' on a sailin' ship to nowhere,
Love took over my heart like an ocean breeze.
As season fly I knew that I was losing
Love was washed away with the driftin tide.


Oh it's a dirty old shame
that all you get from love is a love song
It's gotcha layin up nights waiting for the music to start.
It's such a dirty old shame
when you got to take the blame for a love song.
Because the best love song is writing with a broken heart.
(chorus)

Now the tears in my eyes are ever blindin'
The future that lies before me I cannot see
(future I cannot see...)
Although tomorrow I know the sun is rising
Lightin' up the world for everyone, but not for me.

By Carpenters...

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Vaguely sweet... 

Food will keep me alive!!!

Recently, I am always feeling hungry...
Perhaps I have been too harsh on myself lately...
Tonight, I cook myself a bowl of sweet potatoes soup...
Like that day I bake that half piece of Bak Kwa...
It was in the middle of the night ...2am...I think
I stood by the cooker and stare at the soup to boil....
And I was actually excited by the thought of it...
I must be hungry...
Add a little sugar...as usual..
I like my food to be slightly sweet...
Just slightly...
The idea of something vaguely sweet is intriguing...
Anyway, I finish the soup in minutes...
DAMN satisfied!
ANd so I conclude for the night...
Food will Keep me alive!!!!

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Regarding whether there is God....

Two days ago...after I made my confession...
I found an extra £10 in my cash box...
This extra is from nowhere
because I have just done my accounting very recently...
and have been keeping track of my money....
which in no way a £10 can creep into my cash box...
 
And so...
I have concluded that...
 
It was from GOD for my toilet rolls....
 
Maybe, there really is GOD...
 
 
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My confession...

I have been doing something lately 
That I thought would consider rather despicable
Which I see the need to make a serious confession...
 
That is,
 
I have been taking toilet papers home from the school library...
In another words...
I have been stealing toilet papers from the school library!
er well...maybe not steal...too harsh a word to use...
after all the toilet papers in the cubicles are free..
 
Well, I must say I am guilty, I really am.
But toilet rolls here are really too expensive...
Like £1.60 for 4 rolls...which is S$4.80 for 4 rolls...
This amount can buy me 2 dozens of toilet rolls in Singapore!!!!
I simply cannot allow myself to indulge in such a luxury
especially when £1.60 can buy me a lot of other things!!!!
 
However, I try to reduce my sin by not taking all the toilet rolls away...
but only a bit more everyday so that i have enough to use at home...
I will always make sure there are some left in the toilet so that other people can use...
 
If there really is GOD...
please dun send me to hell for stealing toilet papers,
as I really have my difficulties...
Best thing is...
If there really is GOD,
Send me some toilet rolls, please!
Thank You.
 
160704
 
 
 

Opps! I cut it again...

Yesterday, I dreamt that I cut my hair AGAIN!

YES! AGAIN!
Third time.

This time, I cut my hair shorter then shoulder length...
It felt so real that I really thought I cut it  but I couldn't remember when...
I am actually quite confuse with this recurring dream ...

Is it suppose to tell me...
It is time for me to cut my hair and has been mentally preparing me
to the emotion trauma that I am about to face...  
 
OR 
 
Is it balancing a mental state that
I actually wanted to cut my hair but couldn't bear to cut it in real life,
therefore have to cut it in my dream?

OR
 
Is it a warning to tell me..
"YOU BETTER DUN CUT UR HAIR OR YOU WILL BE SORRY!" 
you know...
something like showing me how devastated i will be if i really cut it!

So how now?
Wat's the verdict?
Jian hai shi bu Jian?
Somebody....vote please!
 
200704
 

Who should I marry?

Recently...I have a dilema....
I am stuck between the choice of marrying Spider man or wait for Harry Potter to grow up...
OHHH.....I must be dreaming....lol...
 
 

Addicted

I am sure this is some kind of addiction....
To be online at this time of the day...whenever i can...
Or maybe i am just bored...
Becos life with no TV has made me rather handicapp....
NO NEWS....i hate it....
I just want to know what is going on in this world...
I just want to know something is happening....
Or Life will be too BORing!

Apples....

I have apple-craving recently...
I bought a bag of ten yesterday and ate 5 of them since....
now I have 5 left and i suspect i can finish them tomolo....
10 apples COST £1.48
which is S$ 4.50
I can't believe i am spending such amount on apples....
I shouldn't....becos i am suppose to be on tight budget...
But i dun care...I want to eat apples...
and that's it!

130704
4.41pm

I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!

Yesterday, i dreamt that I cut my hair...just the fringe...
not much though...
but is enough for me to cry and cry in my dream....
so sad that i can feel the pain in my heart....
I guess that is a warning....
To warn me not to cut my hair....
I have plans to cut my hair 2 days ago....for a project call
"Rapunzel Complex" or "Rapunzel Revenge"
anyway...now with that dream....I am thinking of alternative.....

I promise I will NOT cut my hair for the time being....until I stop having this nightmare again...this is in fact the second time i had such dreams...the last time I dreamt that i cut my hair till shoulder length...and i cried and cried as well....until my heart aches

Guess i am not ready to cut my hair really....
Better keep it long for the time being....
For my heart sake....

130704
4.25pm

Bak kwa Sensation

I think i am crazy.
Sitting in front of the oven waiting.
Waiting for my bak kwa to heat up and ready.

I wake up in the middle of the night, which i suspect is 3am now
( I dun really noe the time, i am just guessing) to bake bak kwa....
In fact, i didn't wake up, because I couldn't sleep in the first place,
while i just lie on my bed thinking a about a lot of things....

Then I decided that I am going to eat Bak kwa.
I open the fridge and took out the Bak kwa that i kept in Ziploc bag...
2 pieces of them.
Took out one and tear it into half....not in equally half uncontrollably....
I stare at the 2 halves for more than 5 second and think very hard....
Deciding which piece i should put in the oven...
I decided to be generous with myself tonight and choose the bigger half...

So now..here I am waiting.
For me bak kwa to heat up and while waiting, I though I should write down this crazy act while waiting....

I suspect I must be crazy right now...or maybe i am just hungry.
But no. i am not.

Not hungry I am sure, but not sure if i am crazy.....

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I think is 3am but is actually 4am then.

I dun drink coffee...but oh i love tea...

i dun drink coffee...
but ohh i love tea...
The pale pale aroma...
and the bitterness within...

I love my tea with sugar...
and no milk please....
Just a little sugar....
Makes it bitter and yet a little sweet...

Just like my love when i was seventeen...
Just like tea with sugar added in...
a little bitter..
and yet a little sweet....

I dun drink coffee...
But ...ohh i Love tea..
with a little sugar...
Feel so bitter but a little sweetness within....

120704
4.41pm

It accumulates

When i sit on my bed and start to trim off split ends from my hair ...
I know i bored.....
I know i bored....
This kind of boredom may seem harmless ....
but they accumulates...

Please go away....
I hate to beg but no no...
Dun wanna stay this way.....

When i stare out my windows to wait ....
wait for the sun to rise and then it goes away...
Day by day...
This kind of boredom may seem harmless....
But they accumulates.....

Please go away...
oh...please please go away
I hate to beg but NO NO
Dun wanna stay this way...

One day I sit on my bed.....
stare at the ceiling and feeling dead...
as minutes past by I tell myself...
This kind of boredom may seems harmless
but they kills when they accumulates....

Please go away...
Oh...before it accumulates...
I hate to beg...but no no no no no...
Dun...wanna ...stay this way.....

120704
4.28pm

DASHBOARD!

Yes. They dashed.
That is why they are called the DASHBOARD.

Yet another amazing features of MAC to help you organise you work station.
It allows you to place miscellaneous on the dashboard for quick access without opening the application itself, such as posting stickies, check dictionary and google online, check time and schedule ONTO a semi transparent layer work station, which you can call up in the middle of your work process and push away easily when done.

Go try it!

LOVE DA DOCK!

The DOCK is the number one thing apart from the appearance of you Mac that will drool you the moment you lay your hands on your newly activated MAC.

Why?

Because it is pretty, neat and COOL!
Not forgetting to mention, bouncy and animated.
Most importantly, it is helps you to keep your work station ORGANISED!

The dock of a MAC is something like the taskbar of a window PC.
Yet, it is also like an tray at the bottom of your desktop to organise your applications and folders.

Instead of putting shortcuts on the desktop...
you park applications and files that you frequently use at the DOCK so that you don't have to search for it at the FINDER.

Search things as you scroll over the icons ...bouncing as you scroll pass....

The visual thrill of it is enough to put a smile on your face everytime you work on it.

What can be more precious then enjoying the process space while you work.

I can only say...Whoever design the DOCK...

APPLE OWES YOU.